Hush Little Baby
by VivianVandam
Summary: She was there once before, she managed to escape the clown before. Now, all grown up the nightmare comes back once more. Laughing Jack, had his eyes on her son Calen...using him to get to her. Being forced into a whole new nightmare, Faylen must face her biggest fear: losing her son. However, there are more then just one pair of eyes on her, would she survive a second time?
1. Chapter 1

Hush Little Baby

Vivian VanDam

Chapter one, Haven.

I work in a rather large Victorian style mansion. The front foyer and the rest of the first floor was covered in marble tiles, once you stepped into the main area, right in the center of the room was the spiraling staircase leading up the upper floors. There were eight. Nine if you counted the attic. Around the staircase was beautiful black iron railings, going all the way up. Before you hit the top floor, right dead center of the room, was a large real crystal chandelier…it's beautiful. In the midday, when the sun hits it just right it casts beautiful rainbows throughout the foyer. Passed the foyer there were five different doors, one led to Stu's, (the master) dojo. He taught Tai Chi. He made money, but not nearly as much as the missus, and my best friend Myu, she was the C.E.O of a plus sized fashion company; it had originally taken off in Korea. Now, she's over here spreading her beautiful clothing. Next to that, was the largest dining area you'll ever see. It had a table that could fit thirty, forty on a good day. Another crystal chandelier hung above the table that was made from red rood. The breakfast nook was for family only, the walls were made of glass and was surrounded by greenery. It truly was amazing. We maids, were not treated as help. We were treated as family. Within the living area held a large wrap around couch, with a 3D television. Something Stu HAD to have. The kitchen was just as big as the dining area. A full staff of chef's come in and make the Master and Missus's meals every day. They too are paid handsomely. The mansion had a large front porch with a solid thirty acers worth of land, surrounded by a forest. Covered in trees, the wild life loved to come from the forest and check out the home. I loved the forest in the summer and spring, wild flowers bloomed in the large field. Fall was nice, watching the leaves change while doing the dishes. I'm their maid, the youngest. I'm twenty-seven. They pay was alright, five hundred a week. Sometimes a little more if I work over my forty hours. It pays my bills, supports my son, puts food in his stomach and clothing on his back I was happy. Myu, has five children a sixth one on the way. She wanted a girl, so they kept trying till, hopefully now she would have one. She didn't hire nanny's, she wanted to raise her children by herself. Which she had done, she also helped me raise my own son, Calen.

Throughout the halls there were amazing paintings, real Persian rugs and vases that costs more than my rent. Yet, Myu was very humble. She never showed off she had money. She just loved the beauty of _real_ things. She never spoiled her children, and not once has she ever bought something she didn't use, and or tended to use. The uniforms I had to wear were very simple. Skirt, five-inch heels, a blue blouse and stockings. My back and legs scream by the end of my shift, there are times where I just want to sit down and cry from the soreness…I had my son to look after. There are seven of us total, I made seven. It's hard, honest work. There's not a day I go home without feeling some sort of accomplishment. I have breakfast with my son before shoveling him off to school, I have lunch at work, and my son comes to Myu's mansion for dinner. Sometimes we have breakfast here, if I was needed early.

My son goes to the same school as Myu's oldest four children. She agreed to pay his school fees, and I was more than happy with that. Calen is nine years old, my god he's a bundle of energy. He took after me in pretty much everything. Curly red hair, bright green eyes, freckles over his face, light lips and light skin tone. We sometimes tease one another and call each other 'Casper the Friendly Ghost'. Yes, we're Irish. Well, I'm full blooded. Calen is Irish and German. He's my little ray of sunshine. As cliché as that is, it's true.

I'm the only maid allowed to go into Myu's bath area and help her with her yoga. She's about ready to pop at any moment. I love her to death as well, there are times we must keep our friendship a secret to Stu…and Stu…he's an enigma. He's scares me to death. There are times if were alone in the same room, I get chills running up and down my spine. I feel like…like he's something totally _wrong_ he has eyes that could pierce through your soul if you allowed him to look at you long enough. One time, while rubbing essential oils on Myu's swollen legs and feet, I caught him watching me from the other end of the room. When I confronted her about it, she told me it was because one of their other maids, had stolen something and he didn't trust younger maids.

I don't think that's it at all…another reason I hate him, is because when we're alone, he loves to rub against me. Or 'accidently' brush my bottom, or elbow my breast. Now, I'm not a skinny woman. I am well endowed, but that gives him no reason to 'accidently' touch me. I know it's not an accident. I've been working with them for the last nine almost ten years. Since I had turned sixteen and she took me in for a while…that's too long of a story to get into.

One night I was cleaning his dojo, on my hands and knees waxing the floors with a Korean oil, he came barging in, locking the door behind him. I watched him as carefully as I could. When Stu is around I never pay attention to him, I ignore him unless spoken too…this time, it was different. He walked up to me, told me to stand up. When I did, he wrapped his hand around my throat and shoved me against the wall. I stared at him, I just watched him do this to me as if I was watching a movie, and someone else was me…he was breathing heavily on me, trying to kiss me. All I did was bring both my arms up, struck him in the center of his elbow. He lost his grip on me, and I ran.

Ever since that day, only Anya the eldest maid was allowed his clean his dojo.

I was fine with that.

I hated that man with an undying passion.

Every night when I come home with Calen, I have a bone deep ache and all I want is a hot shower and to collapse into my bed and fall asleep. But…my son needed me. I help with his math homework, I ask him how his day was. It was the same answers, over and over…every single night. There are times, if Myu allows me to go home early, I spend the rest of the evening making a feast for him. He may be turning ten, but he eats like a teenager, how he stays so rail thin, I'd never know…after dinner I'd sing him a song to make sure the 'monsters' stay away. I think it was just his way to see me before he fell asleep.

My son knows I try hard to raise him right, he understands what I do is for him. He doesn't tell me he gets teased at school, but I know he does. I see it in his eyes. I see how lonely he gets. Considering his only friends are the ones that he grew up around. He never once complained. Not about his Wal-Mart clothes, or his second-hand shoes…even the shabby two-bedroom apartment that I can hardly afford. But, my son goes to the best school in the county. Thanks to Myu for that one. He tries to comfort me, in telling me that everything will be alright, that he doesn't need any _real_ friends when he has me, and the older maids from Myu's…but, that's all he had ever known. I try to teach him right, that sometimes having a little is just enough, and having a mother who busts her ass for him day and night was all he needed. I understood that he wanted a father, he never once asked about him, he never seemed to want to know. It's as if he understands the situation at hand. For a nine-year-old…he's one smart cookie.

The best part of every night, before I sing him to sleep, he kisses my cheek and tells me he's proud of having a mommy that works so hard, that he's happy with his books (albeit worn down). He surprises me whenever Christmas comes around, all the other kids had the newest iPhone, iPod, or a mac book air, he just looks at me and tells me.

'Mommy, I don't want a computer. I just want a new book for Christmas. Maybe even new socks.'

All he ever wants is books, drawing supplies and I'll tell you what, the most expensive thing he had ever asked me to buy him, was a fountain pen. And I'll be damned if I didn't buy him one.

A lot of people are surprised when I tell them my son's only nine. They think he's so much older due to how he looks, and acts. But nope, he's my little nine-year-old baby. He's still a child at heart who believes there are monsters underneath the bed, in the closet…and I giggle. It makes me feel, like there's still something I can teach him.

'All monsters, are human.'

I know it sounds so wrong to teach a nine-year-old that, but it's true. Everyone can become a monster. No matter how old, how young…it can happen. And I try to raise him to not believe everything he hears. Something I should've been taught by my own mother.

Calen isn't spoiled by any means, he does housework. Calen cleans the dishes, vacuums and sweeps the floor. The only thing I don't allow him to do is the laundry, that's only because I have a certain way I want it done…and possibly because he might have flooded the bathroom with suds…yes, the only place for our washer and dryer is in the bathroom. At the end of every week, he gets an allowance. A dollar for each year he is. He's a very, very bright young boy. When report cards come out, if he has all straight A's I give him a little 'bonus'. I take him out to dinner, and I give him an extra ten dollars. Sometimes I just give him an even twenty.

…My son is a very thoughtful child, a few nights ago I was struggling with rent, he comes walking in (when he's supposed to be asleep) with a large coffee tin I gave him to keep his change in. He places it down in front of me, getting up in our worn down, mismatched dining room chair. He looked at me with those big, bright childlike eyes. His smile was large and bright, he had just lost his front left tooth.

Calen never believed in Santa, the Easter Bunny, nor the tooth fairy. He just showed me, and tossed his teeth away. I did try to get him to believe in good ol' saint nick, but it never worked. He looked at me as if I just walked out of the loony bin.

That night we sat across from each other, he looked at the bill in front of me. He reached into his tin can, and pulled out some money. He looked to see how much I was short, and handed me a hundred and fifty-one dollars. I gave him a look and he shrugged. That was the moment, I realized that my son, wasn't like your normal average child. I wrapped my arms around him, I hugged him so tight I thought his beautiful green eyes would pop from his skull. I couldn't help but cry, I loved my job, I loved my son, and I was thankful to have everything that I did. I did want to convince my son that, that money was his. That he should save it, keep it for himself. He could find something he wanted really, truly bad…and he would give me a look. And I knew, I wouldn't have won that argument. That night, I promised I would take him to the toy shop, like I said, he was still a nine-year-old who loved toys.

…

"Mommy!" He screeched jumping on my bed, I sat up drool and some of my red curled hair stuck to the side of my face. I reached up to rub my eyes, chunks of eyeliner and mascara came off. He was falling back off my mattress on the floor bed, laughing.

"You look like a clown!" He was pointing, laughing. I opened my left eye staring at him.

"It's my first day off in almost three weeks, why are you waking me up at…" I turned to look at my alarm clock. It read seven thirty.

"At seven thirty in the morning?" I moaned falling back on my pillow. Calen climbed up and flopped down on top of me squealing.

"Because, I wanted to go to the toy store!" He was excited, I could tell. I didn't blame him, it wasn't often that I had a day off on a weekend. I moaned rubbing my face again.

"Okay, okay…I have to pay rent today anyway." He was rubbing his face into my chest, his arms around me in a huge hug. I let myself smile before wrapping my own arms around him, I buried my face into his curls. I could smell my shampoo. It was a gentle floral smell. I was home…

"I'll make coffee!" He bounded up from my arms and trotted off, keeping the bedroom door open. Yawning I swung my feet off the bed, they touched the floor. I got up scratching my head, I fell asleep with my hair up in a messy bun. Walking into my living room, I had on my long t-shirt that I had gotten from a recent ex-boyfriend. The end of the shirt landed on my knees. Calen was pouring us both a cup, he added whatever I liked, he liked his coffee black. And strong. I sat down on our old, falling apart couch. I brought my cup to my lips and took a long drink. I sucked air through my teeth.

 _Yup, stronger then I make it. I love it though._

"Calen sweetie, are you sure you want to give me that money?" I asked him, he was sitting next to me in his sleepy time P. J's and he nodded.

"I know you were short on money mommy. Since you had to get a new window unit." He nodded to the living room window. A new A.C unit sat there running.

 _Calen must've turned it on before coming to wake me up. Smart boy._ I still gave him another look.

"How much have you saved up baby?" I asked, he gave a light shrug.

"Three hundred and ninety-seven dollars and thirty-eight cents." He took a long drink of his hot coffee. I had no idea that he had been saving up so much.

"I've saved up every penny I found, every dollar you gave me. Even the money that Myu gave me for my last birthday. "He crossed his legs Indian style like I do. I watched his smile grow, my heart melted.

"Baby…you're too sweet. You should've been saving the money…" I felt the look he gave me.

"Mom, we need to keep this place. Where else could we go? You don't like bother Aunt Myu for anything. I know how independent you love to be. I'm your son, I'm supposed to help. Just like you help me. We're family, it's what we do." His maturity showed even stronger.

"How about we go get breakfast too?" I asked, he gave a bigger nod.

"Ihop?" I asked, he nodded faster.

"Alright." I giggled at his naivety.

 _I raised such a good boy…_

"What were you saving up for Calen?" I asked, he tilted his head slightly.

"I was trying to save up so I could take you out shopping. You need pretty clothing. Not boy's clothing. I want you to feel beautiful, not ugly…" I was appalled.

"Why would you say that Calen?" I asked him, my eyes were wide. He gave me another look as if I had grown a third head.

"I hear you at night, you cry yourself to sleep. You tell yourself that you're ugly and I don't know why. You're beautiful. You don't have to wear all that make up, I don't understand why you do that to yourself." He shook his head slowly, giving a soft sigh.

"I wanted to make you happy. Your face smiles, but your eyes don't. Not like they used to be. I don't know what happened, I don't want to ask…it's none of my business." He finished his cup, taking it over to the sink, rinsed it out and placed it on the drying rack.

"I won't take the money back mom, it's a gift. Something I gave to you, besides. You always tell me, money can't buy happiness." I looked down into my cup, before taking my final swallow of coffee.

"This is true. Money doesn't buy happiness…unfortunately, it's what makes the world go around." I was getting ready to stand when he came over and took it from me. His small hands wrapped around mine, I looked at Calen.

"If only love could make the world go around, there would be no more monsters, and no more sickness…all would be better." Knitting my brows at what he said, he pulled away taking the cup with him. He rinsed it, went around me to his room to change.

 _What's gotten into that boy…?_ Shaking it off, I got up to go to my room to change into my off-day clothing.

…

Holding my sons hand, we walked down the busy street. Men passed by, not even glancing my way. It was something I had grown used too since…since _he_ left me. It left a deep hole within my chest. A hollowness I felt for nine years now. I grew custom to it. After paying rent, we went to Ihop, and now to the toy store. Calen picked out my outfit today. A worn-down pencil skirt, flats with a small heel, and a silk tank top that I had since I was twenty-one, when Myu bought it so I could go out to the bar.

 _Did not have fun that night…_

I felt depressed on my twenty first birthday, I wanted to be with my son, stay home and watch cartoons. As stupid as that sounded, I just wanted my family. Calen was the only person to slowly fill that hollow emptiness within my chest.

Something was still missing…I didn't want to think about _him._ He had been gone for so long, pushed away, out of sight, out of mind. It wasn't something I thought about often, I tried keeping the past in the past…and away from Calen, the less he knew about his mother's past, the better. Calen stopped in mid stride almost making me trip over him.

"Calen, don't stop all of a sudden- "He let go of my hand and ran into the store. I looked up to see it was an antique store. A pull forced me to open the door and walk in, I had felt a sudden sense of dejavu…I looked around the shelves in the front, nothing caught my eye. I watched Calen take off from the furthest shelving unit.

"Calen, don't touch anything! You can be a bull in a china shop!" I tried keeping my voice calm, yet a shakiness had come over me, I couldn't walk forward. Eyes. Eyes were staring at me, a chill that felt like fingers walked up my spine. I shuddered. My stomach had felt like a thousand-pound brick was laid in it. I didn't like the darkened corners of the store; a certain smell lingered in the air, I sniffed at the air. I was used to the old polishing oil, dust, dirt, rust…and something sweet. A sweetness I smelt before, I knew…I just couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"It's alright darlin, he's a child, ain't nothing in here worth hollarin over." I gave a look at the elder gentleman sitting at the welcome desk, on top of it was an old-time register. I gave him a light look, before offering him the best smile I could come up with.

That shakiness remained in my smile, my heart kept racing.

 _A panic attack? I haven't had one of these in years…what's going on with me today?_

"I'm sorry sir, you don't quite know my son, he can be very destructive. Just ask our windows." The joke came out drier then I wanted, yet the man still cracked a grin.

"Children will be children. If he breaks something it's alright. I've been here for four decades. Ain't nothing I can't handle." I gave a light chuckle and a nod. I looked at my wrist watch, Calen had run off not two minutes ago.

 _It feels like hours…_ Again that choking sensation, fingers wrapping around my throat. I coughed lightly.

 _Just dust. I breathed in some dust that's it…_ I tried taking in deep, calming breaths…

"Mom!" His sudden shrill voice snapped me back, I felt terror run through my veins. I tried not to panic and start off at a run, I was going at a fast walk. Heel, toe, heel, toe…faster. I took the same corner he did. In a second the panic tripled. I couldn't breathe.

 _I swear I can smell something like candy…_

I kept making turns, I heard a giggle…

 _I think it was him…it didn't sound like Calen._ My heart slammed on breaks, I watched someone take the next turn around another shelving unit, whoever it was had on white and black shirt and grey pants with suspenders. I was on him in a second.

Another giggle turning to laughter. It hit me again. That smell…

 _What the fuck is it? It smells so…_

I stopped, Calen was standing on his tippy toes reaching for an old Laughing-Jack-In-The-Box. It was beaten up, scratched all to hell and its colors faded to an off black and white. He pulled it down, and I felt a punch to my stomach, my chest heaved. It was a full-blown panic attack.

"Calen, don't you _dare_ scream like that again!" I stepped up to him placing my hand on his shoulder, the Laughing-Jack-In-The-Box was in his hands and staring up at me. My stomach had started doing summer salts. His eyes were wide and tear-filled.

"But I didn't- "I shook my head at him.

"Don't lie to me buddy, come on." I started to pull him to the front of the store.

 _This place is bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad…_

"Mommy, I want this." He pushed the box out to me, I gave it a once over. Knitting my brows together.

"Are you sure?" I asked, he gave a hard nod. Something about that box…looked _familiar._ I sighed before nodding.

"Alright, come on." I pulled. He was on my heels, jumping up and down, skipping…laughing.

 _Out. Need to get out…_

He was up at the register holding out the box. The man held his belly and laughed.

"You want that old thing? I've had it in this store for the last ten years. It needs a lot of lovin' think you can do that son?" He was leaning forward, Calen was nodding his head.

"Do you want to know something really cool?" He whispered, I gave the old man a look. Calen nodded.

"That box as a secret; if you try really, really hard and make a wish. A friend will pop out and grant you everything you've ever wanted." Calen's jaw opened in shock. I slowly shook my head.

 _This is the kid who didn't even believe in Santa…_ I scoffed, my temples throbbed. A whiff of…of…I turned to look over my shoulder.

 _Cotton candy…?_ I narrowed my eyes into the dark shadows. I didn't see anything.

"Uh, excuse me sir?" The old man stopped talking to Calen and looked to me.

"Yes darlin?" He leaned back on his chair, I gave him a quick look.

"Did someone else come in after us?" I asked, he shook his head no.

"No ma'am. Just you two." I felt a shudder run through my body.

"How much is the Laughing-Jack-In-The-Box?" Calen asked, I started to zone out staring into the darkness. A song began playing in the back of my head, it was soft, distant…a piano melody that I hadn't heard in years. A swirl of purple manifested within the darkness of the shadows, I had to squint my eyes to see, it was only dust swirling in the sun's rays that tried to break through the blackout curtains.

"How much? Oh, my dear sonny boy. Nothing, it's about time to spread the love and joy to the other children." Calen's screech brought me back, I shook my head hard. Trying to regain some sort of grasp onto the real world.

 _Sleep deprivation is all it is. All. It. Is._ I looked to the elder gentleman.

"How much?" I asked, the man shook his head.

"Nothin darlin. Just make the boy happy." I gave a slight look before nodding.

"Alright, thank you sir." I looked to the jack in the box, my stomach started heaving again. Something wasn't right about it…but I saw Calen's smile and him wrapping his arms around it. Already he was in love with the old thing…

 _Something feels…too familiar._

…

The bleating of my cellphone made me put my book on the arm of the couch, it was Myu. She had only called if it was emergencies, and it wasn't Thursday so it wasn't our normal vent to the best friend day…I picked up.

"Hey Myu, what's going on?" I was listening to one of the children screeching in the background, Myu trying to say something, Calen was in his room winding up the jack in the box having another laughing fit.

"I'm so sorry Fay, could you come in for a while? Leo is really, sick. He's running a fever, and vitamin M isn't work. I need to take him to the E.R" I was on it in a heartbeat.

"Of course, I'll come in. How are the other kids doing?" I asked, she groaned lightly.

"All of them are worried, he keeps throwing up everything and anything I try to give him. He severely dehydrated as well." She was moving again, and I looked at the clock, it was hitting nine.

"Sure, I'll be right over, just let me call Sarah so she can watch Calen." I was getting up.

"Should I put on my uniform?" I asked, I could hear her say something to one of the kids.

"No dear, just come in your off clothing. And I've told you already, you can stop wearing that thing. You're not sixteen anymore." Something fell.

"Baby, knock it off. Go read Dion something please?" She was fussing. I couldn't help but laugh gently.

"Alright Myu, I'll be over as soon as possible." I was about to hang up when she called my name.

"Thank you so much Fay, the other maids are just too old to handle this kind of stuff." I gave a light smile.

"It's no issue." I hung up, going through my contacts I found Sarah.

She picked up on the third ring.

"Yeah?" her voice sounded irritated.

"Sarah, I got called into work. Family emergency, could you watch Calen for a little bit tonight?" She was quiet as if contemplating.

"Yeah, whatever. I'll be over in five." She hung up first. She was a fifteen-year-old girl, it wasn't surprising she had an attitude about everything. I was on my feet, grabbing my purse and key, I went to Calen's room first. He was sitting in the middle of his rug, playing with the windup toy. It boggled my mind as to why he wanted it so bad.

"Calen, I have to go into work. Leo's sick. Sarah is coming over, she should be here any minute. Let her in okay?" I gave him a smile, his own smile left before giving me a shrug.

"Okay." I gave him another look.

 _I hate it when I must leave him with Sarah…I don't like it at all…I should talk to him about it soon._ I left his door cracked.

"You know, I don't need Sarah. I have someone else." His voice sounded serious. When I turned to look back at him, he was standing there holding the box. I shook my head slowly.

"Sarah for now, we'll talk later. I love you." I gave him a wave. He waved back.

…

I watched mommy leave, she had to go to Aunt Myu's because Leo was sick. He was sent home from school today because he kept throwing up. I sat on my bed winding up my new toy. I felt happier than I ever had since I found my new best friend. The top of the box opened, and the black and white clown popped out. He did a backflip before landing right on his feet.

"Well hello gum drop!" His voice was melodic and sweet, I gave a big laugh. He held out a handful of my favorite candies. Cherry jolly ranchers. He was tall, taller than mommy by a lot. He had sharp pointy teeth, with a pointed nose. He was black and white all over. He had long scary nails, but he didn't scare me. I never felt like I was in trouble or intimidated by him. I still felt sick to my stomach that Sarah was coming over. I didn't like her, I never had. Not since she started to play a game I didn't like. Jack noticed the look on my face.

"What's wrong gummy bear?" He asked tilting his head, his neck length hair stuck to him, his white eyes ran over my face as if reading me. He placed his hands to his hips, and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I can't tell you. It's against the rules." I kept shaking my head, sucking on my piece of candy. He knelt in front of me his smile slowly started to fade.

"What's against the rules Calen?" He wondered, I gave him a look and his eyes reflected the sadness in them.

"It's a game Sarah and I play. If I tell anyone, she'll hurt me…really, really bad." My shoulders slumped.

"So, I can't tell anyone." Jack crossed his arms and scoffed.

"Does this game involve playing doctor of some sort?" He asked, I looked at him in surprise.

 _How did he know?_

I gave a light shrug before looking back down at the dirty box. I had spent the rest of the afternoon trying to clean it, buff it out with sand paper and try to re-paint it a different color. There was a brown stain on it I just couldn't buff out. So, I gave up, and tried to toss some stickers on it.

"You know Calen, you remind me of someone that was your age." He sat down in front of me, and I saw that he had on socks that were the exact same color of his shirt.

"She looked just like you actually, with bright auburn red hair and the same colored eyes. She was a good little girl who, well…had the same game. But with a boy." I watched him lay back on my floor. I couldn't help but blink, surprised.

"She looked just like me?" I repeated, and Jack did a 'mhm' noise.

"Well, the only person I can think of who looks like me, is my mom." I replied, he started to slowly sit up, watching me carefully.

"Is your mom still alive?" He asked, I gave a nod.

"Yup, she works for Aunt Myu." His eyes looked me over, blinking slowly. His face seemed to have gone slack.

"And your dad…?" He asked, I gave another shrug.

"I never knew him. Mom told me that my dad left before I was born." He gave his head a tilt, looking me over slowly.

"I see…" He seemed to be lost in thought.

"Why?" I asked, he gave a light shrug before looking me over again.

"I was trying to get to know my new friend is all." He replied.

"What about you Jack? Do you have any family?" I asked, a dark look crossed his face.

"No." He snapped. I flinched.

"I'm sorry Jack, I didn't mean to offend you." I looked at my hands, he started to laugh.

"Offend me? Oh no. Calen, I see the darkest parts of you, the loneliness is deep inside you, just like me. And just like that little girl I knew. She has a sickness, just like you." He was sitting up and I looked at him.

"Sickness?" I asked.

"Just like her mother had it. It's something doctors can't get rid of or help…it's something that only a few people can get rid of." Jack shrugged.

"I don't follow." I reply. He shook his head.

"Let play!" He was started to laugh and smile. I gave a nod before going over to my large toy trunk. I had a lot of broken toys, toys I never played with anymore and some that I hadn't even touched in forever. Jack started to laugh at me.

"What do you want to play with clown?" I asked, he was up on his feet and going to my bed, he dropped down and pulled out a large stuffed dog. When I turned to look at him, I screamed with joy.

"How about this?" Jack held it up with a big, bright grin. Already I was on him, jumping, wanting to grab it and hold it. Hug it, and call it mine. He handed it down to me, and I rubbed my face into its fluffy fur. It was warm, and smelt just like cotton candy. I took a deep breath in and sighed in content. I was back to jumping up and down when I realized it was real.

"Oh my god! It's so fluffy I want to die!" The moment those words left my lips, Jack had a sick grin on his lips.

"Do you like Mr. Snuffles?" He asked, I nodded as fast as I could. I loved it. I loved it more than anything I had ever had before, other than the box of course. I looked at the stuffed dog, seeing it's large bright black eyes, it's fluffy brown ears, it was almost the same size as me. Well…anything could be as big as me. His hand reached over, gently touching the top of my head. He ruffled my curls, I looked at him. His touched had felt _nice._

"Hey Jack, have you thought about meeting my mom?" I was curious, I couldn't help myself.

"I wouldn't be allowed to gummy bear. It's against my own rules." I made a face.

"I'm sick of rules. Why can't people just be fair and care about each other?" I asked him, he was taken back by my question.

"Well gum drop, I'm…I'm not too sure." He started to rub the back of his neck he looked rather confused.

"I mean…well…" He chuckled.

"I don't know about love and care…those are two things that are not in my vocabulary." He started to take a step back from me. And I just gave him one last look.

"What about me? Don't you care about me?" Again, another look of confusion.

"Well yeah, you're my best friend!" He gave me a smile, bigger than before.

"Why can't you be best friends with my mom?" I asked, he was starting to say something.

"The girl you described, could she be my mom from when she was a kid?!" I was getting excited, and he gave a look to me.

"Doubtful." He replied.

"Well I was wonder-"

"Calen, little bud, where are you?" My smile disappeared, and Jack made a tilt of his head.

"Who's that Calen?" He asked, my smile completely disappeared as I sighed heavily.

"That, would be Sarah…" I frowned heavily.

"I don't like it when my friends aren't smiling…" Jack's own smile disappeared.

"I don't like it at all…" He took a step and dissipated into a cloud of purple fog. I shrank into my stuffed animal and hugged him tighter, hoping that Jack wasn't gone forever. I wanted to have him back, so I could play with him more and not Sarah. I never liked the games Sarah wanted to play. They didn't feel right.

My door opened and she was there, with her big bright hazel green eyes. Her hair touched her shoulders, she wore a skirt that I noticed first. I tried swallowing spit, but my mouth was drier than sand. It left a bad taste as well. I held onto my stuffed animal tighter than before. She walked further into my room, closing the door behind her. She had rolled her hips in a certain way that made me want to scream, she scared me.

 _Help me please…I don't want to go through this again…_ I whimpered closing my eyes, she was taking the bottom of her shirt and started pulling it up over her head.

"Remember what I said Calen? Tell anyone and Doctor Sarah will rip off those ears and cute buttoned nose…" A noise, so soft I almost didn't hear it. Sarah was working at her bra when I looked over at the center of my room, my jack in the box laid there. The handle of it winding. A distorted piano or organ began to play, a voice carried over from the box.

" _Round and round the carnival ground, the clown chased the child. The blood was shed, the soul bled and bled…."_

The music grew louder, faster, the handle on the box moved with the music. My eyes were fixated on it. The sudden moment it had slowed down, I waited.

" _ **POP GOES THE WEASEL!"**_

The clown jumped from the box, Sarah screamed, pulling herself away and I crawled to the back of the bed, holding the stuffed dog close to me. He stood taller than I could remember, he didn't even look at me, he was looking at Sarah.

"They searched around every corner and bed, but never could find them." He was smiling, reaching out with his hands, the candy melted into black and white goo. Ribbons shot forth, wrapping around Sarah's legs, and I didn't even try to help. I didn't want too. He was laughing, laughing, and laughing, but his laughter didn't scare me

The music kept playing, and I closed my eyes and listened.

"And that's the way the town here works…" He was speaking through his laughter.

" **POP GOES THE WEASEL!** " He screamed, as did she.

I opened my eyes, the two of them were gone. Only a small smear of blood, from the ribbons left on my bed. I reached over and covered it, I covered it with my blanket. I crawled up to the head of my bed, I laid down, the dog against my chest, watching the box. It didn't move, the music was gone, so was Sarah. And I was happy.

…

Every time I tried to get ahold of Sarah there was a message tone, every time I had tried to reach the house phone Calen didn't answer. My heart was running wild within my chest. I couldn't breathe. I needed to know my son was safe. I dialed the apartments number again, and once more. Nothing. There was nothing…I was left with dead air. I couldn't help but look at the time on my phone. It was a little past twelve. Sarah had to have still been up, at least she could do was answer the damned phone…I rubbed my tired eyes as the screen of my phone doubled. I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. A giggle from behind me, I turned around and was about to raise hell.

"Ian, you should be in bed mister!" I was tired, I had no patience…

Up the spiral stairs I went, stomping my feet as I did so. The moment I hit the children's floor, which was the second landing. I noticed a light going on underneath the bathroom door. I was about to say something when a little brown-haired boy poked his head out from his bedroom door.

"His Ian in trouble Auntie Faylen?" He asked, the children had normally called me Ms. Snow in front of their father, but in front of their mother, other maids or by themselves, it was Auntie Faylen. His brown eyes danced in his dim bedroom light. I gave a light smile.

"No Dion dear." I knelt, placing my hands on his shoulders.

"He should be in bed, so should you." He gave a light look; his eye was swollen around the outside.

 _Damn it Stu…he must've struck him for some damned reason again._ I sighed, kissing him on the forehead.

"It's alright dear, if you want to stay up and read, stay up and read." He nodded before hugging me goodnight. He closed his door behind him, when I turned around I saw Ian standing in the bathroom closing the door behind him. His own brown eyes looked at me, he seemed just as shocked to see me up there as I am to see him awake.

"Ian…you should be in bed sweetheart…" I sighed, he too had a swollen lip. I felt horrible…I had been in the exact same position a while ago…

"I'm sorry Auntie Fay, I had to pee." He was walking down the hall, brushing past me. Lightly his hand caught mine, he placed a piece of paper within my hand.

"Good night Ian…" I watched as he closed his bedroom door behind him. I brought the piece of paper up, reading it.

 _Help us. Please. We can't stand it anymore. Daddy's planning something. You're in danger._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

Nightmares

I laid out in my bed, holding my stuffed dog close to my body. The smell of cotton candy brought me deeper into comfort. My eyes got heavier. The thought of Sarah long gone. I was happy. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly. Heaviness of sleep wrapped around me, dragging me under. I missed the easiness of sleep. It seemed almost impossible that I was going to get any sleep anymore. I was always so worried about my mommy…

 _I'll just tell mommy that Sarah never came over. I don't like lying…but my friend Jack would get into trouble if I tell her what happened._

Soft music started to play in the darkness. It was gentle, making a smile play across my lips. It reminded me of the time mommy took me to the carnival. Popcorn, cotton candy, roasted peanuts and fried food. Smells I missed when I was a little boy. Well…younger then what I am now. I squeezed the stuffed dog closer to my body. Rubbing my face into its softness, letting out a soft sigh in content.

Laughing…I can hear more laughing.

Lights, bright lights blinded me.

When I opened my eyes, I was still holding onto my stuffed dog that Jack had given me. I was in a completely different place then my bedroom. I was at a carnivial. A _real_ carnival. Other children were running around, laughing and playing. A large tent loomed over me, a shadow of a child ran by me. A…unpleasant smell followed with it. My stomach started to drop in uneasiness…I held my dog tighter. There was something about this place, I didn't really like…it…it was wrong.

 _I need to find mommy…she'll know what's going on._

"Mommy?" I cried out. Only the laughter and haunting carnival music kept playing. I was starting to get scared…my bladder was full too…

 _Be a big boy…be a big boy…_

"Jack?" I cried out, hoping at least someone would understand where I am, why I'm here…Jack was a clown after all. I looked down, the ground underneath my feet wasn't dirt…it was solid concreate…something that could hurt someone if they fell.

 _Is this even safe…?_ Shivering I walked forward. Rides moved on their own. Stables were horse, elephants, and lions were empty. This wasn't like the normal carnival I was used too; the tent grew in size. Everywhere that I had turned, it led me right to the large black and white tent. That's where the shadows were running into…

 _Should I…go in?_ I was shivering, my bladder growing weaker by the second. I didn't want to…I didn't want too…

"I want my mom…" It was a soft plea.

The music changed, it wasn't happy anymore. It was slower, darker…

 _What was that word mommy always used? Eerie?_ _Whatever that means…_ I chewed on my bottom lip. Keeping my eyes closed.

 _Can't I just stand in one place till I wake up or something?_ I shook my head. No, that wouldn't work. I wasn't even home anymore. I was somewhere entirely different. And I had a find a way out, so I can get back to mommy. She might've started calling the cops or someone to help look for me. It would be strange if Sarah just disappears and I follow…

"Okay Calen…you can do this. Just walk right up to that tent, ask for directions and then leave. Easy right?" I asked myself. I looked back up to the large open flaps, shaking my head.

"Nope, not easy at all." I sighed, keeping the dog close to my chest.

When I went into the tent, the atmosphere changed completely. It was dreary, dark and smelt like…like…

"Death…" I whispered. I knew that smell all too well…it wasn't something you can easily forget…my legs didn't want to move. I didn't want to move. Within the center of the tent, a light turned on. Lights around me faded into nothingness. I stood where I was, too afraid to walk forward. Within the center of the tent was Sarah, sitting on a chair. Her head hung low, legs shredded into bits and pieces. Blood painted her lower body and the cement underneath her. When her head lifted, she looked up at the burning light above her. Something covered her mouth, I couldn't tell what it was. She looked uncomfortable where she was sitting.

Maniacal laughter drowned out the music around me. I clenched the stuffed dog with every bit of strength I had. Within the center light, Sarah looked at me. Her eyes were wide with fright, she was trying to scream out to me. I still stood where I was. I didn't want to move if I didn't have too. She was rocking in the chair that was bolted into the ground.

A shadow casted over her, her head turned back in front of her. I watched the tears flow over her cheeks, she was trembling…scared. I didn't feel any empathy for her at all. The monochromatic clown walked to her. His head bowed as he watched her squirm. His smile stretched over his cheeks. He was laughing again.

"So, you like touching little boys?" He was leaning into her ear, a forked tongue shot out licking her ear.

"I will make you pay for every little boy you've touched…" His hand wrapped around her throat. Sharp nails pierced her skin, her cries were gone. Jack looked over at me, his teeth sharp as he smiled. Placing one finger to his lips, he shushed me.

…

The mansion was finally silent around me. The other three children finally fell asleep. Going back down to the main floor, I sat down on the couch. Kicking my flats off I brought my knees up. It was almost four in the morning, I was getting sick with worry. Normally Sarah checks in every few hours.

 _I didn't even get notified she got to my apartment safely…_ I chewed at my bottom lip. The missus hasn't even told me anything about baby Leo.

 _I love these kids like they're my own…I hope Leo is okay…_ I looked down, my hands were playing with the cracked original Iphone screen. I was worried about my babies…my beautiful children. When I swiped the screen, I saw Calen's bright eyes and his smiling face. It brought some comfort to me.

 _Should I notify the police?_ I shook my head.

 _No, now you're just being paranoid. Calm down Faelyn…there's nothing wrong at home…Sarah could've just fallen asleep on the couch…_ I took a deep breath. I kept trying to tell myself that…but deep within my stomach, something was off. Motherly instincts wouldn't lie. I looked through my contacts, and tried calling the house phone. It kept ringing, and ringing…within the dead silence of the night I felt my heart sink deeper into despair…

"Mommy?" Calen's voice was sleepy through the phone. I cried out in surprise.

"Calen! Sweetie, is everything okay? Did Sarah show up?" I breathed out. He sounded slightly scared.

"No mommy, she didn't. I've been home alone since you left. So I just went to bed…when I woke up and you weren't here I got really scared…" He wasn't telling me everything, I could tell by the sound of his voice.

"What else Calen?" I pushed. He seemed…worried.

"I…I kind of wet the bed…" I sighed in relief. It wasn't too bad.

"Alright honey, just toss the sheets in the washer. You know how to work it. Add bleach. You can go back to bed in my room. Alright?" It seemed to cheer him up a bit.

"Alright mommy…when are you coming home? I miss you…and I hate the dark." I heard him shift in the darkness. I gave a light smile.

"As soon as the missus comes back from the hospital." I replied.

"How's Leo doing?" He asked, Calen and Leo had been really good friends for awhile…I understood why he cared so much.

"I'm not sure sweet heart, I haven't heard anything. I'll try to be home as soon as I can. Okay?" He was silent a moment longer.

"Okay mommy, I love you…" He stopped for a moment.

"Be safe." My heart melted.

"I love you too Len. I'll be home soon." I hung up the phone. I had felt so much better now, then I had before. Knowing my son was okay, I was beyond furious at Sarah.

 _How could she just leave Calen alone?! It's almost as bad as me catching her having sex on my couch with her boyfriend. I swear if I see that girl I'm going to give her a piece of my mind, and make sure I find someone else to watch Len…she makes me feel like a horrible parent. Leaving my child alone like that…_ I took a deep breath slowly calming my rapidly beating heart.

 _I understand why he peed himself. He was probably scared half to death. Waking up in a pitch black home, without anyone there. He must've had a nightmare or something. He hasn't peed himself in years._ It was a little confusing…but I understood.

I yawned, leaning back into the plush couch. My eyes were burning, and growing heavier by the moment. I placed my chin in the palm of my hand. Eyes bobbing…fighting to stay awake. My mouth opened in an automatic yawn. Within the still air, there was a faint smell of cotton candy and roasted peanuts. Soft music chimed within the darkness; I tried opening my eyes to no avail. Hands wrapped around my face, pulling me under. Within the darkness I fell.

The landing was painful, smacking right into the cold, solid ground. My eyes opened this time with no effort. I pushed myself up with ease, though the landing hurt it didn't feel like anything was broken, bruised or busted. Getting to my feet, I brushed myself off. The air was chilled, the music faded into the distance. Within the air lingered a smell of old grease. The rides seemed rusted, and familiar. A chill crept up my spine. The stables where horses should've been laid vacent. Rusted cages that once held animals, left a soft smell of urine. I shuddered.

"Where am I? What kind of…nightmare is this…?" I whispered, wondering through the empty walkways. Through the attractions of where carnies used to be. A soft fog laid around the area. A monochromatic tent loomed over the area, as if the center of attraction. There was a soft pull to the tent. I played with my fingers figidting. Unsure of my next descion…

 _This place is too familiar…I've been here before. In my childhood maybe?_ I shook my head slowly.

 _No…we were too poor to go to places like this…why does it feel so familiar?_ I rubbed my arms gently. Touching a scar on my arm. The fear crashed into me.

"Oh no…" I whispered.

The soft laughter of children made me cringe. This place…this place wasn't right…it…it…

 _Evil…pure evil…_ I started taking a step back.

My back bumped into something solid and I froze in a state of pure panic. Sweet cotton candy washed over me. My hairs stood on end, sweat dripped down my breasts stomach turned to knots while my legs trembled all over again. Sharp nails, ran down the back of my neck. The solid mass leaned in, something was tickling my face.

"Hello toots…" The voice whispered.

My body surged with adrenalin while the fear diminished. When I dropped down to the ground, I brought my leg around. My ankle was caught, not by a hand…by something else slithering up my leg.

"Now, now toots…" I realized the voice was male, I looked up. Black hair covered a paste white face. A pointed black and white cone was his nose, his smile was wide, with shark like teeth, his outfit was obscene. A white and black striped undershirt, a grey shirt with black and white feathers peaking at the top. Suspenders captured black and grey striped pants. A buckle held them up, bandaged wrapped around his hands. Hands he was holding out, shooting whatever was wrapping up my legs from them. He was smiling, not smiling _with_ me oh no. Smiling _at_ me.

"You think you can attack me?" The chuckle turned to a hoarse laughter. The laughter shot me back, no wonder the toy Calen bought seemed familiar. I had one, just like it as a child.

"Mmmmhm…don't you smell deslish…I normally don't go for adults, but you…you returned to my cirucus. I don't understand how." He laughed, cackling really. I was fighting against him, kicking at the ribbons running up my legs to my hips. The clown walked up to me, leaning down. One hand on his hip, the other outstretched to me.

"Now, why and how would you come back?" He tilted his head in wonderment. I screamed as loud as I could.

"Get away from me you psychotic fucking clown!" The ribbons wrapped around my waist, his smile faded.

"That's not nice toots." The ribbons grew tight, cutting into my skin and blouse.

"Who are you?" He snapped. I stared at him, seeing my reflection within his snow-white eyes.

"Faylen. My name is Faylen Snow." I answered, shivering at his cold gaze. That gaze stayed at my face for a moment or two longer.

"Faylen Snow?" He pulled away for a moment, confusion played across his face. He studied me for a moment.

"That's impossible." The ribbons retracted leaving light scratches against my thighs. They weren't deep but they hurt like hell. I was confused just as he was, why was there recognition within those soulless eyes? Why was he looking at me like that?

"What do you want from me?" I asked, he just tilted his head again unable to tear his eyes away from my face. I pulled my legs away from him and pulled my knees up against my chin. He walked around me, watching me.

"What do I, Laughing Jack want from you?" He was kneeling beside me, I let out a startled scream. Unsure of how to approach him. What was I going to say to him?

"To understand how, and why you're able to come into my carnival of souls. Something only children can do…" He leaned in closer, I could smell the sweetness of candy on him. The smell itself made my teeth hurt. He reached out touching my face gently. His sharp nails ran over my skin, and I trembled. The tears fell, tumbling over my cheeks. His eyes reflected my face, my curly red hair, bright green eyes freckles over the bridge of my nose and cheek bones. My bowed lips, apple shaped face and sharp jawline. He leaned closer, close enough his nose was almost touching mine.

"You look so much like my new toy, Calen." The anger replaced the fear. I pushed back with a yell.

"Leave Calen alone, you monster!" I screamed. I used my palms to push him hard. He fell back onto his romp. The clown looked at me confused for a moment.

"You…you pushed me." I stood straight, spitting at him.

"You touch my son…I swear to God I'll skin you alive clown…" I clenched my fists. The clowns smile faded fast to a frown. The carnival began to grow darker.

"You made the wrong mistake Faylen. I'll bring you back every night that you sleep. In turn, your son will rest peacefully…" He was standing, his hand reached out wrapping around my throat.

"Little Kit Kat…" He whispered. My blood ran hot, my face flushed hot.

 _How…? What…?_ The darkness surrounded me, pulling me back again.

"I'll see you when you sleep again toots. I'll be waiting." I watched that smile come back. My stomach sinking once the darkness surrounded me. The carnival disappearing. I was left in darkness, fighting back memories of what was. This monochrome clown…I've seen him before. But where?

 _Where have I seen him? I know him from somewhere…but where? Where have I seen him? This makes no sense…how does he know my son?_

The thoughts fogged my brain, just like the light hitting my eyes. Burning them, hands were shaking me hard. My name, was being called.

I shot up from the couch just as fast as I fell into the darkness. I rubbed my eyes trying to get the sleep from them. The rough hands that were shaking me were of the master of the house. His cold eyes stared at me, as I stared at him.

"No sleeping on the job Ms. Snow." His hand lingered on my shoulder, longer then I had liked. I brushed it off as I stood. Slipping my flats back on. I checked my phone, it was only six thirty…I was only asleep for two and a half hours…it felt longer.

I stared at my son's face for a moment or two longer. The Master ran his fingers over my neck, licking his lips lightly.

"You know…that offer is still up Faylen…I'll be more than happy to give you…a big _fat_ raise…if you bend over my desk a little, in that uniform of yours." The sickness I felt made me back away.

"Don't you _dare_ touch me…" The look I gave him, must've meant something to him. Disgust went through his eyes.

"I figured a teenaged mother like you, would've apricated the attention." He looked me over chuckling.

"You were a little slut then, why not now?" He asked, leaning against the arm of the sofa. The surprise I felt knocked the words from my mouth.

 _He did not…_

"You don't understand a damn thing! Where I've come from, what I've done! I think I've done a damn good job supporting my son! He has clothes on his back and good food in his stomach." I was furious.

"And besides, yes I was young. I was an idiot having sex that young, but you know what? I don't regret it. I don't regret my son!" I wanted to smack him…yet he was my employer…I took a deep breath letting it out slowly.

"Speaking of which…I'm going home to change, feed my son, see him off to school. I'll be back to take care of _you_ and your children…" I spat. When I turned, he caught me by the back of my head pulling my hair back. Leaning in, his breath hot against my skin smelling of old coffee and garlic he whispered.

"I'll have you, sooner or later…little whore." He pushed me away. I fell forward, looking over my shoulder at him. The front door opened, a tired looking Missus walked in, holding a shivering Leo. She looked just as tired as I. When she looked at me, those golden eyes held a moment of knowing. As if she secretly knew what was happening, within my eyes I begged and pleaded.

"Faylen…go ahead take the day off. My husband can stay home with the children and I." She was soft spoken, yet I bowed. The look Master shot her made me shudder. Yet she shot him down.

"Ma'am how's Leo?" I asked, she finally gave a weak smile.

"He just had a really bad cold. Nothing that sleep and medicine can't handle. You go on home to Cay, when Leo is feeling better, would you mind bringing him over? I miss him." She gave a real smile, and I felt excited. I gave a nod.

"Yes ma'am." I walked to her, gently laying my hand on baby Leo's forehead. He looked so sickly…pale, and a thin film of sweat laid against his tan skin. I looked up at Missus pretty face.

"Ma'am, are you sure you don't need me?" I asked, she was steady staring into her husband's face.

"I'm sure Fay. You can go ahead and spend time with your family. Just like my husband is going to do today. Right?" The edge to her voice was of steel. Gently I kissed Leo's warm cheek.

"Get well soon sweet pea." Gently I stroked his tuff of hair. He whimpered. I gave Missus a gentle hug before walking out the door. As the door closed, I heard her voice drenched with venom.

"Touch Fay, or our children one more time I'll kill you myself. There will be no body Stu. Don't press your luck…"

…

I pulled up to my apartment complex, bone tired. I just wanted to crawl into my bed with my son and lay there for the rest of the day. I sat up straight, looking at myself in the rearview mirror cringing at what I saw. Deep circles wrapped around my eye sockets. They were bad before, now they're worse. I sighed, pushing my door open. Neck, back, and shoulders sore from laying on the couch the last two hours. The fact that Missus knew what Master was doing, made me feel a bit better…and the fact she was protecting me made me…realize I wasn't just a maid. I was part of her family as well. I walked up the few steps to our apartment.

B2.

When I pushed the door open, I heard the dryer going. Calen was sitting on the couch watching early morning cartoons. When he heard me enter the door, he got up and wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me tighter then he had ever hugged me before. He buried his face into my stomach and sighed in content. I wrapped my arms around him, having a smile plastered onto my face.

"What do you think about playing hookie today? We can go get ice cream later. Mommy needs a nap." The mention of ice cream brought his head up. His smile was wide, yet I felt like it was forced. When I looked where he was sitting, I saw a large stuffed dog sitting beside him. My brows knitted together in confusion…

 _I don't remember buying him one of those…it looks just like the one I had…_

I shook the thought clear.

"What do you think about cuddling with mommy?" I asked, Calen nodded his head fast.

"I was scared of the dark mommy…I know I'm a big boy, but since Sarah didn't show up I was all alone and scared." My heart broke for my poor son…I knew his fear and I knew it well.

I wrapped my arms around him tighter kissing the top of his head.

"Let's go take a nap Len." He was nodding faster than I could blink. He was already half way to the bedroom. I was on his tail, the moment I turned to my bedroom, Calen was already climbing on top of the matress on the floor. He pulled the blankets off, patting to the spot next to him. I gave a smile and climbed into bed next to him. I laid back, he pulled the covers over us and laid his head against my breast. His arm was around me his breathing was gentle, my hand rubbed his back softly. I was staring at the ceailing. The nightmare replaying in the back of my mind.

 _Why…why was I back there? I'm just as confused as that clown was…_ My hand stopped moving, Calen was watching me.

"Mommy, what's wrong? Did you get fired?" His voice was filled with worry. I gave a weak smile looking down at my son.

"No sweetie. Not at all. Just thinking." He tilted his head again.

"Do you ever miss daddy?" He asked. My skin grew cold.

"No Calen, I don't." I was rubbing his back again, trying to close my eyes.

Cotton candy hung in the air.

"Oh…I see…do you think I'll ever have another daddy?" He asked, I took in a deep breath letting it out slowly.

"I…I don't know." I replied, he was looking at me his head tilted.

"What if I wanted a daddy?" He asked, when I opened my eyes to look at him. There were tears within his eyes. My heart sunk.

"What's wrong Len?" I asked running my hand through his thick red hair. He closed his eyes.

"I always get picked on at school for not having one. They tell me he left because he didn't want me. That I was a mistake…" He was sniffling. My heart started breaking all over again.

"Oh Calen…" My voice went soft, I kissed his nose softly. He sniffled again.

"Aren't you lonely mommy?" He asked me. I gave a light smile touching his face.

"Sweet heart…I have you. You're all that I need. We don't need another man in our lives…I take care of you, love you, and protect you with all that I have." His green eyes looked at me, brighter than before.

"I don't like Leo's daddy, he tries hurting you…" Within his green eyes I saw anger.

"I'll protect you mommy. Bad dreams, bad men and daddy wannabe's!" The pride within his voice made me laugh.

"I love you sugar bear." I rubbed my nose against his, he laughed.

"I love you too mommy. I won't let anyone take you away, or hurt you again!" He wrapped his arms around my neck hugging me. Suffocating me.

I couldn't have been happier having him with me. His laughter filled my heart with joy. I couldn't have lived without my child…my beautiful son.

"Mommy sing me to sleep please?" His eyes bright stared up at me. I couldn't help but smile back down at him. I kissed his forehead.

"Alright, you just have to promise to go to sleep." He nodded, laying his head on my chest again. I rocked him side by side, softly humming.

My eyes looked from him, to the jack in the box, sitting on my dresser. The opening looking at me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Nightmare Revisited

Calen was asleep on my breast, happily snoring away. The Jack in the Box kept staring at me, making me feel uneasy. Laying my head back on the pillow. Cotton candy kept swirling around my room, wondering where the hell it was coming from. I took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Calen had a death grip on my arms so moving was out of the question. Sinking deeper into my mattress, the overwhelming sense of sleep made me sigh deeply.

 _At least the Missus gave me another full day off…_ eye lids bopping, I yawned. I closed my eyes for a moment, just a moment…

"Mommy!" Calen screamed.

I opened my eyes, sitting up.

Darkness, complete total darkness. My heart kept skipping beats. I couldn't catch my breath properly. Calen wasn't in my arms, I wasn't in bed.

 _Where the fuck am I?_ I was on my feet, in a second.

"Calen?!" I screamed, nightgown plastered to me. The sky cracked to life with lightening.

The towering monochromatic tent stood before me, looming in the distance. The scent of hay lingered in the air, darkness crackled to life around me. Laughter, children laughing. Hands pushing at my legs to make me walk forward. I looked down, little hands were on my gown bottom. The fingers looked as if they were chewed away. Tips of white bone played peekaboo. A scream was stuck in my throat…

 _Calen, I must find Calen._

I pushed away from the children and ran; the sky above opened and rain fell from the heavens. The lightening lit the area around me, I could see shadows of children crawling, dragging themselves across the cement ground. I could _hear_ them crying out for their mommy and daddy's. Begging me to go home, the rumble of thunder…

 _One Mississippi…_

 _Two Mississippi…_

 _Three Mississippi…_

 _Flash…_

A face was in front of me, stringy hair eyes missing with her mouth agape. Just by the facial structure I knew who it was.

"Sarah…?" I whispered. Her tongue was missing, arms raised up to touch me…nubs were where her hands would've been. The scream left my mouth, hands wrapped around my ankles pulling me down.

" _Mommy? I can't see, where are you?!"_ Calen's voice rang through the darkness.

I pushed myself away from the pawing hands and nubs, only to get pulled back down. There was nowhere left I could go, ghostly hands held me in place.

"Let me go! Calen!" I screamed. Smacking at the disgusting feeling of bone against my cheeks. The smell of death washed over me.

"Mommy I'm coming!" Calen screamed, the ghostly children parted. I was left lying on the ground sobbing. Gentle real hands touched my shoulders.

"Mommy…it's okay, I'm right here you can stop crying now." I looked up to Calen, my heart jumped in my throat. I grabbed him, holding him tightly.

"Calen, where are we?" I bubbled, Calen looked at me slightly confused at the question I asked. I kept looking at him, even he didn't know. I could tell within his eyes. My heart sunk deeper.

"Are we having the same nightmare…?" I whispered, I felt him nod. This was too creepy…too…too wrong.

 _How is this possible?_ I couldn't think straight.

"How do you know him mommy?" Calen asked. He was holding me, touching my face gently. I gave him a look. His fingers ran over my cheeks touching my tears.

"Know who Calen?" I asked. He tilted his head.

"The clown. How do you know the clown? How did you leave?" I opened my lips to speak, nothing came out. Lightning struck around us, my sons green eyes glowed within the darkness. His fear mimicked mine. He leaned in.

"Tell me how you did it. I want to leave." Calen whispered…

It didn't sound like Calen…it…

 _Not Calen. Danger. Danger…run!_

I pushed the body that held me away. The child's mouth opened into a smile, rotting teeth and gums exposed.

"You're the only one who ever outsmarted the clown!" On my feet, I ran. I was gone. Running into the darkness, bumping into shadows. In the darkness, I could hear the soft tune of _Pop Goes the Weasel_. Drawing closer, and closer to the annoying sound. I was drawn to the large tent. The only place, that seemed _safe_ that word…that one word I never heard of in this place.

The place children go to die…

The place Calen was taken too.

"Calen!" I cupped hands over my mouth, belting out the loudest scream I could muster.

Drums joined in with the chimes. Playful carnival music played from the tent. I stood out in the rain, shivering and cold. This place felt real enough, enough for me to fear for my child's life. Why was I here? How did I get dragged _back_ into this world of hell? Where there were no lights, only the smell of long dead bodies, sickly sweetness of cotton candy, fried food and the never-ending darkness. Filled with monochromatic things, empty cages and a tent that was larger than the world itself, dragging out and over you.

My eyes looked up, at the top of the tent. My hair stood up on my body, I started shivering. As the thunder rolled…I counted, just like I did as a child.

 _One Mississippi…_

 _Two Mississippi…_

Flash.

…

" _Oh, look Fay, it's a jack in the box! Do you want it?" My mother looked down at me, giving me a tired smile. I held onto her skirt bottom looking up at her, her hair tied back in a tight bun, green eyes glistening with pride. I looked at the old black and white box. It looked a little banged up. Something that I could fix. I gave my mother a nod._

" _Yes, please mommy." I replied. She gave me a bigger smile. She was tired, my mother was always tired. In ever understood why. Just like I never understood why I always had hand me downs from my sisters before me. Or why my backpack never looked new. But was hand stitched when it had a hole. Or why everyone else had colored television when we still only had a few channels…_

 _Why I was forced to work on the farm, unlike my sisters who managed to leave and go to college. Why I, was stuck working like a boy. Wake up early, go to work on the farm, then go to school smelling of manure. I didn't understand why, I couldn't take a shower before five p.m.…or why we had to cook outside all the time, even in the scorching heat._

 _I never understood why mommy was so tired._

 _Or why we were so poor…_

 _Or why she was buying me a stupid jack in the box that was beaten all to hell…but, I didn't question my mommy. I wanted the toy, so I can fix it up and make it look new. That's what I wanted to do. When my mommy turned to the antique shop owner, he looked a little confused._

" _Miss, I never put this on my shelf." The man looked at me, I blinked my eyes and he gave a smile. My mom was reaching into her purse, he raised his hand placing it over hers._

" _Don't worry about it, happy birthday little girl. It's yours. Now, treat it right. It's been around for hundreds of years." He gave a smile that made me tilt my head._

" _Hundreds of years?" I questioned. I wanted to call him a liar, I kept my mouth shut. The man gave a nod and smiled bigger than before._

" _If you play with the Jack in the box, and try really, really hard an imaginary friend will pop out and give you candy!" He was smiling, speaking to me like I was a child._

 _I wasn't a child, or a kid. I was ten years old, I was a big kid! But I kept silent and gave a slow nod. My mom had seemed to notice this._

" _Faylen isn't a child anymore Mr. Jordan. She's a big girl. Ten now aren't you sweet pea?" She looked at me. I nodded. The antique man gave another smile, a smaller one but he chuckled._

" _Oh, every child that had that always said they had an imaginary friend playing with them. I'm sure she will too." With that, I took the jack in the box and left._

 _Another thing I couldn't understand, was why men lie all the time…to get what they wanted. And why my mother was always the one getting the short end of the stick. At least that's what my elder sisters always said. I held the box close to my chest, slowly…I started to feel a bit better. A comfort that washed over me was surreal. I tilted my head, running my fingers over the worn black and white stripes._

Perhaps a coat of paint or two, would make you look prettier. _I thought. My fingers ran over it. The wood had a faint smell of cotton candy…such a sweet smell. I closed my eyes taking it in. The box was warm. Hugging it closer to my body, I giggled. I felt happy. I couldn't wait to play with my new toy…_

 _The walk home was a slow one, my mom having to stop every few blocks to cough._

" _Mommy, do you have the sickness?" I asked her, she gave me warm look placing her hand on the top of my head._

" _No sweetheart. I don't. Mommy is just fine." She sounded so tired…_

" _Mommy why do you lie?" I asked, she stopped on the long dirt road. Looking back at me. I stood there a few feet away from her, my head tilted to the side. The look of hurt within her eyes, made me regret saying what I said. But I wanted to know._

" _Why do you lie to everyone? About daddy not hurting us? About daddy just being away on travel when we leave to see his other family? Why do you lie to Nani about your job?" I couldn't help the questions flowing from my mouth. The sudden realization within my mother's eyes didn't make me stop._

" _Why do you bring strange men home mommy? Why? I don't understand why I can't have new things. I don't understand why I have to be ankle deep in cow shit, and working the fields." I walked to my mother, her eyes turned somber._

" _I don't understand." I repeated. Her hand reached down, touching my shoulder._

" _There's a lot your young mind doesn't understand, and that's okay. You'll learn when you grow up." She wasn't mad, just…tired._

" _Why are you tired all the time mommy?" I asked, she gave me another smile._

" _Because being an adult does that. You may not have new things, but you do have food in your stomach, clothes on your back and a roof over your head. Daddy hurts us, because he thinks that's a good way to show love. You and I know different. Mommy works with strange men to provide for you. Nani, doesn't need to know what I'm doing and worry. And…" She took a deep breath._

" _Mommy is sick…but she can't afford to go to the doctors." She knelt in front of me._

" _And daddy, doesn't love us. He doesn't love you the way I love you, or the way Nani loves us. Nani…Nani wants to help, but mommy is scared to get help. If she does…daddy might come back and hurt us even worse." The tears that shone in my mommy's eyes made me hurt. Hurt worse than anything daddy had ever done to me. I reached out and touched my mother's face. Her skin was cool, which surprised me. We had walked four miles to and from…and she was as cool as ice. Not a single drop of sweat._

" _Mommy, we need to get a doctor…you look really sick." She gave me another smile, kissing the top of my head._

" _What mommy has, no doctor can cure. Come on sweet pea. Let's get inside and get us some sweat tea. It's warm out here." She stood up, brushed her pants off and walked away from me. She didn't grab my hand like she normally did. She just, walked away from me. I ran to keep up. Swinging my only free arm. She was up the stairs and in the house, leaving the door open for me._

" _Wait mommy I can't keep up!" I screamed, I watched the door close behind her. When I got up the stairs, I reached for the door handle. It was locked._

What? We never keep the door locked. _Trying it again, I pushed harder. The door refused to budge._

" _Mommy! Open the door!" I screamed slamming against the wood. Placing my new toy down on the porch, I went to the window that was next to the door pushing it up. Lifting my leg up and over I could crawl inside. No lights were on, and my mother was silent. She wasn't in the kitchen. I got up off the floor, going to the door and unlocking it._

" _Mommy that's not funny, where are you?" I called out, silence followed within our house. I turned around, ignoring my new toy on the ground._

" _Mom!" I called._

 _Silence._

 _I looked at the main entrance hall, seeing nothing within the fading light. At the bottom of the staircase, I heard movement from the upstairs bathroom. I took the steps two at a time, nearly tripping on the last one. The wood underneath my feet cracked and crinkled. My stomach dropped within my gut, something wasn't right…something…_

 _I turned to the bathroom door, my mom kicked the stool out from underneath her feet, I screamed._

…

I opened my eyes, standing before me was the clown. His head tilting to the side, being a head shorter then him I had to look up at him. Through the foggy tears, I could see him face to face. The rain touched his skin and rolled off. His breathing was even. I clenched my hands into fists. The clown tilted his head again.

"Laughing Jack…the clown from the jack in the box…" I whispered, I watched his lips lift exposing his sharp teeth.

"You remember me Kit Kat?" He asked. Lifting my chin, squaring my shoulders.

"Why did you bring me back Jack?" I wasted no time, yet he laughed.

"I? Bring _you_ back? No, no toots, it wasn't me." He cackled again.

"I didn't bring you back to my carnival. Another red head did. Someone, who's just as lonely as you are." He gave another smile.

"He wants to join my carnival of souls…" He leaned down, the anger broiled.

"Leave Calen alone!" I screamed, his face was near mine. His fingers reached out, touching my cheeks.

"You've grown to be quite a woman, gummy bear." He cackled. I reached out, pushing him in the chest.

"Don't touch me! Leave my son alone!" I screamed, his smile faded to a frown.

"Now now…there's no need to be rude. I'm still playing with the little fella." He reached down, putting his hands in his pockets, leaning back slightly.

"I remember the first time you wound me up, and set me free Kit Kat." He grinned.

"Your mother had just offed herself." He cackled. My heart sunk.

"You ran out of your house, holding me close. Crying. Running down the road to the nearest neighbor's house. You were what…? Nine? Ten?" He closed his white eyes, still grinning.

"I've never been treated with such care." He looked at me again. I shivered.

"You held onto me for five years Kit Kat. Treated me so sweetly." He leaned up, his face growing stern.

"I've never seen a child take care of a _toy_ like that." He stepped close, my heart sunk further down. The look within his eyes, was of hunger.

"You have a beautiful son, with a radiant soul toots." He leaned forward to look me in the eye.

"I remember every night leaving you, your favorite candies. Stuffed animals…I made sure you were never alone…" His smirk came back.

"And that 'father' of yours, never touched you again after that night…did he?" His hand was reaching out to me. Touching my chin.

"You don't remember coming to my carnival as a child, do you?" He was watching me as carefully as I watched him. Standing within that cold night, gown stuck to me like a second layer of skin. I stared into his homicidal eyes. Terror crept up into my stomach, my mouth hung open. He was getting too close for my liking. I backed up, watching him.

"Where's my son?" I snapped. Jack straightened himself out, letting out his signature laugh.

"You've looked through my dead children. There is no Calen here my dear, just you and the others." He crossed his arms, staring at me.

 _I'm here by myself? What…that means…_

My eyes widened.

"You…you brought me back here…you brought me…back…why?! Why Jack?! WHY?!" I screamed pushing at his chest, sobbing. The terror long gone. He looked at me, taking the blows.

"Why shouldn't I play with my food before eating?" He cracked a grin.

"That's not funny! Leave me and my son alone!" I screamed again, landing another solid punch to his chest. His hand dwarfed my wrist. My face slammed into his chest, cotton candy assaulted my nose. My heart stilled.

…

" _Jack this is so cool!" I looked around gasping at the animals, the carnies laughing at the other children roaming around. He was silent by my side. His usual insane laughter was silent, and I was confused. I looked at him, holding onto a thing of cotton candy. My favorite._

" _Jack?" I stopped, he turned to look at me his pure white eyes were dead. For the first time, I had felt panic. Real, true panic. I took a step back, he crossed his arms staring at me. I stared back at him._

" _Jack…I don't like this…" He finally let out a sigh. I watched his lips part, tips of his sharp teeth poked between his lips._

" _I'm not sorry, for what I did to your dad." My heart came back to earth. I gave a light sigh, for a moment I had thought he was going to have to tell me I can't come back._

My thirteenth birthday is in a week…this place is only for kids…

 _I looked back at him, shaking lightly. He gave me a slight look._

" _I'm glad you put fear into him. I couldn't fight back…he was too big." I took a bite out of my candy, Jack finally gave his homicidal laughter. When I looked up at him, he looked down at me._

" _You're the first to take care of me, so…" He shrugged lightly._

" _Just returning the favor." He looked away, and to the tent._

" _Whatever you do Kit Kat, never go in there." The tone of his voice, made me look up._

" _The tent? Why not?" I asked, he looked back at me snarling._

" _Because then I will have to kill you, devour you and I promise you…I'd enjoy every bit of it child." The sharpness made me drop my candy. I looked at him, the carnival seemed to slow down. Music becoming an eerie baritone. Lights began to shut off, looking over my shoulders. The children that were laughing, became silent. They looked dead, sinking back into the shadows wondering back into the large tent._

" _This place isn't real Kit Kat." He looked at me._

" _Your time is almost up." He turned completely around. My heart sunk deep into my chest._

" _I kill and eat children toots." His smile grew wide, his laughter returned. My entire body shook with terror._

Who…what…? What's going on?!

 _I took a few steps back, my foot crunching on the cone of my cotton candy. Jack, tilted his head back and laughed from the bottom of his stomach._

" _I'm the king of his carnival…" He looked at me, eyes rolling around his head like marbles. Jack took a few steps forward, I turn and ran._

 _I ran like I had four years ago, when I watched my mom kill herself. For the exception, this time I didn't have my arms wrapped around a box, that had held my best friend._

…

I blinked a few times, trying to pull myself away from him. He held me tight, I could hear the running of his heart.

"Your son is safe, asleep in your bed."

I still fought against him, kicking and s creaming. Trying to pull myself away from him. Jack held tight.

"When that little boy picked me up, I felt the same thing in him, as I did you." He leaned down, cold skin against mine.

"I felt the deep pain, of someone so lonely they could die."

…

I screamed, sitting up in the bed. Breathing hard, Calen was beside me sitting up fast. His curled unruly hair in every which way. He was at my side holding me, petting my hair.

"Mommy, shush mommy…it's okay. It's just a bad dream." He sounded sleepy. I let out a short sob, wrapping my arms around him tightly. Taking a deep breath, smelling his children's soap. My heart, my chest felt like it was about to explode. He was softly humming to me, I kept looking around the room behind him. The Jack in the Box was gone from my dresser.

"Hush my sweet mommy, it's okay. Hush my sweet mommy." He sung to me. Closing my eyes I held him close to me.

"It's just a bad dream…" He comforted me.

The shakes fell away slowly at the gentle rocking, within Calen's arms.

"I got you mommy. I won't ever leave, I promise." He kissed my warm cheeks, and forehead.

"How about I go make you a cup of coffee how about that?" He asked, I gave him a weak shaky smile. I attempted to blink away the tears.

"Mommy…don't cry. It's okay. I promise, I'll protect you, even from the dreams." He attempted to karate chop at the air. It made me giggle, his cheeks flushed as he smiled.

"I'm going to get you a cup of coffee mommy. I'll be right back!" And off he went, jumping from the mattress. I rubbed at my face, turning to the nightstand I looked from the clock that read '10:30 Am' to the piece of candy by it. It was my other favorite hard candy. An orange cream hard candy, wrapped with tin foil. I blinked a few times, a familiar feeling crawled over me.

"What are you so afraid of?" I turned around, he was standing in the center of my room. Covered in shadows, the only thing I could see was his shark like smile. He walked from the room, to the front of my mattress. He was staring me down, my body trembled.

"What am I so afraid of?" I repeated the question, he nodded.

"Now…I feel like I'm afraid of everything…" I fidgeted with my fingers.

"You're still fidgeting I see." He leaned against my dresser. I looked from my fingers to him, unable to reply.

"What do you want from me…?" I whispered, Jack gave a slow smile.

"To torture you? Take your son away from you? To…relive painful memories? Who knows with a homicidal clown…" He started to cackle again, I closed my eyes. Covering my face, I cried.

 _I'm going insane. I'm officially going insane. Breaking from stress…from life…I'm just like my own mother._

"To make you cry? That's a new one. The toots I remember never cried. Never backed down from a fight…" He walked to my side of the bed. Jack knelt, tilting his head at a strange angle.

"Possibly…to make you feel like you're going crazy…it's another option…but what do I want from you?" He reached out, his hand touching my bare knee. My head lifted, staring at this monochrome clown. His cold hand squeezed lightly.

"Maybe, I don't even know." He stood, looking down at me cracking another smile.

"Try not to sleep, or I'll be seeing you tonight."

Like that, he was gone in a puff of black smoke. Calen walked back into our room juggling two mismatching coffee cups. I stared at where Jack used to be standing. My heart running a million miles an hour; Calen placed my cup on my stand, he stopped a moment.

"Mommy, did Jack come to see you?" He asked, I gave a light sigh before giving into the truth before me. I took the cup, leaning back I took a long drink.

"How do you feel about going to see Leo today?" I asked him, Calen drank his own small cup of coffee before squealing.

"PLEASE?!" He screamed, I gave a light smile.

"I'll give the Missus a call, and see if we can't arrange something." I leaned over kissing his forehead.

 _My son is going to live a normal life, even if I have to die for it._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four:

Love Me Like You Do

 _Cling_

 _Cling_

 _Cling_

 _Dink_

I stared down at the coffee, stirring the silver spoon around the dark liquid. My eyes grew heavy, I was tired…more tired than when I had started working for the Missus. I let out a long yawn, rubbing at my tired eyes.

"Fay, I told you to go home. You decide to come back to check on little Leo…" She was quiet for a moment. I looked up at her beautiful Korean face. Her eyes were the softest of brown, and her hair was the lightest of chestnut. I gave a weak smile running my hand through my hair. Her eyes darkened when she looked at me.

"How did you get those?" She asked, I turned to look at my arms. Bruises were starting to form in the shape of hands. I gave a light laugh.

"Oh, these? Calen and I rough house, and sometimes he doesn't know his strength." It was a _lie._ A _lie_ I was used to telling, even as a child. One, that even the Missus had a hard time believing.

"Faylen, don't bull me. I know Calen would never hurt you." She leaned forward.

"You've been really tired the last few nights. And I know you love my children as if they were your own…but, I don't think that's it…" She leaned back, rubbing her large belly.

"…Has Calen's father came back into the picture?" She asked, I lifted my head.

"No! Nothing like that…" My voice faded.

 _What am I going to tell her? That a homicidal clown decided to come back into my life? One I haven't seen in nine years?_

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"I promise Missus, it's nothing." I gave a soft smile, and she gave me another look.

"You can tell me…" She reached forward, touching my hand. Even if I had worked for the woman, she was motherlier then my own mother…

 _I shouldn't be saying that…may she rest in peace…_

I took her hand holding it tightly. She gave me another worrying look.

"Fay…I need the help, but you can't keep working like this if your health is in danger." She leaned forward again.

"I know how my husband looks at you, I've been trying to keep him away from you." She gave a reassuring smile.

"No, no Missus…it's not the Master at all. He I can deal with…the situation that's going on right now…" I bit my bottom lip, forcing back tears that threatened to fall.

"I'm even confused with the situation that's going on." I gave a light laugh. She gave a tilt to her head.

"You can just call me Myu. You don't have to keep calling me Missus. You've worked for me for the last six years. You were there for almost each of my children's births…more then what I can say for my husband. He just likes having someone worth more than him, on his shoulder." She mumbled something else under her breath before clearing her throat.

"I don't think I had a chance to thank you properly for the other night, and I would like to think you're much more than a maid. I consider you family, even the children love you." She gave a smile, a smile that made me relax a little more. I held her hand, giving a soft smile.

"I just…I guess Calen has been lonely lately…he asked me the other night about finding another 'daddy'." I sighed gently.

"I don't want to date Myu. I really don't. After that…that incident with his father, I'm pretty much done." Myu gave me a look.

"How old are you?" She asked.

"I'm twenty-five." I replied.

"You've been with us since Calen was what? Three?"

Giving her a look, unsure of where she was going.

"Myu I don't…" She raised her hand to silence me, and I followed through.

"You're young. You made one mistake with one man. Calen was not a mistake, but his father…get out there, work those dance floors. Leave Calen here for a few nights. Even the old hags love him. He's such a charmer." She was smiling, and I had to force one.

"I think you've earned a vacation Fay. I think…three weeks off, paid." She gave another smile, and I was trying to tell her no. I couldn't.

"Don't fight me on this. You and Calen needs it. He's getting lonely I can see it in his eyes, he misses his mommy. And I understand. It also gives the Master a reason to stay home and spend time with his children." Her voice was soft, understanding.

"But…" I started and she shook her head.

 _You don't understand, I don't want to be home…home is where he could get me…_

I sighed gently before nodding.

"That doesn't mean you can't come over and spend time with the kids. They're going to miss you like crazy. They've already asked why you weren't here today." She placed the tips of her fingers to her lips, giggling lightly.

"I swear, they sometimes call you Auntie Snow. I wish they would just call you Aunt Fay or something. They don't have to be professional all the time." She was so carefree…I leaned back into the chair, looking down at my now, cold coffee…my stomach was heavier then bricks. I could still hear his voice in the back of my head.

" _What are you so afraid of?"_

 _You…I'm afraid of you…_

I sighed softly, rubbing my face hard. Why couldn't anyone else understand? I wanted to be alone, I didn't want to have a man in my life, to ruin everything. I was perfectly happy, raising my son the way he should be raised. Being a single mother doesn't mean, I _need_ a man to raise my son the way he should be.

 _For someone who had a child at sixteen, I think I'm doing damn good…she's right though. Calen wasn't the mistake, he was…_

Involuntarily I shuddered just thinking about him…how stupid I was, believing he had a condom…just…three years earlier, I had lost the one thing that had cared about me.

 _Are you really thinking about that damn clown? You remember what he was going to do to you…he was going to kill you!_

Within the reflection of my coffee, a face stared back at me. White eyes, and a monochrome shirt. My heart leapt in my throat, for once it wasn't in fear. It was in surprise. Myu was still droning on about how I could find someone. Yet, I turned around to look behind me. He wasn't there. He wasn't standing near me…

 _That's it…my brain has officially checked out._

"Fay, you alright?" She asked, I gave a light laugh.

"I thought I heard one of the kids, that's all." I gave a soft smile, and Myu gave a tilt to her head. Even I knew, it would've been impossible to hear any of the children in the dinning wing of the mansion. They were outside playing. I sunk back into the dinning chair, sighing.

"Someone…may have come back…from my past." I mumbled, Myu sat up right. Holding her pregnant stomach.

"Oh?!" She seemed thrilled…even if I wasn't.

A small smile, played across my lips.

"Yeah…he was a dear friend of mine. For four years…I found him after my mother…" I stopped for a second.

"After my mother passed away. He would…give me my favorite candies…give me stuffed animals. Take me to carnivals…he…protected me from my abusive father. He just…appeared in my life one day. He tried to make things right, then…" I stopped.

…

" _Run toots! Run! Don't want me to feed you to the souls do ya?!" He screamed running after me, laughing. He reached out with his hands, ribbons wrapped around my ankle forcing me to fall. I hit the ground hard enough to knock the wind from my lungs. As I tried to take a breath, I was considering his face. He stood above me, there was no smile, no laughter. Just…emptiness within his eyes._

" _I shouldn't have let you live…" Kneeling, he stared into my eyes._

" _I haven't felt this way since…" He looked away shaking his head. When he reached out to touch me, I turned to the side biting at his hand. My teeth sunk deep into his fingers. Jack screamed in pain. Recoiling he struck me. Jack's sharp nails raked across my face. Warmth of blood stunned me into silence, he stared at his own hand, looking from the blood to myself he back away. I could've sworn I saw…_ regret _play across his eyes. The ribbons retracted, I stared at him in absolute terror._

" _Kit Kat…" He whispered._

" _I hate you…" I replied, breathing heavier._

" _I_ hate _you…" I was getting to my feet. The look of pain crossed his face, he was reaching out to me._

" _No…Faylen, listen I…"_

 _I didn't give him a chance to speak._

" _You're a monster! You're just like everyone else!" I screamed._

" _If you're going to kill me…just…just…" I was on my feet, staring at him._

" _Just_ DO _it! I want to die! Go ahead! I dare you Jack! Put your hands on me again! Put me out of my misery!" I screamed back, he was looking at me. The confusion that crossed the clown's eyes came as a surprise. The words that flew from my mouth wasn't._

" _I thought you were my friend! I thought you weren't going to use me like everyone else!" My voice cracked from yelling. I took a deep breath trying to speak, what came out was a sob of defeat._

" _Faylen…I'm…I…" He started speaking._

" _You wanted to kill me anyway…why were you waiting? I knew what you were going to do all along." When I looked at him, he was stepping back._

" _You…" He stepped up to me._

" _You fixed my box, you painted it. No matter how many times the paint faded you brought the colors back. You treated me like Isaac had once done…but better. He created me, he was treated just as poorly as you." He reached out, I flinched stepping back from him. Touching the bleeding cut upon my face._

" _I hate you…" I glaired at him._

" _Send me home…I'll donate the box to someone else…I'll make sure you get a better home…I never want to see you again!" I screamed._

…

"We had a really bad fight, lost communication and just…I forgot all about him till…a few days ago. He just decided to randomly pop back up. He went to my son…" The look Myu gave me I knew what she was going to ask.

"No, he's not a kiddie fondler…he just…he _loves_ kids." I wanted to laugh.

 _By_ loves _he loves to bring them to his carnival of death, gain their trust then torture them to death…_ I chewed my lip unsure of what else to say.

"He's not a…well…he's…"

 _How do you describe a homicidal clown?_

Myu seemed to get the hint and smiled lightly.

"You seem to like this fella." She replied, I sat upright I was about to say something when nothing came out. She giggled again.

"Looks like someone has a crush." I wanted to correct her, I wanted to tell her there was no way.

"I do _not_ like him like that. He…he was just a good friend." I slunk back into the chair.

"That's not what your eyes are saying." She leaned in, placing her chin in the palm of her hand.

"Are you _sure_ there are no feelings towards him?" She asked, raising her perfectly shaped brow. My mouth hung open for a moment, unsure of what to reply.

 _No…no! You don't like him. He hasn't been in your life in so long. He's a monster! He kills_ children _and yet you want him near Calen? NO!_ My brain was screaming, yet I stared deeply at my reflection.

" _What are you so scared of?"_

 _You…I'm scared of you…_

I sighed deeply, feeling worn to my bones rubbing my face hard.

"Why don't you leave Calen here for the night dear? Go home, get some rest." She was smiling placing her hand on mine again. I wanted to beg her not to let me leave, I wanted to tell her what had happened…but she wouldn't believe me.

 _No one would…but Calen. Calen had seen him face to face…he didn't seem afraid of him at all._ I moaned slightly.

 _What's going on with my life…? I had just started getting it back on track…_

I looked into her soft eyes, her smile was telling me everything I needed to know. I looked worse for wear.

"Just take time off, spend it with Calen. If I need you, I'll call you. Alright?" She gave a bright smile. What was I going to tell her? No? She was my boss…

"Fine…" I sighed.

 _I don't want too…but you could fire me…that's the last thing I need…_

I was getting to my feet, when he passed through the threshold.

"Oh…I didn't know you were here Ms. Snow." He stood straight, his jaw taught was seriousness. Within his cold gaze, I shrunk back into myself. Myu looked at him dead on.

"I gave Fay a few weeks off. She deserves it. At full pay." The Master didn't seem to like that. He grunted lightly before crossing his large arms. His eyes stared me down.

"And the brat?" He snapped. I clenched my fists.

"What did you call my son…?" I snapped. He cracked a grin.

"A brat." He repeated.

I stepped right up to him, not giving Myu a chance to say anything.

"Take it back. Now." I ordered. He was laughing at me, at my son.

"Take what back? That your son is a brat? A bastard?"

I saw red, I couldn't breathe. He was laughing at the bottom of his stomach, I attacked. Striking him in the jaw. Myu didn't say anything, or do anything. The Master stood there rubbing his jaw, looking at me. I stood there in stunned silence. My knuckles were throbbing while a small line of blood fell down his lip. His breathing was even, he was silent. He turned from Myu and I, not saying a word.

"Well, at least you stood up for yourself. He's going to be pissed for a bit. But he'll get over it. I'll just make sure when you work, he won't be here." I turned to Myu who had a smile on her lips.

"I…I'm sorry. I…I…" She raised her hand.

"Don't worry Fay. Go home, rest. I'll take care of Calen for the night. You need the sleep…and when you get a chance, why don't you call this 'friend' of yours. Settle things, and possibly…start something new and fresh?" I gave her a look, as if she had three heads.

 _Yeah…make up…I'm not going to be sleeping any time soon…_

I stood to take my leave, one of the older maids showed me out. Calen and Leo ran around the large lake. I turned to look at him, Calen's smile was big and bright. He was laughing away with Leo who seemed to be feeling much better. I couldn't help but notice how close he was to the lakes edge.

"Calen!" I shouted, he stopped and looked at me waving.

"You're too close to the edge!" I shouted, he replied with a 'Yes mom!' and off he was again, running.

 _I swear that boy worries me more than myself sometimes…_

…

I kicked my shoes off at the entrance way again. It had been nine long years since I had the apartment to myself. It was oddly silent without the sound of Calen playing with his toys, or the television running. I felt…lonely…

I reached up touching the deep scar that was across my face. I had forgotten it was ever there, for the longest time that scar had become me. What I was, and whom I was. I forced those memories to the back of my mind for the longest time. I closed my eyes, feeling the darkness surround me. Cotton candy swirled around me.

"Oh, no you don't…" I snapped. Stepping away from the darkness. I wasn't allowing myself to be sucked into that darkness again.

"You're not controlling my life Jack…you're nothing more than a boogey man, trying to scare me…and it's not working." I snapped into the empty apartment.

 _I'm not allowing him back into my life!_ I screamed at myself.

I went right to the fridge, looking in the bottom portion…nothing had seemed to fit what I had wanted…I opened the freezer. There was the ice cream…

 _That doesn't sound too bad right now…_

I reached into the freezer, I grabbed my orange cream ice cream. With the second thought, I reached into the fridge and pulled out the merlot.

 _Why the fuck not?_ I kicked the fridge closed.

I walked into our small living area, flopping down I turned on the television. I went through several channels before finding American Horror Story on. I nodded. I opened the ice cream up, softly cursing. I had forgotten the spoon…

When I went to get up, I turned to the left seeing a small spoon…sitting right on…the…

"Oh, come on…I just put it there and forgot it. I haven't slept right in a few days. It's no surprise…" I snapped at myself…though…within my voice, I didn't sound too sure myself. I shook it off, grabbing the spoon I pulled my knees up and started eating, watching my favorite episode.

"So, you're not even going to acknowledge me toots?" I choked on a spoon full of orange ice cream. I had gotten so into the television I hadn't noticed him sitting next to me. I dropped the ice cream, pulled the spoon out of my mouth and pointed it at him.

"Get the fuck out of here Jack. This is my home, my son…you don't belong here!" I shouted. His face was forlorn looking emptily into the television screen, his eyes went to the spoon in my hand. He cracked a grin.

"What are you going to do? Spoon me to death?" He chuckled. I ignored his attempt at humor he dropped the façade and became serious once more.

"I said the same thing. You didn't belong at my carnival. And I was right." He looked back at me, those white eyes made me freeze in my steps.

"Do you even know why I scared you away? Made you hate me?" He was getting up.

"D…Don't come near me Jack…I'm…I'm not kidding. I'll scream!" I snapped, he chuckled lightly.

"You'll scream? So, all of what, three neighbors on this floor would hear you? Those drug addicts? They don't care!" He lifted his arms, as if to show me we were alone. I shivered slightly.

 _Being alone with a monster._

"Zalgo…I really did do a number on your face, didn't I?" He was getting closer to me, and I was stepping further away. Jack gave a sigh, his sharp white teeth vibrant against his black lips.

"I swear, I'm not going to hurt you Kit Kat." Was that…tenderness I heard within his voice?

"You were hurting all those years ago, I can feel it in Calen too. He's just like you. Hurting, wanting, needing to be understood." He was a few feet away from me, I couldn't believe was standing here in front of me…

"Do you remember that night? That night your father came into your room?" He was getting closer…

"Yeah…he was coming at me with an electrical cord…" Jack was nodding again.

"Isaac was severely abused by his mother…he made me. He _created_ me." His hands were reaching out, touching my shoulders.

"Faylen. Look at me." I kept my eyes closed, I didn't want to look at him. It hurt…it hurt so much to see him again.

"You made me hate you Jack…you made me despise you…I forced myself to…to forget you." His hands squeezed.

"Do you ever question _why_ I did that to you?" He asked, I shook my head.

"Look at me…please…" He begged. I didn't want too…I didn't want too…

 _No…don't listen. He's just going to drag you back into that hell…then you're going to walk into that tent…and he's going to kill you…_

"No. I can't…" I replied.

"Do you hate me so?" He asked.

 _Do I?_ I questioned myself.

He ran his hands down my shoulders, to my wrists. He held them tightly.

"I remember, when you found out you were pregnant with Calen…everyone left you. Your father, your boyfriend at the time…and your stepmother. Even Nani…" My eyes opened, I slowly looked at him. He was looking at my wrists.

"You were standing there, in that empty home. Going through each room, I felt that loneness that I had felt when Isaac left me. I had felt connected to you on a much deeper level then I ever had with any other child. Oh, believe me. I wanted to kill you, I was going too…but…" He closed his eyes, tilted his head slightly.

"There was just something…something that bugged me about you. So, I watched. I watched you go into your room…everything was gone, but me. I was in your closet. Fading away…you wanted me, you wanted to see if I was real…then you touched your face…and I saw that hatred in you…I heard you say, you would've rather die than have a monster around…and you tried. You tried killing yourself. But I stopped you. Do you remember that?" He asked, I froze.

 _The bandages…the day I had met Myu…_

…

 _Empty. The house was empty. They were gone. Father, Stepmother, and my half-sisters…all gone. The large house was as vacant as my mother old home. I touched my stomach…unsure of what I should do. I had no one to go too…everyone left me…even my Nani. I was left to find myself. I traveled up the long staircase, to the third floor…which was pretty much the attic area. My room. My world crashed around me, nothing…not even a mattress was left to my name. They had taken everything of value from my bedroom._

Are you sure about everything?

 _I went right to my closet, where I had put him. I swung the doors open, and I was right. The black and white box sat up on the top shelf. I reached out to touch it._

Stop! _I screamed at myself…I did. Retracting my hands, I brought my left hand to my cheek. The deep indentation of a scar remained. I stared at the box._

" _I hate you...I hate you so much Jack…" Slamming the doors shut, I turned around. Touching my stomach, I took a deep breath._

I can't allow my child to live in this world…I can't…

 _I walked to the small bathroom that was in the nook of the room. I opened the medicine cabinet. I was surprised to see, that they hadn't taken_ everything _from me. I grabbed my package of razor blades. I shook the box, hearing one rattle._

" _Good, one left. All I need is one." Opening the box, I held my palm flat out. Cool metal fell onto the palm of my hand. Tossing the box to the side I sat down in the center of the vacant room. Staring at the closet door, I pondered._

I wonder if this is what he had wanted all along. To watch me die, suffering…alone…

 _The blade was cool in between my fingers. On my left arm, it started as one. It didn't hurt. The numbness was too much. So, I moved down. I did it again and again, over and over. My arm, had looked like I been through a rose bush. I switched hands. Being a lefty, my right arm looked a bit more butchered up. The slices went deeper then I had thought. I started to feel woozy. Spots lined my vision, hands covered in my own blood…within the metallic copper I could smell fresh cotton candy, and sweets. I tried shaking my head, but I couldn't see._

Can't regret anything now…it's too late…I wonder how long it'll take for someone to find my decomposing corpse up here?

 _The razor collapsed to the hardwood. I couldn't hear it…it sounded muffled. I just, wanted to lie down…as I started collapsing, arms picked me up. I could smell him, sickly sweet with the underlying smell of death._

" _You're not going to die. Not today toots." Determined, he was wrapping my wrists to my elbows up. Both arms._

" _No one has treated me like you have. No one except Isaac…before he went insane and started killing whores. I'm not allowing you to do the same."_

 _I tried opening my eyes, I saw him. He was angry with me. Spitting out curses I never heard him say before. Yet he worked with haste at my arms._

" _That should do it…" I cried out when he tightened the bandages._

" _Someone will find you, I'll make sure of it Kit Kat…" He touched the top of my head, before leaning down placing a kiss to my forehead._

 _I wanted to reach out to him, but I couldn't. He was already gone in a puff of black smoke._

 _I sat in the middle of my old bedroom, confused…hurt, sick…unsure of what had just happened. And why, a homicidal clown had just saved my life._

…

"Yes, I remember…" I replied, his hands were at my face. His crazed white eyes stared down at me, his fingers caressed the scar against my face.

"I didn't want you around because of how I am. I kill children, I consume their souls. You're right. I'm a monster, and I fell in love with a broken angel. The worse decision of my immortal life. And you know what, frankly I don't give a damn who believes me. But a monster can care, a monster can even…" He stopped, sighing he pulled away. I kept looking at him, my heart racing a million miles an hour.

"Jack…?" My voice cracked.

"I'm a homicidal clown who kills children for Christ sakes, this isn't some romance novel!" He screamed, I was shocked staring at him.

"I was coming back to kill Calen. But there was something in him that reminded me of you, and here I am. I found you again. For the third time in your life, all because of your little boy." He screamed again.

"Do you have any idea how frustrating it is? Do you even know what was happening behind closed doors here?!" He turned facing me. His chest rising and falling in anger.

"Sarah, your babysitter? The one I happily took in place of Calen? She was raping your son."

I was numb. Numb from the top of my head all the way down to the tips of my toes.

"What…what did you say?" I whispered.

"She was raping your son. Molesting him." He closed the distance between us.

"Just like your father did to you. It's why I couldn't take him…he was…he was hurting just as bad as you, and needed a real friend." He placed his hands on my shoulders, my throat closed. I looked at Jack, my mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out.

"I know what you're thinking. Yes…I made it hurt. I made her feel, Every. Little. Thing."

I nodded unsure of what to do next. I stepped up, wrapping my arms around his waist. My head laid against his chest. I could smell the death lingering on his clothes. The feathers on his shirt tickled my nose. But I held him, I hugged him hard. He stood there for a moment unsure of what to do. But I just wanted to hold him, hug him…never let him go. His arms came back down, and he held me tighter than he ever had before. I felt every broken piece of me come back into place.

"The fight in your eyes…that's what brought me back toots. It's the fight you had within you. Look at where you are now." He whispered on the top of my head. His breath was warm, and I felt as if I was home. He was careful with the sharp points of his nails as he rubbed my back. When I looked up at him, the realization slapped me in the face. Those dark lips, his white eyes…I reached up to gently touch his face. His skin was warm. He felt…

 _Real…_

"Kit Kat…do you know how long I've wanted to come back? To save your poor soul?" I closed my eyes, a smile played across my lips. His hand rested on my face, his thumb rubbing my cheek.

"I never meant to hurt you…I was just scared. Scared of getting attached to someone else…" When I looked at him, he was leaning close. I took in a sharp breath.

 _What-?_

His lips captured mine, my eyes were wide, my heart screaming. Running a million miles an hour. Stomach turning to water, knees into jelly. My eyes drifted close as I returned the kiss. My arms snaked their way around his neck. I crushed my chest against his, standing on my tip toes. He held me close to his hard body. I couldn't believe what I was feeling, how I was feeling.

 _No! No! No! Wrong! Wrong! So wrong!_ I felt my lips move into a smile against his.

 _So, so right…perfectly right…_

He broke the kiss looking down at me.

"Maybe they're still some laughter left in me…" He bent over capturing my lips once again. His arms wrapped around my lower back, holding me close. His own heart rammed against my chest, when he pulled away he kept looking down at my face.

"Your face is all red. Why?" He asked. I bit my bottom lip and gave off a soft giggle. His own lips went up into a smile. Sharp teeth exposed, I tilted my head in wonder.

 _How did I not feel them?_

 _Idiot you kissed him, not like you frenched him._ Again, I giggled.

"What? What's so funny?" He laughed back.

I looked at him, and I laughed even harder than before. Either I had lost my mind, or I finally had admitted to…to falling in love with a supernatural being. I laid my head back against his chest, laughing heartily. Unsure of how my brain was coping; my heart on the other hand was running a million miles an hour being the happiest I had ever been before…other than Calen being born. This was a close second. I kept my head at his chest, taking in a deep breath.

"Is this real?" I asked.

"I feel like I'm not thinking right…" I murmured.

"I can help you with that." Placing his finger underneath my chin, I was forced to look up at him. He gave me another cheeky grin before sending me into ecstasy with another long, beautiful kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five:

Sweet Dreams

I was surprised when mommy had left me at Mrs. Myu's house to spend the night with Leo. He was feeling a lot better, and running around with me outside. I wanted to say goodbye to mommy, but Leo kept asking me to come by the water. Even when he heard my mom say to stay away from the water. I couldn't help but follow Leo.

"Leo, you know I can't swim that good!" I shouted, the young boy looked at me. His eyes were still a little glossy from the fever he had, but overall, he seemed back to normal. He looked just like Mrs. Myu. Very pretty for a boy. Its why he had gotten teased a lot in school. He was sitting by the lake, poking at the mud with a stick. He was watching the water ripple, looking as if he was in his own little world. When I knelt by him, his eyes shifted up and looked at me.

"I have a new game if you want to play with me." He was standing, looking at the mansions living room window. When I looked up I saw his dad, Stu standing at the window. He had dried blood on his face with a fat swollen lip. I couldn't help but wonder who gave that to him. Leo looked back at me, a sudden feeling in my stomach told me to step back. And I did.

"Boys! Come in for dinner!" One of the maids shouted. I watched Leo look back at his father who had a look of disappointment, I kept walking away from Leo. He started shivering while looking at his father. I always knew his father had a hold on him…but…

 _What was he thinking about doing to me…?_ I took a deep breath, running back to the main house. I didn't want to be around Leo anymore. I didn't want to be around Stu anymore…I wanted my mom. I wanted to go home…I wanted…I wanted Jack. I didn't want fake friends, I wanted a real one. I swung my arms, I was hitting a sprint through the door. I couldn't breathe. And I couldn't wait to fall asleep that night to go back to the carnival…to see Jack.

 _Maybe I can talk to him about being with mommy! That would make her so happy!_

The excitement bubbled in my stomach, I made a sharp turn into the dining wing. Mrs. Myu was standing at the counter washing two coffee cups.

"Mum!" I shouted running up to her, my arms wrapped around her hugging her tightly. She gasped with a small laugh.

"Len sweetie, why hello." She turned around, wrapping her arms around me. I felt her large belly press against my face. I looked up at her and gave her a large smile. Her own smile brightened.

"Did you have fun playing with Leo dear?" She asked rubbing my head gently. I made a face.

"I think Stu is going to make Leo do something to me. I don't feel safe." The words came out so fast, I couldn't stop them. She in turn made a face as well.

"Are you sure?" She asked, and I nodded fast. My curls bouncing around my face. She placed her hand on my back rubbing gently.

"I'll talk to them when dinner is over. And don't you worry love, Stu isn't dining with us tonight." She poked my nose gently, I couldn't help but smile.

"What happened to his face?" I asked, she in turn gave a large smile.

"Your mother gave him a piece of her mind." She kissed the top of my head, I smiled.

 _I knew it, mom's a super hero!_

I had a cheeky grin on my face.

"Mommy's going to have a new boyfriend soon Mum." I said, she raised a brow and smiled brightly.

"I knew she was keeping something from me." She giggled. I shook my head slowly.

"She doesn't know it. But Jack and I have had long conversations. He misses her. He wished he didn't fight with her when she was younger." I looked up at her, the look on her face changed.

"Mommy and Jack met after grandma killed herself." I rocked on my heels.

"Sometimes I worry that mommy is sick like that…" I sighed softly.

"I've seen her scars…it's worries me." I couldn't stop myself. Myu's face remained emotionless.

"How'd you know about this Calen?" She asked me, I looked up at her with a tilt to my head.

"Jack found her. Then you found her…" I gave a shrug.

"He told me." I replied. Her face went white.

"How…? You weren't born yet…" I saw the confusion on her face. I grabbed a chair and pulled it out for her. She sat down. I went to the coffee pot, I pressed a button and fresh brewed coffee started to percolate.

"I know a lot about mommy that she hasn't told me." I turned around to look at Myu.

"Then how do you know? This Jack, he told you everything?" She asked me, and I nodded.

"It's what worries me the most. I've seen how she cries at night sometimes. There are times she's so tired she can't get out of bed…" I looked to the floor.

"When she takes a shower, I get worried the most. I go in there, sit on the toilet just to talk to her. To make sure she doesn't do anything…Jack told me, her mother had a sickness doctors couldn't cure. It's depression…isn't it?" I asked, her eyes shone with tears.

"Len…" She whispered.

"I might be a child…but I'm not stupid…" I sighed.

"I love my mommy…and I promised I'd protect her. Bogymen, bad dreams…and Stu." I looked up at her.

"If he lays a hand on my mom, you, or my brothers again…I'll kill him." I turned made up her cup of coffee and handed it to her. Her hands were shaking.

"He's a bad man Mum…you need to get rid of him. He's planning something, I can tell. I don't like it." I curled my nose.

"Mommy doesn't know it…but Jack's been keeping an eye on her for a long time. She was the only one to ever care about him. To buy him things even though he wasn't allowed to accept it…so, every night he would come to her to check on her. He lied to mommy, telling her he hasn't been around. That it was me, who showed him where mommy was." I couldn't help but smile.

"He's a good man. Jack? He protected me from Sarah." I lifted my chin, giving another big smile. I grew worried from the silence radiating from Myu.

"This Jack…what does he do?" She asked, sipping at her coffee. Her eyes lit up in surprise.

"Calen, this is amazing. How long have you been making coffee?" She asked, I couldn't help but beam at her.

"Since I was four, when I was able to reach it. Mommy yelled at me, told me I could really hurt myself…but when she wasn't looking I'd make her cups of coffee. Now, she just accepts it and smothers me with kisses." I smiled more.

"Mommy loves to sing to me. She's good! I tried telling her she should join a band or something, but she waves me off." I watched Myu smile brightly.

"She is an amazing singer. I think she sings when she's sad, or misses you. Which is a lot." She finished her coffee placing it on the table.

"Calen…I asked…but…what does Jack do?" She asked, I lost my smile for a moment.

"He doesn't stalk mommy, he just cares. He's watched her lose everything, and then get it back. He…he told me I was a blessing in disguise. Whatever that means." She placed her hand on my head ruffling my hair. One of the older maids walked in with a tray of food. It was an assortment of salads, with baked chicken in the center. I looked over at the older maid and she smiled at me. A soft smile.

"Did you really find mommy?" I asked, Myu's voice was soft.

"Yes, I did…when she was pregnant with you. I gave her new clothes, food, and a home. Paid her rent, her hospital bills…" She looked at me, her eyes soft.

"She was a daughter I've never had. After you, I got pregnant with Leo. Then Victor, Ian, Baby, and now this little one." She patted her stomach. I couldn't help myself. I walked up, knelt and placed my ear to her tummy. I closed my eyes and I listened. The baby moved, and I felt it kick at my ear. I looked up at her.

"She's going to be healthy. I promise." I gave her a bright smile.

"How do you know it's a girl?" She questioned. I gave a light laugh.

"There's a fifty fifty chance, right?" I asked, and she laughed with me.

…

My head was against Jack's shoulder, feathers tickling my cheeks. Eyes growing heavy, I yawned. His hand rubbed at my arm. I was heavy against him, I knew I was yet he didn't complain. He was watching me as my eyes fluttered.

"Why don't you go to sleep? I have a surprise for you." Gently he laid me down on the couch. He pulled the afghan from the top down on me. I looked at him, drifting. My eyes were burning. I wanted to sleep, but I wanted to see him…I didn't want him to go.

"I'll be waiting for you toots." He gave me a smile, and I smiled back. I closed my eyes, letting myself drift. It wasn't long before I was being pulled under by little hands. Instead of falling, I drifted. Drifted deeper into the welcoming darkness. I felt like I was flying through a night sky. Stars surrounded me as I fell. The night sky was beautiful, a bright moon…shooting stars. I wanted to stay in the sky forever.

Yet, I landed softly on the ground. The lights were on in the carnival, the Ferris wheel moved slowly, a roller coaster coasted along the tracks. Food was being made, animals roamed their pens. I turned around, shocked by the surrounding beauty. For the exception…of the tent.

The tent still loomed in the darkest part of the carnival. I couldn't help but wonder what was behind those flaps.

 _Could that be where he lives? Where he takes the children to…_

I shivered, I didn't want to think about that…I didn't want to bring the thought of Calen being slaughtered to mind. I did my best to look away from the elephant in the room. I went back to looking at the world around me. Children, seemingly alive children laughed and played with the games, some even going over to a few rides, asking for candy, or some sort of food.

I felt comfortable…a little…uneasy, but comfortable at the same time…

A hand landed on my shoulder, a smile played across my lips. I lifted my hand and touched his. He squeezed gently as he stepped up to my side. Children squealed with laughter at the sight of the clown. Some stopped to thank him, some continued. A little unnerved by the look of him. I looked up at him, his face was cracked into a smile watching all the children running around his carnival.

"It's nice to have you back." He pulled me close for a side hug.

I kept looking around the carnival, nothing seemed off…nothing seemed evil. Even the smell of death no longer lingered within the air…it was a little stale, but nothing…nothing…

 _Bad…just, the regular smells of a carnival._

"What do you want to do first Kit Kat?" He asked, I gave him a look.

"Wh-what?" I stuttered.

"What do you want to do first? There's the Ferris wheel. The roller coaster, we can go play games. See the lions and tigers? Are you hungry? I'm sure that ice cream didn't fill you up." He looked down at me.

"You're a lot skinnier now than when you were a teenager." I winced. I didn't know whether or not that was a insult or a compliment.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" I pulled away wrapping my arms around myself. He tilted his head slightly.

"It was an observation." He looked away, his smiled faltered slightly.

"I'm sorry toots, I didn't mean to offend you." He rubbed the back of his head.

"Not good with women…never had one in my world like this. I'm used to y'know. Butchering children who deserve it." He looked away, embarrassed. My face softened. I took his hand.

"Let's get something to eat Jack." He looked down at our hands, he interlocked our fingers.

"I like this…your skin is so warm…" His voice trembled. I looked up at him, he was looking away from me. Leading me, I followed with ease. The children looked up at him in wonderment, and looked at me in surprise. Leaning a little heavier against Jack, he stopped near a fried pickle stand. My eyes wondered over to him.

"How…?" I whispered. He gave a slight smile.

"Think I would forget? You love fried pickles." His fingers rubbed my arm, I reached out to grab one on a plate. It smelt amazing. I leaned in taking a big bite. The fried goodness made me moan. I hadn't had a fried pickle since I was a little girl.

 _The last time I was here…and my god, it still tastes fantastic._

Jack looked at me with a smile. A smile that would make people freeze, but made me smile back. Grease dripped down my lips and chin. He laughed, using a napkin he wiped at my face. I knew I looked like a child. I chewed and swallowed. It took me a minute, maybe two to finish my pickle.

"Want something else toots? You name it, I got it." He had a cheeky grin. My cheeks flushed slightly.

"How about some games?" I asked, he gave a nod. Leading me over to my favorite game, the one with the gun and shooting the targets. I was nervous, not having played this in so long. He allowed me to walk in front of him. I picked up the pellet gun, taking a deep breath, I brought it up putting it in the crook of my shoulder. Taking careful aim, I squeezed the trigger. It had some recoil but not much. The pellets shot from the barrel fast enough to surprise me.

Sixty seconds was up, the paper came back. I wasn't surprised to see I had basically completely missed the target. Jack was laughing. He reached over the counter, he grabbed a stuffed cat handing it to me. I looked at it, then to him giving a soft smile. I took the stuffed cat and rubbed my face into it. It felt so real…

"I've been talking to Calen a lot lately." I looked up at him from the cat.

"You've been what…?" I whispered. Jack leaned against the game looking me over.

"I've been talking to Calen a lot." He repeated himself. I swallowed.

"About what?" I asked, Jack gave a light shrug.

"Well…he talks to me more then I talk to him. And a little bit of everything really. A little bit of this, a little bit of that…mostly about how he would love a family." He gave me a look, and I felt my entire body flush.

"A family?" I mumbled, and Jack replied with a nod.

"Yeah, he's been really lonely. You work all the time and the kids teasing him a lot…I felt bad for the poor kid…" He looked away from me slightly.

"Jack, look at me please." He didn't hesitate. His eyes went right back to me. I held the stuffed animal close to me.

"He thought you might have 'the sickness.'" He sat upright, taking my hand leading me again.

"Come on toots, let's get on the Ferris wheel." I followed, unsure of how to respond.

 _I haven't said anything about my mother, only that she passed away…how would he know about her 'sickness'?_ I chewed on my bottom lip.

Jack watched the Ferris wheel stop, he opened it up. He went in and I followed, he held out his hand and I took it. Sitting me down, he brought the bar down to keep us in. His arm wrapped around my shoulders pulling me close to his body. The ride moved carrying us up into the sky. I watched the lights underneath me dim enough to allow the stars to light up the night sky.

"It's so beautiful here…" I whispered, Jack gave me a glance.

"Not as beautiful as you." He replied. My heart stopped, I turned to look at him his façade dropped. The evil child killing clown looked at me.

"I talk to him…" He whispered. Giving him another look, my cheeks flushed.

"I talk to him a lot." He closed his white eyes, a moment passed before he looked at me again.

"This entire world Fay…is a broken promise…" He turned to look at the sky, I followed.

"It's almost time for you to wake up." His voice dropped an octave. I wanted to reach out to him, hold onto his shirt and beg him not to allow me to wake up.

"I don't want to leave Jack!" I cried out, he gave me a slow smile. His sharp teeth glimmering in the moonlight.

We stopped at the top, his eyes flowed over my face. I saw myself reflected within those milky hues of his eyes. Within the gray cataracts I could see a hint of blue, he once wasn't monochromatic…he once was a real clown, with bright colors…yet now, he reflected how I felt all the time. And I could see, how tired my eyes looked within his eyes, how pale my skin was…my lips, swollen from our last kiss. My hair was a frizzy mess, poking out in different places. Yet his eyes only looked at me, he only…saw…me. His nails dug into my biceps. I didn't cry out, I just held onto his chest.

"Once you wake up, Calen will be here. I must spend time with him as well toots." He touched my cheeks.

"For the time being, enjoy the moon with me." He looked away from my gaze. I followed his own. The moon was full, beating down on us. The carnival begun to shut down underneath our feet. I was laying against his shoulder. His arm rested over my shoulders once again, he turned to look at me. He leaned in, placing his head against mine.

"I've longed to have you back with me…" He whispered.

"You've no idea how long I've waited for you Faylen…how long I craved your care…" He was pushing against me, his breath hot against my skin. I turned to look at Jack, his eyes were watching me. He pulled me close to his warm body, I was stuck against him. And I had no reason to move, nor did I want too.

"Jack…I…" My voice failed to leave my lips.

His arms wrapped around my lower back, he leaned forward crushing his lips with mine. Fire. Real fire engulfed my body, shooting up to my face. This had felt just as real, as the kiss in my living room. He held me close enough to where my breasts were crushed against his chest. His heart rolled against my thin blouse. His tongue licked my swollen lips in earnest. I fell against the seat hands running through his black chin length hair. I smiled, Jack smiled back against my own lips. I laughed, he laughed with me.

"I look a mess…" I whispered, he chuckled.

"You look perfect." He kissed me again, deeper than before. My back arched against him, his hands were placed beside me holding himself up.

When he broke away, I looked up at him. For the first time in my entire life, within once empty eyes I saw tears. Pure innocent tears…

"It's time to wake up toots…I'll see you soon, I promise." As I kissed his pointed nose, my eyes closed.

Everything swirled around me, disappearing in darkness…

…

She was too light in my arms, I walked from the couch to the bedroom. Gently laying her down on the mattress. I took the blanket and tucked her in. Her moan made me stop. I looked at her, taking a deep breath in, slowly out. I smiled. She was still in the deep darkness. Returning would take a minute or two. I looked at her swollen lips, the smile against them. It had felt nice to finally see one on her face…after so many years of watching her cry at night.

 _I need to hunt…I can't be around Calen for too long…I might get…_ urges _…_ shaking my head I pulled away from Faylen. Her shoulders moving slowly. I backed up, closing her door slowly. The apartment was silent. Not a single sound. I turned looking at the couch. Afghan on the floor, a place where I was sitting. The place wasn't a mess it…it was…

 _Lived in._ I gave a nod. I went to the entrance way, I looked myself in the mirror.

My eyes weren't dead any longer. They held some emotions within them, lined with tears. Reaching up I ran my fingers over my skin. It felt _real_ what I had felt to Faylen wasn't fake. They were real…

 _So are the hunger pangs…if you want to keep her around, you must find another child…Sarah was just barely cutting it…_ I closed my eyes, frustration, anger…pure anger rang through me.

 _Sarah, Sarah, Sarah…how dare you treat my little Calen that way?_ When I opened my eyes, I saw the monster I was. And always will be. Staring back at me was dead white eyes, an empty smile with razor blade teeth. Raising my hand, I still saw the claws that tore through her soft flesh…ripping her tongue right from her mouth. My clothing had long since been stained red from the children that haunt my carnival…

"I'm a monster, not a lover, not a father, not a care taker…I came here for the child…I'm taking the child." The words were monotone, and held no meaning. As I said them my stomach had turned to knots.

 _What?! This is…no! I can't! I came for Calen…_ I stared at myself.

 _Calen…sweet little Calen…a spitting image of your mother…you love her so…_

"Like I do…" I whispered out. Emotions flowed through my rusted veins. I leaned forward placing my forehead against the mirror. Hitting my forehead against the glass. I wanted my smash my face against it, at how stupid I was…I knew this was dangerous…I knew I shouldn't have gotten attached. I knew I shouldn't have followed her…

"Is this still worth fighting for…?" I whispered.

"Yes Jack, it is." The sound of her soft voice made me jump. I looked at Faylen standing before me. Her hair in every which way. I tried, I tried so hard to let the emotions leave…yet those green eyes staring up at me…made me feel…so…

"We are worth fighting for…Calen and I…" She was walking up to me, I watched her hips roll. Her blouse hung off her shoulder, buttons opened in the front. My stomach had tightened for a moment, she was a beautiful woman. Her face tilted up to look at me, the light dusting of freckles across her face, her pale white skin…hair falling down her shoulders, covering her breasts in beautiful curls. I couldn't breathe.

 _What happened to the chubby strange teenager that I used to know? She grew up so…so…stunning._ I stared down at her, her lips pursed.

"Calen and I are worth every second of you fighting off your hunger Jack…" She closed those iridescent green eyes. Warm hands placed against my chest, I couldn't…I couldn't…

"Do what you have to Jack, I want you around us. I…" She took in a deep shuddering breath.

"I need you." When she looked at me, I couldn't help it. I allowed her to fall into my chest. My arms wrapped around her tighter than I ever had before.

"Only Calen ever understood me…" She breathed out against me, warming my cold skin. I held her close to me trying to pull all the broken pieces back.

"I'm going to see him." I didn't want too…but I pulled her back from me. Running my hand over her cheek, I felt the scar's deep against her face…my heart sunk. I looked at it, and yet she still smiled.

"Tell him I'm picking him up later, alright?" She reached up touching my cheek. Looking down at her, at her beautiful pale face. Sinking deeper into those green hues, I nodded.

"I need to go toots…" I croaked.

I was surprised as she got on her tip toes and placed a small kiss to my lips. Something else ran wild inside me, something I couldn't tell what it was. It made me warm, wanting to keep ravaging her lips. Perhaps…explore. Shaking my head, I pulled myself away. Giving me a light wave, I took a single step and I was gone from her. I could still feel the warmth of her against me, her scent still lingered against me.

The walk to Calen's dream was a quick one. As often as I visited him, it wasn't hard to find him. His dreams were normally rather simple, this time it was dark. He was sitting alone staring at a looking glass. His head tilted, curls bounced when he shook his head. I was standing behind him, unsure of how to approach this child.

"Calen?" I spoke, he turned around. His green eyes lit up as he looked at me. The darkness surrounding us seemed to lift into a gray.

"JACK!" He screeched before tackling me. I was able to catch his small frame, crushing his small body against mine in a hug.

"I was starting to think you wouldn't show!" He lifted his head to look at me. I gave a smile. His head tilted slightly.

"You smell like mommy; did you see her?" He asked, I couldn't help my smile growing wider.

"Yes, I did Calen." I held him a moment longer. I placed him back down on the gray ground. Placing my hands on my side I couldn't help but look around the room. It was dim, empty…I gave him another look.

"Calen, are you alright? This isn't where you normally are." I watched as he shrugged. His eyes darkened, looking down at the gray ground.

"Is mommy okay? Is she happier now that she saw you?" He asked, my face flushed slightly. He perked up.

"Oh! Did mommy _kiss_ you?!" He was squealing, laughing. Jumping up and down in happiness. I raked a hand through my hair.

 _What am I going to do?_ I could still hear her musical voice within.

" _We are worth fighting for, Calen and I."_

"Jack? Are you okay? You're not laughing as much. Can we go to the carnival?" He asked, I gave him a soft smile. He took my hand giving it a light squeeze.

"Of course, we can. But, remember what I told you-"

"Don't go into the big black and white tent. Yes, I remember Jack."

Giving him another smile I nodded.

"Yes sir, and what happens when you go into the big tent?" I asked, his brows knitted together.

"Why are you…acting so strange?" He asked me, I felt…strange…

Peevish.

Hungry…

Starving…

I grit my teeth holding his hand like a life line…an anchor…

"I'm just hungry Calen…it's why I tell you not to go into the tent. I might eat you." I gave him a look, his face flushed for a second of fear.

"I trust you wouldn't Jack…" He squeezed my hand, then his eyes casted to the ground.

"And even if you did eat me, it would take a load off my mother's shoulders…" I stopped walking, the entrance to my carnival a few feet away. Calen gave me another look, my anger over powered my hunger. Kneeling I grasp his shoulders.

"Calen! I never want to hear you say that again!" My voice must've done something, his eyes snapped back up to me. His jaw opened revealing some of his missing teeth.

"Wh-wha?" He started, I gave a light shake.

"Your mother loves you! She loves you more then she cares about me, I swear to Zalgo…if I ever hear you say something like that again you won't be able to come to the carnival for a month!" I gave another shake, he reached out to touch my wrists.

"Okay! Okay!" He pushed away from me. His eyes warry.

"You're not a burden on your mother…you never were…" I stood up looking down at him, the look of disbelief on his face.

"Are you sure?" He asked looking away, kicking at nothing.

"Yes, I'm sure Calen…she would give her life to keep you…" Reaching out I placed a hand on his head. He looked up at me. His lips trembling.

"I wish I had a dad…all those kids at school tease me about not having one…and sometimes they like to beat me up. I don't tell mom…because we would have to get me transferred again, and we can't afford it." I watched something within his eyes shine, he looked up at me.

"Jack! You can be my dad! Can you take care of those kids at my school?!" He sounded so excited.

 _He doesn't know what I do…does he?_ I gave a sigh.

"Calen…" I started. He shook his head.

"I saw what you did to Sarah, don't you remember seeing me?" He asked, confused I shook my head.

"I never saw you in my tent…" I scratched my head.

 _I always lose myself in there…so it's possible…_

"I know what you did Jack! You're my hero, you stopped her from doing the bad thing to me again." He gave a cheeky grin.

"Mom knows too…she saw the blood on my sheets, but she didn't say anything." He gave a cheeky grin.

"Please?" He pushed again, he pushed out his lip, blinked his bright green eyes. I rubbed my hands over my face groaning.

"I don't like them bullying you either Calen…but…" A sudden sharp pain shooting through my stomach made the air be sucked from my lungs. The hunger pains were getting worse…if I didn't do something soon…looking at Calen…I saw so much of Faylen in him…I not only cared deeply for her, but I cared deeply for him. The thought of him being abused so badly made me want to hurt something…

"Alright, alright…just show me who I need to kill." I stood up straight. Calen screamed with joy…

 _He couldn't truly understand what I do…could he?_ I wanted to question his motives…but I wanted to please this child…this child so horribly beaten…abused…within this child's mind, I watched a flicker of a male child. He was a few years older than Calen himself. He looked like a typical rich kid. I reached out and pulled him close to me. He was trying so hard to give me a good description of the child.

"Look Calen, I'll just follow you to school and then we will go from there alright?" He looked up at me and gave a nod. A slow one, but it was a nod.

"Do you even understand what I do?" I asked, Calen leaned against me while we walked through the high rusted gates. He looked around, the carnival had shut down but some of the games were still open as was a few of the food stands. He looked around for a moment finally deciding what he wanted. Just like his mother, he wanted a fried pickle on a stick. He bit down onto it, tearing it apart. He gave a few chews and swallowed.

"I do to a point." He gave me a look with those green eyes of his. Questioning me.

"If you don't hurt my mommy, I'm fine with whatever else you two do." He gave another sly smile.

"I would have to kill you myself if you make her cry…just like that man Stu. Myu's husband? He likes to touch mommy when she doesn't want too. When she doesn't listen to him he goes off and tries to hurt her." He looked up from his pickle to me, he saw the anger within me, and I saw my anger within him.

"Oh, I understand Jack…I do…because what you do, I want to do to him…sometimes even worse. I hate the fact that my mom can't fight back. I get that she doesn't want to lose her job…but I also hate the fact that she can't _do_ anything. When she did…I saw the look, he gave her…the look he gives me. I'm protected by Myu sure…but how long will that last? She's about to have her baby girl, and when she does have her…I don't know what he will do." The emptiness within Calen's eyes surprised me.

"I know what you can do…I know what you do. Him? I don't not one bit…" He looked at the pickle, no longer interested.

"I fear the unknown Jack…and Stu is an enigma." When his eyes touched me, my stomach grew cold.

"I hope you can help my mom. If I lost her, I'd lose my mind."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Not an Angel

I sent Calen back into his sleep, I sat there on the Ferris wheel staring out at the empty carnival. All my souls went back to their rightful place. I looked at my tent standing tall, empty for the moment. Calen understood what I did, and why I do the things I do. I leaned back into the seat staring at the coming dawn. It wouldn't be long before I had to follow Calen to school and make due on my promise to him. Just the thought of a bully messing with him hurt me on such a degree it was shocking. Truly shocking, even for me. And Stu?

 _If I ever see him strike my Faylen…then…they're will be hell on this earth, that none has ever seen._ Swinging my legs over the side, the wheel moved slowly. Though this world was a broken promise, it sometimes was beautiful.

When I wanted it to be?

 _Being immortal is damming I swear…_ I sighed deeply.

 _What will you do when Faylen grows old? Hm ol' Jacky boy?_ Closing my eyes, I kept them closed, trying to keep out the coming hunger pangs. The want, the need to taste flesh made my mouth water. I wish I could ignore it more often…but it was difficult.

 _What are you going to do, when she dies?_

Growling I sat up.

"Would you SHUT UP?!"I screamed at the empty morning air. There was no one there, and no one was speaking to me. I closed my eyes, running my hands over my face.

"God, I'm going to end up like Jeff…I'm hearing things, thinking their real." With a groan, I jumped from my spot, easily landing on my feet.

It was time.

I needed a new toy, and I needed one now.

…

Within the darkest corner that I could find, I watched as Calen got dressed with the other boys. He only looked over at the corner once, the smile upon his boyish face made me feel a bit better. Deep within I wanted to stay with him, with his mother all the way to the end. Calen tossed his bookbag over his shoulder, the other children left the room. He gave me another glance as he smiled.

"I'll see you soon Jack." He was gone, out the door running to catch up with the other children. It took a second for me to follow him. I made certain no one saw me. It would be a little strange to have a demonic clown follow a child around, wouldn't it?

Through the halls Calen stopped, turning to look at a door. A man stepped out, a look passed between them. The look stopped me cold, the gentleman stepped further into the hall.

"So little brat, decide to stay the night huh?" The man spoke, Calen gave him another look.

"Don't you dare touch my mom, or me ever again." His voice dripped with venom, the man just laughed.

"Stupid child, you know nothing about adult business. What are you going to do, when I get away with taking your mother away from you?" He was getting close to Calen…too close.

"Me? Nothing. My new daddy? He'll gut you like a fish, and feed your insides to his children in the carnival of souls." The grin that spread across Calen's face made me shiver.

"Or, I just might get to you first…what I would do? Would be worse." He carefully walked up to the gentleman.

"My new daddy, is someone much scarier then you…" He snarled.

"I'll kill you myself if you touch my mom…ever. Again." He took a side glance to me, the gentleman whom I assumed was Stu stood there, dumbfounded that a child would scold him like that. Then, the anger.

"You stupid bastard…" He brought his hand back.

I couldn't remember coming out of the shadows, I just remember watching Calen flinch. Then I was there, catching the man's wrist. He tried pulling his fist away, Calen's eyes flicked to me. I gave him a single look, and he was running off. Stu's brown eyes looked from the stairs to me, standing a solid fot taller than him. His eyes widened, mouth dropping.

"What the-" The words flew from my mouth as I snarled.

"I'm starving for a new soul…normally I scarf up kids…but I'm hungry enough to shove yours down my throat if I need too…" I grew close to him, his own face drained.

"What are you…?" He whispered, and I cracked my grin laughing.

"Me? Oh dear you stupid boy…" I leaned in, holding his wrist up forcing him into the air.

"I'm that boys father…and if I ever see you lay a hand on him again, I'll _gut you like a pig!_ " The snarl that came from my mouth didn't surprise me. But the look within his eyes made me hungrier then I had ever been. I wanted to wrap my mouth over his face, chew on his nose and suck his eyes out of their sockets.

"Myu!" He screamed on the top of his lungs, and I laughed through it.

"Now you're screaming for your wife? To come save you? Some man you are…" I leaned in, wrapping my other hand around his throat, feeling his adams apple bob up and down as he tried to speak.

"And as for Faylen…? If I _ever_ catch you even _looking_ at her…I promise, your fate would be much worse than death." As his face began to turn red I dropped him. He began to crawl to the stairs my smile went wider and I laughed. I felt the sanity drain from me. Red, all I could see was red. The monster was coming, I could feel it.

The monster was coming…

The monster…

Stu got to his feet, running down the stairs screaming for his wife.

"Calen!" It was her…her voice pierced through the veil of red, her voice flowed over me. Dropping my hands to my sides, I took in a deep breath.

 _Follow Calen. Get new child. Devour new child. Ease hunger._

Shaking my head, I took in a deeper breath.

 _Think. Think…think…_

I kept my eyes closed, trying to shake away the fog within my brain.

"Mommy! Are you here to take me to school?" Calen was shouting.

His voiced pierced through the bleakness, yet her voice carried further.

"Yes I am!" I could imagine her picking Calen up, holding him close to her body…kissing his face.

My heart was hammering within my chest, my breathing ragged. Stu was still shouting for Myu, there was chaos running around me. I needed silence to concentrate.

 _NO! Focus on Calen, find dinner, then plan for the next stage._

I opened my eyes. Red outlined my vision. If I didn't get a child soon…

 _I can't promise anything about Calen._

…

I watched him run down the stairs, his green eyes landed on me. My heart leapt for joy, I was so happy to see him.

"Calen!" I screamed kneeling. Calen ran up to me, right into my arms.

"Mommy! Are you taking me to school today?" He asked me, and I nodded. Rubbing my face against the top of his head I couldn't help but take him into my arms, holding him against my chest.

"Mommy, you look beautiful today." He pulled away to take in my outfit.

Dark green dress knee length, with soft red pumps. My hair was pinned up away from my face, and I put on a little bit of makeup. Lip stick, eyeliner. Normally I would've worn a dress that covered my arms, down to my wrists…but, I had felt enough not to. Calen reached out, his little fingers gently running over the deep white scars. I gave him a light smile.

A thudding overhead made me take my eyes away from my son. Stu was running down the stairs, his tie messed up and shit crumpled, his face was paste white. I raised my brow, his eyes landed on me. At first, he had to do a double take, then he cleared his throat and gave a light pull on his tie to fix it.

"Ms. Snow." He tried, again I gave a smile.

"You look as if you've seen a ghost Stu." I motioned to the mirror beside him. He tried clearing his throat, the haunted look within his eyes made me smirk.

"Well I…uh…" Shaking himself straight he ran a hand through his black hair.

"I'm fine thank you." His eyes ran over my body, I stood straight. The shudder that ran through me was enough for Calen to wrap his arms around my waist.

"He just ran into daddy." I looked down at Calen, taken back by his words.

"Daddy?" I whispered to him. Calen gave a cheeky smirk.

"Jack." He replied. My cheeks flushed and I placed my hand to the top of his head.

"We'll talk about this in the car Calen." The tone of my voice carried to Stu, he looked over at me. His eyes flashed, and I felt my blood run cold.

"Come Calen. Now." I pushed him to the front door, Myu had started from the kitchen.

"Oh! But you haven't had breakfast yet!" Her stomach seemed to have gotten bigger in the last two days. And lower. I shot a look over to Stu, and she gave me a sad face.

"I understand, see you tonight?" She offered a sad smile and I nodded slowly.

"Tonight." I was trying to get out the door when she shouted back.

"Coffee?" I gave a light wave.

Slamming the door behind me, I held Calen's hand walking down the large stairs. He followed with a pep in his step. He looked up at me with those bright green eyes, and I gave him a look down. We walked to my car that was parked in the large roundabout of a driveway. Cherry blossoms covered the sidewalk that surrounded the road. Calen ran to my car, throwing the door open he jumped into the back seat, buckling himself up. I made sure he was safely buckled, kissing his forehead gently I went to the front and sat down. Buckling myself up I started the car, he was bouncing and singing in the back. I gave a look at him through the mirror.

 _He seems so much happier…_

I looked back to the road ahead of me; putting the car into gear I hit the gas driving down the long drive way.

"Calen, what did you tell them about Jack?" I held my voice strong, Calen looked back at me his eyes bright and wide.

"That he's going to be my dad." His boyish smile grew, showing off his missing teeth.

"The kids at school won't tease me anymore mom!" He was so happy, it was hurting my heart…telling him Jack wasn't real…he wasn't…

"Calen…Jack isn't-" His eyes dimmed, his smile faded.

"Jack is real mommy, he sees you at night too. I know he does. He told me!" Calen's eyes filled with hurt, and I looked back at the road, making a left on Hewitt. I leaned back in my seat a little more, Calen growing silent.

"Jack's real alright, and he's known mommy for a long time…a very, very long time. He's mommy's old friend." I looked up through the rearview mirror. Calen's silence was drawn out, he watched the trees pass us by.

"I know he was…" He replied.

"And…and Calen, Jack can be very dangerous." My knuckles grew tight on the steering wheel. I looked back at the road, Calen's eyes shot to me.

"Not to us! He kills other kids! He won't kill me!" He shouted back, my anger was rising.

"Don't you raise your voice at me young man! I raised you better than that!" I snapped back. Calen fell back against his seat, crossing his arms.

"I'm sorry mom…" Calen softened his tone, looking down at his old sneakers. I gave a light smile to myself.

"Do you like Jack?" I asked, Calen picked his head up.

"I love him!" He seemed so happy…his eyes looked at me.

"Mommy, do you love Jack?" He asked tilting his head, his red curls bounced with each movement. I kept my hands on the wheel, staring at the road ahead of me. The light went right from green to red, the car ahead of me slammed on the breaks, Calen's face turned to fear.

"Mommy watch out!" He screamed, I looked ahead slamming on the breaks. Calen being forced forward by the force he cried out in terror. Black and white hands slipped from the leather seats, wrapping around Calen's chest, forcing him back against the seat holding him still. I was forced forward; the seatbelt locking too late, my face slammed against the wheel. My nose crumpled underneath the impact. I didn't cry in pain, I sat there for a moment or so.

A car honked behind me.

The light flashed green.

I watched red splash against my pale knees. Sitting upright, I looked at the rearview mirror the arms disappeared into black smoke. Calen's eyes filmed over with tears.

"Mom…?" He whispered, I looked at the road gently pushing down on the gas; heart ramming against my ribcage I leaned completely back against the seat.

"Mom, are you alright?" Calen reached forward, his hand touched my shoulder gently. My own eyes fogged over with tears.

 _I almost lost him, I almost lost my baby boy…but…but…Jack…Jack…_

I let out a soft sob, wiping at the blood on my upper lip. I turned on my blinker turning onto the school zone. Calen was digging around in his school bag, producing a Kleenex. I turned into the parent drop off parking lot. I let out a long shaky breath.

 _Calen saved us…if I hadn't been in my own world, he wouldn't have to do that…_

"Here you go mommy." He handed me the soft tissue paper. I took it, gently twisting it around placing the tip into my nose. His green eyes looked at me with worry.

"Hey, I still got you to school on time." I gave him a light shaky smile.

"Are you okay mommy?" He asked.

 _No, I'm not. I'm a mess._

"I'm fine sweetheart." I leaned forward kissing his head gently.

"Do you want me to walk you inside?" I asked, his smile brightened for a moment.

"Please?" He asked, I gave him another kiss to his nose. Unbuckling, making a mental note to get the belt checked out. Calen slammed his door closed, he came around opening mine. Holding his hand out I took it. Helping me to my feet, I followed is lead. Pulling the Kleenex from my nose, Calen was bouncing laughing and singing to himself. As if the near-death experience did nothing to him.

 _He had arms around him, holding him safe._

I looked back to my little sloppy jalopy…pondering.

…

I watched Faylen hold Calen's hand, I was stunned in silence at how beautiful she looked. She was beautiful without makeup, but with time taken into how she dressed, she seemed…stunning. I was out of the car following them. The idiot in front of the car nearly caused them to have an accident. If I hadn't said something to Calen, thing's could've gotten nastier then what they already were. Faylen's bloody nose made me hungrier. Hungrier than I ever had been. Saving Calen took more than I wanted to admit. Normally I wouldn't save a child period…something just told me to do so.

Calen was jumping with joy, holding his beautiful mother's hand as they entered the large school. From what I had gathered, Myu paid for Calen to attend the same school as the other children.

 _It would've been easier to eat one of her kids…but they're Calen's friends. I couldn't do that to the boy._ Crossing my arms, I stayed behind them a few feet. I watched Faylen check Calen in. The male secretary giving her looks. A pang of something I strongly disliked flowered within my chest. I didn't understand the emotion, and I didn't quite want too. Whatever it was, made me hunger more.

 _I'm starving, if I don't eat soon…_

I shook my head.

 _Don't think about it, you'll find one of the bullies eat them, you'll be good for a day or two._

Taking a deep breath, I felt the sanity drip away from me. Little by little.

Watching Faylen lean down kissing Calen on the forehead, I couldn't help but notice how much weight Calen had put on, yet how thin his neck was. I could wrap my finger around that little neck of his and strangle him just as easy.

 _Stop!_ I screamed. I blinked several times, realizing my vision had started turning red. My heart was running wild within my chest.

 _I can't allow them to see me this way._

Taking a deep breath in, I let it out slowly. Faylen waved as she walked out of the front of the school. Her eyes lit up when she looked up. She saw me, and I saw her. Her smile was bright, from the tight green dress, to the heels that made her legs stand out. Her large bust bounced as she walked. Her long curled hair pinned up and away from her face, for the exception of her bangs that hung down to her chin. Her lips were painted red, her eyes had the lightest bit of eyeliner. She made me catch my breath. Her hips rolled, arms at her side. Her scars were open for all the world to see. I couldn't help but watch her move to me.

"Jack?" Her soft voice caused chills to run through my body. She was beauty in carnet, my mouth opened to a perfect O. I couldn't breathe with her near me. A feeling I couldn't describe crashed into me. And I started to stutter like a complete and total moron.

"I...Uh…hi toots."

I closed my eyes and rubbed the back of my neck. I felt my heart skip a beat when she stepped in front of me. All around her, I could smell the lightest scent of honeysuckle and blood. My stomach rolled and the pain knocked the air from my lungs. Keeling over, I looked up into her worried green eyes.

"Jack!" She was leaning over to touch me, yet I pushed her away.

"Don't…touch me Faylen." The look of surprise crossed her face, stumbling away from her.

 _Do it._

 _Kill her._

 _Stick your hand right in her stomach._

 _Pull out her intestines._

 _Eat her still beating heart._

I looked at her, she still walked to me. The love within her eyes made me hurt. Hurt worse than the hunger.

" _Don't…_ " Growling, I growled.

"Jack…" She was reaching out. A spark of red, I looked at her.

 _Dinner._

My hands were reaching out to her, tremors throughout my body caused me to pitch forward.

 _No…I'm not harming her…_

"Toots…go home." Snarling.

"Let me help!" She tried. Looking at her, I was laughing. Laughing uncontrollably. I placed my hands to my head, pulling at my hair.

"I'm going to kill you if you don't leave!" I screamed through laughter. Tears stung at my eyes, voices screamed.

 _Food._

 _Food._

 _Eat her._

 _Devour her._

 _Steal her soul._

 _Yummy, yummy…_

"Stop!" I screamed, Faylen backed away.

"Fight it Jack…fight it just a little longer…" She whispered, collapsing onto the ground. She was stepping back to her car.

"Go. Home." Snarling.

 _Peel her skin._

 _Make porkrines._

 _Yummy, long pigs._

I shook my head getting back to my feet.

 _Find bully. Eat bully. Find bully. Eat bully._

I opened my eyes to see the fear on her face, within her eyes I saw the fear of loss. Deeper into her soul, I saw love, and loyalty. She gave me one last worried glance before backing out, and driving away.

I straightened myself out, and sought Calen out.

 _I have enough left to find him…_

It was easy, he was chatting happily away with Baby who just started the first grade. They were laughing at something. Baby was the name of the youngest of Myu's children. The name fit perfectly. He looked younger than five. Much, much younger.

 _Perhaps he is._

 _Do you think he'll taste good?_

 _STOP IT!_

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath in and let it out. It took a second before I reached a shaky hand out, and gently tapped Calen's shoulder. When he turned around his eyes lit with happiness. I watched as he took note of my shakes. He had a look, as if he understood. He nodded to the furthest corner of the room. I looked over. A fat child sat on the floor surrounded by lunch boxes. Apparently, that was the toll to get into the classroom.

And no teacher in sight.

It took me a second to cross the room, my smile plastered on my face. The fat cheeked boy looked up from his payment. His brown eyes widened. Outstretching my hand, a chocolate bar laid flat against my palm.

"Would you like more?" I giggled. The boy's face lit up with absolute happiness. His hand placed in mine, I started to laugh, and laugh. My laughter spread across the room, disappearing into the silence.

…

I sat within the car, feeling the summer heat start to take effect on me. I had to pull over on the shoulder of the road. A splitting headache caused me to lean forward. Within the darkness of my mind I felt the thumping of my heart. I watched the multicolored spots. Opening my eyes, I leaned back into my seat.

 _Jack…_

I couldn't believe how he looked…his eyes wide rolling around his head, his face taught against his skin. His chin pointed down. He looked like…like…

 _A monster…_

I felt myself shudder. He was slowly losing his mind from hunger. From not killing a child in so long…

 _The look he gave me before almost losing it…_

It made me smile, just a little bit. He did give me a look that sent pleasure through my body. I had gotten the eye of a demon whom looked at me with the look of pure…pure infatuation? I bit my bottom lip, playing with my fingers. I still haven't learned how to stop myself from picking at them in moments of stress or worry…but I couldn't help it.

 _He's losing his mind over this…over us…because I told him he could fight it._

I closed my eyes.

 _It's all my fault that he's like this. If I didn't buy that damn toy…_

I opened my eyes looking down at the steering wheel.

 _I need to go to him…I need to see him, to apologize for everything._

I put the car in gear, wondering where the nearest park would've been. Looking through each turn off, I finally found one. Putting my blinker on, I took a sharp turn. The park had a track, playgrounds, and ponds. I parked in the furthest parking lot away from any form of life. Putting my seat back, I stared at the roof of my car.

 _Is this a good idea?_ I asked myself.

 _Is being in love with a demon a good idea?_ Biting my bottom lip, I closed my eyes and started counting back from one hundred. I counted back to forty-three before sinking. I could hear insane laughter, followed by a child screaming.

My eyes snapped open. There were no children pulling me under into the darkness. I was just there, the cold ground underneath my back proved it. I ran my hands over the grass feeling the blades tickle my skin. I got up, brushing my green dress off. The carnival was empty, the fence surrounding the games and rides were rusted, the black paint peeling away. The gate hung open squeaking as if wind was blowing it open. I walked forward into the place I had called home when I was a child.

Flags and posters were ripped, covered in holes. My hair begun to stand up, goosebumps prickled my arms. A whistling noise came from the rides, though empty still ran. The roller-coaster thudding over the wood planks. The Ferris wheel moved with no one on it.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I rubbed my arms. A cool breeze passed against my face. The lingering smell of rot stayed within the air, I gagged. This wasn't right…this place…it was the carnival but…

The pavilions were shut, the food stations held rotting items leaving a sickly-sweet odor. My heels made a clacking sound against the pavement. The emptiness surprised me, even the dead children would've been roaming around. Empty.

The black and white tent loomed over me, like it had done nine years back. I stared up at the monochromatic place. Jack was nowhere to be found. I stepped forward and to the tent. The place I was told to never go. Going forward, I placed my hand to the front flap, pulling it open I was face with darkness, with the crying of a child. The snap of the overhead light startled me, I let out a soft gasp. The light came down onto the child. He was sitting there looking back and forth, hyperventilating. I wanted to run over there and pull him free, however I was sickly interested to see what was going to happen. I leaned heavier against one of the bleachers.

Laughing, manically laughing tuned out the child's pleas and begging. I watched Jack enter the spot light, his hair was a frayed mess. His fingers were sharp blades, his teeth were sharp and glistening within the spot light of the carnival.

Something moved to my left, as I turned my head to look I saw a child, swaying side by side. Back and forth. Hair covered the child's face. The smell that wafted over to me, reminded me of road kill on a hot summer day. It made my stomach twist and turn.

The child in the center of the tent screamed, I turned to look. Jack was standing over him, laughing in his face. I slunk back into the shadows. The blades ran over the child's face cutting into three or four layers of skin. The child's eyes filled with pure terror, I stood there mouth agape watching Jack work his magic. He walked around the child.

"Do you want to die?" He whispered into the child's ear. I watched his blood run down his face as she cried.

"I want my mommy!" He screamed. Jack took a handful of hair and ripped with such ease it surprised me. The sound was that of ripping a carpet up. I shuddered, watching blood splash against Jack's face and clothing. My heart hammered away in my ribcage, unsure if I should run or stay. My brain was telling me run, yet my heart was telling me to stay.

"I want you to tell me child, do you wish to die?" His fingers ran over the child's shoulder, ripping through cloth and skin. Standing there in amazement I watched. The child hollered before his head fell to his chest. Jack scoffed, smacking him hard across his face. The child woke up screaming.

"Mommy!" He cried out.

I felt no pity to the child, he looked like the one who had been teasing Calen.

I wanted him to die.

Jack squatted in front of the fat child.

"Do you understand why you're here today rich boy?" He snarled. The boy's brown eyes looked at the homicidal clown.

"I don't…I don't…why…?" He gagged on the taste of his blood.

My mouth watered.

Jack tilted his head laughing.

"You hurt my son. You're battering him, torturing him, bruising his spirit every day." Jack leaned up to the child's face.

"Just think, if you were kind to him this wouldn't be happening to you. But to someone else." He stood, hanging his head. Holding his hand out, a child walked into the spot light pushing a cart with it. Jack turned to look at the multiple toys he had. My eyes ran over the different titanium looking metals, a bat covered in barbed wire.

I gasped.

Jack's head turned to the side. Eyes stared at me, blood splattered against his white face. I took a step back. He turned to me. My heart raced, my blood pumped through my veins. I watched his shoulders rise and fall, his breathing rapid. His mouth turned into a snarling frown.

"Run." He snarled.

I turned from him at a spring I pushed the flap of the tent open, running down the long path. Stones caught my heels catching them, making my ankle twist. With a cry, I fell on the ground. I looked at the strappy cork heels, I ripped them off. I got back up and was at a sprint again. My knees scraped up and bleeding, palms throbbing from road burn. His laughter was right behind me, I could feel his hands touching my shoulders.

I took a sharp turn, launching myself beside the Ferris wheel. My breathing was rapid, sweat drenched my face, running down in between my breasts. Jack was laughing.

"You think you can hide from me toots?" His voice came from-

I looked up, he was on top of the Ferris wheel, his arms crossed his eyes dead on me. The wind blew his hair slightly. My heart stopped for a second as I looked at him. His eyes had calmed down; he held no smile. His face was dead. He took a single step forward, Jack was falling to the ground. He landed with silence. His eyes scanned my face, as I stared at him. His hands were normal, he…he stood before me. I kept stepping back from him.

A sharp pain shooting from my ankle made me fall back, crying out I reached down and grasped my sore and throbbing ankle. Jack shook his head slowly his eyes laying on me. A softness filled them. He knelt down before me. I took in the sickly-sweet smell of cotton candy and the copper smell of blood. It made my head swim. A deep breath was all I needed to feel high, his hand touched my face and I was looking at him.

"How can you love a monster?" He whispered, the scent of death lingered upon his skin. I shuddered.

Not in repulsion.

I shuddered in pleasure.

Jack leaned in closer.

"How can you love someone, who comes to you covered in blood?" I was leaning back, he was leaning into me. I opened my eyes to look at him.

"How, can you love the smell of death on my skin?" He asked. My body trembled with anticipation. My mouth opened.

"Like this?" I answered his questions with my lips pressed against his.

The burst of pleasure I felt stunned me, Jack wrapped his arm around my lower back holding me in place. His lips moved over mine, my arms reached up snaking around his neck. He pressed my body against his, I felt the cool blood against my dress. My hands ran through his hair, he kissed down my jaw to my neck. Breathing heavily against his ear he laid me down in the grass. He looked down at me, within those white eyes I saw something new. A passion that he never had.

Jack leaned down once more taking my neck into his mouth, his hand ran up my dress to caress my thigh. Breathing out a moan I shuddered underneath him. His eyes captured mine, his strong jawline made me quiver. I never looked at him like this before, but I couldn't help it. With ease, he slipped my panties down my thighs and over my knees. I trembled, and trembled hard. A single touch sent my body into an inferno. Jack's eyes roamed over my flushed body.

"I've never seen someone look so beautiful with blood on their skin…" He reached over, taking my wrist. I shuddered when he ran his warm lips over my scarred skin.

"I loved every bit of you. Scars and all…" Opening his mouth, sharp teeth ran over my skin. He bit down ever so gently, I felt pleasure no pain as his teeth sunk into my skin. He closed his eyes moaning, as he sucked. Letting my wrist go I looked at him, blood covered his sharp teeth and black lips. I sat up on my knees capturing his mouth with mine. My blood tasted sweet, he groaned against my lips. He went underneath my dress lifting it up and over my head, I was naked before him. Trembling. He looked at me once.

"You're so perfect…" He pulled me in and laid me out on the grass, the sharp blades tickled my back. I paid no mind to it as he laid over me. His hands touched my face as I looked at him. I wrapped my legs around his hips. The pleasure came fast, I arched my back feeling him. He pushed against me, I felt my walls open and allowed him in.

A thin sheen of sweat covered my skin, eyes closed I felt the pleasure that much more. His hands roamed down to touch my swollen breasts. I felt tears within my eyes. He rocked his hips against me faster. He fit perfect inside me. Breathy moans slowly turned into screams, skin flushed Jack laid his head against the crook of my neck. My arms wrapped around him, holding him tightly. His groans were soft in my ear.

I had never felt such a high before. Hitting a point, I started shaking, my legs wrapped around him tighter than before. I let out a scream loud enough to bring me back slowly to earth.

"Jack…!" It was a short gasp. He lifted his head, grasping my sides his hips moved harder. My toes curled. Tears slipped down my cheeks.

"I…" I gasped, my walls clamped down around him. Jack groaned.

"I love you…" He whispered.

Eyes rolling, I arched my back screaming as I felt him fill me.

…

Laying out against the ground, my arms were around her body as she laid against my chest. Her breasts against my chest. I stared up at the sky, everything was silent. The child stopped screaming, Faylen laid against me sleeping. I felt…slightly confused. First, I was feeling blood lust, my hunger tediously getting satisfied, then _her_. Her green eyes staring at me in absolute amazement as she watched me work on the child. She had no fear within those eyes of hers…just…

 _She's too perfect…too perfect for me._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven:

Corpse in the Cradle

She stirred against my chest, I looked down at those bright green globes. Her eyeliner running down her face, lipstick smeared against her chin, hair poking out in different places. I couldn't help but smile, her eyes looked at me in wonderment. I placed my hand on top of her head, she gave me a big smile and my own heart leapt up in my throat.

 _What's going on with me? What is this feeling I feel?_

Her eyes sparkling made my own start to fog over.

 _What's wrong with me?_

Faylen kissed me, her lips felt like the softest of silk. Her hand stayed at my chest, her skin was warm and smelt of honey suckle. Her breath ran across my lips as she pulled away leaving me breathless. I wrapped my arms around her tightly, keeping her close to my body.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked her, she gave a playful growl before laughing.

"Well, I was just going to sit up." Running her finger over my bottom lip, I stared at her. That burning sensation started within my lower stomach, I felt as if I wanted her all over again. Closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath, trying hard to control my urges.

"Jack?" Her voice soft against my ears. I opened my eyes and she looked me over.

"Who was Isaac? You kept bringing him up, I'm just curious." She had such innocence in her eyes, I felt like I couldn't be mad.

"Isaac was my original owner." I started sitting up, feeling slightly uncomfortable. She gently pulled on my shirt. When I looked back at her, I knew my answer didn't suffice her curiosity.

"You're original owner?" Her eyes sparkled in confusion; raking a hand through my hair I sighed gently.

"Yes, originally I wasn't like this…my carnival had beautiful colors. Filled with joy and happiness. As was I. Then…" Uncertain if I should continue, Faylen looked at me with her beautiful face, listening.

"It was a long time ago. There's no need to bring up the past." I felt…sad? Angry? Nonchalant? I couldn't tell the emotions running through me, they made me irritated…annoyed. Her hand touched my shoulder, giving me a gentle squeeze.

"I want to know more Jack. Please, tell me." She was sitting closer to me. And I, felt a heavy knot in the center of my stomach.

"It was Christmas Even, in the early eighteenth century. There was a boy named Isaac…he lived on the edge of town, it was snowing. I remember it clearly; how cold it was. He was seven when I first met him, he was the loneliest child I've ever met. While most children were spending the holiday with family, and sometimes friends…Isaac…was a very lonely very poor child. His mother was quite mean, and his father spent extremely long hours at the harbor to make money to help with his substance abuse while his mother stayed home. There were times where his father would come home drunk, and scream at his wife, beating her and raping her. While, Isaac stayed in the dirty old attic room: he seemed to have acquired some breathing problems from his living quarters. On Christmas eve, his father came home heavily drunk, this was one of the nights that his father raped his mother. He told me, he was sitting underneath those soiled blankets, shivering in the cold…only to close his eyes and dream, dream what it would feel like to have a real friend. Luckily for him someone was listening and made him a very particular gift for the London child. As he woke, he found me at the foot of his little bed. I was colorful Faylen. I had _purpose._ " She leaned in closer, her hand placed against my pantleg. I looked at her milky skin. The weight grew in my stomach, as did the pain in my chest.

"He was so happy when he saw me, the poor child didn't even truly know how to read. He stuttered out the words 'Laughing jack in the box'. As he twisted my handle, my song was cheerful. I sprung from my box, and he was smiling at me…I made him happy. I was _made_ for him. I was _created_ to keep him happy. The issue was, I couldn't let his parents see me. You see, they wouldn't let me play with him anymore, and I couldn't have that happen. She got angry and struck him down…that night, I made sure was _extra_ special." The knot in my throat grew. I tried swallowing it back, it wouldn't go down. It wouldn't _go away_. I tried opening my mouth, a choked gasp came out instead.

"We played all night long, I gave him the sweetest sweets I could muster up. He was finally happy…a few months went by, we were outside playing pirates…and I saw the neighbor's cat. I killed it. I didn't _mean_ too. I thought it had nine lives y'know? So did Isaac…it was a few hours later, I was upstairs in his room playing with his tin soldiers. I made them come _alive_. I made him the happiest child in the world…till." I looked up at the rolling clouds, threatening rain.

"Till he told me he was leaving for a boarding school. I couldn't come with him…so, when he left I was left sitting on that damn shelf for years and years…" I clenched my fists. Faylen's hand covered mine.

"He promised he would come back as soon as he could. I was sitting in that box. I could see everything that was going on around me, his parents still lived in the house but they never came into his old room. Ever. For the first time since I was created I felt what loneliness was. And as the years went by, I grew darker…waiting, for my one special friend. After thirteen years, his father came home particularly drunk. And as normal, things went to physical violence…this time however…his mother didn't get back up…" Faylen's hand squeezed mine.

"Isaac's father beaten his mother to death, and the very next day he was sent to the gallows. With both of his parent's dead, Isaac inherited the house, he was twenty years old by then I believe. I…I was so surprised hearing him in the house. I heard him come up the stairs, I was so ecstatic I couldn't wait to see him again…but…" Closing my eyes, the warmth of my tears dripped down my cheeks. Faylen silently gasped.

"He wasn't the same Faylen, he looked so much older…but he had this look about him. He wasn't hopeful…curious or the young boy I had remembered him being. I waited for him to release me from that cursed box! But I still sat there, he didn't touch me. I was left on the shelf like some…some knick knack left to be forgotten. And the funny thing is…? I felt _nothing_. After waiting for thirteen years, it made me hollow. Empty." Lifting my chin, the tears continued to fall the hollow knot within my chest remained.

"The next day after work, he came back home. With what I believed was a new friend…. they were laughing, joking. I felt so much envy, so much jealousy at the woman, I wanted to reach out and scream or do something for Isaac to remember me. I didn't understand what they were doing, but they started kissing each other. Isaac was trying to touch her, and she didn't like it…he kept trying to touch her and she kept pushing his hand off. She finally had enough, and smacked him across the face. At that moment, I saw his face contort and his eyes fill with rage. I watched him strike her, saw the crimson ribbon flow from her nose. I thought, I believed it was some sort of game." Faylen moved, slightly uncomfortable.

"I've never seen such displays of violence. He was trying to rape her, like his father did to his mother. She bit him, and tried to get away. He grabbed something that looked like a candle stick and he bashed her on the back of the head. He struck her so many times, her head looked like a crushed watermelon. I couldn't keep my eyes off it. There was so much blood everywhere, some even got on my box." I looked at Faylen, her face stayed stoic.

"That explains the brown stain…" She whispered. Her eyes looked at our hands holding each other, fingers interlocked together.

"For the first time in thirteen years Faylen I _smiled_. Then I started to chuckle, my chuckle turned to a cackle. It was such a beautiful fame. I watched as her golden blonde hair was covered with red. I watched as Isaac grabbed the girl's body, put her on his old bed. It gave me a front row seat to watch what was to come. For the next three days, Isaac turned that girls body into an arm chair. Her femur was made into the back legs of the chair, while her tibia with the feet still attached; surprisingly, was made into the front chair legs. A wooden frame, used as the base and backing of the chair…however…" I felt the grin come through my tears.

"The rim of the backing was crafted by her spinal column…arm bones used as the arms of the chair and were fastened into place by her ribs. Her skin was grafted into the seat and backing of the chair, her golden blonde hair was braided into a lining for the base, and on top of Isaac's beautiful creation…stood her skull. Isaac was so pleased with his work and I couldn't help but feel the same way. From that night on, he never touched a drop of alcohol…" The heaviness grew, Faylen touched me.

"What else happened Jack? You're not telling me everything." She was prying, pushing…I shook my head.

"I can't…" I swallowed back. It was there alright, in the back of my mind. He made me into the _thing_ I am today. It was Isaac's fault.

 _He made me hollow…empty…filled with the need to murder. To taste human flesh._

"Jack…?" Her voice soft, ran over my skin and I shivered.

"He brought many, many more to his workshop of horrors and I watched. I watched every. Single. One. Even a boy that had almost resembled Isaac at that age. Oh no that didn't stop him either. After cleaning up one of his messes he _finally_ looked up at the corner and saw me. I was getting excited. I wanted to play the new _games_ he showed me. He walked over, his hands still covered in blood. He plucked me up, and wound me up." I looked at Faylen, she turned to look directly at me. Her jaw was taught and she was silent.

"He wound me up, and I popped out. He screamed dropping my box. I was laughing, he didn't seem to recognize me. So, I walked up to him tilted my head and asked 'wanna play a game Isaac? I have plenty now.' He tried to laugh it off, telling himself it wasn't real. It made me unhappy Faylen. So, I played a game with him alright." Looking at my hands I gave a big smile.

"It was fun stabbing him, over and over and over and over…making him bleed and painting his white room red." I was laughing, crying and laughing all over. Faylen looked me over her eyes soft. A soft rain fell against us. She shivered.

"I killed Isaac. And I loved it. I loved killing. And I wanted to do it, repeatedly." I turned to look at Faylen.

"You and Calen remind me of what I believed Isaac should've been." I leaned forward, my pointed nose touching her small buttoned one.

"Calen and you, have never seen a real monster till you look in the faces of your common men. The common man, made me the way I am now." I took her throat within my hand giving a light squeeze.

"And this monster, is what loves you and that boy…like I loved the thought of Isaac." I gave another squeeze. Her hand reached up taking hold of my wrist.

"Jack…you…you're hurting me…" The fear in her voice brought something back. I couldn't pinpoint what it was. Slowly I let her throat go, her eyes were staring at me.

"I'm not scared of you Jack. I was never afraid of you." She was reaching, her finger ran over my face. My jaw dropped for a moment.

 _Even after I told her that I killed Isaac, she still wants to stay?_

For a moment, I thought she could read my mind as she gave me a smile while stroking my cheek.

"I'll stay with you, till the day I die." My stomach dropped, the rain tumbled around us.

"You need to wake up toots, it's almost time to get Calen…and I'm sure Myu want you to come over. Besides, I've got food to eat." I nodded over to the tent. She gave it another look before nodding. I handed her, her green dress and undergarments. Her face flushed with a blush, I couldn't help but smile at the look of shyness crossing her eyes. She was dressing, I got up. With her cry of pain, I spun. She was holding her ankle, rubbing it gently.

"I must've twisted it when I fell running…" She gave me a look.

"From you…" A whisper.

Kneeling I gently touched her swollen ankle.

"It's swollen, you might want to stay off it for a few days." I gave her another look, a look I knew showed sorrow. That's what I felt, was sorrow. I didn't want to hurt her, it was never my intention to harm someone I loved so dearly.

"Jack, I need to go back." She reached forward touching my hand.

"I promise I'm not upset. I'm not even angry." She gave me another smile, my heart rammed against my ribcage.

"Alright, I'll see you soon toots." When I leaned in, she caught me off guard with her arms wrapping around my neck. Her lips pushed against mine. I closed my eyes, falling into her welcomed lips. Her breasts were pushed against my chest again. I wanted to feel her all over again. I _wanted_ her I could almost say I _needed_ her. She pulled away from me, I watched as she fell back into the grass disappearing as the worse of the rain fell.

I was back to it being only me, and the souls that roamed these empty rides.

For once I didn't feel hollow.

I just felt real loneliness.

…

I sat up in the car breathing heavily. There were some blood stains against the seats and on the back of my green dress. A throbbing pain in between my legs and ankle. Enough to be annoying but not worrisome. Rain tapped gently against the roof of my car. Rummaging through my purse, I found my cellphone. I sighed in relief.

"Thank god, I have fifteen minutes before Calen gets out of school." Tossing the phone in my purse, I put on my seatbelt, turned on the car and hit the gas. It was a ten-minute drive here, so I would have about five minutes to spare. My foot was heavier on the gas pedal then it should've been. However, I managed without getting pulled over. The school loomed in the distance, as I pulled up my phone started to ring. I parked, watching the children all file out of the large school. I took my phone seeing that it was Myu I answered immediately.

"Fay, I need you to come to the house as soon as you can. I'm going to be going to the hospital." She was breathing heavily over the phone. My heart was racing.

"What? Why?" For a moment, I almost thought Stu had done something to her.

"It's the baby, it's time." She was breathing heavier over the phone. I looked over the steering wheel. Calen walked out, last in line. I slammed on the horn, he looked up waving. I waved for him to hurry. He ran at a sprint over to me. Opening the back door, he climbed in.

"What is it mom?" Calen leaned back, buckling himself up.

"We have to go to Myu's. She's about to have her baby." I could see Calen jumping up and down in the back seat. His green eyes wide with happiness.

"No way!" He screamed. I looked back at him he kept dancing in his seat. I gave a light smile before backing up and going back onto the main road.

"Mommy, does that mean we're staying at mum's tonight?" He asked, I gave a nod.

"Unless Stu says otherwise." Calen crinkled his nose and snorted.

"I hate Stu…I wish he would just disappear." He crossed his arms, I shook my head slowly.

"Calen sweetheart you shouldn't say things like that." I replied. He just shrugged, heaving his book bag back onto his lap. I was about to say something however, I let it drop. There was no reason to argue with him. I didn't like Stu either, but I had to suck it up. I needed this job to keep him in school, and to keep our apartment. Taking a deep breath, I made the last turn and onto the drive way.

"Mommy, did you see Jack today?" He asked, I bit the inside of my lip before nodding.

"Yes, baby I did." I pulled up into my parking space, getting out of the car I collapsed onto the ground crying in pain. Calen was at my side faster than I could blink.

"Mom, are you okay?!" His eyes filled with worry I gave him a slow nod.

"Yes, sweet heart, I just twisted my ankle while I was at the park today." He gave me his hand, helping me up from the asphalt.

"You need to be more careful mom." The look he gave me was the same look, I normally give him for doing something silly. My cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"Calen, that's my line bud." He laughed while helping me to the front doors.

I could hear the commotion from outside the door, Calen opened it and I was right. The older maids were running around like crazy while Myu sat down breathing slowly, evenly. Calen gave a big smile and wave.

"Hey mum!" He shouted, Myu's face looked flushed but she smiled back. Her breathing even and easy.

"Hey bud! Hey Fay, what happened?" She nodded to my ankle.

"Mommy fell while she was walking through the park." Calen spoke up for me. Giving him a side look, Myu nodded.

"Ah. Well, the baby is on the way. Aren't you excited Calen?" Myu was leaning forward, rubbing her swollen stomach. Calen nodded fast.

"Uh-huh!" His grin was wide.

"How far apart are the contractions?" I asked, she gave another soft low laugh.

"Enough." She leaned back, one of the older maids took the suit case to the main car out front while another took her arm.

"Ready Missus?" One gray haired maid asked, and Myu nodded.

"I'll be back in a few day's-time. Keep the kids for me Fay. Raincheck for that coffee?" She gave a light smile. Her eyes looked to my dress.

"I have extra clothing upstairs, you might want to take a shower and get comfortable. Matilda is staying to help with dinner." She was breathing faster, her face covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Before I could nod she was already out the door and down the stairs. The commotion of before long gone. Calen gently pulled my hand.

"Come on mom, let's get washed up before supper." He kept pulling me, I wanted to follow…something kept me still. Eyes were staring at me from further down the hall. I looked to the left near the dinning wing, he was standing there tall. His biceps large, and his eyes eating my very soul. Stu's swollen bottom lip turned an off-purple color. I stood there feeling a chill creep up my spine, my stomach felt heavy. At that moment, I had wanted nothing more than to have Jack there with Calen and I…

 _I don't want to be alone with him…I really, really don't…_

Calen kept pushing me up the stairs and I followed without hesitation. My ankle throbbed with each step I took.

"We'll get into mum's bedroom, she has a jacuzzi tub!" Calen's smile seemed forced. I wanted to pry, ask what was wrong…

 _But now's not the right time…I'll ask later._

Going down the hallway, covered in pictures of the family, none of which had Stu in them. Just Myu the children and us. It seemed that we, the help was more of a family then Stu ever was. I gave Calen a look.

"How's your ankle mom?" He asked, I pulled away from him. I could stand on it with a little bit of pain, I took a step forward and fell. I shook my head.

"Nope, can't walk on it. I probably sprained it." I looked up to my son's face. He wasn't smiling anymore, he kept looking behind us.

"Come on mom. We're almost there…" He reached out with both hands, and I took them. Calen helped me get to my feet. Using the wall and Calen's hands he guided me to the master bedroom. Using his foot, he kicked it open.

"How did you really hurt your ankle?" He asked, ignoring his question I flopped down on the water bed, sighing in relief. Calen disappeared from my vision. As I was about to call out his name, a door to my left was open, the water started to run. Calen peaked his out from the corner.

"Come on mom, the baths running." I figured out how to walk without aid, bringing my sprained ankle up, I hopped to the bathroom. Bubbles fizzed up, Calen stepped out. Peeling the dress off my body, I climbed into the tub feeling the bubbles rise to my breasts. Calen popped his head into the bathroom. He walked over sitting down on the toilet seat.

"Mommy?" He asked, opening my eyes I looked up at my son sitting down on the toilet seat. He was fidgeting with his fingers. Quiet he looked down at his hands, unsure if he should ask or not.

"What is it dear?" I asked laying against the tub. The jets hitting my body massaging my sore muscles and aching ankle.

"Did Jack hurt you?" He asked. I looked up at the beautiful marble ceiling.

"No, Jack didn't hurt me." He didn't at least not on purpose. His eyes wondered over me.

"You were bleeding…why?" Calen asked, he had a dark look within his eyes that worried me.

"Jack didn't hurt me sweetheart, I promise." I sighed. Calen leaned forward.

"I'll kill anyone who hurts you…" When I turned to look at him, I saw how serious he was.

"Calen-"Shaking his head.

"Jack told me what they did you to…" Calen took my hand, looking over my wrist.

"He told me why you tried to kill yourself. It was because of me. Wasn't it?" He asked; I shook my head.

"No sweetheart it wasn't you. I was just…I was just scared that's all." I watched his eyes grow dead.

"If Stu comes near you, I know where the gun is…" He looked at me, the face of my nine-year-old looked so much older. When I touched his face, he closed his eyes and rubbed his face against my palm.

"I love you mom, and I don't want anyone to hurt you…I trust Jack, but I don't trust Stu. I see the way he looks at you…he wants to do the bad thing to you. And I don't like it." When he opened his eyes, there were tears shining within them.

"Jack and I are the only ones who can protect you." He wrapped his hand around my wrist. My heart sunk.

"Do you think…really think Stu is up to no good?" I whispered, Calen nodded.

"He was going to get Leo to do something bad to me. I know he was." He lowered his voice to a whisper.

"Mom, he's going to do the bad thing…I know he is. It's just _when_." Calen pressed his forehead against mine.

"How do you know this Calen?" I asked, he bit his bottom lip lightly.

"I just know…"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight:

Cracks in the Concreate

The eyes that looked back at me through the mirror wasn't mine. Bloodshot, yellowing and heavily bagged eyes wasn't the man I had used to be. I leaned forward looking at myself, my dirty brown hair had thinned a little at the top, my skin had taken on a waxen complexion from not enough eating. My body had begun to break down from the inside out. My days of alcohol abuse caught up to me finally. Little did my _'loving'_ wife know I had a completely different side of me, that had been coming out more recently. Giving our children heavy discipline like my mother did to me. After all, it was her who raised me from a bastard to the man I am now. Constantly looking for another fix, trying to find the next bit of cash to grab more whisky. At first, I didn't want her to know about that tidbit of me. I ran my own dojo, taught people how to defend themselves from people like me.

I'm the biggest hypocrite of them all.

I love prowling the streets at night, I love watching the women enter and leave the bars. My wife would never understand who I am, and what I do for a hobby. I love cashing them down, catching them when they least expect it. And watch as they beg for mercy. It's possibly the most tasteful part of it. What I love the most about hunting? Is when they come willingly to me, watch as I betray them and force them to bleed out at my hand. I watch as the realization comes across they're face's knowing they're staring death in the face.

I've been doing this for twenty years, here I am now. Nice, big beautiful mansion with a CEO of a company on my arm. She helped start my dojo, and she helped promote me. Myu, was a beautiful woman who immigrated from South Korea to here with her family. I ran into her at a bar, funny enough. She was looking through the American selection of cognac, which surprised me honestly. Being a woman, as small as her I believed she wouldn't have been able to keep up. However, she surprised me one last time by drinking me under the table. She handled her liquor and I ended up spewing in the men's bathroom. Picked up my glass, and went at it again with her. When she looked at me all I saw was her caramel colored eyes sparkle. I loved her the moment I saw her. I just didn't know who _exactly_ Myu was at the time.

Myu ran the biggest plus size fashion industry in South Korea. She moved over here to get another one started. It took off without a hitch. She was making ten times more money than I was working as a typical journalist. I wrote about homicide, suicide and the works. I worked the obituaries as well, only when my boss was feeling generous. That's where my interest in murder started. Where I had wanted to learn _more_ , on how to get away with it. Well…I had gotten what I wanted. First look at a serial killer stationed in a prison…apparently, he went after little children. His name was John Wayne Gacy. He loved dressing up as a clown, going to children's parties and kidnaping one, raped said child, and killed him. Stuffing their bodies into rooms underneath his home.

I had become obsessed. Following his case extremely carefully and very closely. The only reason Gacy, had gotten caught was he got sloppy.

I never got sloppy.

The first murder was rather…tantalizing. Like losing your virginity all over again. I killed them fast, at first. The high wore off just as quick. It disappointed me, and I grew bored rather quickly. So, going back to the prison, I visited him, sat down and we spoke. Hushed whispers, passing notes. Security at the time was horrible. So, sneaking notes to him were easy.

I simply asked this: _How do you make it last?_

He replied: _Take it slow, ride the high by mutilating them. Make the death slow. Painful…be sure they feel every little thing. The fear in their eyes will make it that much better._

That's what I did. I took his advice to heart, taking my time, I hunted them down. One. By. One. One. By One. Figuring out what I had liked, what I wanted. My mood depends on how fast or how slow I kill them. If I rape them or not. The only thing that came to mind when doing this was her. Myu. I didn't want her to know about my _hobby_. I _loved_ her and it made me sick. But, I had to play the devoting boyfriend by day, predator at night or when I'm not seeing her.

It didn't take long for the body count to grow, and I had to find different ways to dispose of them. So, I went back to my mentor. I slipped another note.

I said: _How do you hide them all?_

He replied: _Dump them in the bayou, alligators and crocks will do the rest._

I followed through, and I rode that high for as long as I could before I started to grow board and restless once more. So, what I did was move to different targets. Targets that would give me more of a challenge. Men.

I started to go to the gym, hit on a few good-looking men or asking them to have a drink. Sometimes even working my way into a personal trainer. After a few weeks, they fell easily into my hands. I molded them like they were clay. And god, I enjoyed every bit. I even tried cooking up a few pieces of long pig. The issue for me: children were too lean, and adults were too fatty. The muscular ones didn't taste right. So, I just didn't follow through on that one. There are times I get a craving for long pig, I just make me some pork chops. They taste the same any way.

So, how did I get where I am? Huge mansion with five now six beautiful children, house run by maids and people who gave a shit? The answer: I'm not too sure.

Shortly after Gacy's execution I felt empty and hollow. Depressed. Myu tried making me feel better by working her magic. Buying me anything I wanted…never the less, it had done nothing to ease that hollow emptiness I felt deep within my chest. I had lost a mentor, a friend. I stopped eating, I quit my journalism class and I told Myu, that I wanted to start my own professional martial arts studio. She was only too quick to jump and allow it. Telling me that there have been too many deaths in our little town. That there was a copycat serial killer around. I wanted to laugh at her and shake my head.

I didn't.

I knew better.

I moved into her mansion shortly after our one year anniversary, dojo already built for me. I couldn't have been 'happier'. At least, I was on the outside. Shortly before I could blink, we were getting married. Time, had started to fly by me. I couldn't grasp it, I couldn't hold it close to me anymore. Every morning I would get up, look at myself in the mirror and see someone who wasn't me. The person underneath that clothing, within that skin…wasn't me. Those eyes staring back at me through the mirror…was someone else. It wasn't Stu Nicolas Hemmingway.

That person was a shell of him. Eyes empty, soulless and hungry.

The more Myu left the more time I had on my own. I took it upon myself to bring my victims to my home. I would beat them mercilessly then burry them out in the forest beyond our house, or tie cinderblocks around their ankles and drop them in the lake. My favorite was a young man named Treyvon, he was a young tough guy who thought he could scare people away by learning some moves.

I showed him quite a few with my blade collection.

His blood was beautiful I might add…slicing right through his heel. I took my razor blade and went to work. Cutting every inch of his body. He wouldn't stop screaming till I took his tongue, and cut it clean off. That was a mistake. He drowned in his own blood. It truly was a pity, it killed my high. So, I did what I normally would, took him out to the back. Buried him in a nice deep hole.

Nobody missed the little punk. But, Myu and I had a nice dinner. Long pig chops tasted good with curry.

Not too long after the disappearing of Treyvon, Myu come home with this pretty little thing. She had some extra weight on her bones. She was shivering, her red hair short clinging to her face. She looked pale, waxen as if she had suffered some sort of trauma. Myu was going on and on about a little kid running out in front of her Cadillac at this old house. The girl's iridescent eyes looked up at me, I saw the fear cross them. I intimidated the girl. I knew I did. I'm tall, bulky but lean muscled, and she was small, fat and frail. I couldn't help the grin cross my lips.

She sure looked good to me.

She had full lips, eyes that any wolf would want; enough meat on her to feed me for a while. When she looked at me I could see the haunting look of someone, who had been rode hard and put up wet. She clung to my wife as if she was the last real thing on this earth.

When I leaned against the door frame, she just clung closer to Myu. I couldn't help but see the bandages wrapped up to her elbows. I raised my brows, all Myu did was give me that ' _We will talk later'_ look. I knew we would.

This young thing jumped at every sound the house made, she was even warier around me. As if she _knew_ what I was, _who_ I was. Her gaze made me feel as if I was being scrutinized, and or judged. It wasn't till later that night when I was sitting on the bed staring at myself in the mirror, like I am now. When my wife told me her name.

Faylen Ann-Lee Snow, she had tried to commit suicide when all her friends, and family abandoned her after finding out she was pregnant.

To me, she still looked scrumptious.

After she gave birth, she was still coming into work to clean the home. And I couldn't help myself. She wore her uniform that clung to every nook and cranny of her body. Her breasts were large, filled with milk. She still had some baby fat on her, but it looked _good_ on her, surprising me. Face round, hips large with a small waist, pale skin covered in freckles. Those big, round bright green eyes…I wanted to take them out, and make a suit from her skin. Such soft peach fuzz all over her. Only I noticed these things.

Before Myu gave Faylen her own place, she slept in the guest room upstairs that was now the nursery. At night, there were times I would sneak into her room and watch her sleep. She would always toss and turn, and or cry out for someone named 'Jack'. I believed it to be the guy who ran once she said she was pregnant. There have been times where I would sneak into her room, steal a used pair of panties and take a good long whiff. God, she smelt too good not to be used. I took it into my own hands to corner her. She was still on the bigger side, just turned seventeen…supple with swollen breasts still. Her begging cries made me tremble. She kept smacking me, pushing me away. Telling me no.

I've never been told no before. Not by any women. After a few smacks to her mouth, she relaxed and began to cry. When she looked over my shoulder, I was about to shoot some excuse to one of the other maids…what I happened next was something else entirely. I collapsed. Just right there, blacked out. I had no memory of anything that had happened. I never had fainting spells my entire life. The only thing that stood out, was the sickly-sweet smell of cotton candy. It made me feel so sick to my stomach. I think that might've been it. Or she hit me with something, I wasn't sure.

I've tried several more times, and failed. Either she would move away too fast or I'd have another fainting spell. I couldn't tell what it was about that girl Faylen, there was something protecting her. I knew it.

And I had been confirmed the other day, when her bastard of a brat came out of the boy's room. Carrying his backpack with that annoying Jack in the Box. I've wanted to steal that damn thing and break it. He was too old to be carrying around a stupid toy. The box was black and white, the strangest thing I had ever seen. When I went up to him that damned smell of cotton candy came back, and _BOOM_ there was this clown staring right into my eyes.

They were the brightest blue I had ever seen. He had red highlights in his hair, but his clothing was all black and white with feathers on top of his shirt. He had sharp razor teeth and these things on his hands. I was frozen in my tracks, he told me not to mess with his 'son' anymore. As if this crazy fucking clown was Calen's father. I couldn't believe it, and I didn't.

That's when I saw her again, downstairs at the front door calling out for the bastard child. She had on a beautiful green dress that matched her complexion. I saw the scars running up her arms, over her legs. They were all self-inflected. I could see how beautiful of a woman she had become. She had full curves, legs for days, and her hair was up tight. Her bangs fell over her face. She looked…so…ethereal. I wanted to open her ribcage and crawl inside her and stay there for the rest of my life. And boy…did I love to watch her walk away. It was when Calen ran right up into her arms that my moment of fantasy spilled away. Their love made me sick. I've never seen a child be so immature and incestual to their mother before. There was something about their relationship that sickened me to the core. I was never close to my mother; most head shrinks would tell me it's the reason I am who I am today.

Someone who goes around and tortures long pigs for the sport. I love it. Yet…I'm standing here, staring at my reflection. Breathing heavily. I wanted to end this horrid life of mine, and I wanted her. I wanted Faylen…and I wanted to devour her very skin that she's in. First…

 _First, I must destroy my seeds…_

Turning away from the mirror, I looked through my own little bedroom. Covered in Japanese memorabilia and a few different paintings that Myu made throughout the years. My heart was racing in my chest thanks to the heroin I shot up my arm. I was numbed from everything, even the pains in my chest. The alcohol did little to nothing to quench my thirst.

…

I looked at my mom laying out in the tub, her ankle was swollen and sore. I knew it was. I broke my arm by falling out of a tree. She was laying there staring at me, I was angry at Jack for hurting her. Whether he did it on purpose or not, I didn't care.

"Mom, Jack _hurt_ you! I don't want him around anymore." I was getting up from my post. Her eyes shown fear and anger, with just a touch of understanding.

"Calen sweetie he didn't mean to hurt mommy." She was moving in the tub. She sat up evenly, bubbles covered her, the tips of her long hair were wet.

"I don't _care!_ " I shouted.

"He _promised_ me he wouldn't hurt you!" I stomped my foot.

"Someone who loves someone shouldn't _hurt_ them!" I emphasized on the word hurt. Her eyes clouded over for a moment.

"Calen, he wouldn't hurt me. And…well…" I watched her bite her bottom lip, something my mom does a lot when it means I wouldn't get my way.

"I kind of like him." Her cheeks flushed a high rose color. I huffed.

"Do you _love_ him?" I asked her, again that rose color grew brighter. Her eyes closed and she leaned back as if thinking.

"Calen, you're too young to understand what love between two adults mean." The _anger_ that came within me was shocking even to me. I was shaking, my mother made me so…so infuriated.

"No Faylen _you_ don't understand! I told you I would protect you from anything that ever hurts you!" I felt the scream coming up my throat. The absolute shock on my mom's face didn't register. I was _so_ angry I felt tears fill my eyes.

"I only get one mom! I can't lose you!" I stomped my foot again.

"And he hurt you!" The scream came out, mom started getting out of the tub when she fell back in. Cursing at her ankle. I made fists, wanting to punch something.

"Look!" I pointed to her ankle.

"You can't even get up mom!" The tears dripped down my cheeks, she tried opening her mouth to say something, but I wouldn't let her.

"NO!" I screeched, my voice cracking. I turned my back to my mother, slamming the bathroom door shut. I went right to my bookbag, taking out the black and white Jack in the box, I spun it till the music died. A moment later within a puff of black mist, Jack's smiling face came out of nowhere. It took me a second to recognize him. His hair had red highlights, while his eyes were a stunning shade of blue. It took me off guard, but it didn't staunch my anger.

"Jack!" I screamed walking to him, the smile faded face.

"Yes, gummy bear?" He sounded happy. When I walked to him, what came next…I wasn't expecting. I brought my fist down as hard as I could, right into his stomach. Jack, didn't even flinch. Just the confusion within his eyes and the sheer anger that spilt from his lips surprised me.

"What are you doing Calen?" He caught my fists that were slamming into his stomach. I couldn't see through the blinding tears.

"You hurt my mom!" I screamed up at him through the cloud of fresh tears. His brows knitted together.

"What are you talking about lollipop?" He asked.

Bringing my head forward, I headbutted him right in the gut. Jack gasped for a moment, I looked up at him screaming at the top of my lungs.

"Hasn't my mom been through enough?! You _promised_ me Jack! You promised me you wouldn't hurt my mom! Now look at her! She can hardly walk thanks you breaking her ankle! You…you monster!" I didn't stop there, the words kept flying.

"She's had enough from Stu, and now you're doing it?! Why are all you adults such monsters to my mom! She's done nothing to you!" I kept screaming, Jack's eyes grew cold.

The bathroom door opened, mom was dressed up in a robe. Having one foot up she hopped into the bedroom.

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I wish you never came back into my mom's life!" My throat had gone raw from screaming. I tasted salt and my own snot from my running nose.

"You're a _monster!_ " My voice finally cracked out, and I collapsed in front of him.

"Calen Isaac Snow! You take that back right this instant!" My mom screamed from behind me, I turned to look over my shoulder. She stood there wide eyed in shock. I turned to look back at Jack, his frown set in place. He let my wrists go, his eyes showed agony over my words. I couldn't believe what I just said to him. I _loved_ Jack. I loved him dearly.

"Mom…I…Jack…" When I tried to say anymore, he just took a step back. His eyes went from me to mom. He slowly shook his head, tears stained his white face leaving deep rivulets. Jack's breathing became rapid as if trying to process what I had said.

"Jack…" Mom whispered. He raised his hand looking away from us.

"I knew it was too good to be true." The pain within his voice, stabbed my chest.

"I warned you before that I was a monster, that I couldn't be mended back together." He opened his eyes, and for the first time I truly took note of the color returning to him. He looked down at me…the pain within his eyes, within his voice made me shake.

"I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise gummy bear." He placed his hand on the top of my head. He left it there for a moment longer. Jack closed his eyes and I watched the tears fall, his chin trembled.

"Jack, please…" Mom tried again, and he was shaking his head.

"No, he's right. I hurt you, I hurt you bad…" He pulled his hand away, I wanted to reach out and take it again. But he wouldn't let me.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry I didn't mean anything I said!" I got to my feet, the moment I reached out to wrap him in a hug, he was gone in the same puff of smoke he materialized from. Mom stood there staring at my back. My eyes stayed glued on the spot he once stood.

"I'm sorry dad…" I whispered, when I turned to look at my mom, I saw the pain in her face. My heart fell deeper into my chest as I watched my mom cry. I was angry over the fact Jack hurt her…but now I broke my own mothers heart.

"Calen…do you realize what you've done…?" She whispered, when I looked at her the pain came crashing down on me.

I had ruined our family. I hadn't realized it till that moment…mom was in love with Jack. And I was going to have the family I had wanted for so long.

"I…" My throat grew tighter.

"Mom…" I couldn't form words. I couldn't face her…she turned away from me, hobbled back into the bathroom and slammed the door in my face.

I had never seen my mom that hurt in my life.

…

I looked at my sleeping son, lying still in his bed. His chest risen and fell with each even breath, I reached down touched his bangs gently. When he opened his eyes, he looked at me.

"Hey kiddo." I sat on the edge of his bed, and he rolled over onto his side. Leo was my right-hand man, and I loved him dearly. But I wanted to start over, go back to my old ways…his hand touched mine. He ran his fingers over the veins on the top of my hand. Something I had grown used too.

"Hey daddy, is everything okay? Is the baby home?" He asked starting to sit up, gently I placed my hand on his chest and push him back down. The confusion within his little brown eyes didn't shock me any. As he tried sitting up again, I would just lightly push him back down.

"No, the new baby isn't home. No mommy isn't home. They won't be for a few days. I just came in to see how you were doing kiddo." I watched his face scrunch up.

"Daddy, what's that nasty smell?" I cracked a grin, he must've been talking about the booze I downed before walking into his room.

"Am I in trouble? Am I going to be punished?" He asked, the fear crawling back into his eyes made my groin tight. I loved seeing the fear in my prey's eyes. It just drove me that much further.

"Oh, my sweet little boy…your sins are going to be paid for, in full." In my right hand, I held the woodcutters axe. My son's eyes darted from my left hand to the right. Underneath my palm I felt his little heart sputter.

"Daddy you're scaring me." He whispered, I turned fully to him. I leaned down into his ear.

"I've been wanting to do this, for the last six years Leo…ever since you were born. I wanted to take a pillow and snuff your little light out." His mouth opened to scream.

Before he could I was standing, and slamming the woodcutters axe down. The thump of the axe splitting his little mouth open made me groan. The release I felt was all too soon. Leo was still thrashing around, when I opened my eyes, I saw the axe didn't quite go all the way through. So, I placed my foot up on his chest, brought it back and slammed it down again. This time, through his throat.

The whistling of his windpipe brought another shudder of release. Warmth of his blood splashing against my skin brought a tremor through my body. It had felt so good against my skin again, his hands grasped and pulled against the stained sheets. With ease, I pull the axe free, allowing him to wallow in his own blood and gore. Cracking my neck, I felt as if one task was done. With grace and ease I went to the room across from Leo's. It was the second eldest child of mine, and his twin brother. They were just as easy as Leo. All I did was a quick smack right in the center of each child's skull. The rooms were sound proof, I had no worries of Faylen hearing my master piece in the making.

I opened my mouth letting the fresh warm blood flow down my throat, into my gullet. It had been too long since I've done something like this. It made me feel whole, complete…even free. The last child was going to be a bit difficult. It was Baby. Getting his name rightfully so, by looking like a baby with his childish face. He was the smartest one, wouldn't be asleep by now…

But I opened the door, and I was correct. He was sitting up reading R.L Stine's goosebumps. He just looked up over the book, and the horror that crossed his face made me bust a load in my underwear. He was trembling in his own knickers. I cracked my neck again.

"So, Baby, how does it feel to see your father, covered in your brother's blood and guts?" I asked, he looked me over.

"What did you do…?" He asked, a smile split across my lips.

"Care to find out child?"

…

 _I can't believe the nerve of that child!_ I screamed mentally. I paced back and forth in my tent. Looking over my latest meal. The child kept shivering, naked weeing himself. I growled and smacked the child right across the face. Claw's dug deep into his meaty cheek. Blood covered his face, ran all the way down to his chest. Normally this would appease me, but the screaming from Calen really stuck with me. I stared down at this child who cried. Reaching for the barbed wire baseball bat, I felt the weight of it before slamming it against the child's shins. Still, I felt nothing other than pain from Calen. I couldn't believe he would _scream_ at me.

 _I saved his mother's life, I saved his life from getting his face smashed in from a car accident. And this is the thanks I get? Getting told I was hated and forced to leave?!_

I screamed into the screaming face of the child, his eyes looked at me. He trembled at the sight of me.

"What did I do wrong? I treated them right, I didn't do anything harmful!" I began to pace, the child cried again.

"Enough of that blasted crying! If you don't stop I'll really give you something to cry about." Growling underneath my breath, the child looked at me. Covered in his own blood, stinking of piss. Taking a deep breath in I allowed it to slowly expel from my lungs.

"I saved their lives so many times, how could he treat me like that?!" I asked the child who shook his head.

"I…I don't know…" He whimpered.

Board with the bat, I tossed it to the side. I went to the far-left side of my tent rummaging through the trunk of misery, finding a few other things I could use. A fire poker, razor blades tied to a string. Something I could force the child to swallow…

Sulfuric acid.

Kerosene…

 _What am I in the mood for?_ I dug deeper, finally hitting the bottom of the trunk. Realizing I went through the entire thing without finding what I wanted.

"Son of a biscuit…" I swore, hands on my hips I lean slightly against my left hip…I looked down right at my feet.

A car battery and connecters. I raised my brows and smiled. I hefted them over to the child who cried out.

"No! Please no…" He whimpered shaking his head. Placing it in front of him, I pulled out the connecters. I forced his mouth open, placing one on his lower jaw, the other to the battery. I flipped the on switch, watching the kid dance in the seat. I felt a sick grin spread across my lips.

Smoke began to rise from his ears, out of his mouth, and nose. Finally, he stopped moving. Liquid poured out from his crevices. Crossing my arms, I grew bored.

 _You could always go out and get another plaything. I mean, come on. You've got nothing but time._ Sighing I kicked the battery. It wasn't fun anymore. And sure, the torture gave me a high, but nothing like kissing Faylen, or having Calen hold my hand as he runs through the carnival. Groaning I rubbed my face.

 _Stop thinking about them, Calen hates you._ Sliding my hand off my face, I stare at my reflection within the child's dead eyes. Nearly screaming, I saw blue in my eyes. My hair had faded into a soft red. I reached up and gently pulled at the end of my hair. I rubbed my eyes as hard as I could, but the color still stayed. My heart ran wild within my chest. I couldn't breathe.

 _What…what's going on?!_ I kept pulling, rubbing, scratching, and prying. Opening my mouth, my teeth had become dull. Returning almost normal. I shook my head hard, trying to rattle my brain back into place. This couldn't be happening.

 _No, no way._ I kept shaking my head to the point my temples throbbed. I gave a quick once over on my clothing. They were still monochromatic, just fading a bit.

 _This doesn't make sense…_ I gave my shirt a good smell, the fabric had the stench of death and cotton candy. That was at least still the same…

 _But…my teeth, hair and eyes…they're almost normal again…_ I swallowed back the vile taste of vomit. The words Calen said hurt and I couldn't understand _why_ ; why they hurt me so much. My brain was just confused as I was. And the look on Faylen's face? That made the pain that much worse. Because I couldn't stand seeing her cry like that. It broke my heart.

 _Broke…my…heart? What?!_ Next, was fear. The absolute terror I felt stinging in my chest made me breath heavily. I couldn't catch any breath whatsoever. Nothing stayed in my lungs longer then a second before I was gasping again. Like a fish out of water.

My vision became cloudy just like when he shouted at me, I touched my face to feel that it was wet once again, with tears. Tears soaked my face and the dirty ground. I forced myself to sit down on the dirt, to stare at the ground. I was afraid. Truly afraid of losing my family. The family I never knew I had.

Looking around the tent, the souls of the damned surrounded the entertainment, and I felt that pang within my chest. The sudden lurch of loneliness. A feeling I had forgotten about since finding Faylen again. It took me a long moment of realization, to see what I had been longing for. And that moment struck out to me as odd. I've never had it before, never truly understood it.

 _I'm in love with her…_

A sudden knot within my stomach warned me, something was going to happen, something I couldn't stop.

…

After mom slammed the door on my face, I went out of Mrs. Myu's bedroom to let mom have some time to cool off.

 _I just couldn't help it…it made me so mad to see someone hurt my mom…_ I closed my eyes shaking my head slowly. Wondering down the hallway, I looked down at the hardwood floors. Red spots were splashed all over the wood. Knitting my brows together in confusion, I knelt running my fingers over the spot, just like the guys on the television had done I brought it up to my nose and took a whiff. It smelt…like copper. Almost like how Jack smells every night, just without the cotton candy mixed with it. It was a smell I didn't like.

My stomach knotted up just as the hairs stood on the back of my neck. Someone was staring at me, and I knew it wasn't Dad…dad's stare never gave me the chills. This, this was something much different, much more sinister. I stood slowly, rising my hands up.

"That's it bastard turn around." I was doing what I was told.

"Slowly." He snapped. I followed his order. When I turned around, my stomach dropped. Stu was covered head to toe in absolute gore. The smell alone made me gag, there was something about him that just unnerved me. It wasn't the blood and guts over him…it was the look within his eyes. The look of absolute craziness. Even dad had his crazy moments, but not like that.

"My, my…the little bird flew away from the nest." He was naked, walking up to me. I took a step back, my bare feet touching cool drops of blood. Stu's smile was wide showing all his white teeth, stained red. His entire face reminded me of that actor who played in American Psycho…just the way he moved, the way his smile set his entire face off.

"Where's my little song bird bastard?" He snapped at me, I shook my head.

"Is she still bathing?" Each step I made back, he stepped closer.

"Mom's not in the bath anymore." I gave a look over my shoulder.

 _What I wouldn't give for Dad to be here…_ I took another step back, he stepped forward.

"Now, now there's no need to lie to me little bird." He was walking closer.

"You try anything I'll scream." I snapped. He started to laugh a full laugh.

"And who's going to hear you little brat? I've soundproofed this entire mansion." He came closer.

 _Gotta get him away from mom…!_ The woodcutters axe he held, was covered in gore. Mentally I memorized this entire mansion.

"You're going to fly away little birdie?" He sang song it. Making a sharp turn on my heel I bolted down the rest of the hall, making a sharp left turn to the final door. He was hot on my tail.

 _Gotta find it…gotta find it…_ I kept running through the routes in my head, I slammed the door shut locking the dead bolt on the door. Taking a deep breath in and slowly letting it out, I ran to the furthest part of the study. Within the old redwood desk, I remember seeing it. I remember Leo showing it to me a long time ago…

I pulled the chair out from the desk, opening the top drawer tossing papers out and rummaging.

 _Damn it! Not this one!_

I jumped to the bottom drawer. Forcing it open. Tossing folders out, I tapped the wood panel at the bottom. It was hollow.

"Ooooooooh Caaaaaallllleeeeeeennnnn." Stu sang out, the knob was being turned. A sigh.

"A wood door and an axe…? Okay."

Bang.

I jump.

Crunch.

I shiver.

Warmth ran down my pant legs. I looked down at the warm wet spot showing up on my jeans. I went back to the drawer, knocking around till I found the loose part. I pulled with all my might. Underneath was a case. A case that held the Glock handgun. I laid the grey case down on the hardwood, trying with shaky hands to open it.

Bang.

Wood splinters shot from the door. I couldn't scream...

 _Don't scream, don't scream Calen…don't scream…_ I kept telling myself, over and over.

 _Be mommy's superhero._ I took a deep breath as another bang. More splinters. I turned the case over, numbers. I needed a number code to get in.

"Fuck!" The curse came out of my mouth, I had to close my eyes and push real hard on my temples.

 _Remember the day my mommy met your mommy?_ Leo asked, when my eyes opened I ran my fingers over the numbers. It flashed green and popped open.

"Oh Calen, I know you're in here little birdie."

Crawling underneath the desk I pulled the gun out of the box, my eyes filling with tears. My hands shaking at the heaviness of the gun. He brought the axe down one more time, his foot smacked right into the wood. The door collapsed in a heap of worthless kindling. Stu walked through the threshold, I held the gun close to my chest.

He was coming for me…

…

 _Come on Fay, you can't be mad at your little super hero. He was just trying to protect you, I'm sure if you go back to the dark carnival and speak to Jack, he would understand and come back. Calen was just doing what he could…_ I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Hobbling over to the bathroom door, holding the robe closed around my body, I pushed the door open.

"Calen I'm sorry, why don't we get Jack back and- "He wasn't there. Calen wasn't in the room waiting for me. My blood became ice, my heart turned numb. An eerie silence casted over the mansion. The rooms were sound proof, but I had left all the kids doors cracked so I could at least hear them snore. But…nothing. I heard nothing but my own rapid breathing, and thundering heart beat within the darkness of the mansion. Limping to the bedroom door, I pulled it open. The smell hit me first, it was sudden taking my breath away. I covered my mouth and nose with the arm of the robe. The smell reminded me of when I was sixteen and trying to kill myself. I gagged. I went to Baby's room, it was the first door to the left. The room was covered in shadows, the smell was horrid. Running my hand over the wall to find the light switch, my fingers felt wet and cold.

I flipped the light on, the blue wall was covered in red droplets of something and the smell was stronger in here. Looking at my hand and fingers, they were covered in red. I looked over to the desk where Baby normally sat to read. The sheer horror filled my heart, a scream in my chest. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't speak. Baby laid over the chair, his head decapitated, sitting on top of his closed laptop. I couldn't breathe…I couldn't breathe…

 _Calen!_ _The others!_

I turned to the other door, where the twins were sleeping. I flipped the light on. The bunk beds were saturated in blood. The scene flashed before my eyes, and I screamed. I screamed so loud my voice cracked. The children had pillows covering their face. Blankets strewn everywhere, the blood reached the ceiling. The tears choked me, but I couldn't do anything but let out small croaks and moans.

"Oh…oh god…" I whispered backing out.

"Calen, I need my boy…" I went down the hall, droplets lined the floor from each room. Bloody footprints went all the way down. Too small to be a grown mans. When I took that left, the door to the main study was broken down. Blood stained a few pieces that remained intact. I tried to breathe evenly, my ankle throbbed in a warning. Standing in front of me, naked in the room was Stu. Axe at his side, his chest moving heavily. He turned slowly to look at me, the wicked grin spread across his lips exposing white teeth painted red. Eyes dilated wide enough to hide his iris. He started to laugh.

"Hello my little nightingale…" He turned around completely, wobbled and stepped forward.

"Are you going to make this a fun night? Or should I just toss this axe at that beautiful face of yours?" He took another step forward.

"Where's my son?!" I screamed, he just laughed.

"Oh? That little birdie? I'm not too sure. He came this way." He tilted his head to the side, the grin spreading wider.

"I can make this fun nightingale. I'll give you a ten second head start." My heart labored.

"Stu, put the axe down. There's no need for any of this. What do you want?" I asked raising my hands, showing I had no weapon.

"Ten." He started. I backed up.

"Nine."

 _Oh, dear god in heaven he's being serious._

"Eight." He continued, walking forward. I turned and headed down the closest flight of stairs, my ankle screaming in protest.

"Seven." He was following on my heels. I was going to get anywhere with a sprained ankle.

"Six." Missing a step, I fell forward onto the tiles underneath me. He was down the stairs.

"Five."

I was up, hobbling through the kitchen, through the dinning wing. Ignoring my surroundings. I saw nothing more but blurring walls. My ankle screamed louder.

"Four."

I was through the double doors and out into the main living area. I kept looking for the screen doors, my heart running faster in my chest, then ever before.

"Three."

He was following me, in the dining area I could hear his loud voice screaming.

"Two." He was through there into the kitchenette in the center of the main living area.

 _Get him away from Calen. I need to get him out into the woods or something. Just, away from my baby._

"One!"

I hit those double sliding glass doors, running around the large pool. I pushed the black gate open. He was right behind me…right behind me…

 _Please if I die tonight, please someone hear me…save Calen. Save my baby boy._

I ran through the briar bushes, pulling and yanking at my robe. Scratching at the visible skin on my shins. Stu was crunching through the leaves, breaking sticks and twigs. I ducked underneath a low branch, breathing harder than before, my bladder turning to the size of a peanut.

 _Get him far enough away for Calen to have a fighting chance…_

I tripped over something, losing my balance. Almost tumbling face forward at a full sprint…the screaming in my ankle was easily ignored. I couldn't let him catch my son. My sweet little boy. Stu was loud enough for me to guess where he was. And he wasn't far behind. I grabbed the biggest branch I could find in the darkness of the night. My hair came loose and was covered in loose leaves, and twigs. I pushed myself completely against a large oak tree. I tried to be silent, but my breathing wouldn't allow that. I closed my eyes, I wanted to cry…but crying could be done later.

 _Please lord above…I want to see Calen's tenth birthday…_

Silence.

There was no more breaking of twigs underfoot or crunching of leaf's. I held my breath for a moment, slowly letting it out. All I heard was the rolling of my own heart. I leaned more into the tree, feeling the rough bark against my shoulder blades within the thin robe. I leaned to the left, I saw nothing. Leaning back to the right, I saw Stu's back. Covered in blood and muck. He was facing away from me, breathing heavier than before. Slamming myself back against the large oak, my body trembled.

"Little nightingale where be you?" He called out, I felt my bladder give out. I took in a sharp breath, praying he couldn't hear me piss myself from fright.

Silence.

I opened my eyes, I was met with his large sadistic grin. He grasped my wrist as I tried to strike him. He pulled it back and twisted. I heard the snap of the bone breaking before I even felt it. He brought the blunt end of the axe up. I saw a bright light flash before my eyes, my vision throbbed and pulsated. My knees turned to water underneath me, I couldn't even hold myself up. The pain exploded in my broken wrist as he tossed me to the earth. I landed on my stomach, trying to crawl away. He brought the blunt end back down onto my lower back. Another explosion of pain shot through my spine, I screamed at the top of my lungs. He took a handful of hair forcing me to my back. As I looked at him, my vision doubled and I couldn't see properly. Everything turned watery for a moment, then to black and I was waking up again, Stu on top of me. Pulling my robe open, exposing me to the night air. I tried moving away from him, crying. He smacked me across my face. Trembling underneath him, I tasted blood on my tongue. His hand traveled down over my jaw, to my throat where he held me down. His other hand ran the head of the axe over my breasts.

"Mm…perky tits. Even after a kid. Do you know how long I've waited to see you naked nightingale?" He grumbled, leaning down he captured my mouth to his. I wanted to scream and cry. But I allowed him to assault me. His tongue raping my mouth; I could taste the blood and alcohol on him. I gagged when she shoved his tongue further down my throat, so I could taste everything. As he pulled away, I turned my head to the side and vomited.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You would've had a beautiful body if you didn't ruin it by scaring yourself up." He squeezed harder on my throat. I felt my windpipe be tediously crushed. He was hard, pushing into my stomach.

"You're such a beautiful little creature…" He ran the axe further down, to my thighs.

"It would be such a waste not to have, what your little boy toy has had." The axe ran over my pubic hairs and I whimpered. I wanted to cry out, scream.

 _No one can hear me out here…at least Calen is safe…_

I closed my eyes, ready for the invasion. He dropped the axe, and started to rub me. I shivered and I let out a cry.

A loud noise made me scream, Stu screeched in pain. The warmth of something hitting my face brought me back to reality. Stu had turned around to look over his shoulder, he growled.

"You fucking brat!" He screamed, lifting my head I saw Calen. Taking proper gunman stance, aiming the gun right at Stu.

"Get off my mom!" Calen screeched. Stu was standing his left arm hanging limply at his side.

"Calen…" My voice barely came as a whisper, I couldn't see through the blood over my left eye. He never once broke eye contact with Stu. He took a few steps forward while Stu took a few steps back. Calen pulled the trigger, Stu was on the move. Running passed me. Within the darkness of night, Stu disappeared into the forest. Calen lowered the gun, putting he safety back on. He placed it to the ground by the tree. He was at my side in a second.

"Mommy!" He cried.

I couldn't hear him out of my left ear, I couldn't see him properly.

"I called the cops mommy! Please stay awake." He begged me, his little hands were on my face, but I couldn't move. I felt cold from the neck down. My eyes grew heavy, and I welcomed the coming darkness.

…

My tune was being played, slowly. Not as eager as I thought it would be. When I popped out of my box, I wasn't in the same place as I normally am. I was in a white room, with a nasty sterile smell.

 _What the hell is this place?_

My box clanged to the floor and I was greeted by arms wrapping around my waist. Tighter than ever before. I looked down to see bright red curls, and I could smell the stench of blood on him.

"Calen?" I whispered, when he looked up at me. His eyes were covered in bags, his face splattered with blood and his clothing torn to tatters. Kneeling to his level I touched his face.

"My god gummy bear what happened to you?"It hit me suddenly, Faylen wasn't near him.

"Where's mommy?" I asked, trying to keep the fear and worry from my voice. The moment his eyes watered up, I knew something was wrong. His small Adams apple bobbed as he tried to swallow back the tears.

"Calen…talk to me…" I touched his face gently, wiping away his falling tears.

"I need you Daddy…" He choked out, my own throat grew tight.

"Calen…" His whole chin trembled, his lip stuck out like a child.

"Mommy might not make it." He whispered.

My stomach turned into ice, my body grew numb. Staring into Calen's eyes my heart stuttered, and I couldn't breathe. He was trembling like a leaf. As I tried to speak, only a small squeak of fear came out.

"What do you mean…mommy might not make it…?" Calen's eyes turned glossy as he screamed in pain. His head went into my chest, he screamed as he cried, and cried as he screamed. I looked up to stare at the chair he had been sitting in, trying to hide my own tears from this child.

"I was too late daddy…I was too late…" He whimpered, I stroked the back of his head.

"Stu killed everyone in the house…the other maids, my friends…and now mommy might not make it! I was too late to shoot!" He trembled in my arms, I buried my face into his red curls. My tears fell on his hair, my own chest heaved.

 _It's all my fault…if I hadn't been a child and ran off. Things could've ended differently. If I was there, Stu wouldn't have had a chance to touch her._

"Calen…oh sweet, sweet Calen." Sitting down on the floor, he climbed into my lap. He laid his head on my chest, slowly crying himself to sleep. I watched my tears land on his face, leaving soft crystal flakes against him.

"I'm so sorry my sweet gummy bear…" The emotions were overwhelming me. I couldn't hold them back. Calen still whimpered within his sleep. I rocked him gently, back and forth. I closed my eyes listening to his heart beat. It grew slower, and slower till finally he was hitting R.E.M. I cradled him in my arms for a moment longer before I gently laid him on the lounge chair in the waiting room. A wave of my hand a small throw blanket with candies all over it appeared. I laid it out over him. With the clap of my hands, I brought a teddy bear to life. I laid it next to him. I took a step back before feeling my mentality start to slip. My sanity leaked away at every thought that came up.

 _This is all your fault Jack, if you would've stayed none of this would've happened…_ I looked to the nurses' station. The woman had her head deep within a book, not caring of the sorrow that was around her. I turned to the door Calen was sitting outside of. I reached out pulling the handle down, and I entered. The smell that hit me first was of blood. Thick, congealed blood.

I walked further in the plain white room, a curtain was pulled around the bed. I knew it was her, even before I saw her face. I felt it. Within my heart I felt that it was her. I walked closer, touching the white curtain I pulled it back. I let out a cry of pain at what I saw. Her head was bandaged, covering her left eye and ear. She had on a hospital gown, and I saw her arm wrapped up in a cast, as was her ankle. I bit down hard enough on my lip I drew blood.

Her red hair was matted with tangles, leaves and twists. Blood and dirt covered her beautiful swollen face. I felt sick looking at her. Her entire left side of her face was swollen black and blue. A tube was shoved down her throat, helping her breathe. Another down her nose, a machine was attached to her chest monitoring her heart. I.V bags hung on her right side. My stomach heaved as if there were a ton of bricks laying there. I attempted to open my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

I went to her side, touching her cold hand. I squeezed gently, no response. I tried again, this time softly calling out her name. Nothing. Not even eye movement. When I reached out to touch her face, her skin was frigid to the touch.

"Hey Kit Kat…" Cracking. The emotions I had tried so hard to keep in fell down my face. She made no signs of recognizing me. The machine helped her breathe. In. Out. In. Out.

Beep

Beep

Beep

"I…I…" The words were there, but I couldn't say them. I wanted too, but my tears stopped me. The swelling of my throat made me realize…I was a coward. I ran when I should've stayed. When they needed me the most I ran away; now she was lying in that hospital bed broken and alone. There was nothing I could do, I couldn't reach in and pull her out of that darkness. That was different than the one I was used to working with. I worked with nightmares, not whatever that was.

"I'm a coward…I know. I acted out of emotions. I should've stayed and listened to you Faylen. I'm sorry. I'm not a guardian angel. I'm a monster who kills out of spite. But now, even that was getting boring and dull. Then you came back into my life, sparked something deep inside me I thought I had lost." I brought her hand up, gently I rubbed my cheek against her cool skin, just to feel her touch once more.

"I should've listened…I'm sorry…I'm…I'm so, so sorry…" I kissed her hand, laying it back down on the bed gently. I could just barely hear her heart and that was thanks to the machine.

 _I can't live without you…_ I wanted to say it out loud, I wanted too…

 _Then do it._

"I…I can't live without you…immortality would not be the same without you in it…" I leaned in kissing her forehead gently.

With the clap of my hands, I brought a single stuffed cat into the room. Placing it underneath her hand, I turned away my eyes closed slowly.

"I love you…so much…" I whispered.

Two steps and I was out of the room, roaming the halls. The hustle and bustle of the hospital warped around me. I wouldn't allow them to see me, I looked at the nurse's stations, realizing they truly didn't care about the emotions around them. They had just let a child sit in the chair next to his mother's room and cry himself to sleep. I looked at an older man walking through the halls, his head bowed as he carried the IV stick with him. The world begun to feel cold again, I was feeling numb once more. I continued to maneuver around people, as I watched them my vision grew clouded and I swallowed back the pain. My heart was breaking all over again, I had failed to see from the start that I was in love with her. From the very beginning. I closed my eyes.

…

 _Sitting in the darkest corner of the box, I watched as children ran passed me. Ignoring the good old Laughing Jack in the box. Hoping someone would give me a chance, take me out and let me play. I wanted to show them games, games no one else would ever see. I sighed, I laid my chin against my knees. Watching as the years passed by._

 _Finally, bright green eyes stared at me. A woman hollering at a little girl to be careful. Warm hands wrapped around the sides of my box. I watched as a little girl lifted me up and hugged me tight to her chest. My head picked up slightly._

I've been so alone…could she be…?

 _She was running to the front counter, the man told the older woman it was okay. The woman gave a nod. The little girl squealed with joy._

" _Now, now Faylen, are you sure you want that old antique?" The older woman asked._

Yes. Yes, please keep me… _My eyes lit up as I watched. The little girl gave a big smile, her front teeth missing. My heart warmed._

" _Yes, I want this mommy." She had replied in the sweetest voice I had ever heard._

" _Alright hon. But remember, antiques take a lot of care, and love." The woman spoke softly, but…she sounded so tired. I nearly jumped with joy as the little girl carried me for a long time. The woman had knelt next to her speaking in such whispered tones, I couldn't hear her. Then the little girl was running, running as fast as she could to catch up. She placed me down for a moment._

" _I'll be back okay? I love you!" She squealed._

She loves me? An old Laughing-Jack-In-The-Box? _I thought, I tilted my head in wonderment. After a few minutes, I heard her little feet run to the front door. Slamming it open, she grabbed me wrapping me in her little arms; hugging me to her chest she started crying._

What's wrong new friend? _I wanted to speak but I couldn't she hadn't set me free from my prison yet. She was screaming for help, that her mommy had an accident. She kept running as fast and far as her little legs can take her. I was confused as to what was going on._

Oh, my new friend is sad… _A few more people were screaming, talking and crying. I was once again set back down somewhere._

" _No! I want my Jack in the Box!" The little girl screeched. Hands lifted me up, and I felt myself be thrashed around._

" _Stop! You're going to hurt him!" She screamed. Once more I was in her soft warm arms. More muffled voices then silence. I was sitting in silence for I don't know how long, I started to believe I was left behind once more._

 _But those little warm hands moved my handle, she played my song. And I popped out._

" _Come one, come all whether big or small! To see the best clown of them all! The one the only Laughing-Jack-In-The-Box!" The girls frown slowly turned into a small smile. She giggled at the sight of me, I handed her a piece of her favorite candy, orange cream. Her bright green eyes lit up and it made my heart warm._

" _What's your name kit Kat?" I asked, her lips curled into a smile at the sweet taste of the candy._

" _My name's Faylen. Yours is Jack?" She asked, her eyelashes were still wet from tears, her chubby face red and her eyes swollen. I knelt and gave a big bright smile. She reached out and wrapped her arms around my neck. She hugged me tightly._

" _I needed a friend…" He buried her face in the crook of my neck._

I was going to kill her… _I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to my body._

…

Opening my eyes, I pushed the third floor on the elevator. I looked up watching the numbers count down. The doors cracked open, I was greeted with the bright white light.

…

 _She held my hand as we walked through the carnival, she was oohing and awing at the lions. She was turning thirteen at the end of the week, and she still held my hand tighter than before. As if she feared I would disappear._

I would never do such a thing to you… _I thought. I interlocked fingers with her as she walked with me. She stopped at her favorite place, the fried pickle on a stick. She had blossomed into a beautiful young teenager. She bit down on the pickle, grease covered her face and chin. I started to laugh, gently wiping it away._

" _You know your hair is growing back out to red." Chomp, another bite._

" _What?" I chuckled._

" _Yeah, and your eyes have a hint of blue in them." Chomp. Chew. Chew. Swallow. I chuckled at her silliness. Before shaking my head lightly._

" _No seriously, it suits you." Her green eyes turned to me. Her thumb rubbed the back of my hand. I looked back down at her, her bright green eyes glimmered. My heart pitter pattered. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly._

I'm getting too attached. _I thought. She leaned in lightly._

" _Jack, do you think someone will ever love me?" She asked, I turned to look at her giving a sharp look._

" _What are you talking about? Aren't you too young to think about things like that?" I asked, the sharpness in my tone made her look at me. She looked at the pickle half eaten she tossed it to the side as if she didn't want any more to deal with it._

" _I get teased that I'm ugly all the time…" She made a face, not letting my hand go._

Assholes… _I thought, I normally never curse but…_

" _I was just wondering is all."_ _I watched her cheeks get rosy, I turned away from her._

No. No. Bad. Bad. _I kept looking away from her._

" _You think I'm, pretty right?" She asked me, taken off guard by how blunt her question was, I looked back at her._

" _Toots!" I gasped out. She gave a shrug._

" _Not like anyone would fall in love with an orphan like me." She blew a raspberry. Walking over to the roller coaster. I was stunned by her questions._

" _Where are these questions coming from Toots?" I asked, she looked at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen in my life. It made my heart hurt._

" _Well, I was just reading again." She had let go of my hand to flop down on the bench. She swung her legs. She wore a skirt today with a cute black jacket. She looked me over tilting her head to the side._

" _I just…can't believe someone would love me…" She started to hang her head._

" _Faylen, you're twelve." I spoke up, her eyes lifted from her shoes to me. Something within her eyes told me she was hiding something from me._

" _No actually I'm not…" She spoke up, she sighed softly._

" _I'm turning sixteen. I've lied about my age for years, so I can get adopted." Her eyes looked back down, my heart running wild in my chest._

" _But…" I started. She gave a shrug._

" _It's stupid I know…I just…wanted to stay here for as long as I can. I know this place is for children only." She played with her fingers slightly. Something I've noticed she does a lot of._

" _Faylen…" My voice was firm._

" _I'm sorry Jack…please don't kick me out!" Her eyes swelled up with tears. I walked over to sit next to her. Her hand reached out and took mine._

" _What if I told you another secret?" She looked at me, her head slightly tilted._

Oh boy…this isn't good…

" _What kind of secret?" I continued._

" _What if I told you deep down, I've never believed in love, till I met someone?" She gave that sly smile I was so used to seeing._

" _Oh…you met someone that you like?" Her eyes perked up as she heard the slight disappointment within my voice._

" _Yeah!" Carnival music played in the background slowly fading out. I made a face that made her giggle._

" _Someone I've known for, forever…someone who's never left me out in the cold." She was scooting closer. My heart leapt in my throat, the way her eyes laid on me made me melt._

" _And who is that?" I asked, she leaned forward. She started closing her eyes, and I froze in my spot. Her soft full lips pressed against mine, and I fell into it. Her lips were warm, soft and tasted like warm cotton candy. I felt her smile against my lips, she giggled and I followed with a giggle back._

" _What is this feeling?" I asked her, she gave me a huge smile her face bright red. Within her eyes I saw how happy she was, truly happy._

" _Let's dance Jack. I'll sing." She stood up, handing me her hand. I took it without hesitation. She came right up to my chest, I've never danced before…but it was something I wouldn't have minded trying out. She was against me, and I could smell her. She had the lightest scent of lavender and honeysuckle. It made me feel weak._

She's so young…and I'm too attached. _I laid my cheek against the top of her head. Listening to her beautiful soulful voice._

…

"I didn't deserve her…" I whispered closing my eyes, hitting the delivery floor. I could still hear her laughter within my mind. Holding her in my arms, dancing barefooted in the grassy part of my carnival.

"She was too young to know what that feeling was…and I was too stupid to realize what it was…" I spoke to my reflection in the doors. They clicked open and I walked down the halls, turning to look at the children laying in little beds. I kept moving further down the hall, looking for a specific room. The pain in my chest grew with each step. I knew she wouldn't have had a normal life. She knew it too…and she took the chance…she took the chance…

…

" _What do you mean we can't be together?!" She screamed at me, I turned around screaming back at her._

" _You're a human! I'm a homicidal child eating, butchering clown!" Tossing my hands in the air I scoffed._

" _I'm getting too close to you Faylen! This isn't right, this isn't normal!" I watched her wince in pain._

" _You were the only one there for me when no one else was Jack!" She stepped up, her hands reached out to touch me and I took a step back._

" _No toot's this isn't happening. It's not going to happen. I just can't." I kept shaking my head, she made her eyes wide again and poked out her lip._

" _Don't give me that!" I snapped at her, trying to stay mad._

" _No! You're not going to throw me away like I'm trash!" She stomped her foot._

" _I'm not throwing you away Faylen! We don't belong together, you deserve a human man, who can give you a marriage and babies and all that good stuff!" I was pacing, and she crossed her arms. She had her hair braided, random curls fell over her freckled face. She wore a green sundress that complimented her skin tone. It showed off her blossoming body, and I had to look away from her._

" _You don't love me Faylen. You don't." I turned to look at her. The pain in her eyes hurt me._

" _What are you talking about? I do love you!" She stepped up to me._

" _I love you more than life itself Jack." Her voice grew soft, her eyes casted to the ground._

" _I've loved you since I was a child. I just didn't know it then." I turned around to her._

" _That's because you were a child. A child Faylen. Someone who wouldn't understand that kind of stuff." I sighed rubbing my temple._

" _You don't love me Faylen. That's that. You're infatuated with me." I tried from a different approach. Her face went dead, her eyes empty._

" _You're telling me, you didn't feel what I felt when you kissed me?" She asked, I shook my head slowly._

Lies. You're lying to her.

" _No Faylen, I didn't I felt nothing in that kiss we shared." I took a deep breath, hoping she fell for it. Her eyes swelled._

" _You're lying to me, I can tell you are." Her fists were clenched._

" _Are you trying to make me hate you…? Why…?" She walked to me, her eyes round and staring right through my soul. I tried making words._

" _Faylen I…you…this…we…" I shook my head._

" _We can't. I can't get attached to you. I kill children, I torture them for_ fun _." I emphasized the word. And she shook her head slowly._

" _Don't make me…" I didn't want too…_

" _Don't make you do what?" She was challenging me…something I loved the most about her._

" _Hurt you…" I whispered, she walked up to me._

" _You wouldn't dare." She snapped. I took a deep breath looking down at her, emptying all sense of the word 'emotion' from my eyes and face._

" _For your protection, yes I would." I breathed out, leaning down I captured the back of her head with my hand. I pulled her in, I left a feathered kiss on her lips._

" _I love you, but we can't be together…I'd suggest you run little darling…and run as fast as you can."_

…

I reached forward pushing Mrs. Myu's door open. She was sitting up holding the baby against her breast. The little girl was suckling, and her own eyes were wide open and blood shot. Swollen from crying, and the face of a broken-hearted mother. I couldn't sympathize considering. When she heard me enter she turned to look at me. Her brows knitted together in confusion, then fear entered them. She was about to scream when I opened my mouth.

"My name is Jack. Are you Mrs. Myu?" I asked, her body went cold. Her eyes lost all light.

"Oh god…is Fay alright?" She asked, the moment she said her name, the tears came and refused to stop.

"He did a number to her. She's hooked up to a breathing machine, heart monitor, and a feeding tube." The fear within her eyes fell to sorrow.

"What are you?" She whispered to me. I stepped in further.

"What am I?" I repeated the question. I was never asked outright who I was, or what I was. I stood there by her bedside, unsure of how to answer.

"You're my Fay's boyfriend, right? The one Calen's been talking non-stop about?" She had a sad smile against her lips.

"The friend she fought with when she was younger?" It seemed she already knew a lot about me.

"I've lost my babies tonight…they can't find Stu…I just had a baby…and now Fay is…Fay might not make it…" He chins trembled, and her tears fell down her face.

"You know, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have found her." She gave me a look.

"She was a child when she fell in love with you Jack. I saw it every time she woke up. She missed you something terrible. She wouldn't go out to find someone else. She refused too…she loved you. She wanted you to be her one." She leaned her head back, letting out a soft sob.

"God…why her? She's so innocent…" She closed her eyes, I allowed her to speak.

"Why my babies? They've done no harm…why our help? I've loved them just like family." Her red eyes turned onto me.

"What are you? I know you're not normal…" Myu didn't even wipe away her tears. I cleared my throat.

"I'm a monster ma'am. A monster that fell in love with an angel…a cowardly one at best…I…" I tried clearing my throat again, but it didn't work the lump was still there.

"If I lose her, I might as well lose my sanity all over again." When she gave me that look, I sighed?

"I'm a homicidal clown who kills children for fun." The fear didn't return she just stared at me. As if she was staring through me, and not actually looking at me.

"You find him Jack, and you make him pay…he's not done. He'll come back and get Calen. I know he would." She sat up a little.

"I've been working for the CIA for the longest time, trying to catch the modern day Gacy. Little did I know he was my own husband, living under my roof, making love to me and I having his children." She rocked baby girl a little while she ate.

"If he gets Calen…I swear to god I'll lose my shit…" She whispered, the lump back in her throat.

"Just like if I lose Fay…" She looked at me, her voice dropping.

"If he kills Calen…that'll be the end of your woman Jack…that I know…" She looked to Baby Girl.

"You know what I named her Jack?" I shook my head slowly.

"Arora Faylen. Faylen's her godmother. It's the least I could do…" She pulled the sleeping child away from her breast and covered herself. She looked to Arora and then to me.

"Go ahead, hold your godchild." She lifted her arms out holding the child. I shook my head.

"I can't- "She interrupted me.

"You can, and you will. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you." She ordered. Freezing for a moment, I reached out to take the child. I looked down into the scrunched up little face. Hands into fists balled up near her face. It was a little strange holding a newborn. The hunger pangs were light enough I could handle it. I looked back at Mrs. Myu before handing her the baby back.

"You find him, and you make him pay…but for now…go be with Calen. He needs you more than anyone right now." Myu leaned back into her bed, the baby laying on her chest. I just stood there, seeing the beautiful moment between mother and child. For the first time since becoming a hollowed-out clown. I felt a seed be planted within my chest, something that had felt like hope.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine:

Darkest Night

I pulled the blanket around my body tighter, cotton candy lingered on the fabric. Burying my face into the stuffed teddy bear I breathed in the sweet smell. Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to allow them to fall. When I opened my eyes again, all I felt was a deep underlying hatred for Stu. I squeezed the bear tighter than before. The anger replaced my tears and my heart started racing. I couldn't help but think of all the things I was going to do to him…I was trembling, trembling with fear and anger. I couldn't believe what had happened with my mom…she was lying in that bed, when it was supposed to be me.

 _Why did you have to be hurt? Why couldn't have been me?_

This time the tears came, and they fell. My eyes were hurting, my nose was red. All I did was burry my face into my stuffed animal that I knew daddy gave me, to help me feel better. I didn't want to feel better. I wanted to get even, I wanted to kill _him_ I wanted to kill Stu for what he did.

 _What happened to mommy won't go unpunished._

A warm hand touched the back of my head. I lifted my face and I felt a small smile play across my lips. Daddy's cold blue eyes shone with unshed tears. I saw the hatred within them, just like he saw it within mine.

"Dad…" I whispered.

He sat down next to me, pulling me into his embrace. I had never wanted to be held as much as I did now. I felt empty. Numb and perhaps even a little hollow. But his embrace brought the anger back, worse than before. The bear dropped to the floor as I held onto him, my head on his shoulder, I whispered within my father's ear.

"Teach me how to kill dad."

He remained silent as he held me, I held onto him as if my life depended on it.

"Why?" He asked, his hand rubbing my back.

"So, I can kill him, for what he did to our family. To mom." His hand stalled at the back of my head. He held me there for a moment longer before he pulled me away from him. I stared into his cold expressionless eyes, his hair had a soft red tint to it. His face a pale white while his lips had turned to an off grey with a tint of pink. I've taken note of his clothing fading to different colors. I wanted to ask him about it but he looked just as confused as I did, about everything.

"Have you had a chance to see your mother?" He asked me. I shook my head slowly.

"They've called Child Protective Services, told me that they would be here shortly." I casted a low look to the ground.

"They're going to take me away from mom and you." His grip on my shoulders grew tight, worried.

"No, they won't. I won't allow them to take you away from me…just like I won't allow your mother to leave us." The sudden joy that spread through my body shocked me. I looked at him, at his face and I felt a sudden burst of love, of passion I had never felt before. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I hugged him as tight as I could.

"You should go see your mom." He whispered into my ear.

"She's worse for wear, but I promise it'll help in her recovery." I nodded against his shoulder. I was tired, I wanted to sleep…but I had other things that needed to be handled. Dad stood holding me in his strong arms. He opened mom's door, and I didn't like the smell that stayed in the sterile air. It was like a mixture of blood and dirt with a chemical cleaning solution in it. Jack lowered me to the floor, I turned to look at mom and my throat went tight. She laid there, tubes and everything else was hooked up to her. The heart machine beeped, her chest rose and fell with help. I was shaking my head, I didn't understand what was going on.

"Dad, why isn't she awake?" I asked him. He stood there gently pushing me forward.

"It's scaring me…" I whispered. I looked back at him, his face was grim mouth set into a frown. He crossed his arms. When I turned to look back to my mom. I wanted to shake her to wake her up. Her beautiful face was wrapped up in a bandage. Her left eye and ear covered with cotton. Her arm was up in a sling, her ankle was too. I walked up to the bed she laid out on, I gently touched her side.

"Mom?" My voice fell flat. She didn't move.

"Dad…why isn't mom moving?" I turned to look at him. His eyes were glistening.

"Because she's sleeping." He replied. When I looked back to her, I shook my head slowly. A choked sob came from my chest.

"Dad…she's not breathing on her own is she…?" I asked. Jack let out a slow sigh.

"No, she's not. The machine is helping her." He walked up to me, his hand gently touching my shoulder.

"Mom…?" I croaked. She didn't move.

"Mommy…?" I went to her, I touched her arm softly. The cat stuffy underneath her was clutched in her hand.

"Mommy…? Please give me something to let me know, you can hear me…" Her finger lightly twitched. Her eyes rolled and the side of her cheek twitched. She went still, I whimpered.

"Mommy…please fight…please, Jack and I need you with us." Taking her hand into mine giving a light squeeze. The lighting arced across the sky, rain slapped against the window pane.

"I'll kill him mom. I promise Stu won't live another day." Her body went limp, her breathing mechanical. My eyes watered over, shoulders trembled. I wanted to wrap my hands around Stu's neck and choke the last breath out of him.

 _I'll kill him, I'll kill him with my own two hands._

…

Calen's body trembled when he saw Faylen laying there. She made some movements of recognition. Nothing more. I touched his shoulder, Calen turned around and buried his face deep into my stomach. I heard his cries, the pain in his voice as he spoke to his practically brain-dead mother. I overheard the doctors talking about her, how the blow cracked her skull, and fractured her eye socket. Chances are, she would've been blinded by the blow. Broken wrist, sprained ankle and bleeding within her brain. The medication she was on kept her sedated. Holding Calen close to my body, his trembling finally ceased; his sobbing became soft coughing. Snot laid against my clothing and I didn't care.

 _I'm not going to allow those people to take him away from me…I must take him somewhere, where he would be safe._

Sighing I pulled him away.

"Calen? Calen listen to me." His face lifted to me, green eyes rimmed red and swollen. His bottom lip still trembled.

 _Zalgo…this child has been through so much…_

Squaring my shoulders, I gently rubbed his cheeks.

"Tell me where the last place you saw Stu at." He started to slowly shake his head.

"In the woods behind the mansion." I took a deep breath in.

 _He could be anywhere by now…_ I gave Calen another look.

"Do you remember how you got there?" I asked again. He shook his head no again.

"No, I just followed mom's cries and I found them. It was near a river, I know that much." It wasn't much but it was something…

 _Alright…time to play this right._

"Alright, keep my box close to you Calen. You need to stay here, wait for those people. And when you need me, you know what to do." Calen's eyes widened and filled with worry.

"But I don't want to be taken away from you or mommy!" He cried out. I gave him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder.

"I'll come for you, I promise." I gave him the best smile I could, the look on his face made me smile more.

"Why are your teeth back to normal?" He asked me.

"You know Calen, I'm not too sure…but I like it." When I pulled away he held my hand tighter than before.

"Please come back, for me and mom…" His eyes…his beautiful green eyes that looked like Faylen's made my heart shudder.

"I promise gummy bear. I won't ever leave you two." I pulled away. I had a deep feeling, something was wrong, and already the forces were working against me. But with his eyes against my back, I had to have some hope left.

…

I rocked back and forth on the bed. I used the little bit of money I had left to grab a room. Even then my sanity kept leaking. I wanted to find Calen, I wanted to kill him. Finish off what I had started. This has gotten too out of hand. Too many people knew what I had done. Myu was still alive, Faylen was in the hospital.

 _I don't know if she's going to make it, or if she's going to stay brain dead. I hit her damn hard. Then there's that clown…that creepy fucking clown. Was that the 'Jack' that Faylen had been seeing for the last few weeks?_

I laid back on the bed, naked and shaking. My shoulder kept throbbing. It hurt, the boy was a shit shot though. It had missed my shoulder completely and just grazed my skin. I rubbed my sore shoulder. It hurt like hell; don't get me wrong I swore I saw my life flash before my eyes. Just in those few moments I believed I was going to die.

That was until I woke back up, and I was here. In this hotel room, with thoughts racing through my head…I could see everything with Myu, my children…

 _I killed them. I killed my own children. They're all dead, and I'm here…on the run, thinking about the next move. Who should I go after next? The child? Myu and the new baby? Or finish off Faylen? Either way…I must do something, and something before they decide to come after me._ I sat back up on the bed, head throbbing. My temples pounding with my heart.

 _It could be all the heroin I shot up. My chest hurts…_

I pushed myself off the bed, getting up and walking to the bathroom. I needed a shower, I stunk…

 _What are you thinking about doing Stu? I thought you wanted to be just like me, family wipe outs are nothing. Go for something fresher, something more…tasteful._

Brows knitting together, I was slightly confused.

 _Tasteful? What are you talking about Gacy?_ I asked, I rubbed my face. Blood flaked off and fell onto the white carpet. Red rubies crystalizing on the snow-white fabric. My vision blurred.

 _The clown, kill the clown. If you do that, you'll take down the family roots. Did you forget about that?!_ The anger within John's voice made me flinch. I felt like I had failed my mentor.

 _I'm sorry! I didn't mean to disappoint you! Please forgive me…_ My palms covered my face, I cried.

"I didn't mean to fail you." When I lifted my face, I saw the reflection of myself. I looked disgusting.

 _First thing's first, you need to clean yourself up. Take a shower, fresh clothes and find the boy. The boy is the key to the clown. Faylen, we don't have to worry about any time soon. She's out like a light._ I nodded. I nodded to my mentor. He was right, all I needed was to listen to him, calmly and to think it out. It wasn't serious…none of this was serious. I just needed to get my brain back in the game.

 _You shouldn't have shot up when you did. It made your homicides that much bloodier. Messy. Disgusting._ I winced again. I hated hearing him scream at me for my mistakes.

 _I'm sorry I didn't mean to be such a failure…I've tried, I've tried so hard to gain your acceptance._ I leaned forward, the tears were coming I felt the choking sensation within my throat. My eyes burnt beyond belief.

 _I've never accepted you, you've been a failure since the first time I saw you. I had high hopes that you wouldn't screw up my reputation and you did. Now look at you, covered in blood, sitting on a hotel bed. Taking a DNA bath. What are you going to do now? Burn the entire place down?!_ John was screaming in my head. I wanted to scream back. It wasn't my fault…

 _It's not my fault John. I swear to god, it wasn't my fault. I wasn't expecting to fall in love with Myu and had children. I wasn't expecting any of this to happen…and then that girl. That damned girl came into our lives. Faylen…her and her child. What was I to do? I was trapped, and I wanted her. I wanted her so bad…_ I lifted my face, getting on my feet I shuffled to the bathroom.

 _What were you going to do? Stu, you are a fucking moron, you should've ran when you had a chance. Serial killers are all about strategy. Not this, kill when you can kill bull! I had so much more hope in you…I had prayed that you would've done better…I'm so disappointed in you…_

I went into the bathroom, turning the water on as hot as I could make it. When I stepped in the water scorched my skin. I cried out, feeling the sudden rush of adrenalin shoot through me. Eyes opened wide I allowed the water to run over my skin, shivering at the sudden rush. I turned, water hitting my face. I sighed.

 _I'll make things better John, I promise._ Placing my head against the cool wall. My temples throbbed harder than before. I didn't want anything more than to make John happy, to show him that I could be the perfect copycat killer.

"I was wrong, I was wrong about everything…" hatred, real hatred filled my chest. There was only one thing to do, the only thing I could think of doing.

"Calen, here I come."

…

Floating…I was floating into the abyss of darkness. I was deaf, blind, and mute. No matter how hard I tried to maneuver through it, I would end up nowhere. I wanted my son, I wanted Calen, and I wanted him now. The fear I felt was unreal. My head ached, and I hated the smell that surrounded me. I didn't know what was going on around me. At one point, I heard Calen talking to Jack…then he was talking to me. That…that was it. That was all I could remember.

Where was I anyway?

 _I don't know where I am…or why I can't move…I don't…I don't get it._

I tried moving my mouth, something was blocking my mouth.

 _Am I dead?_

That question sent me spiral further into the darkness, floating there, as if I was treading water. So, what if I was?

 _Wouldn't Jack take care of Calen? He loves him…why wouldn't he?_

Someone was squeezing my hand, the murky darkness moved from my face. I could see the outline of light…then it was gone. Freedom was gone…seeing my son, and my lover's face. Was gone.

 _Why can't I wake up?! Please! Please wake up Faylen! Your son needs you, your lover needs you!_

The screaming in my brain did nothing. Choking, I was choking…the darkness pulled me back under.

" _Hello little boy…"_ A voice.

A singular voice I've heard before.

" _Oh, lookie here. It seems mommy knows my voice."_ It wasn't fair! I couldn't even protect my own child!

 _Come on body! Fucking move!_ I shouted into the darkness, my body refused to move.

" _Come here Calen."_ He was growing near, I wanted to scream in the world, I wanted to grab Calen and run, I couldn't…I couldn't…

" _Mommy!"_ Calen screamed at the top of his lungs…

Glass.

I heard the shattering of glass…

 _Jack…please find him before it's too late…_ I prayed. Deep within my heart I prayed that he would come to the rescue like he always did. Calen wouldn't live without Jack…nor me.

 _Come on…come on…just open your eyes…_

Cool wind brushed across my face I could smell the scent of fresh rain and the scent of pine. Within the swirling night air there was just a hint of bloody cotton candy.

…

He was on the move, he had Calen, I wouldn't have allowed him to carry too far away from me. Calen's scream sent a chill down my spine. The moment I walked through the door, I saw the glass shards spread over the tiled floor. Faylen was moaning, trying to wake up from the medically induced coma. The moment Calen disappeared through the glass window, all I saw was a man, naked and laughing. I walked over the shards of glass, to the window. The lightening danced through the stormy night, the wind blew across my face. I stared down into the inky blackness of the world underneath me. How Stu managed to grab Calen and leave, was beyond me. Her eyes were watching me, I knew they were. When I turned to look at her hospital bed. Faylen's one good eye was open, and she was watching me. Tears fell down her cheek, she knew what had happened to Calen. As if on que her hospital door swung wide open. They couldn't see me. The doctors nor the nurses. I wouldn't allow them. Not yet at least.

I had to get my son back. For Faylen, and myself.

Nurses and Doctors surrounded Faylen in wonderment, how she had broken through the coma without them bringing her out. The questions, and she refused to answer. She only looked at me, and I looked at her.

"I'll bring him back toots, I promise." Purple smoke filled the room, nurses were screaming. Alarms were blaring.

Frigid rain embraced my form, lightening danced across the skies illuminating the tree tops. I watched the ground underneath me had become slick from the pouring rain. Hair clung to my cheeks and face. I kept walking ahead of me, boots becoming covered in mud. Through the silence that surrounded me within the dense forestry, the rain fell with such ease covering me, my clothing and all that was around me. My heart became regular, my breathing slow. With the flash of lightening, thunder followed. Wind kissed the trees making a softer rustling. As I opened my mouth clouds of white followed. I shivered with the kisses of wind. Nothing else was making a sound, I could hear nothing other than the rain; no matter how hard I strained my ears…I couldn't make out a sound.

With my eyes closed, trying hard as I might…just the wind sung through the trees. I kept moving forward; the night sky opened, rain came down in sheets, with the wind blowing it felt as if shards of glass were piercing my skin.

"Calen!" I screamed.

My voice was carried in the wind, taken away, shoved somewhere else. My hands grew cold, my body grew cold. The wind whipped harder than before, I closed my eyes at the sudden stinging sensation shooting across my body.

The impact that hit my chest knocked the wind out of me; collapsing to the ground I started to cough.

"Finally, I find you, you fucking clown!" Venom leaked from every syllable. Holding my chest, I lifted my head, rain water had blinded my sight.

"You look a bit different clown. Losing some of your nerve?" He was walking around me, sizing me up. Whatever he struck me with, hurt like a mother trucker…as the lightening stuck I saw that cold, crazy smirk. I grasped my chest getting to my feet.

Another hard blow, this time it was across my face. I fell forward into the mud, my jaw ached. Worse than my chest.

"Where's Calen your sick fuck?" I snapped, the man's sick grin grew wide.

"Oh? That little brat, he's been…disposed of." He walked around me again, stopping before me. He raised a black mass above his head.

I reacted.

Springing to action I tackled him, he smelt of fresh blood and earth. The moment he fell on the ground I went for his face. My blades for fingers raking across his cheek. He brought his knee up getting me right in my groin. Spots filled my vision and I grunted. I still held onto him, forcing him to stay where he was.

"Tell me where he is!" I screamed, Stu started cackling, cackling worse than I ever could.

"He's dead ol' Jackie boy!" He screamed back.

"He's gone. Poof. A ghostigoo!" He kept going on and on and on. I drowned him out with the sweet, soothing sounds of rolling thunder, and cascading rain.

The rain hid tears of hatred.

The rain hid tears of sorrow.

The rain hid tears of loss…

The rain hid tears of failure.

"You lair!" I screamed, lightening arced across the sky. I got right into his face, I saw the insanity within those dilated pupils.

"I don't lie. He's buried deep. Deep within the forest. You'll never, ever find his body." He cackled, eyes rolling around his head. I grasped his hair pulling as hard as I could, I pushed him back down. Beating his head against the ground.

"Tell me." I did it again.

He laughed.

"Tell me." Smash.

He laughed louder.

"God damn it, tell me where my son is!" I hollered. My throat started to become raw, shouting over the sheets of rain. Finally, I cracked his skull open the warmth of his blood flowing into the palm of my hand made me groan.

"Give. Me. My. Child…" My breathing was heavy, while Stu still giggled.

"Your child? You're not that child's father. You never will be. She's a whore, she always will be. Flaunting her fat ass in that little outfit, that my wife so happily gave her." He was lifting his head, I got off him. The anger pulsated through my body. Stu, reached over to his right side pulling a mud covered Laughing Jack in the Box. My eyes widened, and I felt a smile play across my lips.

 _Finally, something going my way…_ I watched him look it over.

"I never understood why Calen carried this ugly ass thing around…" He took hold of the handle, he slowly moved it. He went faster, faster, till-

I grabbed him as the box popped open, wrapping the ribbons around his upper body, I pulled him through the box with me. Deeper, and deeper down the rabbit hole we went. His screams made me happy, no... much more than happy. They made me ecstatic. Finally, he was going into _my_ world.

The skies were a bit lighter yet it stilled rained. I landed upon my feet, while I watched him fall on to the ground his body bounced twice off the asphalt. I watched as he landed right at my feet. Crossing my arms, I looked down at him with a big grin. Stu groaned he kept his head against the wet asphalt, leaning over him, my giggle turned into a small laugh.

"Welcome to my little hell Stu!" Opening my arms, I pointed around the dark carnival. Stu lifted his head his eyes widened staring at me. I felt the fear radiating off him.

"This is my home!" Standing, I walked around him. Placing my foot in between his shoulder blades, I gave a little push.

"Where. Is. My. Son?" Placing a little more pressure he screamed.

"Where's my son?!" I screeched.

Shadows shifted, little bodies began to crawl from the corners of my home. Stu kept looking back and forth. My children started reaching out to him, mumbling incoherently.

"A…ah…" He mumbled. He was trying desperately to crawl away from him, my smile turned into a frown.

"Oh no, this just won't do…Children! Daddy needs you to take this gentlemen to the tent." Stu's head turned the look of terror within his eyes showed, he did fear me.

"You're such a tiny little man…taking my job away from me." Lifting my foot off his back, Stu attempted to crawl away, small hands grasped his shirt forcing him back down to the asphalt.

"Make sure he feels every little thing children. I want him to know who's the real devil." I cracked another smile, watching my children of the damned drag Stu into the darkness, of my home. My tent.

"If you do this, I won't tell you where Calen is!"

I gave Stu a look, anger flooded my veins.

"You're going to tell me where he is, one way or another. Whether it be by force, or just by telling me." I followed close behind cackling. Stu's face froze.

"You're going to kill me either way, aren't you?" He whispered, taking a deep breath, I smiled.

"You'll only die, if I allow you too. That could mean many things…but I'll get the answer I wish just by merely showing you, what I can do." The children opened the flaps of the tent, yanking Stu with them. No matter how much he fussed, kicked, or screamed they held on tight to him. I lifted my chin in pride. I knew this was going to be difficult. I planned for it. Following behind the children, I watched them put him up on the chair, tying him down.

"Make sure he's down nice and tight. I don't want him trying to rip his skin apart." The children nodded.

Cracking my neck, I watched him squirm. My eyes landed on his face, he looked me over.

"No wonder she fucked a clown. You're just as crazy as she is." He started to crack a grin.

"Her son's a little psycho. You know, that right? The shit he said about you, I never believed till I found that box. I snatched it right from his little hands." Stu ran his tongue over his teeth hissing.

"I loved watching him squirm as I wrapped my fingers around his little throat and pushed. I pushed just enough to watch his face turn blue, and his lips turn white…the way their eyes look when you're strangling them…mm…" He moaned, rolling his head side to side.

"They look like grapes you're about to pop." Stu's face contorted in pleasure.

"His screams Jackie Boy…they made me jizz my pants." Stu looked at me, his lips dried and cracked he gave a bright smile.

"How was it?" He asked, I snapped my fingers.

"Children, I need my toys." I turned away from him, I didn't wish to hear his mouth any longer.

"How was fucking Faylen? Was she as tight as she looks? Hmmm?" He groaned, I felt a chill shoot through my spine.

"I've always wanted to feel her myself y'know? Slit her throat, ear to ear and fuck her skull." He started to laugh.

"Do you know, how good it'll feel? Just slam your cock deep inside her jaw? I've done it once to one of my students- "

I turned around.

"Would you shut the fuck up?! I kill children for a living, and you make me sick! How dare you speak like that about women?" I watched him blink a few times before laughing.

"Am I getting under your skin talking about your little pet like that?" he wiggled within the chair.

"Is this really all you have to offer? You're supposed to be an insane clown. I'm so scared." He was mocking me. He was fucking mocking me…

 _You sick mother fucker…_

The children pushed a cart to the center of the tent. Staring directly into Stu's eyes, he leaned back in the chair as if bored.

"Entertain me clown." His eyes watched me carefully.

"I'll be honored…John Wayne Gacy wannabe."

His eyes narrowed, the side of his mouth ticked.

 _Hit a nerve. Good._

I started to cackle, louder looking at all my beautiful toys. The light hit my instruments just right making a soft glittering. My eyes watered at just how beautiful they were, I took a moment to enjoy them.

"Which one…which one…which one…" I stopped at a small, dull, serrated knife. Once I looked to Stu, a small glimmer of hesitation flashed in his eyes.

"Last chance wannabe…where's my son?" I tossed the knife up and down, catching it every time. Stu lifted his chin in a challenge. I gave a shrug.

My hand wrapped around his jaw, forcing his head to the side, I brought the knife down to his chest running it over.

And over.

And over.

The blade ripped into his skin, pulling and tearing at his flesh. His screams filled my ears as I laughed at his misery.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" I pushed harder, digging deeper. I watched Stu grind his teeth together.

"Gonna have to do better than that clown." His eyes were telling a different story. Pain radiated from his brown hues. A little more, just a little harder of a push…

 _Come on mother fucker, tell me where my child is._

Running the blade down to his stomach, I forced him to look right at me. I stared into his eyes, I leaned heavier into it. He grunted.

"I can do this all day." I pushed heavier, there were tears within his eyes.

"Well, Calen doesn't have all day…does he?" Stu's voice was fading in and out, he was starting to go into shock.

…

I was freezing, the rain kept pummeling me the wind was so bad I thought it would lift my small body up and chuck me like trash. I had to stay on the stool, if I moved at all I would slip and fall. The necklace around my throat was too tight…when I heard Jack shout out my name I couldn't say anything. The wood on the stool started to get wetter as moments passed. I couldn't control the trembling anymore. It was getting harder to breathe. I was blinded by the rain, I stared out into the deepest pits of hell.

"I can't do this anymore…I'm so tired…" Tears warmed my cheeks, I started to lean forward. My knees were just about to give out, the stool underneath me wobbled. I brought my face back up, staring into the darkness.

"Please, someone find me...I want to give up so bad." I couldn't move my hands, they were bound at the wrists behind my back, my fingers felt numb. The necklace was too tight I could almost feel my eyes start to bug out.

 _Dad…mom…please, just someone come and find me. I don't know how much longer I can stand up on this thing…_

From my tip toes, I tried laying my feet down flat. Each time the stool wobbled a bit more to the side and the necklace got tighter. My calves were screaming, my legs grew fatigued. I kept watching the lightening arc across the black skies. The only way I could see out of this…the only way I can escape…

 _Would be to die…could I do this? How much longer…how much longer…_

My thoughts were becoming muddled.

 _Mom…mom forgive me. I know I wasn't the perfect son. I know I didn't clean my room as often as you wanted me to. I wasn't always there when you needed me. I hope Jack can protect you better than I did…I…_

My knee buckled underneath me, a small scream escaped my throat. I felt air underneath me, my whole world started to turn. Feet swayed underneath me, the necklace wrapped tight around my small throat.

"Mom…! Mom…!" I cried out, flailing my body the best I could. Air slowly escaped my lungs, each time I try to take a breath in, nothing filled my lungs.

"Mommy…!" Tears escaped from the corners of my eyes, I tried to watch the lightening play tag with each other.

 _I love you mommy…_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten:

Nightingale

I watched the rain fall in sheets against the window. The storm raged on outside, the tears came from my only good eye I had left. Underneath my hands laid the stuffed cat I won from the dark carnival. Doctors came, doctors left, shrinks came, shrinks left. I just wanted my son and Jack. I wanted them to come back to me, happy and healthy. I wanted my little family to be stronger than ever. The moment I looked away from the darkness outside was from someone else walking into my room. My eyes shifted and I saw him.

A rather tall, handsome man. There was a presence surrounding him that made me feel…different. He was silent as he entered my room. He had neon colored eyes, he held no smile, his hair was black streaked red. His chin was rounded, jaw chiseled. He wasn't wet from the rain; his clothing was tight and pristine. The moment he came into the light, there was some sort of nobility about him that struck out as odd.

"Hello Faylen Snow. Do you know who I am?" His voice rang like music notes. I only shook my head slowly. On top of his head were two horns, I had no fear of him. If someone like Jack existed, I knew there were others like him.

"I'm someone everyone should fear." His tailored suit was the color of charcoal, with a blue undershirt. It looked like money…expensive. I just looked at him, silent.

"Did you know, what Jack is doing is taboo?" He walked to my bed, sitting down on the corner. His eyes traveled over me, over my skin.

"It's wrong, what he's doing…loving someone he can't kill." He tilted his head.

His face was beautiful.

Scarily beautiful. I just watched him carefully.

"Faylen, we're monsters. We're not meant to love humans. We're meant to kill them. It's not a fairytale where everyone lives happily ever after. This isn't some romance novel. This is real life. We're real…I allowed him to let you live years ago. Now, he's keeping your son alive." He gave me a sad smile.

"My patience has grown, very thin child." He reached out to touch me, I flinched. That sad smile returned.

"You've been hurt by so many…I can sense why he loves you…" He stopped, looking where my eye used to be.

"You've been through so much Faylen Snow. What you want, you can't have. It's not right." I narrowed my eyes at this man. This stranger who waltzed into my room like he was some sort of king…as if he knew what I was thinking he gave a chuckle.

"My child, if only you knew. I'm no king. I'm that which man fears. I'm the devil himself. A god if you will…" He looked at the stuffed cat.

"He really cares about you, doesn't he?" He sighed softly, he was silent for a moment.

"I invoke the hive-mind…I represent chaos, I…invoke chaos without order. I am he, who waits behind the wall…I am Zalgo. Those who gaze upon my presence, goes insane or simply dies." His smile faded.

"I create the beings like Jack. Slowly you'll lose your mind and you'll have a choice Faylen. Join me, or die. It's that simple." My chin trembled, eye filling up with tears. He just nodded.

"There we are, there's that fear I was looking for…" He was getting ready to stand.

"What about my son?" I whispered, he froze where he stood. He looked me over, a softness filled his eyes, lips turning into a smile.

"If Jack doesn't kill him, I'll take you for myself. Hell has gotten pretty lonely as of late." He raked his hands through his hair.

"If you don't come willingly, I'll take you myself. Trust me my pretty redhead, it wouldn't be pleasant. There are many, many ways I can take you…" He closed his eyes and that smile grew wide.

"I can take you by force, I can trick your mind, or…" He was coming close to me again, I could smell him. He smelt of sandalwood and an underlying scent of death. Just like Jack. I stared at him wide eyed.

"I'll make you my little marionette. It's your choice…if Jack doesn't complete what he's made for, then I'll ruin his life completely, by taking that which he cared the most for." He knelt beside me, his full lips pursing.

"I'll make his colors fade all over again Faylen…" His fingers touched my chin, and I felt myself tremble. His eyes stared through me, into my soul.

"You don't fear me…you fear for him, and your son. You're much stronger then I give you credit for. Something…most of you vile things are lacking…I might just make you my little pet, just like Jack had done." My stomached dropped, feeling my heart pound within my chest this man's eyes twisted and turned every part of my insides.

"I love Jack…" I whispered, his smile exposed white, sharp teeth.

"Faylen, I've been keeping my eye on you. There's something deep inside you, waiting to be released…you just don't see it…I do. Jack, won't allow you to let it out I know he won't…" His laugh was deep, musical. My heart leapt within my throat.

"You really think, that little piss ant could love you?" He was crawling on the bed, I wanted to move away…but I couldn't. There was something deep within him I saw, that made me want to believe what he was saying…

 _What's wrong with me?!_ My heart pitter pattered within my chest. He touched my face so gently that it made me start to close my eyes.

"There's no other choice. You want your son to live, join me Faylen. Join me and rule hell alongside me." Zalgo's voice dropped an octave, my heart fell with it.

 _Calen…Jack…_ darkness swam within my head, all I could hear was his dark voice.

"I'll make you into what you should've been, a long time ago Faylen. I'll show you, what real, true freedom feels like. I promise, I won't allow someone else to harm you, but me." I opened my eye staring at him, within those neon eyes I saw an escape…a feeling deep within my chest began blossoming. I gasped.

"I'll show you, what it feels like to have power. Over everything, and everyone…let me in Faylen. Let me in." He leaned into my lips, I fell into the sweet embrace of darkness.

…

I saw him, I saw Calen struggling for air. It took two seconds for me to grasp him from the oncoming death. He laid in my arms, gently I started shaking him.

"Calen! Calen, can you hear me?!" I shouted, he was gasping for air. His green eyes were wide, staring at me.

"D…D…Dad." He gasped out, the bruising around this throat was starting to set in. I looked from Calen to the rope that hung around the tree branch.

"I was almost too late to save you…" I brought him up, placing my forehead against his, his skin was cold and drenched from the rain. Lightening arced through the sky, his arms wrapped around me. I held him as tightly as I could, trying to warm his cold skin back up.

"I knew you'd come…I knew it…" He buried his face against my neck, he started to cry. Calen trembled against me. I knew he was frightened.

"I knew you'd save me. I tried to hold on for as long as I could." Softly I pulled him away from me, I ran my fingers over the rope burns. He winced lightly. I felt my own heart run wild in my chest, I was almost too late…I was…I was almost too late…I had almost lost him.

"How did you know where I was?" He breathed out.

"Stu had me hidden…" His eye lids were lowering.

"I'm so tired…" He laid his head against my chest, his breathing was light. Calen's heart had slowed to a normal pace. I kept him against my chest for as long as I could. I didn't want to let him go, I didn't want to feel like I had lost him all over again.

I got to my feet, keeping his small body close to mine. There was only so much more I could do. I looked to the sky, feeling the rain fall over my face, hoping for a sign. What was I, a homicidal clown supposed to do for a child who was almost murdered?

"I want momma…" He whispered. It was the least I could do. I saved this child from certain death. Two steps, purple clouds covered us. He was laying in my arms half asleep.

 _What am I going to do now? Are our lives going to be set straight now that I saved him and Faylen?_ The thought lingered within the corners of my mind, what were we going to do? Go back to normal?

 _What is normal? I came into their lives, aiming to kill the child, and I didn't. I…I felt too strongly to his loneliness to kill him…_ The halls of the hospital morphed around us, I kept my steps silent. Doors went by us, the hustle and bustle of life continued. People screamed, cried, and laughed with joy. Somewhere deep within the corners of my mind, I felt a pull...a single moment I stopped. Turning to a room, a single room…I opened the door with Calen in my arms.

 _This is where she should be..._

A step within the room, the door slammed shut behind me. I stood within the fading light, a man stood in the center of the room, his back was to me. He watched the storm rage on outside.

"So nice of you to join me Laughing Jack." His hands were behind his back, his head was held high. I kept holding Calen close to my body, the man in the tailored suit emitted a power that intimidated the ever-living hell out of me.

"You've failed Jack." The man's voice darkened, my stomach heaved.

When he turned I saw those neon eyes and that face, my body felt weak. I wanted to scream and cower in fear. It was _him_. He was standing before me, staring me down.

"Please tell me you've brought me a dead child." He was condescending, staring me down at his pointed nose. He looked to Calen and he scoffed.

"Of course, the child isn't dead. Why would he be?" He shook his head.

"I was proud of creating you, and yet here you are, slapping my patience back in my face. What am I going to do with you…?" He smirked looking over to the bed. He waved me over, I didn't…I couldn't…

"Come Jack." He ordered, the sharpness of his tone forced me forward. Breathing heavily, out of fear I went to him. I looked to where he was pointing…

"Where is she?!" I snapped, he tilted his head slowly.

"I've watched you for a long time Jack. I keep an eye on all my pets. And I must say, red does look good on you." He nodded slightly. My mouth opened as I looked from the bed to him.

"She made the decision for you. There really wasn't much of a choice really." He chuckled.

"Faylen decided that she would be better off with me, and not with you. I don't blame her. After all, who would want to be with a child killing clown?" He pushed out his chest chuckling.

"You think you would've been able to hide all of this from me jack?!" The anger came flooding down on me. I kept Calen carefully in my arms. He nodded to him.

"Because of that child, you lost her. How does that make you feel?" He crossed his arms, my head hung low.

"Because you didn't do what I asked you to do, you no longer have a pet." His grin spreads.

"She wouldn't have wanted you anyway. She had a higher calling. Something you kept hindering…she would be a beautiful addition to the family." I stared at him, this time I felt the anger.

"You won't…" I growled. He lifted his chin with a much bigger smirk.

"I will, and am. Once she rests up in my home, I'll make her into what she should've been made into, a long time ago." He sighed.

"My work is far from being finished." Raking a hand through his black and red hair he smiled.

"Besides, her beauty doesn't go unnoticed. Someone as stunning as Faylen, should've been treated better Jack. I saw what you did to her ankle." He scoffed.

"Such a horrible lover." Shaking his head, I stepped forward again.

"I gave her a choice. Her soul, over her sons. And she chose her son over herself. Such a truly selfless woman…you could learn a thing or two." He laughed. I trembled with an anger I had never felt before.

"Angry, are you? Good. Use that and learn a thing or two." Zalgo towered over me, he towered over everyone but Slender. He raised his large hand, gently he caressed Calen's head. He saw the rope marks over his throat.

"Perhaps someday he'll join the family as well." He continued caressing the boy's head.

"After all, he has the same sickness as his mother, and his grandmother. A sickness, all of them have had…they've all tasted death, and understand how horrible it is. Immortality is their calling Jack." His yellow eyes stopped me flat.

"Maybe you'll have the family you've always wanted. Just not with Faylen. She's mine." He removed his hand, and I felt my heart start to break.

"You're taking her away from me for what reason?!" I screamed, Zalgo tilted his head back laughing.

"Because I can. I'm a god remember?!" He pushed passed me, walking to the door.

"Oh, and Jack?" Slowly I looked at him.

"Coming after me, would be a horror show. If you even try any heroics. I will snap her neck like a twig." He opened the door and left. I stared behind him I couldn't stop the tears that came from my eyes nor the sob from my throat. I was left holding a sleeping Calen in my arms, closing my eyes I allowed myself to hold him close. A moment passed as we appeared back home, in the dark carnival.

…

The bed sheets were comfortable, I was wrapped in silk with my face buried into a feather pillow. I felt at home, sleeping and relaxing away. Knowing that once I woke up, I'd be making Calen breakfast and laughing at the stupid shit that happened the last month or so. That everything that had happened, had been a bad dream. That it was just Calen, Jack and me.

As I opened my eyes, I realized everything I had hoped for…was just a dream. Nothing I had wanted was there. I pushed myself up from the bed. I was still dressed in a hospital gown. The bandage that wrapped around my head was gone. I could open both eyes, and able to see. I could even hear out of my left ear. I sat on the large bed. I was sleeping right in the center of it. I wrapped my arms around myself feeling lonelier then I ever had. I made a deal with the devil, to make sure my son and lover had stayed safe.

The door opened and I saw him in a different light, he was still as handsome has he was before. Just in a silk shirt and jeans. His muscles were large, and he looked me over. His mouth was set, and his eyes stared me down. I lifted my chin in defiance. I wouldn't allow him to control me like he wanted too…I wasn't going to be his little puppet.

"I have rules in my home." He walked to the bed, I pulled the covers close to my body. He kept his posture perfect.

"You're not allowed to leave this mansion, there are plenty of things you can do, if you need anything ask. You're not to socialize with anyone I bring home, you are to be a silent observer. Just like the marble hornets. I am the king of this land, you are to listen to me and follow everything I say. You don't, I'll send every and all my pets after your son. Understood?" He waited for an answer, I nodded.

"You don't speak much, do you?" He asked.

Looking away from him I sat down on the bed, keeping the blankets wrapped around me tightly. I wanted Jack. I wanted to be near him again, I just…wanted him.

"You'll speak to me sooner or later Faylen. Mostly if you want to eat." He turned from me and slammed the door shut behind him. The lock turned over, I placed my hands to my face and I cried. I cried harder than I ever have.

I missed my son, I missed Jack. I missed Myu the children…

I lifted my face to look out the window, all there was to see was red skies, and white clouds. I was a bird, trapped in a cage.

 _What can I do to get out of this situation that I'm in now?_ I waited for a response. I got nothing. Deeper inside, I knew there was no way out…I was stuck where I was…

"Please come find me Jack…please…" I stood, looking around my new home. There was a dresser, a large vanity with a seashell comb. I turned back to the window…I walked over and peered outside. Creatures roamed the grounds, different looking… _things_ patrolled around the large home. A few looked up to the window, my heart heaved.

"Oh god…" I whispered covering my mouth. This was real…

 _This is all real…isn't it?_ I couldn't wrap my brain around what I was seeing. Wrapping arms around myself, a soft knock came from the door. I kept my mouth shut. The door unlocked, a young girl walked into my room, her long blonde hair was knotted and her white nightdress was covered in red and brown. She had a single brown eye, and a hole for the other, I felt I was staring back at myself within those never-ending eyes. Her arms were covered in red cuts, her throat had a deeper one, she stood there within her arms held clothing.

"Ms. Faylen?" Her voice was soft, my heart hammered against my chest. Fear escalated into terror, I just gave a nod.

"Mr. Zalgo asked me to bring you these. My name is Sadie, if you need anything please feel free to ask." She placed them at the end of the bed.

"Sadie...?" My voice must've caught her off guard, she looked up at me. Her white lips pursed together.

"Yes Ma'am?" Her own voice seemed lost.

"W…Where am I?" I whispered, she gave a slight shrug.

"In limbo to some, hell for others. For me, this is my home to serve Zalgo, and you his future bride." My legs started to give out underneath me.

"Wh…what? I don't understand Sadie, why me?" My voice cracked, Sadie turned to close the door. Her eye was filled with understanding.

"I don't understand how Zalgo works, or why he works the way he does. Sometimes when one person is filled with so much hatred, sadness, and or sorrow he takes them into his home and turns them into what you see. I, my name is Suicide Sadie. I've tried hundreds of times…till finally I succeeded." She pointed to her missing eye.

"I'm stuck. I'm a ghost. But here, I'm a solid being. And I know what you are thinking too Ms. Faylen. There is no way out. You're stuck here for however long Zalgo needs you." She closed her one good eye.

"What he sees in you, is someone in true despair. He wants to help you. And he gave you a chance to live. As one of us. A thing. You won't be human anymore." A soft sigh came from her lips.

"What about Jack?" I asked, her brows knitted together.

"Which one?" She asked.

 _There's two?_ I thought.

"The clown? What about him?" She continued. I gave her a look and she tsked.

"You love the homicidal child murdering clown, don't you?" She looked back to the door, before pointing to the clothing.

"I'll tell you more later, just get dressed and ready. He's expecting you for supper. Don't be late Faylen. He hates it when people are late." She turned to the door, before looking back at me.

"He loves your voice. Sing a little, it'll help loosen him up. The more you're on his side, the easier living here will be." My eyes filled with tears again.

"I'm not someone's toy!" I screamed, Sadie seemed forlorn.

"We're all someone's puppet Faylen. Some are just kinder then others." She closed the door behind her, I looked at the clothing on the bed. I touched my throat.

 _He want's my voice…?_ I went to the edge of the bed, reaching over I pulled it up.

The dress was a soft green, with a lace corset. My brows knitted together. Peeling the old hospital gown off, I pulled the dress over my head. The velvet kissed my skin, leaving a gentle caress. Pulling the bottom down, I went to the front and pulled the satin ribbon. Tying it into a bow, I took a deep breath trying to calm my racing mind.

 _Just breathe…_

Slipping into the small Mary Janes that was left for me at the foot of my bed. I went to the door, closing my eyes unsure of how I was going to handle this situation.

 _My life just got a bit more fucked up…didn't it?_ The thought pushed through tears of fear.

 _Here goes nothing…_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter eleven:

Song Bird

The halls were beautifully decorated, filled with photos of many different artists, there were even a few different vases that laid out on top of tables. I saw the looks the staff were giving me, some were hungry others were of anger. I just kept my chin held high and I kept to myself. I still couldn't help but notice quite a few authentic paintings. I stopped in front of one that caught my eye, the beauty was called 'Madonna of the Quail' it was painted by Pisanello in fourteen twenty…

 _This can't be authentic, it was housed in Castelvecchio museum of Verona…the painting was stolen in twenty fifteen…how is it here…?_

I walked to the framed piece of history, running my fingers over the glass. It was beautiful. More beautiful than I could remember.

 _I remember seeing this in the art books in school…it must've been worth a fortune._ Next to It was Madonna of the Rose Garden. My jaw dropped at its stunning beauty. I couldn't believe this man would have such beautiful paintings just…hanging in the hallway. What if someone else stole them away from him?

 _How rich is this guy? He has paintings going back to the mid fourteen hundred…_ Running my fingers over the frame work. That too even looked original.

 _I'm no expert but…Jesus this looks real…I only took a few classes in Italian art…_ I felt myself stare at the painting a moment longer before sighing.

 _I can't allow myself to be swallowed up in the artwork of a monster…_ I grasped the hem of my dress and followed the sounds of music. That had to be the way I was supposed to go. Sadie gave me no directions, nor did the man himself. I just followed the noise. The music had heavy guitar with a touch of keyboard. It sounded almost normal like normal rock and roll…

"You're late!" Sadie's voice made me jump, I turned to look at her. Her piercing brown eye stared at me.

"He doesn't like tardiness. It's your first day here and he's going to be furious!" She snapped, my face flushed in surprise.

"I…I…" Her hands pushed me forward.

"No, no more stalling. Get in there!" She shoved me through the curtains. I saw the long stairs leading up to a wooden stage. I gave Sadie a light look, she nodded.

"Go on." She pushed.

"Are you kidding me? I'm not going to be his entertainment." I crossed my arms, she groaned.

"You are, and you will. Or…" She pulled a razor from her dress pocket.

"I'll make you." She looked from the razor in her hand to me.

"Your choice." Someone who I thought was going to help me, was on his side…

 _Fuck._ I sighed, walking up the stairs. The stage was large, covered in velvet curtains. The moment my foot stepped on the stage, I had gotten looks, some whistles and catcalls. Neon eyes laid upon my skin and I flushed. A microphone stayed on the center stage, Zalgo the man sitting at the very end of the table goblet in hand. His face stayed empty while looking at me. My heart stuttered.

" _I love your voice."_ Echoed throughout my brain. He loved my voice…I was going to be a song bird, and that was all. He wanted me for nothing else. Just entertainment, I watched him bring the goblet up to his lips. He was still watching me; his eyes ran over my body making me shiver. A few men within the crowd hooped and hollered.

 _What am I going to sing…?_ I watched the demon at the end of the table, his eyes were intense…making my stomach turn to water. I listened to the beat of the band, and I opened my mouth. The lyrics started flowing from my lips. It was the only song I could remember by heart. A song I had sang to my son numerous times when he couldn't sleep.

Zalgo's eyes lit up as he leaned further back into his seat. He kept watching me, and only me. The thought of my tardiness must've disappeared, simply because he didn't seem angry nor upset any longer. I watched him take a deep breath and let it out. My voice must've soothed him somehow, some way. The entire room grew silent as I sang. Something I wasn't used too was the attention. My voice to myself sounded too soft, too empty…maybe even a little off key. But I kept watching him…his jaw was tight, and his body relaxed. He seemed to be enjoying the show. The band switched to a softer, slower note and I followed. Pulling the microphone off the stand, I began walking back and forth on the stage, the lights following me.

It was warm up on the stage, I felt my skin heat up.

 _Or is it because he's watching me?_

I shook the thought off immediately.

 _Think about Jack, just picture him here with you._

I closed my eyes, allowed myself to relax. I had too, or I would keep hiccupping on the words. Mixing them up, skipping a word to two. I still opened my eyes to see him. His eyes hadn't left me, not for a second.

 _How long am I supposed to be singing up here?_

 _If you can. Do you really want to be stuck in that room the rest of your life?_ I did my little twirl and ended the show. I placed the microphone back on the stand, I went down the stairs and out. The cool air touched my warm face. My heart was still racing. I could hardly breathe, he was watching me the entire time, something had crossed his face. I saw it, I knew I did.

 _That or you're dreaming_. I shook my head slowly.

 _No, I saw it. I saw something in his eyes. What it was I can't tell…_ I leaned against the wall, my heart hammering against my ribcage. My hands were shaking, I couldn't wrap my brain around what I was feeling. What I saw…

The door opened from the dining area opened, Sadie looked directly at me her one good eye was wide in shock. My stomach dropped, she nodded for me to come over. I shook my head no. I didn't want to move. If I did I felt as if I would collapse. She gave me that look again, with a deep breath I raised my hand.

"One minute please…" I asked, she rolled her eye and nodded. I was on the verge of a panic attack.

 _What if…what if he…he..._

"No, I can't I won't…be strong…be strong." I sat up right, fixed my velvet dress and walked into the dining area. The moment I walked through, I felt his eyes and the chatter continued as if nothing had happened. I looked right at Zalgo, his lips were set his jaw tight and eyes were piercing through to me. My stomach started to flutter. He moved his hand over to a seat next to him, my feet refused to move. Sadie who stood behind me, gave a light push. My knees were weak, I couldn't move…not with those eyes watching me.

"I'm scared…" I whispered, Sadie's hands gave my back another light push.

"He won't do anything to hurt you. I promise. He…well…just go." At the sound of her voice, I kept walking. Zalgo stood pulling the seat out for me, I sat down and he pushed me in. Returning to his seat, he grabbed some wine and poured some on the goblet next to him.

"Go ahead, I promise there's no poison in it. I'm not aiming to kill." I gave him another look, the goblet was huge, larger than my own hand. Managing around the small issue, I took a drink. The flavor was rich, and tasted beautiful.

"What is this?" I asked him, he gave a small smile. It was a smile that made my heart stutter. I looked back down to my hands. I didn't want him to see me blush.

"It's an elderberry and honeysuckle mead. Something I made special for you." Again, my cheeks flared up. Betraying me.

 _Why can't I hide it?!_ I cleared my throat, taking another sip. This time, longer then I had originally intended. It was perfect, a slight burn in the back of the throat but had such a floral after tasting it distracted you from the burn.

"It's beautiful." I replied.

"Like you." My eyes snapped up from his remark. He was looking right at me, my mouth opened in a perfect O.

"I maybe the devil, but I do have manners. Your job is to preform every night for dinner. I don't care if you repeat numbers." He leaned back in his chair, looking at the empty stage.

"And if you fail to do this, I'll slaughter your son and your owner." He brought the goblet to his mouth drinking. The little bit of respect he had gained from me was cut down, replaced with anger.

"I told you, I loved your voice. You're a very attractive woman yes. But it was your voice that drew me into you." He looked at me, and I melted. I melted at the very look he gave me. My heart kept palpating, skipping…

 _I'm going to die…_ I thought.

"You were late getting on stage tonight. Your performance decided your fate. I suggest you try and be on time. When Sadie give you your preforming clothing of the night, you have thirty minutes to get ready and be on stage. You have a five-minute leeway, that's all I'm giving you. Don't be late again." I looked at him, seeing the seriousness within his eyes, I gave a nod.

"Alright." I whispered, he only gave me a look.

"Yes sir…" I sighed. He lifted his chin slowly.

"You sounded beautiful tonight." I gave him another look.

"What…?" I whispered.

"You sounded beautiful. I love how you sing, you sound very…" he closed his eyes as if trying to figure out the word.

"Operatic." He nodded at the word.

"Yes…operatic…" When he looked at me, I felt the tears well up behind my eyes, my throat tightened.

"Thank you, sir…" I tried blinking away the tears.

"Sir…?" He looked back at me.

"What?" He snapped.

"Why me?" I gave him another look, he gave little thought into his reasoning.

"Because you suffered just enough to perk my interest. I enjoyed your pain, at the same time it confused me as to why I didn't quite like it as well. Originally, I was going to snag your son Calen, till I realized how close Jack was to you. I wanted to see what you were like. I wanted to know what he found so _interesting_ I watched you for a long time. Your mother has a sickness, you have it, and so does your son. Which, was why I wanted him. He would make a beautiful child serial killer." He leaned back, I gave him another look.

"That doesn't explain _why_." He gave a light shrug.

"I wanted you, and I always get what I want." I looked back down at my hands.

"Someone had to show you both sides of the world Faylen. Did you truly think, everything would go right once Jack has his hands-on Stu? He broke protocol. I allowed him one free chance, I do to all my pets. He had his one chance. You. When you were a child, he didn't kill you because you reminded him of how lonely he truly was. Not having a friend anymore, then he realized he had you. He knew what he was doing was wrong, and shoved you away. Then, he found your son...the butterfly effect dear. It works in mysterious ways." He considered his goblet before finishing off the mead.

I picked mine up and I took a long drink. Already my head was buzzing.

"So, what am I then? A toy? A pet? A little puppet?" The anger bubbled through my voice, Zalgo's eyes looked at me. There it was again, that look of something flashing in his eyes.

"Perhaps there's so much more, then you would ever understand Faylen. Once you agreed to be Jack's you opened the door for so much more. Did you ever once think, the devil would find interest in you?" He asked, I gave him a look.

"No. And I never wanted it." I snapped, he chuckled.

"You were messing with one of his play things. You signed an invisible contract nightingale. When you decided to love Jack, you also stepped into a world full of death, misery and hell." He reached over, grabbing the bottle.

"Things will not be easy from here on out." I watched his muscles move underneath the silk shirt. He was nearly bursting from the thin fabric, he gave me a side glance.

"That dress suits you. Green is your color. Are you Irish?" He asked, my head buzzing from the mead, I reached forward and took my goblet and drank the rest that was in it. My tongue had felt ten times bigger than before. The room grew increasingly bright.

"Full blooded." I replied.

"Why?" I asked, he gave a light laugh.

"As if your hair and eyes didn't give it away." He was smiling, it made me smile back.

"Would you like another glass?" He nodded to the bottle, I gave a shrug.

"Sure." I replied.

 _Anything to keep on your good side, the last thing I need is to piss you off…_

He poured the mead in the goblet and I easily took it.

"Don't drink too much, you'll end up having a hangover from hell." There was a twinge in his voice that sounded like concern. I lifted the goblet to my lips and took a drink. After a moment, I placed it back down.

"You care why? You're the king of hell." I leaned back, crossing my legs. His eyes roamed over my body interest flashed in his eyes.

"Because I care about your health. You're not immortal Faylen, you're still a mortal." I chuckled at his response.

"It seems like I'm just like my mother. There's no such thing has happy endings for the Snows." The mead was talking, I knew it was. He gave me a glair.

"You don't believe in happy endings?" He asked, I shook my head. Giggling lightly, I was pushing on being drunk.

"Nope. Not for a long time." I tilted my head, considering my drink.

"At least I almost believed in a happy ending." My eyes stared at myself.

"I had my son ten years ago today. I'm not there for his birthday. July 26…he's going to throw a fit…" Sadness crept into my voice. His eyes grew somber.

"You really love your son, don't you?" He asked, I nodded right away.

"He's my son! Of course, I do…he's my everything. I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost him. When Stu went on that killing rampage and I saw all that blood, I thought he got to my baby. I was going to kill him with my bare hands." The goblet doubled.

"If had placed his hands on him…I would've killed him…I wanted to rip his still beating heart out of his chest." Zalgo nodded.

"I wouldn't understand any of this because well, I have no family. I have my pets and that's about it." I couldn't help but look at him.

"There are many theories out there about me, who I am, and what I'm like. I agree on most of them, I'm an asshole, a proud one at that. There are a few of my pets who go out there and kill just because, kill out of revenge, some even kill for reason I'm not even sure of. I create them, and make them what they are. They use their immortality as they see fit. I have a few rules that they must never disobey. And that's it. Jack had not followed them. Humans are not meant to be left alive if they run into us. It's supposed to be as simple as, go in, slaughter, leave. I just guarantee them the freedom of everlasting life." His eyes didn't stay from my eyes, I felt as if he was speaking the truth.

"I'm like you Faylen, I don't believe in happy endings, or fairy tales. They're nothing more than things we wish we had…" He sighed looking away from me.

"What do you wish for?" I asked, he just gave me a look.

"Something I shouldn't." He replied, by the time I looked back up from our conversation, the table had emptied. The staff were picking plates up, sweeping the stage and the floor. Zalgo leaned back into his chair and I followed.

"I want my son." I whispered, he gave a nod.

"Unfortunately, I can't give you that. You've made your choice. You're here now. And your son will live, unless you do something that pisses me off." He was back to being an ass. I scoffed.

"Please, you try killing my son, you'll regret it." He raised his brow at my challenge.

"Oh? I would?" He pushed. I nodded.

"You won't find someone to replace me, could you?" I snapped back at him, he lifted his chin.

"Humph…touché." He crossed his large arms. My body trembled all over again my heart lifted a bit.

 _Maybe I could do this…_ My head started spinning.

"May I go back to my room now?" I asked, he shrugged.

"Fine. Go nowhere else. If you're hungry, talk to Sadie. She'll get you something." With the wave of his hand, he dismissed me. The moment I tried standing up, the world tilted to the left and I was falling. Large arms wrapped around me, I was pressed against a brick wall of a chest. I was lifted my eyes looked at him. My cheeks flushed red.

"I told you not to drink so much. You didn't listen to me. Did you?" He tried hard not to smile, but he did. A smile slipped across his lips, and I followed through with a smile as well.

"Yeah well, being in the situation that I'm in. I think I had reason for drinking as much as I have." Zalgo cradled me to his chest. I felt his heart underneath the palm of my hand, it was beating rather fast.

 _Is it because he's holding me? Or the fact I'm so fat he's having issues?_ He gave me another look before leaving the entertainment area. Staff were looking at their King, carrying a human female down the hall to one of the guest bedrooms. And I couldn't stop myself from looking up at those eyes of his.

"I love your Italian artwork." My voice slurred slightly, he chuckled at me shaking his head slowly.

"You humans can't handle your liquor." He shook his head. His horns fascinated me, I reached up gently touching the closets one near me.

"Yes, Faylen they're real." He sighed, I gave a light chuckle.

"I know they're real, it's just so strange." I laid my head against his arm, the world spun around me.

"What's strange?" He asked.

"Someone who's such an asshole, actually cares about the wellbeing of their slaves. Just enough to make sure they don't fall in love and get hurt. Why is that?" I asked, he only looked down at me once before reaching my door.

"I have my reasons." He pushed down on the handle, he walked into my room. He pulled the covers back before gently laying me down. He took my heels and tossed them across the room, he started to tuck me in when I looked at him again.

"Why are you so kind?" I asked, he shook his head slowly.

"You know nothing. I'm not a kind person, I'm evil." He pushed the sides down gently. I gave him another look, already I knew I was far too deep into my cups I giggled.

"You kidnapped me sure, but if you were really evil, wouldn't you have killed me already?" I asked. He stared into my eyes before sighing.

"There are other things I have planned for you. Killing you, is far at the end of the list." He pulled away. I reached up to touch his wrist gently.

"You took me away from my child…away from the reason I woke up every single morning for. I kept asking you why, and you only told me because you liked my voice. There's got to me more than that." I pushed. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"I'll tell you when the time is right. Now is not that time. I don't trust you." He pulled away from me, taking his wrist with him. He left my room, leaving me with the room spinning and the soft smell of sandalwood and death lingering behind him.

…

The next morning, I woke up, my throat and mouth were dry. Head thumping and my stomach was writhing. I looked out the window, again the sky looked no different than when I had woken up the day before. I wanted to see my son splayed out next to me, snoring with all the blankets. Yet all I was greeted with, was a glass of water with Alka-Seltzer sizzling at the bottom of the glass. Looking it over I sighed gently, what else was there to do? I reached over taking the glass into my hand and chugged as fast as I could.

The water felt fantastic rolling over on my tongue and down the back of my throat. Though it tasted disgusting overall, I moaned in pleasure. My stomach writhed and bubbled. For a moment, I thought I was going to vomit. The pain subsided and I sighed, feeling disgusting I stood. Giving my room a good look over, a single door was against the back left of the room. Towels were set out against the floor with a note attached. Going over I picked up the note and towels. His handwriting was rather rushed but neat and in cursive.

 _Dear Faylen,_

 _Last night you didn't listen to me when I said to watch how much you drank._

 _I left some towels, water with something to help soothe your stomach._

 _Within the bathroom you'll find the essentials that you need._

 _Shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush and paste._

 _If you need anything else, call upon Sadie. I'm sure she will be more than happy to help._

 _Within the dresser there's a gift. It's not much but I figure you'd like to have something_

 _That reminds you of home._

 _Your next show will begin at five P.M, don't be late._

 _Zalgo._

I placed the towels down on the toilet seat. Running back out to my room, I went right to the dresser. In the first drawer laid a single circular locket on a silver chain. Picking it up, I popped it open. I dropped to my knees. On the left side was Calen and I tossing up peace signs. It was when I took us to Cony island. On the other side, was of all of us. Myu, Me, Calen, and the rest of her children. I cried out in pain. Holding the locket close to my chest, I howled. My heart ached worse than before. I missed my son, I missed my adoptive family. I couldn't help but think about Myu and her new baby girl…what was she going to do, since the rest of her family had been killed? I pulled the locket away from my chest, rubbing at the picture of Calen and me.

"Hi baby…" I whispered, his bright green eyes and auburn hair matched mine. He was a mirrored image of me…

"I miss you…" I whispered, I wanted, needed to hear his voice. I closed my eyes and tried hard to hear him say my name. Just to hear him say 'mommy'. It's all I wanted. But…

"This is as close to home as I'm going to get…" I hugged the locket one last time before placing it around my neck.

 _I should thank him for this at least._ The cool metal touched my skin, I missed him…I missed everyone…I got to my feet after a moment longer, with a heavy heart I went to the bathroom. Turned on the water and waited for it to get warm.

The silence throughout this floor was surprising.

 _Maybe I have the entire floor to myself._ A small smile came to my lips.

 _Doubt it, they're probably sleeping off the mead from last night._ I shuddered. The thought of that floral drink made me shudder. It was delish of course, just not when you had a hangover. I stripped my dress off; I looked myself in the full-bodied mirror feeling sick to my stomach all over again. I loathed the way I had looked, always had. More so before Calen, but now…now as I look at myself I felt a sob work its way back up my throat. Walking to the mirror, I touched my face.

I never had an issue with my face, I was always _pretty_ or _cute._ It was my body I hated the most. Running my hands down to my breasts, they were still perky after having Calen, but they weren't as full as they once were. Down to my stomach, I grabbed a handful of fat. Tears touched my cheeks, falling to my chin. I grabbed my skin so hard it hurt, I turned away from the mirror with a grunt of disgust. I pulled the shower curtain open and I stepped in. The steam rushed to my face, the water was so hot I had to hold back a cry of pain. I liked it. I enjoyed the pain it was inflicting upon me.

 _All of this was my fault, if I had just allowed Jack to kill me then…none of this would be happening. Calen wouldn't have been forced into this life, I wouldn't be here. In this prison with a ghost for a guard…_ placing my head against the shower wall, I allowed the water to run over my back. I had gotten used to the screaming heat. Now I look like the skies outside. Bright red with the possibility of a blister here and there.

Pressing my head, a little harder against the wall, silent tears cascaded over my face.

 _How did I get into this situation? How? Why? Why me? Why am I stuck here? My child is out there facing the world. While I, I'm stuck here. Fighting against the devil._ I sighed banging my head slightly against the wall.

 _I must find a way out of here. I don't care how I do it. But I need to._ Opening my eyes, I looked over to the small window above the shower. My eyes grew wide, I had an idea…I wasn't sure of how it was going to play out. It was something I could at least try…

…

I watched Ms. Myu rock her baby in the rocking chair, her beautiful brown eyes were swollen from crying, her nose red. The baby looked nothing like Stu, she looked just like Myu. The police had come and left leaving me with Myu. They didn't believe me about Jack either. Only Myu did. I popped a squat on the hospital bed, my throat was sore from the necklace, and I still felt a little tired. After going through the huge tunnel thing, the doctors agreed I was alright.

"Mum?" I whispered, she looked over at me and offered a soft smile.

"Yes Len?" Her own voice was hoarse.

"Does this mean I'm staying with you now?" I asked, tilting my head slightly. She nodded gently rubbing the baby's head. Arora started to whimper, her hands bunched against her face. I looked at her tilting my head to the side.

"She looks just like you." I said, Myu gave me a soft smile something I haven't seen in the last three days. She got up from the rocker.

"Hold out your arms dear." I did what she asked. She laid baby Arora within my arms, I held her close to my chest. She calmed down, her breathing returned to normal. The outburst disappeared and she slept peacefully.

"She needs a big brother, and you're the one to do it." Myu placed her hand on the top of my head, I looked at her.

"Where's my mom?" I asked, she shook her head slowly.

"I don't know dear, I wish I did. I would bring her right back here for the both of us." She looked just as sad as I felt.

 _I miss my mommy…_ I had to blink away the coming tears.

"Even daddy hasn't been the same Mum…he his color started fading again. The carnival isn't the same either without mommy…" I looked down at the newborn, she looked beautiful.

"I know dear, Jack…Jack is a very sensitive creature." She sat on the bed next to me.

"Mum, when can we go home?" I looked at her, her own doe eyes darkened again.

"I'm not sure sweetheart. I don't want to go back to that house…I'm looking for an apartment to rent for a little bit. When I find one, then we can go home." I didn't like that answer. I wanted to go home now…

"Do you think I could spend some time in the carnival again?" I asked, she slowly shook her head.

"No dear, I need you here with me. Jack can come visit if he wants. I know you both have been really lonely lately…" I gave her another look before nodding.

"I understand Mum. You need my help, don't you?" I asked, she gave a quick nod.

"I do. We'll find your mom baby I promise. I promise we will." She leaned down, placing a soft kiss to my head.

"I won't rest till we find her. I don't care the cost, she's been my best friend for the last ten years. I refuse to lose her. I swear to god, if Stu has his hand in this…I'll kill him." Myu whispered. I looked right up at her.

"Mum, it's not Stu. He said he doesn't have a hand in this. Jack already asked." She gave me another look.

"What do you mean 'he asked'? Stu has been missing the last week or two." She looked as if she didn't believe me.

"I mean that Jack has him in his carnival and gives him what he deserves. He's been there for a while now, and he hasn't stopped." I gently rocked Arora as she started fidgeting. Her eyes went wide for a moment.

"He as him…in his…what…?" She whispered, I nodded slowly.

"It's why I haven't been allowed back for a while. No matter how much I ask dad…" I made a face.

"That's because I don't want you to see what I've done to him." I looked up from Arora's face and I had a bright smile.

"Daddy!" I cried out, his hair faded back to a dark red with tints of black. His eyes began to fade and his clothing returned to black and white. Jack gave me a look and I felt my smile start to fade.

"He doesn't have her…I know he doesn't. I know who does…and…" Jack sighed, raking a hand through his thick hair. Myu was on him in a second.

"Where is she?! Where's Faylen?!" She grasped his shirt, he just looked away from her.

"She's with someone…very powerful. It's out of my hands to get her…I have no power compared to him." I felt confused as to what he was saying.

"What do you mean you have no power dad? I saw what you did to Sarah." I pushed, he looked at me. His eyes were somber and his lips were down in a frown.

"No, my love…he's someone that daddy can't defy." He touched Myu's wrists, he heard her sob and I watched him pull her into a hug.

"Where is mommy…" I stared at the two of them, he just gave me the softest look I've ever seen. With a sigh, he just placed his hand on the back of Myu's head and stroked her hair gently.

"She…" I watched him struggle with an answer. I felt Arora move, and I looked down at her.

"Dad, I'm ten you can tell me what's going on." I looked at him, and he sighed heavily.

"Someone who's very powerful took mommy, and I'm too weak to get her back. I can't beat him, and I won't have the ability to do so." Myu screamed into Jack's shirt. I looked to Myu and Dad.

"Who is he?" I snapped. Jack's eyes were sad, he sighed gently.

"Just…someone you don't want to get involved with." Gently he led Myu to the bathroom.

"I asked who he was Jack!" I shouted, Jack stopped in his tracks. He looked back to me. He was either surprised at my defiance and or me using his name.

"He's the devil Calen. Are you happy now? He's someone you don't mess with." I gave him a look.

"He has my mom." I handed Arora to Jack who took her without hesitation.

"I know he has your mom, he has our Faylen. But there's nothing we can do to get her back!" He snapped back at me. I shook my head slowly.

"No! There must be a way! I know there has to be one!" I pushed further.

"Calen Isaac! Enough! There's no other way we can get her back! She's gone." He rocked the child gently, I shook my head.

"No, you're just too scared to fight for my mom!" I gave him a look, he froze. Staring me down.

"You know what, yeah. You're right. I'm too scared. Do you know why?" He stepped up, placing Arora in her bassinet.

"Because he can kill the last person I care about. He threatened that Calen. Your life over your mothers. I didn't want to lose you. Your mother would never forgive me if I killed you just so she can live!" Jack was fuming. I saw the anger within his eyes, I started to calm down just a little bit. I understood now.

"What if I go to him?" I asked, he shook his head.

"I won't allow it. Besides there's no way a human can get to Zalgo." He was lying. Lying right to my face. I sighed shaking my head slowly.

"I will find a way to get my mom back. With your help, or without it. Mommy will come home, safe and sound." Myu walked from the bathroom dressed, cleaned up with wet hair. I and Jack looked at her, her face was still swollen from crying.

"You both need to stop shouting. You're going to wake Arora, then I'll be extremely mad. The last thing I need right now, is to be in mourning and angry at the same time." She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"Why don't you two go do something productive? I need some silence. All this talk about the devil is driving me insane." She shook her head slowly, I looked at Jack.

"I'm sorry dad…I just miss mom…" He reached out, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"I miss her too. We'll…we'll try to do something Calen. I promise." He sighed, I knew that was another lie. He was too scared to do anything.

 _That guy is just a big bully, why would anyone fear a bully?_

…

I got out from the shower, toweled myself off and found another gown laid out on the bed. It was the same color, this time silk. I gave a tilt to my head and picked it up. It stopped a few inches short of my knees. Hitting the center of my thighs.

 _Guys insane if he thinks I'm wearing this…_ I stopped the thought and laughed out loud.

 _My life is insane. Whatever floats his boat I guess._ I grabbed my undergarments, and pulled the dress on over my head. I was right, it laid just a few inches above my knees. Right next to the bed were bright red cork heels. I sat down on the bed and slipped them on. The clock on my dresser read four forty-five P.M. I had a few minutes before I should start heading to the stage.

I touched the locket around my neck, wanting my child to be there with me, right then and there. I knew that was impossible.

 _The guys must be worried sick…and Myu…oh god poor Myu…she would be doing everything and anything to try and find me. I hope she's not spending an entire fortune on doing that…_ Sighing heavily I stood from my bed, I gave it one final look over before walking to my door and leaving for the stage.

 _Keep the devil happy, and your son will stay alive. This man feeds from suffering…I hope he hasn't ran into Calen yet…that boy had been through some serious shit just like his mommy…but he's a strong kid. He can handle himself. I didn't raise him to run off in the face of danger. I raised him to face it head on, and no matter what fight for what you love…_ I gave myself a smile.

 _My son is a fighter, just like his mommy, he wouldn't ever give into the darkness…_ I stopped midway through the hall. His hair was slick back, he stood taller then I remembered…but his eyes lit up once he saw me.

"You're early Ms. Snow." He sounded professional…my heart leapt in my throat. He straightened his tie around his neck, and I felt my bladder turn into the size of a walnut. His eyes looked me over, from top to bottom. He stopped at my throat.

"I see you got my letter." He cleared his throat. I nodded slowly, keeping my eyes down I looked away from him.

"I did, thank you very much sir. I'm forever in your debt." I closed my eyes.

 _Bow to him. Bow to him. Make it legit._ I took in a quite breath, and I bowed. Zalgo took a step back, slightly confused. I lifted my head, I gave him the sincerest look I could muster. It was a real look, I was happy with the little gift he gave me. It helped push me to get dressed and fight for my son.

"Faylen, why are you bowing to me?" He asked, the confusion on his face made me tilt my head in question.

"Your royalty are you not?" I asked, standing straight keeping my hands clasped in front of me. He gave a nod.

"Yes but…" He rubbed the back of his head before shrugging.

"Are you tricking me?" His eyes snapped to me, my fear died down and I shook my head.

"No sir, I'm truly grateful for the gift you've given me. It's helped me calm down." I stepped to him, he looked down at me his eyes piercing through my soul. I placed my hand to his chest, kissing his cheek.

"Thank you for escorting me back to my room last night. I've learned my lesson. Listen to you." I pulled away before giving a light smile. Walking passed him, I could've sworn I saw a soft blush cross his cheeks. I had to hold back a laugh. He turned around and watched as I walked down the hall to the entertainment room. I felt him watch me walk away.

"Faylen…?" He had a question. I turned to look at him.

"You don't like tardiness remember?" I lifted my chin with a smirk.

"I don't want to be late." I waved to him.

"I'll see you on stage." The dumbfounded look on his face made me want to laugh even harder. I had to look away from him before I started to laugh. I knew this was possibly too much for him. But I couldn't help it…

 _In a sick way, I'm having fun playing with him. I just should keep it up a little bit longer. Sooner or later he'll realize I'm not playing around anymore. I must get to my son before anything else._ I lifted my chin, Sadie was already waiting by the stage door. She gave me a quick look over and nodded before giving me the okay.

"How do you feel?" She asked me, I gave her a quick look and a small shrug.

"I feel alright I guess." I replied. She looked at the old clock at the end of the hall.

"You have five minutes. What's going on?" She asked me. I turned to face her.

"I've been ripped away from my son. How do you think I feel? I miss him. I want to feel him hug me. I want to hear him say my name. I miss making him breakfast in the morning. Most of all, I miss Laughing Jack." I watched her narrow her brown eye before looking away from me.

"You should just forget about them. He won't ever let you go. He may not show it, or may show it in a very strange way. But he cares Faylen. Don't trick him. Don't fool him. I care too much about him for you to do that to him. He saved me from a world of damnation, and gave me reason." She lifted her chin.

"Don't think twice of hurting him. He can be very sentimental." She looked at the clock.

"Get on stage." I couldn't say anything else to her. She looked away from me as if I didn't even exist. Rolling my eyes, I went right up the stairs, this time I didn't even wait. The moment I stepped on stage, it was just like the night before, cat calls, whooping and hollering all over again. I gave a look of surprise. He was right where he was the other night, the look he gave me sent chills throughout my body. The look he gave me, was a look no one else had ever given me before. Instead of mead, he was drinking something else. Something I couldn't tell what it was, I watched him for a moment longer before I turned and looked at the band. I gave a single nod. I knew what I wanted to sing.

I belted out the first notes of the song. It was one I had listened to a lot on my iPod.

'Perfect' by My Darkest Days.

It brought me back, and I felt it had suited the moment. He watched me move, and I watched him. I felt emotions bursting from my voice, I had sung better than the night before. I knew I did. His eyes flashed with interest, I couldn't help but allow myself to smile a bit more than normal. I kept walking back and forth on stage, feeling the eyes follow me.

The two times I had performed, the room grew silent. As if my voice hushed anything that had been bothering them, and or stopped whatever conversation they had was no longer important. The eyes staring at me no longer bothered me. I could ignore it at this point. I started to dance a little as the lights followed me.

I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed the stage.

I enjoyed his eyes on me.

 _What's wrong with me? I'm having too much fun doing this, there's something wrong with me, isn't there?_ I loved his eyes on me, as if I was the only one he had ever seen.

 _What about Jack?!_ A heavier tune started playing from the band, and I followed along. Singing and dancing. I not only was entertaining, but I was entertained. I was having fun, the pain of being ripped away from my son seemed to dull, just a little bit. Not enough to go away, but enough for me to be able to perform.

 _The moment I stop, the pain will come back. This time worse than before. What are you going to do when that happens?_ I dropped down and brought myself back up.

 _I've never had this much confidence in my entire life…wearing a dress this small, showing off all and every cut I have against my body._ I felt a chill enter my body.

 _But look, no one's judging you Faylen. They're enjoying the music you're making. They're enjoying the voice you naturally have. Where in the real world would you find this? A place where no one would judge you for your scars? For your past mistakes?_

 _Calen was not a mistake!_

 _I wasn't talking about him. I was talking about you trying to kill yourself. All the scars on you are from your past. All the times you've gotten hurt. Where would you_ ever _find a place that wouldn't stare at you as if you're a freak?_

I stopped mentally for a moment, too zoned out with the music to realize I was arguing with myself.

 _Nowhere…_

 _That's what I thought. Enjoy it, give some truth to your feelings. You like the fact they're watching you preform, and come on. Admit it. You like it when he looks at you like that. Those eyes can stare right into your soul. You love it. You love feeling him stare at you like that-_

 _SHUT UP!_ I screamed at myself mentally, still forcing a smile on my lips.

 _I don't-_

 _You do. Dirty liar. There's nothing wrong with liking the attention of another male-_

 _Jack! What about Jack?! I can't just…_

 _Yes you can. How else are you going to gain his trust and get the hell out of here?_

 _Is there a way out?_

 _I'm not too sure, but I'm sure there's a way. If we get a little bit closer to him, I'm sure he'll tell us._

I laughed into the microphone, watching the crowd start to cheer. I bowed to the crowd. I saw how happy I had made them, and there…all the way in the back Zalgo was standing and applauding. My heart raced for that moment, and I couldn't help but smile brighter than before. I was breathing hard, and the panic was low in my heart.

 _Admit it, he's attractive and he has eyes only for you girl. What are you going to do? You're trapped in hell with the devil. And the devil wants you. Shouldn't you feel even just a little…excited?_

 _No, I shouldn't this is wrong. The entire thing is wrong. I probably died in the hospital and all of this is literal hell for something I've done._

 _The devil still has eyes for you._

 _Shut the fuck up!_

I bowed one last time, I placed the microphone back into its stand. I went behind the curtains to the main stairs. I took them slowly. Trying to calm my racing thoughts.

 _What are you going to do now girl?_

 _I don't know. What should I do? I'm not a fighter, and I certainly don't want to do anything that could get my son killed._

 _What if there's no other way to escaping?_

 _Then I'll stay here forever. I'll see my son when I die anyway._

 _Didn't he tell you, he'll make you into something you fear the most? Wouldn't that be like him? A monster? Someone who goes around and kills people? What if he turns you into someone like Jack? A child killing creature?!_

 _Then so be it. If my son is safe, that's all that matters._

 _What's stopping you from being happy now then? Enjoy it while it lasts. Besides, the only person who's going to save you, is yourself._

 _What if Jack manages to come see me?_

I opened the door and walked into the hallway. The band's music started up again, someone else went on. Who I didn't know and I didn't care.

 _In that case, if he can he can get me out. There's no other reason to stay alive really. If I die, would he leave my family alone?_

I froze. The moment of realization popped in my head.

 _What if…what I kill myself? He wouldn't have a reason to kill my son…_ I looked over my shoulder, and back to my room.

 _What do I have…?_ I took off at a sprint to my room. Sadie poked her head from the entertainment room to watch me leave. I looked back at her and I waved lightly. I had a huge smile on my face.

"Just going to freshen up!" I giggled lightly, she disappeared back into the room. I sighed dropping the act.

 _Gotta be something sharp…_ I opened my room, locking the door. Backing away from the door I went right to the bathroom. Opening the medicine cabinet, I went through everything. No medicine that would kill me right away. Just things that would take away headaches. Aspirin…Ibprohine…

 _Shit…_ I stepped back, crossing my arms I saw the full-bodied mirror. I saw myself, how I looked…I stared at myself a moment longer. In a moment of anger, I clenched my fist and punched.

I punched as hard as I could.

The mirror shattered in a million pieces.

I grabbed the sharpest piece I could find. I stared down at my wrists and the scars that littered my skin. That was over ten years ago I tried and I had failed. Closing the bathroom door, I turned the lock. I made sure no one would come into this room…

My heart kept racing, I knew what I wanted to do. I knew I had to do it.

 _Do it for Calen…think about Calen. It's for him. It's to save his life…_

I took a deep breath in, and let it out slowly.

 _Again._

Deep breath in.

Out slowly.

 _One more time._

Deep breath in.

Out slowly.

 _Now._

With my eyes closed the sharp piece of mirror went through my skin. It didn't hurt, just stung a little. The blood was fast, faster than it had been before back then. I opened my eyes and watched the sea of red. I switched hands.

Deep breath in.

Out slowly.

 _For Calen…_

I watched it this time, in utter fascination. I sat down on the floor feeling a little woozy. I watched the sea of blood surround me. This time, no one was here to save me. I wouldn't allow it.

 _I'll save Calen one way or another…_

…

I watched Sadie burst through the curtain, she was at my side in less than a second. She leaned over and whispered within my ear.

"She's going to do something, I can tell." I gave her look and she nodded. I knew what she was talking about. She would know best. It was why I put her in charge of her. I got to my feet as calmly as I could. My heart was running a million miles an hour. She was happy as can be a moment ago. She was dancing and laughing on stage, and I was watching. I loved watching her. Watching her be as happy as ever. The emotions had seemed legit. I gave her as much free will as I could…

"God damn it…" I walked from the dining area and out into the hall. I was furious. I hadn't fell this angry since finding out about Laughing Jack's little pet. My fists were clenched, my jaw tightened. I couldn't believe what she was going to do. Everything was a fake, she had led me on and made me believe she was enjoying it here.

I passed many rooms, and I stopped at hers. I reached forward and pulled on the handle. It was locked.

"That bitch…" I growled. I lifted my foot and kicked as hard as I could, the door buckled with no problem. Her room was empty, she wasn't there. I kept looking around the room, I even went to the window. It was still locked. I looked over, her body wasn't on the concreate below. Her room was empty…I looked at the bathroom door. Fear. I for once in my entire existence felt fear. In a few quick steps, I was there. A small rimming of red began to escape the bottom of the door. I reached out, again the door was locked. Rising my foot, I kicked at the wooden door. It crashed against the wall, splinters flew and struck me against the chest. Faylen was laid against the floor, her body curled into the fetal position. Her eyes were closed and her beautiful freckled face was ashen. I watched the flow of blood pump from her wrists. I tore my suit off, covering her body. I ripped my tie in half. Wrapping each piece against her wrist. I placed my fingers against her carotid artery.

I closed my eyes, waited…hoping…

 _Please don't be dead on me nightingale…_

 _ **Thump.**_

 _ **Thump.**_

I sighed in relief. It was faint, but it was there. I brought her in my arms I cradled her as easy as I could against my chest. Her long eyelashes laid against her pale freckled cheeks, her lips were lightly open. She breathed ever so slightly against my neck. I looked at her wrists, the tie had done its job. I was quick on my feet, I had to get her to Doctor Smiley. He was the only one I knew who could help her.

I ran through the halls; crimson droplets fell onto the carpeted floor. She was bleeding out, and fast. I had to get her to him. My staff looked at me as if I was crazy. A horned large dude running throughout the castle holding a dying human, would be a little strange.

"Don't you dare die on me…" I whispered, up the stairs I went. I was at a dead sprint when I reached Doctor Smileys room, he was already waiting for me. His read eyes looked from me to the girl in my arms, covered in blood and wrapped in my suit jacket. He nodded for me to enter. I laid her out on the table.

"Let's see what I've got to deal with." He walked over. He had a mask on, with a smile drawn on it. Doctor Smiley pulled on his gloves, his white jacket covered in blood. He had recently been killing. His black hair danced around his face. He reached to her right wrist and hissed.

"Ouch. Alright, I'll see what I can do. It'll be a minute for me to stitch her up. If you like you can wait either outside, or over there." He nodded to a few seats across from the bed. I never once got after him for how he spoke to me, he was after all the only real Doctor on board. So, I sat down. My leg bouncing.

 _Why would she do this? I even gave her a photo of her old life, to make her feel better…what am I doing wrong?_ I grunted lightly, her blood made me hungry. It reminded me that I haven't had a kill in so long. Killing was something I desired to do. Not needed.

I watched Doctor Smiley work, he took off my black tie from her right wrist. Her blood bubbled and dripped over. He reached into her wrist to pinch of her artery, he cauterized it then went back to his needle and thread. He was quick and efficient. I kept wanting to get up and touch her. I wanted to see if she was alive and breathing. I had to keep reminding myself that he was working as fast as he could. She was in capable hands.

 _What did I do to her? I tried everything I could to make her feel welcomed…_ I looked at my hands, covered in her blood. My shirt was worse for wear. It would have to be thrown away. I looked at her, lying still on the table. Doctor Smiley removed the other bandage from around her wrist. He sucked air through his teeth.

"She did a number on herself. I'm not a miracle worker, but I can do what I can on this one. I hope she's not a lost cause. She's a rather beautiful girl, I would hate to see you bury her in the back like the other few you've lost." He was bent over looking over her wrist and arm.

"This isn't the first time she's done this. You should be lucky Sadie got to you when she did. A moment later and this girl would've been a goner." His red eyes shot a look at me, and I felt scrutinized. Yet I held firm. I lifted my face and stared at him.

"You should keep a close eye on her Zalgo. Another attempt like this and I might not be able to save her. This scar tissue is hell to close up." He looked back to her wrist, shaking his head.

"Poor girl…" He saw the scars that climbed to her shoulder.

"She's been through some serious hell…and you decided to bring her here. What for?" He continued, hunched over. Working.

"Have you heard her sing?" I asked. He shrugged lightly.

"You know I'm never down at your dinners. I always eat alone. It's better than being near those drunker. I've heard her through the halls. She has a powerful voice. You're lucky she didn't try to sever her throat. Now that, I wouldn't be able to fix." He sat up, looking at his handy work.

"She almost sliced the arty in half. If she did that, I wouldn't have had any chance in fixing her." He shook his head slowly.

"I've made a miracle. That's what you should call her." He turned away from Faylen and looked at me.

"What did you do to her?" He snapped. I raised my hands and shook my head slowly.

"I've done nothing to her. Nor will I. But after this little stunt, I want to figure out _why_ she did this." I shook my head slowly. Doctor Smiley scoffed, crossing his blood-soaked arms.

"One more time, and she's going to be done for Zalgo. There will be no coming back." He turned from me.

"She's going to need a few liters of blood." He started to walk to his office, he stopped then looked at me.

"You owe me." He pointed a bloody hand at me. I nodded.

I looked away from him and looked at her. Her beautiful face…so ashen white. Running my hand over her face softly she took a deep breath in, her eyes opened and stared at me. She looked right at me, her eyes filled with tears as she reached up touching my blood-soaked shirt.

"Why…?" She croaked.

"Why did you save me…?" She whispered. My heart ached for this poor woman. I stroked her cheek gently.

"My poor nightingale…" I whispered. Her eyes flashed for a moment. I knew I surprised her with my tenderness. She saw it all over her face.

"I saved you because I…" I made a face, shaking my head. I pulled away. Her hand reached out and grasped my wrist.

"Stay, please…" Her voice was hoarse. What stopped me from leaving was her soft sobs.

"I miss my son…so much…it hurts to be away from him for so long…" I was pulled back into her tale of woe.

"I miss my life, I miss Myu…" I faced her directly. Her grip on me was weak, yet her eyes held strong. She was a fighter, a warrior.

"Why do you wish to die?" I asked her, she let out a shuddering breath.

"So, my son would live…" Hope crossed her eyes and laced into her words. I was surprised. This woman would give her life, so another would live?

 _So…it's her son who's keeping her alive._ I cracked a small grin. I couldn't help it.

"Your son is your lifeline I see." She was nodding faster than was needed. I wanted to be mean, I wanted to be evil…to torture her. However, there was just a soft enough spot in my heart that made me stop.

 _Is it her eyes? Her lips? Her smile? Or is it just how beautiful her voice was?_ I reached over and cupped her face in my hand. She closed her eyes and rubbed against my palm. She was covered in scars. The deepest of which now lay against her wrists.

"You're beautiful, inside and out…I hope you know that." I watched her open her eyes and look at me. Her lips turned into a small smile as she cried.

"Please…don't do that again." I whispered, she gave me a look that melted my heart.

"Why do you care about me? I'm just a pet."

 _Ouch, right in the heart._ I winced slightly.

"Faylen I never meant it like that…" She looked at me, her crystal green eyes lit up. My heart heaved and shot into my throat.

"It's okay, I understand. Just…please…let my son live…" She was trying to sit up. I pushed her back down gently.

 _I promise I'll protect you from here on out…I can't stand to see you in so much pain._ I watched her eyes start to close. Her breathing became even. Doctor Smiley returned with an I.V bag filled with blood and a needle. He gave me a look and I stepped away. He picked up her arm, poking her with the needle. I watched the blood go from the bag to her arm. He waited and watched.

"She's knocking on deaths door. After this, she should be out of the woods. Give her a couple days and a few transfusions she should be back to normal." I nodded at every word.

"Keep her in your quarters for the next couple of days, make sure someone is keeping watch. I'll come in every few hours to change the bags." He looked to me and I gave a slow nod.

Putting my arms underneath her, I lifted her up with ease. She felt lighter then she looked. That worried me…Doctor Smiley grabbed the I.V rod. The walk to my quarters was a silent one, he was angry with me, I could tell. I couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy. He was going to be close to her, fixing her, changing her bandages. He reached over to open the door, and I followed in with her. We went to my bed, I lightly laid her down. Taking my suit jacket from her. She slept peacefully. Doctor Smiley nodded to the door. I followed.

"I understand you're a creature, a monster and the devil…but damn it. She's just barely a child! I get it, it's your job to be evil, but look at her! She's been ripped from her only family. She misses her own child. I knew you were a monster, but why are you so damn heartless? What is it about her, that you've been wanting for so damn long?" He poked at my chest, his voice laced with venom. I just looked at her through the open door. She laid there, motionless…her chest rising and falling.

"Well?!" He snapped, when I looked back at him. I looked right into his red eyes. Something I try to avoid doing.

"I don't know. I've watched her for so long, the moment she ran into L.J…and there was a grace about her that I couldn't get out of my head. I saw the suffering and pain she went through. I enjoyed it. I loved it. Her story, has grown on me. She has grown on me." I crossed my arms, shaking my head slowly.

"She's the only human, I've ever met to fool me." I chuckled shaking my head.

"And…her singing captivated me the moment I heard her sing to her son." I sighed leaning lightly against my door. I watched Doctor Smiley. He was angry with me, at me. I understood why.

"I'm not going to fix your messes for the rest of eternity. You set this straight, and you set it straight soon." He gave another look to Faylen.

"You better fix her soon Zalgo. Or there won't be another chance. Like I said. One more time and that's it. She's fucked up her wrists so bad I had to fight it to stay closed…" He sighed softly.

"You know her story. I don't. I'll check on her off and on throughout the night." I watched him walk away from me, I turned and looked back into my bedroom. Faylen laid out on my bed, sleeping. The bag barely transferred.

 _I wonder how long it'll take for it to go completely into her…_ I sighed rubbing my forehead. I felt a massive migraine peaking around the corner.

…

The bed sunk down, waking me from the best dream I've ever had. Moaning, I opened my eyes. The light was bright and made me wince. It was a man with a white coat, a mask and black hair. The red eyes came last. I tried sitting up to get away, he just laid a hand down on my chest and softly pushed me back down.

"Shush, it's alright Faylen. I'm here to help you. Not harm you." His voice was deep, deeper then I would've guessed him having. Underneath that white jacket was a black shirt and red tie. He had glasses, and seemed alright. So, I laid back down. My head was throbbing and my mouth was dry as hell.

"I'm thirsty…" I croaked, he nodded.

"I suspect you would. You've been sleeping the last few days." I tried rubbing my eyes, a poking feeling in my arm stopped me. I looked down, seeing an I.V sticking out of my arm.

"Fuck me…" I whispered, I lifted my arms to see the bandages wrapped around my wrists.

"You did a number on yourself. So, I'd say you fucked yourself pretty damn good." Shaking his head, he sighed, moving something to the left and I turned my head. He held a glass of water with a straw.

"Here." I moved my head to the colorful thing, and I started chugging.

"Ah. Ah. No. No." He pulled the glass away from me.

"Slowly. The faster you drink it, the more it's going to hurt your stomach. Take a sip and swish it around your mouth." He brought it back, and I took the biggest sip I could. It felt so good running down my throat.

"You gave Zalgo quite a scare." I coughed the water back up.

"What do you mean I gave him a scare? The point was to off myself so he could leave my son alone!" I screeched, the man nodded.

"I understand your plan. I knew what you were thinking. All it would've done was put your son in further danger…" He looked away from me to the door. He leaned in a little closer, I saw an etched smile against the doctor's mask, his red eyes blazing.

"Do you even understand how Zalgo feels about you child?" He whispered, I shook my head.

"Other than he wants to use me as a sing song bird?" I replied, the man shook his head slowly.

"No. He cares for you. Much deeper than that. For if he did only care about you as a pet. He wouldn't have tried saving you. I should know. There have been a few." He leaned away from me.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, he helped me sit up in the bed. He placed pillows behind my back and one above my head.

"Because I'm going to be the only friend you have in this place, unless you listen to Sadie and understand what she is. She saved your life Faylen." He took the covers and placed them around me. I blinked for a moment.

"That cold girl?" I felt confused, the man nodded.

"She understood your feelings. It's what she was made to do. Her names 'Suicide Sadie' for a reason. She's a ghost in your world, trapping people into believing it's the only way out. Zalgo gave her a place here." He sat down again looking at me.

"And who are you?" I whispered, he took off the doctors' mask. Underneath it, was a regular mouth. Nothing funky or cut…nothing. He gave me a light smile.

"My names Doctor Smiley. I'm not a normal doctor. I treat demons, proxies and other beings as such. You were the first human I've ever saved. I loathe human beings." He gave a tilt to his head.

"You have something about you that draws us in. It's will. The will to fight and live. Not many have it. You've tasted death several times in your short life. And we bite into it like Eve bit into the apple of knowledge. Its irritable." He leaned forward for a moment.

"Just a warning. If you do something that completely ruins Zalgo. The world will end. It will go into completely and total chaos. Armageddon. The end of days. The time of complete and total chaos…" He looked at me.

"What he looks like now, isn't what he truly looks like. He's doing that so you can feel comfortable. He maybe a total hard ass. I promise you something Faylen, he's not a total douche. He does care. And he feels guilty about you trying to kill yourself. He just wants…" He placed his finger to his chin and started to rub as if thinking.

"He just wants something. I don't know what quite yet. But I'm sure it has something to deal with you and Laughing Jack." He started to get up when I took hold of his wrist. When he looked at me, I wanted to say something but I couldn't.

"I promise Faylen, I won't allow him to harm you. And he wouldn't want to do it on purpose any way. He's actually a good guy…" He gave it a little thought.

"Somewhat." He chuckled.

"Are you saying…that you're going to be my friend…?" I whispered, he nodded slowly.

"Yes, and Sadie will too. You must give her a chance. She's a very emotional creature. She acts out of emotion. It's how it goes her where she is now." He shook his head slowly.

"She was a rather beautiful human. I wish I would've known her sooner. I might've stopped her from harming herself…" His eyes turned somber, he started to hunch over.

"There's so much about her I wanted to learn about, but she forgot. Ever since Zalgo turned her into a pasta, she can't remember anything from her past. That's just how it works. She only remembers waking up in absolute agony. And then the hunger, the hunger for more murders. That's what he does. He takes away all memory of who you once were, and replace it to what you truly are. A monster." He looked at me, his mouth set in a frown.

"That's what they don't tell you. Once he wipes you clean of who you used to be, you become what we are all are on the inside. A monster. A killer. None of us are safe." He put his doctors mask back on.

"It's nice to see you're finally awake. I'm glad I did something good. Normally what I do is for evil. Because you know, I'm an angel of death." His cheeks rose as a smile.

"Unlike most doctors, who help patience cheat death. I help them achieve it…" He sighed in content.

"The first one is always the best. Then, after that you're off trying to chase that high…some achieve it by different ways of murder and others…well…" He gave me another look.

"Look at that human serial killer Stu. He went after his own family, and see how that turned out. Laughing Jack took it into his own hands and tore him limb from limb. Slowly and tediously he skinned him. It wasn't a slow death." He started standing again, this time I didn't stop him.

"So, if I agree to…to become this thing, I would forget everything I knew?" I asked, Doctor Smiley nodded.

"Everything and everyone. Your son, your romance with Laughing Jack. All you would remember would be Zalgo and who he is, what he does and the rules." I gave him one more look.

"Rules…?" I whispered. He nodded.

"No humans live. No romance with a human. Always obey the master. Work with your partner, no matter who it is with no fuss. Kill without hesitation. And finally, never go against the protocols." He looked at the blood bag, tilting it over.

"One more of these and you should be set. I have this and regular saline running through your system. If you get hungry and or thirsty, call. I'm sure someone will feed you. I want you to stay in bed for a couple of days to regain your strength. You should only get up to use the restroom." I gave another nod slowly.

"I had the want to kill you, by over dosing you…but then I thought about Zalgo and how he would destroy my contract and send people after me." He shrugged again, I gave another confused look.

"There's so much more to this life then you're ready for dear." He waved before leaving the room. I sat there staring at my feet.

 _What the fuck am I going to do now?_ I sighed closing my eyes. I had to re-think my plan. I had to get out, one way or another…and apparently suicide wasn't a way out. Who knew they had a fucking doctor on board? I groaned and closed my eyes for a moment. I needed to think…

"Hello sleepy head." His voice traveled from the corner of the room. When I opened my eyes, my heart skipped a beat. Zalgo was sitting in a rather nice chair, watching me.

"You scared me nightingale…I thought I'd lost you." His eyes were sincere. His voice held empathy…and my body was tingling from his gaze.

"What can I say to make you comfortable?" He asked, I shook my head slowly.

"Just…make sure my son isn't going to be harmed…that's all I ask." He started to shake his head slowly. When he stood, he walked over to the bedside table. He took hold of something that looked like oatmeal. He sat down where Doctor Smiley once sat, with the spoon he started to feed me.

"We shall discuss this some other time. Right now, let's focus on you feeling better. Alright?" I took the bite of food without question. My stomach was screaming at me, I knew I was starving. He took another spoonful and fed me again. It tasted fantastic. I wanted more.

"There's something I must tell you, that needs to stay between us Faylen…" I looked at him sharply.

"I've cared for you, I've cared about you for a very long time now…I know I can be a completely emotionless ass hat…but I'm being serious when I say that." I opened my mouth for another bite of oatmeal.

"When Sadie came and got me, I felt like I knew something was off…that…I knew something bad was going to happen to you." He removed the spoon to gently wipe away some that fell on my chin. He continued feeding me, not allowing me to say a word.

"I've watched you grow into a beautiful young woman. When Laughing Jack didn't kill you, I figured I knew why. You took care of him, you made him feel less lonely then he had ever been. So, I got it. I understood. It was when he didn't kill your son that pissed me off. I allow all my pastas to have one freebie. It's the only way for them to remain…docile. And when he couldn't kill Calen, I figured he was testing the waters…that was, till I saw you. And I knew why. Laughing Jack loved you, and the woman you had blossomed into. You had will power so strong it shocked me. I…" He stopped, shaking his head slowly.

"You even tricked me into believing you were giving into me. It's funny actually…how easy you can manipulate someone, by using their feelings against them." He looked at me.

"And that's what you did. You sang your little heart out till there was nothing left to sing…you thought you could save your son's life, by ending your own…giving me nothing to hold over your head…there is one thing you didn't know…" He scooped the last bit of oatmeal up and plopped it in my mouth.

"Your soul will still come to me. In that moment, you had such anger, aggression, and the want for revenge against me…I would take it, rip every memory you have out of your brain, and make you mine. I know it sounds sick, but that's just how this world works. Doctor Smiley wasn't kidding Faylen, when he said all that. That's just what we do here. We keep chaos balanced." He placed the bowl down, and I swallowed my last bite. In that moment, he placed his hand on my cheek, this thumb stroking my bottom lip.

"You've been the highlight of my immortal existence Faylen…" He was leaning forward, my heart started to jump out of my chest. I didn't want to stop him…I wanted…I wanted…

He pressed his lips against mine, they were full and warm. My heart leapt in my throat. My stomach was on fire, and the tips of my toes and fingers were tingling. Gently he ran his fingers through my hair. He was heavy on top of me, but not uncomfortable. The tips of his hair tickled my face, I felt myself start to scream internally of joy.

He broke the kiss for a moment before giving me another one, again my entire body felt charged by electricity. My heart kept skipping beats, I couldn't breathe.

 _What's wrong with me…?_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter twelve: Revelations

I pulled the backpack over my shoulder, looking behind me at the dark apartment. Myu was asleep so was Arora. This was my chance. I was going to get answers about my mother, one way or another. It had been awhile since she disappeared, and Jack wasn't going to do anything about it. I wanted to know where she was, and who this person was that scared Jack so bad. I gave the apartment one last look over before closing it behind me. I locked it with a click. I caught a glimpse of myself within the glass that laid on the door. I grew so much in the last seven years, I turned eighteen last month. My hair grew out to my shoulders, I put on a bit of muscle from running so much. My green eyes were dead. Empty. My face stayed clear of any hair. I kept the bag close before looking away from myself. I couldn't stand looking into my own eyes. They reminded me of my mom the one person I loved so deeply, the only person who had taken her life and saved mine.

 _I hadn't stopped trying to find her, I always kept asking Dad if he could take me there. Every year, on the day. And he kept telling me no. He changed so much in the last seven years, he kept growing darker and darker each year. Till he finally came back to where I first met him. Nothing else has changed. He still loves me, tells me every day that I see him. He fights against his better self, I know he does…so, tonight…_ I walked down the stairs, it was the night of the full moon, and I was going to get my way. I was going to find my mother, one way or another. I went to the parking lot to my new car Myu bought me for my eighteenth birthday. I had been driving for the last two years or more. The night sky was clear of clouds, the stars sparkled the moons rays danced on the asphalt. I dropped the bag into the seat next to me before getting into my own seat. Turning the engine over, I listened to the car purr. Her engine was silent, and she had turbo. Pulling out of my spot, I took off.

 _Mom…I hope that fucker hasn't done anything to you. I swear to god, I'll figure out a way to get to you. I don't care how I do it. I'll do it…_ I reached forward rubbing the thin scars against my wrists. The depression hadn't gotten better. It had grown worse, just like dad had grown more sorrowful and lonely each year. No one knew, I made sure they never did.

The bliss I felt through each cut made me feel that much closer to my mom. I felt if I kept trying, I just might end up seeing her, one way or another. I was sick and tired of feeling alone, empty and... remembering that night over and over. I heard every word clear as day. I see it every single time I look in the mirror, the rope scars around my throat. What Stu did to everyone I knew…

"I'm coming mom." I let my foot push on the gas pedal. My speedometer reaching fifty-five in a forty. I didn't care if I was breaking the law. I was going to get my answers tonight. One way or another.

I took a turn, and watched as I went passed the city limits and started driving into the more remote houses. My fingers tapped against the steering wheel. I felt nervous…I knew this was risky, all the research I had done, I knew the risks. I was fine with it. Even if I gave myself up, I knew what I had to do, and I was okay with everything. I took a deep breath and let them out slowly. I bit down onto my lip ring pulling it gently.

 _What if I find out where my mom is? What am I going to say to her? It's been seven years that she's been gone…what, what am I going to do?_ I took a deeper breath filling my lungs.

 _Well, I'll hug her first. She'll probably not know who I am…I've changed a lot…_ I laughed.

"That's an understatement…I've put on so much weight from football…it's the only other thing I can do to help my issues." I tapped my fingers to the music. It was a heavier rock band that I haven't listened to before, but I liked them.

"God, it's been too long…I'm graduating next year. She hasn't seen me, I haven't seen her. Would she look any different?" I pushed the pedal heavier, hitting sixty-five. There wasn't much of a choice. I had to do it. I looked at the dashboard, the clock reading elven thirty. I had thirty minutes left.

 _This is dangerous…I'm playing with fire here. I must do it…_ I took another turn, pulling into a long driveway that had overgrown cherry blossoms all over it. Weeds grew up from the cracks. The large mansion stood before me, looming…eerie. My heart skipped for a moment which was new. I hadn't felt fear since that night Stu tried hanging me from a tree. Slowing up a bit more, I turned around the circular driveway. I parked beside the sidewalk. I took hold of my bookbag, slinging it over my shoulder I got out of my car.

The smell of over grown flowers assaulted my nose. It reminded me of my childhood, when things were good. Before everything went to the shitter. I grabbed my torch from my belt loop and turned it on. Panning over the asphalt to the fountain, I saw the weeds wrapping around it. Water still lingered within it, though it had been turned off long ago, after everything had happened. Moving my torch to the front of the mansion, the stairs were once beautiful marble now had moss grown over it. Vines crawled around the wrap around and pillars. I took a deep breath of floral air.

 _Nothing like today…_ I looked at my smart watch. Elven forty-five…

I took the steps two at a time, I was ready for battle. I knew what I had to do.

Turning the door knob, it opened with ease. The house smelt of dust and mildew. I panned my torch over the entire entrance way. It was covered in rust covered stains. The smell of copper lingered just lightly in the air. Something I was expecting. I closed the door, pulled my bag off my shoulder. Holding the torch in my mouth, I aimed it down at my bag. Unzipping I grabbed my supplies. Candle, paper, black pen, matches, salt, and a razor. I kept my muscles as relaxed as I possibly could, I looked at my watch, it was five minutes till midnight. I didn't want to wait anymore…but I had too.

 _How could this go wrong? You know what you must do. You won't fuck it up Calen. This is nothing, you've waited five years. You've planned this, now…now it's time._ My alarm went off, I took my paper, wrote my full name down. My hand writing was neat and in cursive. I took the razor and sliced my pointer finger open, placing it over the paper I watched it drip onto the material. I waited for the paper to drink it up. I placed the paper in front of the door, striking a match I lit the wick of the candle. I placed it on top of the paper. My knuckles rapped twenty-two times on the door, blowing out my candle, I opened the door and closed it.

I relit my candle, closing my eyes I waited. Listening intensely into the silence of the murder house. I had three hours to survive. If I win the game, I'd have all the answers I need…and if I lost, I would join those in hell.

…

The rapping of knuckles against a wooden door made me look up, I had fallen asleep on the couch next to Faylen, who laid out on my bed. I scratched my head thinking it was someone at my own door. When no one came in, I heard the final few raps. I got to my feet, cracking my neck. It was time for me to work, whoever was summoning me was rather eager in whatever they wanted. I went to pull on my dress shirt, I put my hair up at the nape of my neck. I was already in my dress pants, I stopped putting my shoes on, when Faylen rolled over. She moaned gently. Smiley had taken her off the I.V bags, and he gave me strict orders to allow her to rest. I wanted to give her the world, I wanted to show her what absolute power would feel like. To give her a chance at a normal life and a normal world. Where I live, would be the new norm for her. It was the least I could do…I sighed finishing my shoes.

 _The kiss we shared…if she hadn't felt anything in that, then I'm wasting my time…_ Straighten my back out I gave her another look over, her hand wrapped around the locket in a tight grasp. Her eyes closed tight, her chest rising and falling slowly. She was in a deep sleep…closing my eyes, lifting my head. I allowed myself to lift and disappear.

Darkness swirled around me, I was faced with the smell of mildew and mold…it made me crinkle my nose. The air was stale, static lingered within the room…death waivered in the air…it stunk. When I opened my eyes, I was left in the darkness of a haunted home. The swallowing death was of children, whoever did the deed, did it with a deeper underlying hatred.

 _But of whom I wonder...?_ My eyes took in the darkness, staring at the wooden door in front of me. I turned to look over my shoulder, what I wasn't expecting was the bright green eyes that stared at me. I was shell shocked. For a moment I believed I saw Faylen's twin. Knitting my brows together, I looked around. The man-child stood before me, he was large. Shorter then me, but large. His lip was pierced, his hair was dyed a strange purple or maroon color…he was staring at me with such emptiness as if he was waiting for death. Still…when I looked him over, I took him in.

"You should be running." I spoke. He didn't make a move, he pursed his lips. Lip ring sticking out like a sore thumb. There was something about him that rung as familiar. Still I couldn't place my finger on what…he moved only slightly, the torch he held swung over my face and I still stared at him.

"Are you him?" The man-child asked me, his voice was deep. Deeper than I had previously thought, I moved slightly uncomfortable.

"Who are you referring to?" I asked, he chuckled.

"Where is she?" He snapped, again I looked at him.

"Who?" I asked. He took a step up to me, a knife was brandished to me. It took a second before I realized what was on his skin. He had the same markings as Faylen, I took a step up to him and grasped the back of his head, holding onto his fake colored hair. Forcing his head back to look at his neck. Rope scars littered around his throat.

"You're Calen." I snapped. I let the man-child go. He only looked at me with bright eyes that showed surprise and nothing more. Calen took a step back ready to attack. I just laughed.

"Child, you can't attack me. I'm a devil and I'll break your soul into two." He crossed his arms lightly.

"I'm supposed to kill you, you know." He snapped, Calen was quick on his feet. Attacking him from the side, I sighed taking his wrist and pulling it behind his back.

"Where's Faylen?" Calen snapped, at the sound of her name I froze slightly. This was _the_ Calen. Faylen's son. I brought him down to his knees, squeezing his wrist harder than before staring at him.

"You're her son, aren't you?" I growled, Calen didn't cry as he got to his knees. He just stared at me, hatred within his eyes.

"Yes." He grunted.

"Where's my mother?" He snapped, raising my brow I grinned.

"Dead." I chuckled, finally a spark crossed his eyes. He pushed back with all his strength within his legs. Though his bones were cracking he was fighting back at me. He screamed at the top of his lungs, I watched his other hand reaching into his back pocket. I wasn't surprised at the razor coming to my throat. My other hand caught his wrist. He screamed louder.

"You're no match for me kid." I sighed softly.

"You're a human. That's all you are." I felt bored…

 _Should I just off him and go home?_ He screamed again, I turned to look back at him. Using his momentum, he swung his legs and kicked me in the chest. When I let him go, he was running back at me, using both the knife, and razor to attack. _This_ I was surprised about. I had to move my throat out of the way from being nicked.

"Where is she?!" He screamed again, I brought my foot out getting him at the back of the knee. He fell flat on his ass. I watched as he tried getting back up again, I took one more swift kick to his face. He flew down on the rust colored marble floor.

"She's safe." I snapped, the man-child looked at me. That fire within his eyes reminded me of Liu. Jeffrey's brother. I had to take a step back for a moment. That fire that struck his soul.

"Take me to see her. Now." He snapped. I raised my hand slowly.

"I can't let you do that Calen. If I did I would have to kill her." As I was about to take my leave, Calen through another surprise my way.

"You don't understand, I have to see her. I have to make sure you've done no harm to my mother." I watched him get to his feet. Crossing my arms, I gave a sigh.

 _What do I have to tell him?_ Shaking my head slowly, he was staring me down.

"What do I have to do, to get to her?" He asked me, the question took me by surprise.

"If begging you won't get me to her, I have to find another way…" He raised his chin.

"So, tell me. What do I have to do to see my mother again?" He no longer played child, he stood to me as a man. I felt my lip lift in a half smile.

"You want to know how to get to me? You've done one way, perhaps you should as your _father_." I spat the words from my mouth. Calen clenched his fist, his jaw ticked. He put on a good amount of weight, he was built like a weight lifter.

 _I wonder if he can run fast._ I watched his eyes flash a challenge.

"Do I have to burn an entire town down to get to you? How many people do I have to kill? What do I have to do to see my mother again Zalgo?" He had called me out directly! It was almost laughable. I only crossed my arms, leaned heavier against my left leg and only shook my head at him.

"Why don't you let sleeping dogs lay? You know she's with me, you know you won't ever see her again. No matter what you do. Laughing Jack played his cards, and he chose you over her. Do you understand why he did that?" I asked him, at the mention of Jack's name his eyes turned malicious.

"Leave my father out of this!" He screamed, lunging.

It was easy to move from him. I watched Calen fall flat on his ass. I was highly disappointed.

"Child, you won't get into hell like that. You're weak, pathetic, and a human. You may have the same sickness as your mother, but I swear to me you're nothing like her. You don't have the potential she does. You've seen, and been through a lot. But your mother has tasted death three times. All because of you!" I went to him, words poured from my mouth.

"Seeing your mother isn't worth the pain Calen. Trust me. The shit I would have to put you through, you'd be better off dying old, decrepit and alone." I shook my head.

"Do you even understand what I would have to do?" I took a handful of his shirt and lifted him to face me.

"I can see the pain in your eyes, I see the misery your mother and father has caused you. I know you wish you had a restart button, so you can go back those eleven years…but I promise you something boy, you don't want, what I can give you." I watched his eyes cloud over for a second.

"Oh yes, there's a restart button alright. You'd forget everything, your past, your mother, your father, Myu, your goddaughter. Everyone. You'll only retain your strongest suits, whether that be talent, strength, intellect, will, or…in very rare cases charisma." I cracked a grin.

"We already have plenty of runners, we have a painter, we have two clowns, we have enough abused children…not to mention too many fucking cannibals…" I let his shirt go, watching him hit the ground.

"What. Fucking. Good. Would. You. Be?" I placed my hands on my hips waiting for an answer that I knew I wasn't going to get.

"What don't you have…?" He asked. I was surprised by his cards.

 _He's a negotiator obviously…he might work as a spy…_ Shaking my head.

 _No. Don't even…_ I cracked a grin.

"I need someone to wash my underwear." His eyes looked at me.

"I'll do it! I'll be your butler."

I held my stomach laughing. I laughed so hard I felt like my insides were going to explode.

"You think yourself so low, to scrub the shit from my drawers?" I felt the laughter explode from my chest again.

"God you're pathetic Calen!" I reached up to wipe a tear from my eye.

"Besides, we have plenty of suicidal ghosts, an elf that haunts a game, a child who was raped with a possessed fucking toy, and of course my really good friend Slenderman whom I'm proud to say…I never created…his children on the other hand…" I gave a bright smile.

"They were beautiful works of art…" My smile grew when I had finally acquired a rather…good idea.

"What are you thinking about?" He snapped at me, I brought my hand up to my chin rubbing gently.

"Know who you remind me of…?" I asked, slowly he shook his head.

"You remind me of a very young Ed Gein…he had a rather… _interesting_ relationship with his mother…you have the same qualities…" Kneeling in front of him I looked him over.

"Does your love for your mother go… _deeper_ than just worry? Is there a _sexual_ fantasy for her?" I asked, I watched his face blanche, he swallowed hard. I listened to the gurgle of his stomach. His lips turned an ash white and I scoffed.

"No?" I shrugged.

"Do you have a deep scathing rage?" I asked, only his eyes flickered.

 _He hates me. Good._

"Do you have…a deep loathing inside you?" I drew closer, the rage within those green eyes of his was a good sign. I felt the smile cross my lips.

"I've had many cases of people killing their bullies. You have none, but me. And you, can't kill me. You're showing me that you're nothing more than a sad, emo, mommy's boy. And I have plenty of those as well. Jeff the Killer, and Homicidal Liu. They're brothers. Jeff tried to kill him, he came to me…and well..." I gave a shrug getting to my feet.

"Laughing Jack, was loneliness. Suicide Sadie obvious for her. Clockwork just snapped, Jane the Killer was a Jeff wanna be…ah…!" I raised a finger.

"The most unique I've ever had however…" I gave a quick grin.

"Would have to be Doctor Smiley. No one knows his story, but me. It changes every single time someone asks. Some believe he was the real Jack the Ripper, some believe he was the night stalker…my favorite however, is that he's the real devil." I laughed lightly.

"Your mother however…would be even more unique then him…" I became lost in thought for a moment.

"You're thinking about turning my mother…into…" His voice cracked, and I just nodded.

"I get goosebumps thinking about it. Faylen, prowling the streets. Her voice bringing anyone near her, then boom. Their throats are slit. She's beautiful, her voice angelic, and no one expects a thing. The sad part is…I'd wipe her clean of all memories for the expectation of me." I watched his face blanche.

"Yes Calen. That is how it work. I wipe all memories, but the emotions stay. Pain, suffering, anger, depression, they will haunt you. Just like they will haunt your mother when I am done with her. The feeling of betrayal by her lover…your father, the feeling of being alone, left by her own mother…and the hatred of your real father…will all make up the perfect monster. The one I am willing to create." I crossed my arms.

"The human psyche is such a fragile thing, I mention your name and your mother bows to my will." I watched him shrink into himself. I was finally getting somewhere.

"You still wish to become the person, who scrubs the shit out of my boxers?" I asked grinning.

"You'll become a zombie, a nobody…or. If there is some deep emotion within you, it will come out. I will see it the moment you change. And once you change, there will be no going back…" I crossed my arms, the smiling fading.

"In trade for your soul, you become immortal. That doesn't mean you can't die. It just means you won't be able to get sick, or age. You'll be stuck at eighteen forever. You get shot in the head, you die. You slit your wrists, you die. You receive a fatal blow. You die. Have no fear of death. Have rage, have the want the need to kill. Use your emotions to do your bidding. Knowing how to fight, and how to defend yourself will only take you so far." I was starting to get bored.

"How am I supposed to do that?" He snapped at me. I only gave a half shrug.

"I'll give you a few weeks to think it over. Remember this; everything will be wiped. The only things that stay are predominate. That includes hatred." I watched him smile.

"I promise, out of my mother and fathers sake…I'll kill you for what you've done." I gave him a wave.

"I'd love to see that."

…

The ride back to the apartment was a slow one, the sun just barely peaking over the edges of the tree line. My heart ran hard within my chest, my body ached from the beating Zalgo had placed on me…still I learned something important. My mother was still alive. What her sanity was like, I was unsure.

 _I wish I would've gotten more out of him. At least my mom is still alive, but…does she remember me? Has he turned her yet? He didn't say he has…but…what if he did? Could she be out hunting this very moment? Would he use her in the covert darkness, or during the day?_ Clenching the steering wheel, I felt my palms become slick.

 _After everything I've seen, everything I've been through…I'm still scared. What if I do go through with this? How would I bring mom back? She's stuck there!_ I took a deep breath in, letting it out through my mouth.

"She's alive…that's the important thing. At least I have something to tell to Aunt Myu…that mom hasn't been killed. At least…not yet." Still…

 _Something doesn't seem right about him…he seems to like more mental torture then anything…_ Anger flushed through my stomach, making my heart palpate. I could hear his voice inside my head.

 _Everything will be wiped, for the exception of hatred._

I started to shake, tremble…whatever you wanted to call it. He had my mother, he held her hostage and used her against my will.

 _And I refuse to give up, to give in…I will be different, I'll catch his eye…even if I must end up scrubbing the shit from his underwear, I'll get to my mom…I won't forget her. I won't…_

Pulling into the parking lot I got out of my car, thanking god it was a Saturday and I didn't have to go into school. I was bone tired and wanted to sleep…I stopped for a moment seeing police cars outside.

 _Shit…_

The moment I got into the apartment Myu was up, pacing and I saw the rage within her eyes. She grew so much older the last ten years. I saw her age within her face, the moment she opened her mouth I knew I was in deep shit.

"Calen Isaac Snow! You gave me a god damn heart attack! Where the hell were you?!" The shrill of her voice made me wince, the two cops seemed relieved to see me. As I tried to open my mouth to speak, she stopped me by pointing her finger at me.

"Don't you fucking start! You knew what happened to your mother, how fucking dare you get up in the middle of the god damn night and disappear without a trace! Your bookbag was gone, your car was gone so was your knife. Do you know how scared I was?! I thought I'd lost you too!" She walked up to me, placing her hands to my face. I rolled my eyes.

"Aunt Myu…" I tried speaking, and she still shook her head.

"I don't want to hear it! Tell these officers you're sorry!" I bent down so she could kiss my forehead. I looked over to the officers who seemed more then content to watch her yell and be motherly to me.

"Sorry guys." I said, the sound of my voice was muffled by her squeezing my cheeks together again.

I looked like a damn fish.

 _I must tell her…_

She let my face go, showed the police officers out. They were laughing and chuckling.

"They were trying to tell me, that it's normal for a teen to go out, disappear for an entire night-"

"Aunt Myu-"

"I was trying to tell them, no. Not you. You're a good boy." She was wiping her face again, her eyes rimmed red.

"Aunt-"

"They kept insisting that it would have to be twenty-four hours before I could put missing persons in-"

 _Jesus Christ, missing person?!_

"Aun-"

"Calen please god, tell me you didn't do anything stupid…" She faces me, crossing her arms over her chest. I felt the words die in my throat. The fight gone as I saw the real worry on her beautiful face. I only hung my head. As if she could read through me she stepped up touching my chest.

"What did you do…" It wasn't a question.

She knew.

She knew I did something I wasn't supposed to.

"She's alive Aunt Myu." I looked her directly in the eyes. They widened, her mouth opened slightly. The fear that crept in them made me pause.

"What…?" She whispered.

"Mom. She's alive." I placed my hands on her forearms, I felt her shaking.

"What have you done…?" She whispered.

"Where…? Where is she?! Where's your mother Calen?!" Her voice rose slightly, having a hint of shrillness. Slowly I shook my head.

"It's a long story…" The tears were back, her chin trembled.

"Tell me Calen! Where's your mother!" She released me only to push me back. The absolute horror within her voice surprised me. Gently I led her over to the leather couch, she sat without fighting me. Her leg was bouncing as her eyes darted back and forth.

"What do you mean she's alive Calen…? That can't be right…she's been missing for ten years! How can you be so sure?" Her voice dropped to a whisper, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. I sat down next to her gently placing my hand onto her knee. Myu's eyes looked within mine, and I felt her fear, her horror.

"I found him, I found the demon who took mom…he has her. I must find a way to get her back, the only way I can think of…is to join him. And if I do that, he told me all my memory will be wiped clean. Everyone I knew, loved and cared about…will be no more." All color drained from her face, already she was shaking her head at me.

"No! I've almost lost you once, I'm not going to lose you again. I refuse." I was watching her stand, shaking her head hard at me.

"Calen, your mother would never forgive me if I allowed you to do something stupid like that! Nor would your father!" She placed her hands on her hips, shaking her head again.

"I can't let you do that…what would you be?" She asked me, I bit my bottom lip looking at her. I took a deep breath in before sighing.

"I'd more than likely be his butler." I lifted my chin, she narrowed her eyes at me.

"You'd be scrubbing his bloomers?" She asked, again I nodded.

"No. I'm not allowing that. You said all your memories will be wiped clean…you wouldn't remember me, Arora, your own mother or father…" Her age started to set in her face before leaning against the kitchen sink.

"Calen…"

"Myu, I can do this. I must do this. I've been looking for Faylen the last ten years. You haven't stopped either. Now, I've found the information that Jack wasn't going to tell me. He refused to tell me who had her, and I found out myself." I was getting excited, even if she told me not to…I would still do it, either way.

"I promised to look after you Calen…" She turned to look at me, and I saw the pain radiating within her eyes.

"What am I going to tell Arora? You know she's stuck to you like glue…"

I took a deep breath in and sighed.

"She'll be fine Myu. I need to do this, I need to make sure he hasn't harmed a hair on her head. I need to do it for me. Jack's not going to do anything, he's scared of him." I looked down at the palms of my hands, the feeling of pride swelling within my chest.

"She's my mom. I must make sure she's alive and well…Jack buckles every single time I ask him about her. And he just shakes me off…it's like he doesn't even care…" The truth came from my lips, something I wasn't intending on doing.

"Calen!" The sharpness in her voice made me flinch.

"He saved your life! He made sure that you wouldn't have been preyed upon by that monster! You expect him to bow down whenever you ask him for something? I didn't raise no spoiled brat!" She sat down next to me again.

"I lost my entire family that night. All my boys, almost you, and your mother…the staff…everyone. Have you thought about how this not only affects you but everyone around you?" She took my hand and held it.

"Calen, there are more people hurting around you then just you. Your father still misses your mother dearly. I know you can see it every night that you visit him. He's probably worried sick about you now." Gently she moved a stay hair away from my eye.

"There's so much more going on than you, or I know…" She bit her bottom lip, deep in thought.

"Are you sure, this is something you want to do? Are you positive that you want to take the risk of forgetting everyone, and everything you know…just to find your mother?" The moment the question came from her lips, I looked her directly in the eyes.

"I would do anything to have my mom back home, safe and sound. You haven't seen Jack, he hasn't been the same. He's dark again…he has no color. I'm sure if I say something to him about her being alive-"

She raised her voice at that.

"No! He mustn't know…if you tell him what you're going to do. It'll be all over for you. I'm against it, but I want to see your mom just as much as you do…please…if you decide to do this…be careful…" She held my hand and for once I felt like I knew what I had to do. And that was finding my mother, and bringing her home.

…

He was dragging, I watched him come back through the main door. I was sitting up in bed and he walked into his room. Zalgo had shadows casted over his face something was bugging him and I could feel it radiate off him.

"My king?" I broke the tense silence and he stood there, his shoulders become tight and his jaw ticked. A soft sigh came from his direction.

"Don't worry about it. It was nothing but business." He grumbled. I knew he was lying to me…but why?

"Why are you lying to me?" I asked, he looked over to me his eyes looked full of confusion. As if he was tossing something over his mind, I could almost see the cogwheels moving.

"Please tell me the truth. Where were you? I was worried…you've been gone for hours." I started moving, he was at my side in a second. He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Please don't move too much. Smiley said you need to be resting!" His hands moved me back into a laying position. Gently he laid me back down pulling the covers up to my chin, his hands touched my wrists, looking at the bandaging. They've already been changed, and he nodded in approval.

"Where were you?" I asked again, his lips went to a tight line and I saw the uncertainty fill his voice. He was about to lie to me again.

"Someone summoned me, and I had to deal with them accordingly." His hand smoothed my hair, I took his wrist into my hand and I watched his eyes fill with an unknown emotion.

"You're the most precious thing to me, I can't bear to harm you any further then I already have…" His eyes roamed over my face, and I felt nothing, but truth come from his lips. He looked at my lips longer then he should've, and he sighed.

"There's so much more to you then what I have given you. You'd make a beautiful queen, and a stunning monster. I'm not sure why I'm hesitating to turn you…perhaps it's fear?" He was asking more to himself then to me.

"Or…perhaps I don't want someone else's eyes to lay on your beautiful face…? I'll be the first to admit to being jealous…protective, and maybe even a little obsessed. I just don't want another male to touch you…" His breath came out heavy, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against mine, I considered his eyes.

"Zalgo…what's gotten into you?" I whispered, slowly he shook his head.

"I'm not sure Fay…but all I know is…I feel like I must protect you from everything else around us. I don't want you to be harmed ever again in my presence…" The love within his voice made my heart pitter patter. I took his face into my hands holding him there. I watched as his eyes closed, long lashes touched his cheeks. I ran my fingers over his cheek, the pain was obvious within his features.

"What did you do…?" I whispered. He only shook his head.

"If I tell you, I'll lose you all over again and I can't bear to have that happen…" He pressed his lips against mine.

"I can't lose you, my little song bird." He kissed me again, the passion within his kiss sent me further into the darkness that I had called home.

"I've fallen for you, I can't let you fly away from me now…"

 _He saw someone or thing that changed him…what? What did he see? Who did he talk too?_ He broke the kiss, my eyes watered.

"Zalgo…" I whispered, he pushed him from the bed.

"I promise I'll be back soon. I won't be long. I need to do my rounds and other kingly things. If you need something don't hesitate to ask Sadie or Smiley my dear." He gave me a wavered smile, and left me alone in the large room.

I got from the bed and went to the large window, the red sky casted a dark glow along the grounds. I sat down on the couch staring. I felt trapped…my heart wanted one thing, my mind wanted another.

 _I miss Calen, I miss Myu…I want my old life back…however, Zalgo has been coming around. He's been different…the haunted look on his face when he came in to check on me…_ I laid my chin on my arms, watching things move underneath me. Closing my eyes, tears tumbled down my cheeks.

 _I don't even want to die anymore…why? Why can't I just live the life I want to live? Why am I constantly stuck between a rock and a hard place? I have nowhere to go, I'm stuck here…I can't see Jack, I can't see my son…and now, I think I'm starting to feel for him as he feels for me…_ I sighed gently.

"You're supposed to be in bed Faylen."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Sacrifices

I turned my head to look over my shoulder, Doctor Smiley stood there his red eyes narrowing at me. He had a look of light displeasure on his face. As I got to my feet, I placed my hands in front of me interlocking them together. I kept my lips pursed, and I took a deeper breath in and sighed.

"I'm fine Smiley I promise. I feel a lot better than before…" I reached up, touching the locket around my neck. Feeling the presence of my son so near, made me feel a bit better. Still the look of unhappiness crossed his eyes.

"It's good that you're feeling better, but I need to check your bandages. I have to make sure you're healing just as fast as you're feeling." He waved his hand over to the bed, taking an inward sigh, I followed and sat down. I looked at him, he had on surgery scrubs that was splattered with blood. My eyes wondered over them…I wanted to know who, and why. Smiley was gentle working at my bandages, he didn't even make a face any more. He gently touched the stitches and nodded lightly.

"I'm sure within two or three more days I can take these out and you'll be fine. Like I said, don't do it again. Next time, I won't be able to save you. That'll be it, and you'll have no chance to ever see your son again." He smeared some sort of ointment over the stitches before wrapping them back up. My heart leapt within my throat as he mentioned my son. My eyes stared at him.

"What do you mean…see my son again?" My voice dropped to a whisper, he grinded his teeth together.

"I said too much, I'm sorry Faylen. I can't say anymore." He went to my other wrist working as fast as he could. I pulled my wrist away, defying him. He took a slow deep breath in, calming himself.

"Please give me your wrist, I need to check it over and make sure it's healing properly." He reached out, he didn't snatch my hand back, he waited.

"Tell me Smiley, what are you talking about? My son, how is he? Have you seen him? Whose blood is that all over you?" I pushed, he only shook his head at me. Anger filling his eyes.

"I already said too much. Give me your wrist, if you don't I'll tell Zalgo you're not healing properly, and you must stay in this bed till further notice." His voice dropped. It wasn't an empty threat either, I could tell by the flicker within his red eyes. I took a deep breath giving him my wrist. His fingers were gentle probing at the stitches.

"He's love sick you know?" Smiley filled the silence. My eyes looked from my wrist to him.

"Who?" I asked, he only chuckled at me.

"You're no idiot child. The king. He's love sick." He smeared the ointment over my wrist again and wrapped it up with white bandages, tying it off like he did the other one. My eyes dropped to my hands again, heart pounding hard enough to where I could hear it beat in my ears. My face flushed, I bit my bottom lip.

"Let me guess…with me…?" I croaked. He crossed his arms looking me over.

"I think you deserve a walk outside of this room. And I believe you're well enough to get dressed and walk with me. Correct?" Smiley raised his brow.

I looked at him, hope filled my chest. I wasn't alone…I finally felt like I had someone I could trust in this hellhole…

 _But for how long? He's a servant of Zalgo…how far can my trust go for him? The moment I slip up, he will run and tell him…wouldn't he?_ I took a deeper breath, letting it out slowly through my nose I nodded.

"A walk would be nice, I'm getting sick and tired of these four walls…" I panned around the room to emphasize what I was saying. Smiley nodded.

"I'm going to change, then I'll take you for a walk." Smiley gave a bow before leaving me alone. My heart was running wild within my chest. I felt the air choke me. I was finally going out of this place, to see where I was…and where I was going to go from there…

I jumped to the closet, filled with dresses, dress shirts, and skirts. I took one of the less glamorous dresses. Plain teal that reached to the floor. Strapless and held the chest area beautifully, being top heavy was a blessing yet also a curse. I slipped on a pair of comfortable black boots and tied them tightly. I placed my hair up in a ponytail and was ready to go.

I went to the door, and Smiley was already there waiting. He was out of his surgeons' scrubs and into something a bit more comfortable. Linking my arm around his, he helped me walk down the long hallway to the spiraling staircase. The doors up on this floor were all closed and locked.

Being off my feet for so long, my legs felt a little weak. Still, I could walk carefully. He was a silent partner, the only thing I could think of, was that he was there to make sure I wouldn't run off or try to kill myself again. Both, I would try to do again if given the chance that I would succeed. Still he held onto my arm tightly giving my hand a light squeeze. Still his silence was slightly unnerving.

"You've grown quite attached to the king, have you not?" The question came out of nowhere, surprising me. I gave him a look, high color coming to my cheeks.

"W-What? No." I looked away from him, he chuckled.

"You're a very poor liar, may I add." He replied, again I shot him a look.

"Why do you push matters that don't concern you?" I snapped. He only laughed a little louder.

"If it deals with the king, it matters much to me. Simply because he's a good friend of mine. Besides, he helped me out when I was stuck in a very…sticky situation." He lifted his chin slightly.

"You might say, I was the second one he had ever made." His red eyes remained forward.

"Who are you…?" I asked, he shook his head in response.

"That answer might terrify you even more, and may force you not to trust me. All I should say on the matter…is that if you hurt my king, my best friend…I'll slaughter you in such a way, no one will ever find every piece of you." His grip became painfully tight.

"Do I make myself clear?" His eyes remained in front of him, as he led me down another long hallway. The longer I refused to answer him the tighter his grip became.

"Do I make myself clear." His voice was harsh, and I nodded.

"Ow! Yeah, you do." I tried pulling away, he held me fast.

"Now, now…no need to try and run away from the good ol doctor dear. I promise nothing will hurt you if you stick with me, and the King. A lot of the monsters around here want a piece of you…even though you're marked by our King, you haven't been turned yet. So…" His eyes glanced at me.

"You're almost fair game to every monster around here…just know, that even if you tried to run away, you'd be caught and eaten by something here." He gave a careless shrug.

"Maybe even me." Smiley barked a laugh.

 _Oh god…I don't think I can trust him anymore…_ I shivered at his short laugh and I looked back down at my feet.

"Oh, may I add you look lovely my dear. I think the king would enjoy the sight of you." I snapped a look at him.

"What?" It came out short. His cheeks raised in a smile.

"Oh yes. I'm just leading you outside, the King has something else planned for you. What, I'm not sure." He shrugged. We went down the final staircase, at the bottom Zalgo stood waiting for me. His eyes lit up at the sight of me, his face flushed a light pink his lips pursed. He seemed eager to see me. Zalgo outstretched his hand and waited for me to take it.

There was no hesitation, I took his large hand into my small one, he pulled me to his bulky body. I took him in, and he took me into his arms. I felt my heart start to race and pitter patter. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of him against me. His arms wrapped around my back and held me against him. There was so much going on within my head, I couldn't pick out a voice to stop it…I couldn't tell it to stop. The moment his lips touched the top of my head I felt calm…the voices froze, and I felt no fear. He held me in his arms for a moment longer in a tight embrace before he gently pulled me away. His face turned from mine to Smiley.

"Thanks for bringing her down." I watched Smiley nod before disappearing back up the stairs, his eyes looked back at me and he smiled. His teeth were sharp, but it was still handsome. I felt my face soften as I smiled back.

"And you look just as beautiful as ever. Smiley told me you were up for a walk…so…walk with me?" He asked. I nodded to him. My arm linked with his, and we were walking to the front doors of the castle. My own heart ran wild.

"Smiley told me anything here would want to eat me…is that true…?" I asked, I felt him nod.

"Unfortunately. You're still a human, though you are mine. There are other things here who don't care about that. Legit creatures, the cast offs…the…mess ups that I've done." The hurt in his voice made me feel sorry for him. Gently I ran my fingers over his arm and he had another smile.

The large wood doors opened, and I finally took in the first breath of fresh air. I was surprised, I expected it to smell like death and rot. I took a lungful of fresh air. It smelt of nothing, the air was cool with a soft crispness to it that made me relax.

"What's the one thing you miss the most about your world Fay?" He asked, he led me down cobble stone paths with so many twists and turns I felt almost dizzy. The only sounds I could hear were our breathing, and the soft bustle of wind. There were no sounds of screaming, tortured souls…nor the snarling sounds of beasts wanting to devour my very essence. Just…us and the wind. I leaned a little more into him and he allowed me. He wanted it, he wanted me…

 _I…I like it…_ Closing my eyes for a moment, I tried to focus on his question.

"Other than my son? I miss the beach, where it's nothing but overcast with the wind…the sound of the waves crashing on the sand…I miss sticking my toes into the cool water and just being there…it was so peaceful." I could almost smell the sea salt, feel the wind touching my face and the water creeping up to my ankles.

"Take off your shoes."

As I was about to open my eyes to look at him, he let my arm go and place his hand over my eyes.

"Don't look. If you trust me, let me help you."

I stopped for a moment before obliging.

"Alright. How are you going to help me take my boots off?" I asked feeling a light blush creep up my cheeks.

"Place your hands on my shoulders, I'm kneeling in front of you."

I felt around before touching his shoulders. His hands run up my leg, lifting my dress along the way. His fingers untied the right boot, pulling it off. He did the same for the left. My feet touched something…it felt like sand. Crinkling my brow, I took a deeper breath of air…and smelt the ocean. The moment I opened my mouth to gasp, his lips covered mine. His arms were wrapped around my waist, he held me against his body, holding me tight. From my toes to my face I went red. His hands were placed at the base of my back. My toes sunk into the sand, ocean water splashed against my ankles.

 _There's no way this is real…is it?_ I was exasperated, his lips worked over mine…I felt like I was home…

 _What? The ocean or the kiss?_ I felt a smile play across my lips. My own arms reached up and wrapped around his neck. He broke the kiss to place his forehead against mine.

"I'm falling for you, and I'm falling for you hard Faylen…don't make me force you to do this…please, make it easy for me and just…allow me to turn you. I want you here with me, forever." I opened my eyes and I was met with his. His eyes were soft, lips moist from the kiss we shared. There was something much deeper within his eyes that made me ponder.

 _Has he truly fallen in love with me…?_ It was no longer a question when he kissed me once more. This time he rubbed my back, and my breasts pressed against his chest. It was a tight embrace and I enjoyed feeling his solid body against mine. Some other feeling raised within me…it was a feeling of desire, want…it was lust. I moaned against his lips, he knew I wanted him and he wanted me just as much.

I broke the kiss, my eyes opening. The ocean was roaring, crashing against the beach. I looked away from him to the sounds. Black water crashed upon dark sand. My eyes went wide, the moon was a bright purple with dark clouds going over it. I broke away from his embrace before walking further into the water, completely captivated by the large moon hanging over head. The moon was so large and bright I thought I was dreaming. The further I went forward, the water crept higher over my knees to my waist.

It was real. The water, the moon, the wind pulling at my face and pushing my bangs away from my face. Emotions bursts from my chest, a choked sob escaped my lips. I couldn't believe this was real…there was no way…

His hands touched my shoulders, gently massaging them.

"I made this all for you…I wanted you to have a place to go to. Some other place that you can escape too, a haven you can call home. I know everything is so new, frightening. I-" Turning to face him, I took his face into my hands.

"Will it hurt?" I asked, he blinked.

"The process of becoming a monster. Will it hurt?" I asked again.

Real pain, real regret filled his eyes and he closed them.

"I'm unsure. The process is different for everyone. Most of the time…yes, it does hurt." He looked at me again, his own hands covered mine.

"One more night of freedom is all I ask. Allow me to enjoy this moment, before becoming a monster." My own voice cracked. He stood there looking down at me, his eyes became wide.

"Are you saying…?" He asked, slowly I nodded my head. He let out a howl of happiness. His arms wrapped around my body lifting me up. He spun us around before falling into the water. I was enclosed in a pool of cold water. It felt so good against my burning flesh. He was still holding me but for that moment I felt like I had true freedom.

 _After this, there will be no more Faylen…just…a monster. At least Calen will be safe from this world. I never want him to take a step in this life. I know Jack will take good care of him…_ I kept my eyes closed, he pulled me closer into him. My face buried against his chest, though I couldn't breathe the pain within my lungs was welcomed. At least within the water he couldn't see my tears, or hear the second thoughts plaguing my mind.

 _The biggest question of them all…do I love him, like I loved Jack…? Will this be the end of everything I knew before…?_

He was lifting us both up breaking the surface, he was laughing, and I laughed along with him. Though deep within I wished to cry. He brushed the water away from my face, and I looked up at him. He had true happiness within his eyes and a large smile to accompany it. He kissed my lips again, and I melted into it. I melted into him, my arms were around him quicker than I could stop myself. He lifted me into his arms his breath hot against my lips. My hands went through his black and red hair, his kisses became filled with need. He trailed kisses down my chin and jaw, his sharp teeth scratched against my neck. Another moan escaped my lips. He placed me down against the sand as he kept ravaging my neck with kisses. He was gentle with his hands, caressing my face. When he looked back into my eyes I saw the same emotions reflected into his.

"I want to do this right, I want to know you want me too…and not just because you think this is the way to freedom." The words cut through the pleasure haze I had.

"I want to know you want this." He held my face in his large hand.

"I need to know you love me too."

I stared up at him and the tears came fast as my heart swelled. I felt something I had never felt before.

"I…" The words choked me, I wanted to say them. I needed too…there was a deeper emotion running through me than before, I felt something…so strong.

"I love you too…" It came from between my lips. It didn't feel wrong.

His smile grew across his lips and he pulled me up into his arms, he whispered within my ear.

"Let's take this somewhere private my queen."

…

I stood in the shower trembling, my entire body shook with fear and anticipation. Though the water was broiling against my cold skin, I still felt the heat of his kisses more and his heavy body on top of mine. Tonight, I would be made his…but how? Was he going to be rough? Gentle? Hard? Would he make me do things that I didn't wish to do? Another shiver ran through me, raking my body hard. The worst part of it all…

 _I want him. I want this…I wanted this more than I had ever wanted anything…why? Why?_ The tears were back, and I felt like I wanted to vomit from fear. Before it was easy, just a few kisses and be done with it. This…this was different…something much-

Soft music floated from the bedroom, I lifted my head from the running water. Blinking, slightly confused. It was a saxophone, my heart picked up speed. I turned the water off, reaching out I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my body. Though nervous I felt excitement fill me. Pushing the glass doors open I stepped from the bathroom. The room had darkened, candles lined the bedroom. On the bed laid flower petals. A smile tugged at my lips, this couldn't have been real…

 _There's no way…_ I walked to the bed, touching one of the petals it was real. The softness made goosebumps rise. The music was so soft, almost soft enough to make me sleepy. A soft lavender scent was filling the room, it might've been from the candles.

Warm, large hands placed on my shoulders. Warmth spread through my wet skin, sandalwood filled around me. I leaned back against him, his pectorals pressed against my shoulder blades. He leaned forward nuzzling his face against the crook of my neck. I felt him take a deep breath in and breathe out against my skin and I shuddered. I was in his arms happily. He wrapped them around me, I lifted my arms the towel fell. We were both naked against each other. His lips kissed my neck, down to my shoulder.

"I wanted to make this special." He whispered.

My heart labored again. I felt my entire body shiver in anticipation. His hands ran over my stomach touching the stretch marks, his fingers wrapped around my breasts that filled up both of his hands. Closing my eyes, I leaned heavier back against him. He kept kissing my neck as he massaged them. Pleasure shot through my stomach, my eyes closed and softly I moaned. He was gentle massaging them and my body.

"Go ahead, lay down on your stomach for me dear." He let me go, I looked over my shoulder to look at him. He had a smile on his face. He had light chest hair, and some that trailed down to…I turned away from him. My face becoming a blaze of fire. I crawled onto the bed, laying on my stomach. The flower petals caressed my skin making my nipples hard. Again, my stomach flipped, and my heart ran in my chest. It was getting hard to breathe; my nerves were starting to get the best of me again.

 _It's just sex…_ I closed my eyes waiting…but nothing came.

 _No, this isn't just sex. This is something completely different. The emotions in here are running high as is…he's planning-_ The bed sunk down, he was on my right side. Something cold laid against my skin, goosebumps flourished. He chuckled lightly.

"You're telling me, that you've never had this done for you before?" As if he could read my thoughts…

His hands were on me again, working my shoulders. His palms were rough, yet he was gentle as he pushed against my skin. His fingers worked at certain parts of my body I had no idea even existed…the oil had a soft barely there scent. I closed my eyes, allowing him full control over me. He worked my spine, his fingers rubbed my sides while his thumbs stayed in the center. The further down he got, the more enticed I became. He reached my glutes and took them in both his hands and rubbed. I couldn't hold it, I moaned. It came out faster than I wanted it too.

"Don't do that to me, or I won't be able to control myself…" I mumbled. He chuckled.

"Maybe that's what I want." He pushed a little harder, another moan came from my lips. I couldn't help it. He went down my legs, rubbing me like I was a china doll. He went back up, his fingers barely touching my lips. I closed my eyes and felt a large shudder go through my body. A moan lodged within my throat. I knew I was wet, I felt myself drip out onto the bed. He had a smile in his voice.

"Ready to roll over? I need to do your front too."

I obeyed, flower petals stuck to my skin. My body and face were a light shade of pink, I tried to cover my face. He took my bandaged wrists and put them to my side.

"Please don't cover your face. I want to see your beautiful eyes." I was shaking underneath him. My stomach was in knots…and I felt myself quiver. He reached over to the side taking hold of the oil again. He started from my clavicle and ran it down to each leg. Including the top of my pubic area. He worked the oil into my neck before working my shoulders. His hands felt too good and I bit my bottom lip.

"Like it so far?" He asked, I could only nod. In fear of moaning again, whatever spell he placed over me I was obeying to his every command. He worked each arm, kneading where it was needed. Working at the muscles that were far to tense. He went down to my chest, his knuckles kneaded underneath my breasts. Finally, I moaned, louder than I wanted too. His eyes flashed passion, want, and desire. I refused to look down at him. I didn't want to see…what he looked like. He wrapped both his hands around my breasts, the pleasure skyrocketed as his thumbs ran over my hard, sensitive nipples. I held back a moan.

"Go ahead, moan. I want to hear it and I know you want to do it." He rubbed them again, I bit down harder on my lip. He gave a tilt to his head and pinched them gently. I arched my back gasping out a moan. I bit my bottom lip again, and he chuckled before running his fingers down my stomach. I looked at him my eyes widening. He smiled as he stopped at my crotch, he gently laid his palm down flat against me. He rubbed, the friction caused me to arch my back and grab at the silk bed sheets. He leaned forward I felt his hot breath against my left nipple. His lips were soft against my skin, I lifted my body to green his. Zalgo smiled against my nipple, sliding a finger inside. An electric jolt of pleasure shot through my body and I cried out. He groaned against my breast. He curled his finger flicking, I gasped. He was looking directly into my eyes, the pleasure felt heightened more than ever before. Within that moment he removed his finger and slipped in between my legs which were propped up on either side of him. He pushed himself forward laying down on top of me, his fingers caressed my face he considered my eyes and I felt him. He was hard against me, throbbing. He was waiting just as patiently as I was for the right moment. The emotions within his eyes surprised me the most, he had meant every word that he said. I felt as if I could…trust him. Holding me into his arms, he pushed himself forward.

It hurt.

Crying out in the sudden pain, he leaned forward and placed the deepest kiss I've ever felt upon my lips. He pushed his hips further and the throbbing pain subsided, bit by bit. He held still as I slowly came down from the coming pain. The moment he began to rock his hips I felt nothing but pleasure. My eyes closed, enjoying the kiss even more. He thumbed away the tears that tumbled down my cheeks. He kept kissing me, making it that much better. Each thrust felt more like pleasure then pain, before I knew it he was deep inside me, rocking against me making me cry in pleasure. My feet were against his glutes as he thrusted, my eyes closed, and I felt that white heat of ecstasy. The flames of an orgasm licked against my stomach, I was getting close I could feel it. My walls wrapped around him and he filled me even more so then before.

"Zalgo…" My nails dug deep into his shoulders, dragging down his skin. His eyes closed concentrating on me. On my own pleasure. This was nothing then I had ever felt before…

"Faylen, I love you." He grunted out. My own lips opened, and another moan followed. I couldn't reply. All I felt was myself walking over that edge, and there was no way I could come back. I was about to jump off that cliff and fall into the biggest pleasure I've ever felt.

"I…I love you too…" It came out, and I was arching my back. My nails broke a few layers of his skin and I was falling. The climax I felt was nothing I had ever felt before, sweat lingered on my body and I was shuddering, out of breath. His brows knitted together, his jaw ticked he leaned down kissing my lips. His hips gently gyrating into mine. Zalgo wrapped his arms underneath my body to gently lift me. I was sitting up, he was on his knees, my legs were wrapped around his waist and my arms were around his neck. He broke the kiss to place his head against my shoulder. I felt his heartbeat against my breast. He kept pushing himself inside me as gently as he could, my head fell back with my eyes closed. His own hands caressed my shoulder blades and back; running up to the back of my neck to run through my hair. He breathed out against my throat, his lips running back up to my jaw and chin.

"God you're so beautiful…" His words came out breathy and rushed. He started thrusting to the sounds of the music, making my stomach turn to water and legs tremble.

"Too much?" He chuckled, I bit my bottom lip feeling another orgasm start to rack my body. The gentler he was the more my body had responded. I moaned against his shoulder bucking my hips back against his. My face flushed a complete pink, my moans were growing with his pace.

"No, it feels amazing." I moaned, he buried his head in the crook of my neck.

"Good, enjoy it. I want to please you as much as I can…" He grunted as he pushed into me further. A small scream of pleasure that came from my mouth was a surprise to me as it was to him. I dug my nails into his shoulders again, and he pushed more. The more he did that, the more I wanted to orgasm all over again.

I moved my face away to gaze into his eyes, he held so much love in them I was taken aback for a second only before he lifted me up again. My back was placed against a wall, he pinned my arms up and above my head, as he laid his against my shoulder. I felt him grow and throb inside me. My eyes started to water at the oncoming climax. I could feel his pleasure on top of mine. He was breathing harder, yet he kept his pace. My heart skipped, my eyes rolled back, and I let out a sheer cry. I couldn't hold it back and for the first time I felt him pick up his pace, as if he wanted to join me.

Within the endless spiral of pleasure, he let my arms go and I wrapped them around his neck once more and he held me. He was thick inside me, throbbing…I felt the heat of him slowly drip from me. I couldn't help but breath just as hard as he was. His head still laid against my shoulder. I allowed him to keep holding me, as I caressed his back only to run my hand through his hair. His own heart picked up, just a little bit. In that moment I had felt peace…a peace I hadn't felt in so long. As if nothing would harm me ever again…that everything would be just fine.

He pulled himself out and I shuddered. He held me there for a little while longer before completely holding me into his arms once again. He kept me there far longer than I would've thought till he looked at me, I saw a tenderness within his eyes that melted my heart and made me feel for him on a much deeper level than I ever had before.

"I almost don't want to change you now…I'd feel horrible for any pain or anything that you would feel during the transition…" He sat down on the bed and caressed my back.

"I care so deeply for you, I can't stand the thought of hurting you…" He closed his eyes and sighed softly.

"But it must be done my love, it's just how things are…" When I touched him, he looked to me. Within his neon eyes I saw the glistening of tears. What I said next, must've surprised him.

"It's alright my love. You must do what needs to be done to keep me safe. I understand." I gave him a smile and once again he blinked, unsure if I was playing him or not. Gently caressing his face, I leaned in to kiss him. Upon my kiss I whispered; _I love you. It's okay. Do what you must._

Zalgo accepted my kiss without hesitation.

…

I was face to face with her, looking her directly into her cat green eyes. I was unsure how I would approach her with this. I watched her look at me with adoration within her eyes, I didn't want to do this…but I had to. I needed too. If I didn't she would surely die at the hands of something here, or even try to kill herself maybe even run away again…

 _I can't have that happen to her. Not again._ I took a deep breath in, and let it out.

Placing my hand on the top of her head, I watched the darkness take hold within her eyes. Turning the cat green into tendrils of black. Her mouth began to drop open, blood ran from her nose, mouth and ears. Veins popped out from underneath her skin, Faylen didn't even make a cry of pain. She kept still, allowing it to take over, allowing me to take over. Her body began to convulse, her hands shook, she twitched, and a gurgle came from her mouth. I felt her soul lift from her, into me. I closed my eyes, and I watched the memories fade into me. All the way back, from her meeting Laughing Jack, to her mother killing herself, her father sexually abusing her, Laughing Jack saving her, their huge fight, her ex-boyfriend ditching his pregnant girlfriend, to her attempting to kill herself. All the way up till we had met. Her memories played in my mind like a home movie. Some were a bit blurrier then others…the memory of Calen, completely wiped clean, Myu and Jack gone. Nothing but me, Smiley, Sadie and the castle remained.

I lifted my hand the first thing that happened was she falling forward. I caught her with ease, her entire body began to quake. I wanted to know, what was left of her…what emotion had remained…

Those eyes opened, and she looked right at me, her lips played in a smile and I felt my heart leap. Her arms wrapped around me in a tight hug. I held her just as tight back. She kept me in her arms and I burred my face into her shoulder.

"When will you teach me?" She asked. I pulled her away, within her golden globes I saw the deep seething anger, and the underlying pain she had kept away for so many years.

"When will you teach me how to kill?" Her voice, just as I thought would sound sultry, soft, musical…I felt my own stomach melt. Her skin became flawless, her eyes crystal clear for the first time in the months that she has resided with me, she became supple…a seductress. Just as I wished she would. She became the perfect monster that I've wished to create, and the one who would rule The Pit alongside me. Faylen tried to stand, her knees gave out underneath her and she began to teeter. I reached out to grasp her, she fell completely into my arms and nuzzled her face into my neck.

"Thank you, my love, I'm not used to these legs…they're so weak…" I eased her to her feet. I lifted her with ease into my arms holding her carefully. The only thing I couldn't get out of my head was the look on her face as she changed.

"Faylen, did anything hurt?" I asked her, she looked at me and blinked. I took in how long her eye lashes had grown. She was beauty in carnet, and the death among many men…

"Did what hurt?" She asked.

"Changing." She answered me with a shake of her head.

 _That's a little relief…_ I kept her in my arms, heading back into our bedroom.

"When will I learn how to kill?" She asked me again, I gave her another look with a big bright smile.

"As soon as I can Faylen. Patience my dear, I'll tell you everything that you need to know."

…

I woke with a start, my heart hammering in my ears. I lifted myself from the bed, I could hear Arora screaming with joy in the other room. I looked to my alarm clock showing me that it just hit ten A.M. My palms became slick, I started rocking back and forth nerves shooting through my system. I already thought what I was going to do through, I didn't need a few weeks…I didn't even need a few days. I wanted to see my mother, and I wanted to see her now. Even with Myu screaming at me not to…I had to make sure she was alright.

I got up from my bed, I was still clothed from the previous night. I just reached down to grab my bookbag, slinging it over my shoulder I grabbed my wallet that had my credit cards. With what I was about to do, money didn't matter and Myu wouldn't be charged with…because in the end, I'd be dead.

I looked myself in the mirror, I wasn't a bad looking dude. Bulky with muscle with longish hair, a pierced lip and strange green eyes…I personally refused a girlfriend. I didn't want one, I didn't need one. My entire life had been focused on finding my mother and bringing her home.

 _Do you have some sick obsession with your mother?_ I narrowed my eyes.

"No, she saved Jack and I…the least I could do is return the favor." I straightened out my black shirt, pulled my pants up and my stomach rolled. I felt the nerves crash down on me, my entire chest felt as if it was about to implode. I took a deep breath in, and let it out slowly. I did this for a few more times. I started to see stars.

 _You can't hesitate, if you do you'll never see your mother alive again…or even sane. This is your chance…you can do it, you must do it Calen._ With another big gulp of air, I nodded and left my room. The moment my door closed Arora came screaming down the hall and jumped on me.

"Uncle Calen! Uncle Calen! You need to come see my new toy!" She screeched. Giving her a light sad smile, I softly pulled her away from me. Kneeling I pulled her in, and gave her the biggest hug I could muster. One way or another, I wouldn't be coming back. She hugged me back without question.

"Where are you going Uncle Calen?" She asked. Her bright doe brown eyes bounced with playfulness and I only gave her another sad smile. She reached out and took my hands, she looked at the thin white lines dancing across my skin.

"You're not going to do the bad thing again, are you?" She looked back up at me, and I only shook my head.

"No sweetheart I'm not. What I need you to do, is go back into your playroom and act like you've never seen me." As I was about to pull away she gave me another look.

"Mommy is at work, I can't stay here all by myself!" When she cried out, I winced slightly. With a deep breath I stood.

"You're a big girl now Arora. I'm going to lock the door, and you're not to go anywhere. You stay in here till your mother comes home. Understand?" I put the emphasis on big girl, and it made her smile. She nodded running back into her playroom.

"Alright Uncle Calen, I love you!" And like that she was gone. I couldn't say I loved her too, because it would make me second guess myself…I knew I was supposed to stay and watch her…but time was of the essence. Slowly I backed away and to the front door, I tried to be as silent as possible sneaking out. Though she knew I was leaving, I didn't want her to be aware of it.

 _Now or never Calen._ And I left, locking the door behind me. I turned away, went down the stairs and to my car. My bladder shrunk, I felt as if I had to pee…I already went, I knew it was just my nerves. Hyper focusing on my car I jumped in without a single word.

In a single blink I was halfway into town. I couldn't remember the drive into town…or anything in between. My hands were shaking…my body became engulfed in a cold sweat…

 _Oh fuck, oh fuck…fuck…fuck…fuck! I can't do this…I can't…._ my leg bounced as I pulled into the parking lot for a Tackle Box. I sat back in my car and let out a long breath.

 _Go in, get a handgun, bullets and walk out. It's not that hard. You can do this._ Closing my eyes, I breathed in and out. My heart running a million miles an hour, I wanted to puke, and piss myself…but I opened my eyes and got out of my car. I went right up to the front door, to the counter. I didn't need to look, I just pointed to the handgun I wanted, and a shit ton of ammo. I laughed at a random joke, and nodded at another, I kept a large smile on my face and went through the steps of purchasing my very first weapon.

A lie here.

A lie there.

A smile there.

A laugh here.

 _I'm so scared…_

I took the gun looking it over, with quick practiced hands I loaded the gun, chambered a bullet and pulled the trigger. I watched the cashier fall back onto the ground with a solid thud. A girl was screeching from behind the fishing counter. I turned on her just as quick, took quick aim and shot. Her mouth was left agape, blood and brain matter sprayed the wall behind her. My heart stopped for a moment. I realized I, myself was screaming. I lowered the gun and went to the front entrance. I waited for a moment longer, my car was the only one out there. I walked to it, bookbag filled with ammo.

 _Holy fuck. Holy fuck…that felt so good._ I felt myself smile. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror. Blood splattered against my gray skin. My pupils covered most of my iris, my heartrate became normal. Still laughter came from my mouth, I wanted more. I wanted more.

"I want more…" I laughed again.

"Zalgo, you mother fucker. I hope you're ready for me."

Pulling out of the parking lot, I sped down the road. It was only a few minutes' drive away from the nearest town.

"Park, get out. Murder every. Single. Mother. Fucker. There!" I started laughing so hard I began to cry. I began rocking back and forth, banging my hands against the steering wheel. I saw the town creep into view, I pulled over on the side of the road. I took the deepest breath in that I could, and again I blinked. I was face to face with the first door. Some things had a blank space and others were blurred. I pounded on the door as hard as I could screaming for help.

I was greeted with a young face of a man, he stood my height, brown eyes, brown hair, and he looked as stunned as I figured he would be. I felt that smile come back to my face, and I shoved my way inside.

"H-Hey!" He screamed.

The gun was raised, and I pulled the trigger.

He fell like a sack of rocks, footsteps came running down the stairs. Two young children stared at me, I stared back. When I brought the gun up, I waited…

 _I can't kill children…_ A laugh spilled from my mouth.

"I can, and I will!" The trigger was pulled, five, six times…

Their bodies laid on the steps, I felt sick to my stomach and I waved side to side. It had to be done. This all had to be done…

…

I smiled to the man, shaking his hand. I got my very first gig at the bar who was looking for a cheap hire. It didn't take long, a smile here and a smile there. A wink, and a giggle. Bang. Job. I was sitting in the back room waiting. It was small, cramped and smelt of stale sweat and week-old sex. I crinkled my nose.

 _Remember my dear, you find a target, you take them and do with whatever you see fit. It's not hard. You're a beautiful woman, use it._

Touching up my lipstick, I pulled my hair back into a tight braid. My eyes held an ethereal glow to them, and my lips seems much more plump than usual. I fixed my tight corset to fit my bust better, making it easier to breathe. Upon my breast laid a scar that looked of two eyes. One going up and down the other left and right.

"Huh. That's new." I shrugged.

I leaned against the wall, waiting for my turn up on the stage. I was bored. Hungry. And pissed off. These men all had the same thought, for every woman they meet. To use and take advantage of. I was sick of it. It was time for someone to teach them a lesson. The moment the minute hand went on the twelve, the door was opened, another young girl yelped in surprise. She had wide eyes, and wore tatters for clothes. Again, I felt repulsed.

 _Why did I allow myself to get a gig here? She's a whore._ I looked away from her and back to the door.

"They want you on stage Fay." The young girl spoke, her voice was squeaky and left my ears ringing.

 _You're going to be next if you say my name again…filth._ Leaning up from the wall, I walked forward. The girl watched me move in my tight clothing, and scoffed.

"Did you have to suck the manager off to get this job too?" She asked, before leaving the room I looked over my shoulder and glanced at her. I wanted to rip her throat out for asking me such a degrading question. I crossed my arms over my breasts, my heeled boots made light clacking noises on the hardwood.

"No dear. I didn't. I told him if he didn't give me the job…that I'd rip his fucking throat out." I gave her a full smile, giggling.

"Taking your clothes off doesn't help for everything sweet thing. Threaten their lives. It'll make yours hella interesting. I know it did mine." She watched my lips move, entranced by the words leaving my mouth. A lot of people are like that now, every word I speak, every time I move…they watch with such interest it truly was sad. The girl gave me another look before smiling.

"Are you telling me, you just threatened his life and boom. You have a job?" She asked, obviously curious. I gave another smile and laughed.

"Of course. And if they don't listen to you…" I reached down from between my breasts, bringing out a butterfly knife.

"Slit their fucking throats…the color that runs from a sliced artery is a beautiful thing…and the feeling of hot, fresh blood running down your body…" I held back a moan.

"Will be life changing. I promise."

The girl gave me another look, her face lit up with surprise and a smile crept across her lips. In a way it made her look cute. I felt some sort of sympathy for her at the same time disgust took over more. I turned away from her and went out to the stage. All eyes were on me, they were watching with the hope of something more than a singer. They were going to be severely disappointed.

Music came on, I sang my number all the while my eyes scanned the crowd for anyone of interest. The only person that kept popping up, was a man three seats back from the front, sitting at the bar. Making love to his gin, I gave a smile. Moved my hips a little, bent over to show a little cleavage. The male patron looked over at me, seeing I was looking directly at him. He gave me a look over, a sick grin crossed his lips.

 _He's the one._

The song ended, I bowed and a round of applause came from the crowd. The moment I went to the backroom, the young girl had disappeared. I gave a shrug. Picking my purse from the safe, I looked over to the bathroom area. A large circle of red dripped from underneath the door. I had a grin come across my lips. Going back out, I was face to face with the bar patron. His eyes roamed over me, and his voice heavily slurred and he hiccupped.

"Hello swee-ee-ee-t thing. Yo-youh intressssted in mee?" He was swinging back and forth. A gurgle in his throat forced me to move, clear vomit and stomach bile fell on the spot I was once standing in. I was already disgusted with him. I wanted nothing more than to leave and take a hot shower, and fuck my King. Pulling the butterfly knife from between my breasts, I handed it to him.

"You want me big boy…?" I dropped my voice and he chuckled, his blood shot blue eyes watched me with intent. His shaggy gray hair was greasy and matted. I gave another smile, leaning in I could smell the acidic bile on him.

"Take this knife, plunge it deep in your neck and rip your own throat out for me. Do that, and you can have me for the rest of the night."

He giggled at the request.

"Wouldn't thaaaat kill me sweetie?" He wobbled again, I gave a shrug.

"Who would care? You're a piece of shit who takes advantage of young girls…don't you?" I leaned into his ear.

"It's written all over your face Brian. I see deep within your own soul…you love taking those little girls in your car…touch them…use them. Don't you?" My voice dropped to a deep grumble.

"It's why you come here, to drink away their faces. All because you have a shit ton of money you can gamble your way into freedom. It still doesn't help your soul…does it?" I heard him cry.

"How do you know all this…? Are you an angel or something…?" He seemed to sober up. I only smiled at him.

"Little Jenny remembers oh yes she does…the little girl that hung herself, because she couldn't handle the fact you raped her…"

He cried in shock.

"Oh yes. Me and Jenny are very good friends…the only way for those memories to stop haunting you, is by taking that knife and ending it all. It won't hurt. I promise." I giggled.

The man used both hands and plunged my knife in the center of his throat, and pulled it to the left. The first splatter of blood struck my breasts, and I moaned closing my eyes enjoying every bit of the warmth sliding down the front of my corset. I let out a light laugh, running a finger through the blood I brought it to my mouth, tasting the crimson beauty. It slid down my throat, moaning in pleasure. I watched him stare at me, falling to his knees blood pumped from his throat. Gagging. I turned and left my post, happily fed. Even though it was for a moment.

When I left through the back door, the last thing I thought I would hear was the popping of a gun.

…

I felt the thrill of the kill, the police were on me. I could hear them. The sirens were screaming behind me. I had to run and take shelter behind the nearest place I could find. The last thing I was expecting was a woman to come out of the back exit. I stared at her for a solid minute before I blinked twice. I had the gun aimed right at her head. Her eyes were the brightest green I had ever seen. She was a plus sized woman; her lips were painted red and... I looked at her more carefully. She had fire red hair like me…it took a second for me to see the woman in front of me, for who she was.

"Mom?" I whispered, she only tilted her head at me in wonder. She kept her mouth shut tight, slowly I lowered the gun. Only to approach her directly. The woman took a step or two back from me, unsure. Her eyes held the deepest hatred I had ever seen.

"I don't know you." When she spoke, I felt it deep within my heart I knew who she was.

"Mom!" I cried out, she turned to look over her shoulder then back at me. I had sought her out for the last ten years. And now, here she was facing me covered head to toe in blood. She only lifted her chin.

"It's me Calen!" I screamed at her. Still she refused to move, and her eyes were dead, and lips pursed. The moment I let my guard down, she was in front of me. The gun snatched from my hand, and pointed.

At.

Me…

"Mom…what are you doing…?" I blinked raising my hands. She lifted her chin again and smiled.

"Faylen, it's Calen…Calen Isaac Snow…" I cleared my throat, my voice cracking.

"Y…Your name is Faylen Arora Snow…you…you've been gone for ten years." I watched as she tilted her head at me.

"I've killed…so many people to come find you. To come be with you…mom, Jack and I missed you so much…please. Give me the gun back. I'll take you to Myu, she'll be so happy to see you." I watched her eyes darken for a split second.

"I don't have a son." She started squeezing the trigger and then stopped.

"But…" She raised the gun again before smiling at me, tilting her head to the side.

"Since you've seem to know me, and know about me…" She tilted the gun back, to hand it to me.

"You've never seen me. You've never heard of me…keep up the killing spree kid. I'm sure you'd make a wonderful killer someday…but today…is not your day." I took the gun back from her, she gave me another smile before turning her back to me. I looked back into the barrel of the gun.

"Hey Faylen." I called after her.

She turned to look over her shoulder to me. She was just as beautiful as I remembered her being. Just those eyes were empty for the exception of the scathing hatred, and the disgust of men. I could see it, see everything that she had hated. Around her wrists she still had bandages, a locket hung in between her breasts. A locket that I had given her on her twenty first birthday. It had pictures in it. I knew it did. I knew this woman was my mother.

 _Why else would she react to her name?_ I looked at the blood-stained gun, at my hand that held it. I was beaten up, bloodied and hurt. Still recognition would register in her eyes. That's what hurt the most…it's the thing that would keep me pushing. To make sure Zalgo would pay. That when I see him, I would remember this moment forever…so I could hold it over his head and kill him with the thought of my mother in my head.

"Why did you hand me my gun back? When you could've just shot me dead where I stand." I looked back at her, she turned back to me. Her body posture relaxed, tilting her head she gave it little thought.

"There's nothing inside you, or any memory that would make me want to kill you." She shrugged.

"You haven't done anything to women. If anything, you're quite admirable towards women. More men need to learn from you. Whoever raised you kid did a damn good job." She placed her hand on her hip, leaned heavily against her left leg. She looked me over again, for a second I was hopeful…then as she spoke the hope died.

"Huh...blood looks good on you kid. It'd match your natural hair. You should let it grow out. Purple isn't you." She looked over her shoulder, sirens screeched within the night air.

"If I were you, I'd hit the road as fast as you can kid. I know how to get out of here without being seen. You're not one of us." She shook her head; the braid came loose. Her hair had grown so much since I had last seen her. It fell in long waves to her waist. I still could see it was her, it was my mother…I still took a step forward to look at her. My throat tightened, my vision blurred as tears fogged my vision. She leaned on her hip again and sighed.

"Look I gotta go. More men to slaughter. Take care…what's your name?" She asked, my voice cracked.

"Calen…my name's Calen." She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to my cheek before she whispered.

"Learn to disappear. Lock those emotions up tight sweetheart. Only the real ones will come out, you'd find a true target then." She gave me another bright smile, her back turned to me. The woman I loved for so long…disappeared before my eyes. One moment she was there, the next…gone.

 _That was her, that was my mom…she was right there…I'm too late. Zalgo wrapped his hands around her and took her away from us._ I fell onto my knees; a shuddering cry came from my lips. The tightness within my chest left a cold, heavy weight. My throat was a vise grip making it impossible to speak.

"M…Mom…" My hand shook, I lifted the handgun up. I placed it against my left temple shaking. Tears flowed over my blood splattered face, leaving a clear path in its wake. A soft cry left my lips, I cocked the gun back, my finger lingered over the trigger.

 _She didn't even recognize her own son…how did this happen to me? I killed so many people to get to her…it was nothing more than a waste. I should've listened to you Myu I just should have left sleeping dogs lay. Now I'm in a deeper pile of shit then I ever have been. She didn't even look me right in the eyes…like she couldn't…_ I took a deep breath in, and let out a shaky one.

 _I hope Jack won't be angry with me…I hope he keeps Arora company, and she treats him well. I was never wanted anyway…I was always a burden. I couldn't make anyone happy._ I lifted my chin, opening my eyes. This was it. This was the end…

 _I made a deal to sell my soul, and now look where it got me. I didn't do enough to make him notice, and now seeing my mother the way she is…I've failed. I took too long to come find her. Now…_ I took a deep breath in, steadying my hand. They were coming, I could hear their screams, their shouts. Saying I was behind the bar.

They were coming for me.

Soon they would see me, and shoot me dead.

 _Kill oneself, and he will weigh your soul. For you to become one of his own._

"In the end, I'm my own worst enemy…"

I pulled the trigger.

…

White agonizing pain shot through my head, my body felt weak and my arms were like wet noodles. My entire chest ached, and it felt almost impossible to breathe properly. My mouth felt full of something, when I swallowed it tasted like a copper penny. I could smell it too. My stomach started to revolt but something forced me not too.

"I see you're finally waking up."

Vaguely I could hear a voice through the piercing white heat. I tried shaking my head, but all I could hear was the ringing within my ears. I attempted to get to my knees, as I did I fell back over with a groan.

"In the temple out through the eye. One hell of a way to get here. Let's see…" There was a moment of silence, before he started to speak to me again.

"Damn…you shot and killed thirty-seven people, and five kids…" There was another long pause.

"I say, what made you eat a bullet so early? I was having fun watching you suffer." He was walking to me, I felt dizzy and sick to my stomach. The moment I pushed myself up, I felt a hand capture my face.

"This is going to hurt Calen. And it's going to hurt a lot."

…

"This is going to hurt Calen, and it's going to hurt a lot."

I placed my hand over his face, his right eye was blown clean out. A hole stayed where the gun exited his face. He was worse for wear, but nothing that Smiley can't fix. His other eye was open but bouncing all over the place, a sign that he must've hit something serious. Again, nothing that smiley and reaping him completely wouldn't fix.

The holes of his eyes began to leak black muck, his nose followed. When he opened his mouth, I watched the blood pour onto my carpet. Faylen wasn't back yet, so I had the chance to do this freely without her asking me questions. He fell, landed here a bleeding broken mess, mumbling something or another…

 _Now he's mine. And he gets to suffer. He'll forget everything about his family. And I'll make him pass his loving mother every single day that he's here._ I felt a smile play across my lips.

 _I've warned him, and he didn't listen. Now he's here and he'll be my toy…_ I gripped his face harder than before, a soft cry came from his open mouth. His one good eye stopped rolling around, as he stared up at me. There was nothing but hate in it, as he watched me. Black tendrils slipped through his pupil and into his iris. Taking completely over. His memories played to me like a beautiful movie. There was so much I haven't seen of his life. And now I had a front row seat. I watched everything up till the last moments of his life. He'd seen his mother, I got my answer. It was she who made him bite the bullet. What irony.

Calen opened his mouth and screamed at the top of his lungs. The agony he was feeling made me smile and I took it all in. I shivered feeling all his memories drain, and his soul lift and drift into me. The hunger subsided, and the boy fell to the side. He was out, for how long…who knew?

"Smiley!" He shouted, from the back a door opened, and Doctor Smiley appeared. His red eyes looked over the young teenager.

"He's the second youngest we've ever had…" He looked from Calen to me.

"What should I do with him?" He asked.

"Patch 'em up. Check his brain. Make sure he didn't fuck it up to the point of no return. I need him alive and well to clean my underwear and be the new executioner. He's one hell of a shot, I have a feeling he would be perfect for the job." I went back to my throne and sat. Doctor Smiley bent over, tossing Calen over his shoulder.

"Alright I'll do what I can. I can't promise you that he will be up and walking around the very next day, but I'll do what I can." I watched him look back at Calen and slowly shake his head.

"God, I don't know what you've done to him…but he's a mess alright. I'll try."

I only nodded to Smiley, it's all I wanted. If not, oh well. I'd still have Faylen to myself…either way.

 _He's a fighter. He's not going to go down so easily. I know him that well…if he's anything like his mother, he'll do whatever it takes…who knows maybe he'll make due on his promise._ I leaned back in my throne, cracking my neck. It was going to be one long journey…in the end, it'll all be worth it.

 _I know it will. That kid has something going for him. He would make one hell of a good monster. One way or another…_ I gave a smile to myself.

 _Nah. He's too weak to be a good one. I'll just keep him as my little toy. We'll see how things go from there._ I leaned back more into the throne, sighing. The moment I close my eyes, her voice brings me back up.

"Zalgo my love. I had the most peculiar thing happen to me today."

I was taken aback at how beautiful she was, long red hair flowed around her waist, her entire chest and neck was covered in crimson beauty. I could tell from the look in her eyes, her hunger was stated for the time being. My breath caught in my throat. I was stunned in her presence. She waltzed her way over and flopped down in my lap, as if she owned me.

 _She does._ I couldn't help but have a light smile on my lips. Her legs hung off the other side of the throne, I looked over her beautiful curvaceous body. Just her being covered in blood made me want her all over again…I had to keep my wits about me. I was working.

 _If I wasn't I wouldn't mind taking her right here in the throne room._

"What was that my dear?" I asked, running my fingers through her long red hair. She had flakes of blood in her locks, making it have an off metallic red color.

"There was a young man where I was hunting at today, and he called me his mom." She looked at me, her eyes flashing green.

"It's so strange." She reached over, her fingers running over my face. I kissed the tips, having a lingering taste of blood on my lips.

"Do you recognize him?" I asked, she shook her head no.

"Not at all. All I know is that his name is Calen and apparently he was on a killing spree because of me." She looked at me.

"Do you have your hand in any of this darling?" She asked me. I chuckled.

"No, I don't. I have no idea who this child is and what he wants with you. Perhaps you looked like someone he knew." I played with her hair a moment or two longer. She seemed lost in thought.

"What are you thinking about my love?" I asked her. She bit her bottom lip giving me a light look.

"Just somethings he said bothered me a bit…like how he was my son, he was killing so many people for me…and to top it off he said something about a woman named Myu and a gentleman named Jack." I watched her eyes, still nothing came to them.

 _Good. I didn't want to wipe her memory twice in one go._

"Did I know anyone by those names?" She asked me, again I shook my head.

"No dear, you don't. Even if you did. That was a life time ago, and you're here now." I pulled her close to me, wrapping her up in my arms holding her to my chest.

"And am I happier than ever to have you in my arms right now." I kissed the top of her head.

"And as delish you taste with blood on you, you should go take a shower before your next performance tonight my dear." I kissed her blood tainted lips, her arms snaked around my neck. Sitting on my lap she kissed me again, her breathing became heavy. Her eye lids lowered, and her long lashes touched her cheeks. I groaned against her lips pushing my hips up against hers. Faylen ran her hands over my chest, her fingers played at my stomach. Touching my abs. I reached up grasping her breasts. Her head tilted back, a soft moan came from her parted lips. I pulled down the top of her corset exposing her hard nipples. They looked taught and ready to be sucked.

I bowed my head taking her right one into my mouth, her hands went through my hair holding my head to her breast. My hands went around her running my own hands over her back. I felt myself growing within my trousers and I felt her start to soak through her tight little jeans. I wanted her more now, then I ever did before. Her hand gripped me through my jeans and I groaned, I wanted to take her right then and there-

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but you have another one on the way." Sadie's voice cut through the passionate haze. Faylen opened her eyes to look down at me. She had the sexiest smile I ever seen, her lips caught mine in a deep frenzied kiss. She pulled away to whisper; _I'll see you later, maybe in the shower?_

I felt a groan escape my throat, she already pulled her top back up before swinging her legs off me. She turned around to look at Sadie, whom only looked up at her in absolute shock. The look Sadie's one brown eye gave me, made me chuckle.

"Surprised?" I asked her. Sadie nodded.

"Last time I saw her, she was bleeding out on her bathroom floor. What did you do to her?" She asked me. She stepped up to the throne, looking at the back door where Faylen disappeared.

"I took what was mine, and now she rules beside me. She still wants to preform though." I looked over at the door, then back to her.

"Another soul that came to The Pit of Hell huh?" I chuckled feeling more power creep into me.

"Do you want to play executioner till the new boy gets up and running?" I looked to her, her face seemed to light up.

"New boy?!" Her former shy, quiet demeanor changed instantly. And I raised a brow.

"Have you been looking Sadie?" I asked her. She went back into herself before shaking her head.

"No sir…I didn't know we had a new monster come through. What's his name?" She asked. I gave a shrug.

"Who knows, whatever he decides to call himself." I leaned back on my throne, my groin throbbing. I couldn't help but keep thinking of Faylen's bouncy bust and tight ass.

 _I hope this doesn't take long…I really need to see her._ I moved uncomfortable in my throne.

"What brought him here? Suicide like me?" She looked to me for more answers.

"In a way yes." I replied, she bounced a little. Her face looked at me.

"Sir, what does he look like?" She asked again. I gave her a side glance before looking in front of me.

"When this poor sod comes through. I want you to end his life quick. I have more important, and pressing matters to take care of." I sat upright and leaned forward, I was getting real tired, real fast of her questions. Before it never bothered me, now it does.

"Has Faylen found a name for herself yet?" Sadie pushed another question.

I groaned leaning forward.

"No. Not yet. But she will soon." I replied.

The front door's opened, in came a lanky looking girl. Her clothes were tattered, and she had mangy hair. She looked as if she came from a broken place. Her face, and hands were covered in blood, a single bullet hole through the center of her forehead proved she, herself didn't do it. Her doe brown eyes looked up at him, filled with fear.

"Is this hell…?" She whispered, I gave a half ass shrug.

"Depends on who you ask. What made you come here little mutt?" I asked, leaning forward. Her eyes widened, and tears rimmed them.

"I…I'm not sure, I don't even remember getting here…" She looked to Sadie and let out a small yelp.

"Oh god…oh god…I didn't kill myself…I didn't…I got shot in the head. Some woman told me it was okay to kill…other who try to hurt me…why am I here?" She looked from Sadie back to me. The fear that crossed her eyes made me feel for her. Only slightly. I looked to Sadie.

"Make it quick. Don't let her suffer anymore then what she has."

Sadie nodded to me. In that moment the girl tried to turn and run, but Sadie was faster and on her in a second. She took her by the back of her head, pulled her hair and slit her throat in one good pull. There was nothing, no blood…or anything. The girl closed her eyes and dispersed. Where she went, who the hell knew.

"Well, I've got a date. No more souls Sadie. I'm done for the day." I got to my feet and she nodded to me.

"Sir?" She called. I looked over my shoulder to her. She finally had a smile for once.

"Thanks for finally turning Faylen. It's nice to have a mother's presence around here. Even though she doesn't remember it. She still treats us like family…her eyes tell a story…" She turned away from me giving a shrug.

"Have a nice night sir…and…is it okay if I visit the new guy? I want to make sure he settles in nicely."

Again, she had a smile, and…somewhere there was a blush underneath her pale white skin.

"Sure Sadie. Whatever you want."

…

My head finally stopped hurting, the ringing in my ears were finally gone and the taste of a bad copper penny disappeared. Unfortunately, as I opened my left eye my right eye couldn't move any longer. I sat up in the hospital bed, looking around. More confused than I ever had. A man had his back to me, moving around and messing with some equipment.

"Yo, do you know where I am?" I asked, the man turned around. He had bright red eyes, and a surgical mask on over his face. He came back over, with something else in his hand.

"Well if it isn't the recruit, I guess the surgery went well. Obviously, you're awake and speaking properly this time." The man had a syringe in his hand. He placed it to the I.V that was running through my arm.

"Alright, where am I?" I asked. The man who I can only assume was a doctor chuckled.

"Well…to say the least you're in hell. And you're going to enjoy every bit of it. Unfortunately, you lost an eye in the process. So, you're going to be stuck with an eye patch or something like that. Whatever you want. I'm sure we'll find something. You could even have a decent fake out of an eye or something." He was speaking to me like a robot. Like…he didn't want to be there.

"Well, what's your name doc?" I asked.

"Names Doctor Smiley. Or, you can just call me Smiley." He finished pushing the liquid into the I.V bag. He walked away from me.

"How did I lose my eye?" I waited for another answer, that didn't come. I laid back into the bed relaxing. A soft knock came from the door, Doctor Smiley sighed heavily.

"I swear, it better not be another patient if it is I'm going to reign his-"He opened the door.

"Oh, hello Sally dear. Come to check on the new guy?" He leaned against the door frame.

"Yeah I am." Her voice was gentle, soft…it relaxed my muscles and I closed my eyes again.

"Hello newbie." She was right beside me, making me jump lightly. I blinked my only eye left, and she sat down on the seat next to me. She too was missing an eye. Her hair covered it, but I could tell.

"Hi…Sadie, was it?" I gave her a smile and she blushed looking away from me.

"What's your name?" She asked, I scrunched my face and shook my head.

"I don't remember. I don't remember anything. From missing an eye to ending up here…I just feel…empty. Completely empty." I made a face and shrugged.

"How about you?" I asked. She gave me a sad smile. Showing me the gaping wounds on her arms, all the way up to her neck.

"I'm called Suicide Sadie for a reason. I drive people to kill themselves." She gave me another smile, and I nodded.

"That's pretty neat." I moved in the bed, looking at Doctor Smiley.

"I take it you're an angel of death of some sort?"

He chuckled at me.

"You wish child. I was something much worse back when I was alive and able to run rampant around the streets. Now, I'm just the second-hand man. Something to help patch people up. I'm only allowed to leave the premises occasionally…when the blood lust has grown to be too much. Right now, I get my rocks off by stitching monsters up…without anesthetic." He turned his back to us, and I looked at Sadie. She was a rather beautiful girl, with one beautiful golden eye. Her face had a light pink tone to it. As if she was possibly sick at some point. Her beautiful white gown was splattered with red tones. She had no shoes on, or anything else of the sort. She could've been passed off as plain Jane…but to me, she looked innocent and ethereal.

"So, you have no idea how you came here?" She asked. Again, I shook my head.

"No, I don't." I replied, I looked at her.

"What am I going to be doing here?" I asked her, she had a sick look on her face.

"Anywhere from household chores, or from what I've heard, you're going to be the personal executor."

That sparked interest in me.

"Personal executer eh…?" I gave a bigger grin. Finally feeling…a little something inside me. It moved, but just barely.

"Yeah, you get to re-kill those who the King doesn't want to join the monster family. It's not a difficult job. Sometimes he asks you to take it low and slow, and other times depending on how he's feeling. He'll ask you to end their suffering. So far, it's been end their suffering a lot. But that's because he has a new Queen." Her eye looked over my shoulder, her face reflected fear.

"I…I said too much I'm sorry. But hey, if the Doc says you're good enough I can give you a tore around the castle. It won't take too long, and I'll have you back in bed in no time!" She gave Smiley a look, and I looked at him.

"Well how are you feeling newbie?" He asked, I shrugged.

"No better, no worse. I don't feel anything really." I pinched my skin as hard as I could, and I felt nothing.

"No pain, no emotions…really empty actually." I gave him another look, and he waved his hand.

"Fine, be back in thirty minutes. I want to put you out, so you can sleep a bit longer." He waved us both off.

Sadie gave me her arm and helped me get to my feet. I was a little wobbly at first, but she steadied me. I gave her a grateful look. She returned a smile. She opened the door for the both of us and led me out. The castle medical hall was stunning, filled with different paintings and photos of different people. Vases with real flowers lined between each window. Outside looked pitch black, empty. Completely devoid of anything. Sadie turned me to the left and I followed her, the carpet underneath our feet was a royal purple, lined with gold. She was speaking to me, and I was enjoying the sound of her voice…

Two people were in front of us coming down the iron spiral staircase. One was a red head with beautiful iridescent green eyes. She was a plump woman and the crimson dress clung to every curve. And on her arm, was a male who had two horns sticking from his forehead. He looked huge, built like a brickhouse. He had neon colored eyes. What color I couldn't tell. We were walking to them, and they were walking to us. For a moment the woman and I locked eyes. There was nothing in them, but a deep seething hatred. As we walked by each other she looked away from me, the locket around her neck moved with her. I had never seen her before, but I believed she was the most beautiful monster, ever created.

"Sadie who were they?" I asked her. She stopped mid-sentence and looked at me.

"That was the King and Queen of this place. Zalgo, and Faylen. You will not speak to them, unless spoken too and you don't address them, unless addressed. You'll be their servant I'm sure."

I looked back over my shoulder, again I tried to look at that woman. Something wasn't right about her. That I knew deep within my stomach. The hatred within her eyes made me feel even more hollow then what I already was.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter fourteen:

Sides

Sadie was a real sweet girl, she showed me around the most important places. She kept talking and talking and I just listened. Her skin was soft and silken like a flower, a rose or a cherry blossom. I watched her lips move as she spoke to me. She had a light lilt to her voice, an accent almost…I just couldn't place it. I looked at all the interesting areas she wanted to show me. When we got down to the dining hall, I couldn't help but stop. A voice lingered within the hallway's a voice that sounded too beautiful not to listen too. I closed my eye and listened intently. The woman's voice was high pitched, but low…sweet yet melodic. Slow, but at a steady pace, following a piano. Sadie saw my attention be drifted from her and to the dining hall.

"Ah! That's where the Queen preforms every night after her hunt. Beautiful isn't it?" She asked, and I nodded. It was such a sound I had never heard before. A voice so unique it stopped me flat. Breaking free from Sadie's grasp, I opened the door. The lights were dimmed and on the stage that red haired goddess sat on the piano. Her painted lips moving, my eye caught the bright glimmer of the locket that laid on her skin. She was completely clear of blood, but I could see her pale complexion being painted that beautiful crimson color. Her green eyes were illuminated by the stage light, her face held no expression, her eyes held them all…a story waiting to be told. And her voice pelted the soul she no longer held. There was something about the Queen that didn't settle right within my stomach. What it was I couldn't tell.

Soft hands took my own, and I was being pulled again.

"Come on newbie, I don't want Smiley to get mad at me. You need to be back to bed." She pulled again, my eye looked at her. Her face flashed jealousy.

"Are you jealous Sadie?" I asked, she gave me a look as if issuing a challenge.

"No. I don't want to be re-killed by the good Doctor. He has a thing for women." She pulled me again, forcing me to follow her.

"Besides, if the king see's you out of bed, he'd think you're ready to work. Which personally I don't think you are. You may not feel anything, but your body is still your body. It can only take so much before you collapse. I should know." She pulled me again and I followed sighing.

"I wouldn't mind working, killing things sounds fun. I need something. This hollowness is boring me." My shoulders sagged. She gave me a look.

"Are you telling me, that you don't feel anything at all? Not a single thing?" She asked.

"I can feel you touching me. But I don't feel any type of happiness, pain…but, I do feel this deep hollow anger." I replied. She kept pulling and I followed.

"Besides, who was the Queen before she became the perfect monster?" I asked, Sadie shrugged.

"I'm not too sure. Just a human that caught the king's interest. Apparently she had some fucked up past, he wanted her and he took her." We went back up the spiraling staircase. The castle wasn't huge, but it did have a lot of floors and was very simplistic. I could manage these halls without any issue. The Queen's voice stuck in my head, I could hear the fading voices and I looked over my shoulder.

"You don't remember anything? Not even your human name?" She asked me, and I replied with a light grunt.

"Nope. Not a thing." I replied. The question she asked me next threw me off.

"Does it bother you any?"

"Does what bother me?" I replied.

"Not remembering anything. Does it bother you?" She asked me. I gave a light shrug. She only gave me a half smile before opening the medical bay door.

"It bothers me, sometimes certain things give me this feeling…and next thing I know, I see another dead body at my feet and I'm crying. Why I'm not sure." She ushered me to the bed, and I laid down. I didn't even feel tired. I stared up at the stone ceiling. Thoughts played throughout my head.

 _How the hell did I get here? Why am I here? Is this punishment for what I did before?_ My brows knitted together.

 _What the hell did I do anyway?_ Sadie was pulling the blanket up to my chest. I gave her a light smile, and her face flushed a light pink again.

"You know, I don't understand how someone as pretty as you ended up committing suicide." I nestled in the bed and she only gave me a quick glance.

"It's a long story that I can't remember. I wish I did, I would tell you." She gave me a sad smile. Smiley walked back from an office in the off corner. I just kept looking at the ceiling.

"Do I have to be put to sleep?" I asked him. Sadie gave him another look.

"You don't feel tired do you?" He asked me, and I shook my head no.

"That's why I have to put you to sleep. You don't feel fatigue, hunger, or thirst." He brought a syringe out, placing it to the side of my neck.

"Tell me, what do you feel newbie?" He asked, I took a deep breath in.

"Hatred for someone."

…

My heels click clacked on the pavement as I walked down the street, headphones pulsating music through my ears. My mind kept moving elsewhere. I couldn't concentrate. The newbie had looked vaguely familiar to me. Where I had seen him, I couldn't quite remember. The last hunt I was on was a quick one, relatively dissatisfying to say the least. Tossing my long hair over my shoulder, my eyes gauging the oncoming crowds. The last place I worked at was a dump, where I was heading to next was a higher end nightclub. A place I could find another suitor. Someone who would put up more of a fight, someone I could wrestle with before putting and end to their miserable existence. The hollow hole within my heart was cold, empty…but the deep seething rage that laid within it kept me going. The emptiness kept me from not wanting to wake up every damn day. The rage made my blood boil, men needed to be punished, women needed to suffer. The human race, deserved to end. They were disgusting pigs who did nothing but harm those less fortunate.

Clenching my fists I felt my knuckles crack. It was the least I could do. Pick the weak ones first, then go for the bigger fish. Tonight however, I wanted a challenge. I wanted something that would give me a rush. I may have looked like an angel I was anything but. I was a she-devil. A monster, a creature seeking out the cool water of death, to put the fire of rage out.

Even just for a moment.

I wanted that soothing coolness that came with adrenalin high. Seeking it out like a moth to a flame. I wanted…no, I needed the relief. Even for a moment.

Zalgo put the fire out by being near him, he made it bearable. Just enough for me to get through the night. Being away from him however, was a different story. I needed that rush, that sudden jump into cold water.

A single flash of blue, I was face to face with a man in a black suit and tie. He was eyeing me with those hungry eyes. He smelt of crap cologne, with an underlying scent of tobacco. He had day old stubble and his gums were a pale pink. He was a bigger dude underneath that suit; the way he spoke and moved reminded me of someone…someone who had pissed me off a long time ago. So long ago that it felt far away, a distant memory of a previous life.

"If you don't move, I'll slit your throat." The purr that came from my lips must've made something come unhinged in him. The feral look within his blue eyes made the rage boil.

"Sweetie you don't look like you could do anything to me. You're so tiny." He was reaching out to me, his hand was fast wrapping around my throat. My arms were at my sides, people were passing by with their heads hung low. Whispering amongst themselves.

 _Another reason to kill them all…_

"I'm not playing with you sweet cheeks. You look like you know how to have fun. So, why don't we have a little fun?" His breathe smelt of old garlic and vinegar, as if he hasn't brushed his teeth for a few months. I lifted my chin, staring into his eyes.

"Do you know what they say about a cornered animal right?" I spoke, his fingers wrapped tighter around my throat.

"They attack without word."

My hands were quick, hitting him right on the inside of his elbow. He lost all feeling to his hand, his fingers unlocked around my throat. My other hand, palm out struck him directly in his throat striking his Addams apple. The man grabbed his throat, coughing. Choking. His eyes looked at me, the same scathing hatred that I felt.

Still, the cool wash of death didn't touch me. I felt the rage boil deeper than before. Humanity disgusted me. Humans were a waste of space. They were the real monsters, not me. Not Sadie, or my new family. We were the lost souls that were fortunate enough to find Zalgo, whom out of the kindness of his heart showed us what the real monsters were, and to send us out to end their miserable existence. We, were created for a reason. That reason was to rid the world of the real monsters.

"What do you value your life?" I asked him, his face turned a darker shade of purple while his lips turned blue. He began to collapse onto his knees. I bent over to him, my eyes staring him down. Within his glossed over glass eyes, I saw my own. They were a bright iridescent green, just empty. Soulless. I was still as beautiful as ever. Only an empty shell.

"Was it the same price that those young girls paid?" I whispered. Realization crossed his face.

"How about those little boys? Do you value your life at the price of their dignity?" I hissed.

People kept walking by us, not noticing a thing.

 _I hate them._

Kicking his side, he rolled over onto his back gasping for air. Tilting my head I placed my spiked heel to his throat, I placed the lightest of pressure. His hands grasped my ankle, broken nails dug into my skin.

"What about those prostitutes you killed? Hm? Did you think, just because they were what they were, they didn't matter? That they had no one who would miss them?" I pressed harder, he gasped.

"They did. All of them did." I felt his broken Addams apple give.

"You're worse than me."

I stomped as hard as I could, the sound of skin breaking and him coughing made goosebumps rise against my skin. I kept staring straight ahead, it was just another body to add to the count. Another pest extinguished. Another cockroach squashed.

I pulled my heel right from his throat, the blood rushed to the surface and spilled over. As he tried to breathe, I listened to the whistling of his windpipe. I stared down at him, watching the crimson puddle underneath his head.

"How does it feel, to have no one stop to help you? Even as you cried out for it?" I rubbed my heel on his crappy suit. He kept scratching at his throat, to attempt to stop the bleeding. I felt a smile creep to my lips.

"No one will ever help you. No matter how deep in the water you go, no one will toss a life preserver." A shiver of pleasure spilt through my spine. I watched as he began to gradually stop twitching, the life began to leak from his eyes.

"I hope you enjoy hell. My husband will certainly take his time with you. You filth." Brushing my hands on my crimson dress. I pulled my purse close to my person, stepping over his cooling corpse. My heels click clacking against the swarming streets.

They would've seen nothing. The people worked like a hive mind. And I their Queen. They will all die by my hand. Whether it be slow, fast, painful, painless…however I see fit. They would all be punished. I may not remember what had happened to me…but the pain was there. Deep-seated within the rage, it was there. Underlying and underneath all that rage. It was waiting. And I was frightened of it. I didn't want to feel that pain anymore. It would be torture to feel it all over again. Deep inside me however, a sick need wanted to feel it again. To see if it was real, or if it was a figment of my imagination. Something, that I had believed was there, but wasn't…

 _You're crazy Faylen, there's nothing there. It's your mind playing tricks on you._ I placed my hand to my throat, feeling the locket that laid against my skin. It had been there for as long as I could remember.

 _Zalgo was honest, telling me he had given it to me when I first came here. But why? What's the importance of it?_ The people walked by, a woman screamed at the corpse.

Yet they would see nothing, and not remember me. I was the normalcy within the world of craziness and the sanest person within the world of insanity. No one would've remembered a redhaired woman wearing a dark crimson dress with green high heels that had a splatter of blood.

No.

No one would remember me.

Because I was never there.

A shadow.

That's all I've become. Unless I had wished to be seen. All the police would know, was that he had a broken windpipe and a deep laceration to his throat.

 _Why would I care anyway? I have a goal that's been set, and an interview in ten. No more diddle dawdling._ Tossing my hair over my shoulder once again, I kept my head raised, chin high and eyes forward. Tonight was going to be a beautiful horror show.

…

"You! Newbie wake the hell up!"

Jerking from the deep sleep, I opened my eye and looked at the large horned man standing above me. I blinked my eye twice before groaning. I felt the remnants of a dream hanging above me, within the fog of a memory that I had. Doctor Smiley was sitting a desk writing, I swung my feet off the bed. I couldn't remember getting dressed, or falling asleep. I just remember the thumping of hate within my temples and the lingering sense of dread that hung deep within my stomach. I rubbed my eye and looked at the man again.

"I think you slept enough, is he okay to start work Smiley?" The man asked, Smiley gave a wave.

"Just make sure he doesn't do anything too strenuous." He replied.

"He doesn't feel pain, fatigue, hunger, thirst or really anything. Just make sure he doesn't over do it. I want to make sure he heals properly." He looked up from his paper.

"Because I'm going out tonight. I need to hunt." He leaned back on the chair and the big man nodded.

"No issue there." He replied.

His neon eyes looked back at me, while I looked at him. My heart was thumping so hard in my chest I could hear it in my head. I felt the deep hatred to him, this man. The king. But why? Why him? What had he done to me, to make me feel this?

Frustration.

I felt frustration creep into the back of my skull. There was something else there, other then the bullet that went through my brain. I placed my feet on the ground and stood to him. He was powerfully built and emitted the sense of dread and intimidation on anyone.

Anyone but me.

I felt my heart pound, and my stomach sink. It was him. The King.

I wanted to take my hands and wrap them around his throat.

I couldn't.

My body wouldn't allow me. I just bowed at my waist and returned to normal.

 _What the fuck?!_ I screamed mentally.

"I need you in the throne room. We have a line of souls that needs execution. Think you can do that?" He asked me. I nodded.

"Yes sir." I replied.

 _No! That's not what I want to say!_ I felt dead. I couldn't control a single thing that came from my mouth. Not while he was around. He cracked a grin, and I saw his shark like teeth. His face contorted, became elongated his entire skin flashed black. He had multiple eyes and horns that went down his skull. Multipole mouths appeared throughout his entire body. He was gargantuan towering over me, his head almost hitting the ceiling. He was immense.

"Are you afraid of me now?" The voice I once heard before was nothing more than a gurgling noise within his throat. This creature that was in front of me…was the real devil. Not a demi god, not a demon. But the legit devil.

And I still felt nothing but hatred.

"Yes sir." It came out flat. Dead. Empty.

I was furious with myself. The room filled with the scent of death and sulfur. I was in no control around him, only around other things like me. I bowed my head, he returned what he once was.

"Good. Now come."

He left and I followed behind him not without hearing Smiley speak before I closed the door.

"You really don't feel a damn thing, do you?"

…

The music was thumping in my ears making them hurt. It was loud and thundering, people were dancing. Grinding against each other. Making me sick to my stomach. If this is where I was going to be working, I wanted to make it quick. The women were dressed in such little clothing, it left little to the imagination, and the men had such a sickly sweet scent that it made my head hurt. I felt a gag work its way up to my throat. The song ended and went into a more fast paced one.

 _As if I thought that was even possible, I was proven wrong yet again._ This night club was supposed to be the high end, and most well known place in the city…it was known to the younger crowd. Not someone my age. Someone who was old enough to be these kid's mother.

 _Where the hell did that come from?_ I thought, shaking my head lightly I went to the back of the room to the bar. A woman stood behind it making another cocktail, her uniform was a skimpy tight silver dress that reflected any and all light. The bar was glass, and you could see her shapely legs and heels.

 _Her feet must be killing her. I know mine are after a few hours standing in those._ I looked away from the bar, eyes were staring at me. Where, I couldn't tell. I could feel it…the hairs were standing on the back of my neck.

I turned to look back at the woman, she looked at me. She had a pretty smile, and her eyes were a soft brown. She had a few pimples on her face, which told me this place hired underaged girls.

 _Perfect. More reason to murder the entire race._

I gave the girl my best smile, and offered the best voice I could muster.

"Hi. My name's Faylen and I had an interview with the owner." The girl immediately fell under my spell and she nodded.

"Give me one moment ma'am and I'll run and grab him." She looked over to the woman beside her.

"Hey Kim, this lady has an interview. I'm going to grab the boss. Cover me for a minute?" The girl named Kim gave the younger girl a nod.

Kim didn't look much older then I with pretty brown hair, her legs weren't as shapely as the other girl. But her face and bust made up for that. The dress was extra tight on her. That deep sick feeling came back into my stomach. I couldn't stand how they were being objected. I would make their death quick and painless. Something I normally wouldn't do. However, since they've done nothing wrong…I couldn't punish them too bad.

A moment passed by, the young girl came back. A man followed behind her, staring at her rear. The sickness went deeper in my stomach.

 _Men…disgusting._ I gave him my best smile, and instantly I had him. He waved me back. The young girl thanked Kim and gave me a look.

"Good luck Ma'am!" She waved.

I felt a hint of something strike my chest. She looked so young…and…somehow familiar. As if I've seen those eyes before. They were the softest of brown, and her face was heart shaped. For a moment it made me stall…as if I've seen her before. I felt a buzzing in my skull, and this time it wasn't the music screaming in my ears. It was something else. Something…

"Ma'am?" The man said, I turned to look at him and gave him my best smile.

"I'm sorry sir, what's that young girls name? I want to make sure I give her a big tip tonight." I placed my hands in front of me, squeezing the purse so tight I felt the plastic give.

"Oh? Kim?" He asked, I shook my head.

"No, the brown eyed, black haired girl." I pointed to the young girl who had helped me before.

"That's Arora, she's new. Just started last week. Just turned nineteen. Normally I don't hire underage girls, but I know her mom very well and I wanted to give her a good starting job. She does an amazing job." He gave me a smile, and placed his hand at my lower back.

My stomach heaved. I didn't want him touching me. He was disgusting…

"Thank you, I want to make sure she gets good tip is all…" I kept looking at her.

Something was just too familiar about her…something I couldn't put my finger on…

…

I stood next to him in the throne room, waiting. He made me put on a simple tuxedo, black on black on black. I guess because of the blood. He didn't want it to stain anything white. I didn't know.

"Alright, here's your weapon. Normally I give everyone a choice. You. I think it fits. Hold out your hand."

I held out my hand, and he dropped a simple. 9x19 mm Parabellum Glock handgun. It was small enough to fit into the palm of my hand, and light enough to toss up and down. There was a vague sense of familiarity with it. Not much.

"There's hollow point ammo in it. That way when the bullets-"

"When the bullets strike it flattens on impact. I know." I replied, pulling the top back chambering a around. My eyes looked at him, I saw my green eyes reflected in his. They were hollow…a glimmer of something sparked. He looked away from me, grunting.

"So, you know your guns." He turned and sat down on his throne. I was standing next to it. Waiting.

"Bring in the first one executioner." I gave him a nod heading to the door. With a swing of my hand a young girl fell through. She was shaking, she had short hair and blood dripped from her throat.

"Why are you hear child?" The king asked, the girl looked up at him and she screeched. Her hands went to her throat.

"I don't know…" She whispered.

"What do you mean you don't know?" He asked, she kept shaking her head.

"I was attacked from the back-"

"The truth!" I snapped, the girl looked up at me her eyes went blank.

"I killed him. I killed that cheating bastard!" She screamed, the anger flourished within her eyes. Her breathing became ragged as she hollered. The pain was so real within her eyes, I felt pity for her. I had never been there myself, so I wouldn't have understood the real pain she was in. I just shook my head at her.

"I caught him cheating with my best friend. I killed them both. I stabbed them thirty eight times with a kitchen knife. Then I sliced my own throat." She started to giggle.

"It was so exhilarating…watching them squirm with each thrust of the knife. The only thing I didn't like was the screaming. Her screaming made me feel that much worse…still, I enjoyed it when he screamed." Her hands dropped to her lap, her laughter died to a soft sob.

"There was nothing worse then catching them together, in my bed…in my home."

Her tale of woe did nothing to soothe the hole within my chest.

"I must tell you something young girl. There's much worse then what you've been through." I looked over to the big man who nodded.

"Turn away from me." I ordered, the girl looked at me. I placed the gun out, and her eyes filled with fear.

"How are you going to kill something that's already dead?" She asked me, I finally felt a smirk.

"Like this…"

The gun jumped in my hand. Her body fell, leaving ash behind. There was nothing left of the weeping murderess. Just the ringing within my ears of the gunshot. The big man nodded his head.

"I guess you have a way with getting the truth out of the souls." He chuckled lightly.

"Bring the next one in executioner."

I looked to the pile of ash before pushing the door open again.

A man walked through, he didn't look different. He looked normal. No blood, no gunshot wound, or knife wound. I kept looking his face over, only his lips were tinted blue and his eyes were rimmed yellow. There was nothing else I could see that was off. He stood in front of me, then looked to the big man.

"So, this is hell?" He asked, the big man gave a shrug of his shoulders.

"Depends on who you ask. What sent you here?" He asked, the man looked to me then back to him

"Personally I don't quite remember." He scratched the back of his head. The big man looked at me and I nodded. He was telling the truth, I could tell he was. There was no sense of him lying. He crossed his arms, and tapped his foot. He closed his eyes trying to think. He raised his finger.

"Ah, I remember. I killed my family." He looked at the big man, whom tilted his head.

"And do tell why."

The man gave him another look over.

"Depends, are you going to believe me?" He asked, Zalgo gave a light nod.

"Perhaps." He replied.

The man scratched his arm lightly.

"The voices told me to do it. They said that if I did I would be able to become immortal. That I would have unimaginable power and that the pain would stop. I wouldn't have to worry about the addiction or getting another high." He had a lopsided grin that struck me as funny.

"They told me that a man of higher power would grant me anything in the world, that I wanted…if I killed them."

Zalgo seemed interested, I kept the gun ready to fire.

"And how did you kill them?" He asked, the man gave another smile.

"Arsenic." He replied.

"And do you hear the voices now?" Zalgo asked, the man shook his head no.

"No I don't, they've been silent since I came here. And I don't understand why it did that." He replied, Zalgo sighed softly.

"We've had enough of you come through too. Family wipeouts are quite common…you claim you hear voices, when there really wasn't any. Let me guess, you saw a film of red after your wife did something you didn't like?" He asked, the man nodded and my stomach lurched forward. It was a lie. I looked at the big man and shook my head no. Zalgo cleared his throat.

"Tell me again, did you see a film of red after your wife did something you didn't like." He leaned back, waiting. The man shrunk into himself. Typical for a liar. I stepped to the man kicking the back of his knee, he fell forward with a yelp.

"Was there another woman? A woman who told you to leave your wife and family, or she would leave you?" I asked him, the gun placed to the base of his skull. The man cried out.

"Yes! Yes! Please don't shoot me!" He cried.

I looked to Zalgo who nodded.

"Do it."

I pulled the trigger, the man turned to ash. Dissipating into nothing. I thought there would've been a thrill…but there was nothing. Putting these souls out of their misery and putting them where they should've been…filing them…as if they were nothing more than a-

"Newbie." His voice floated over to me, I blinked. Bringing the gun back to my side looking at him.

"You're doing a good job. How are you feeling?" He asked.

"How am I feeling? I feel nothing." I replied.

 _I hate you, you condescending mother fucker…I'll kill you._

…

"So, miss…?" He looked at me, and I flashed him my smile.

"Velvet." I replied, he gave me a look and I smiled.

"My parents are strange I know." I placed my chin on my hand, looking at the martini that sat in front of me. He was trying to charm his way to me. But that hollowness made me hyperaware of my surroundings.

"Velvet, you're here for the lead singer position?" He asked, and I nodded again.

"Yes sir." I leaned back on the chair, his eyes looked me over. I felt disgusted.

"And why should I hire you?" He questioned. I flashed a smile and looked at him.

"Because I'd give you one hell of a show." I replied, he chuckled.

"Said everyone that came through here…" He leaned forward, he placed his hand on my knee.

"You expect to just get this job by walking in here, thinking you're hot shit…what would I get in return if I give you this job?" He asked. That throb deep within my core made me want to lash out. I took a deep breath in and sighed.

"How about…a little show?" His fingers tapped on my knee, I glanced from his hand up to his face. My smile faded and my eyes grew blank.

"Is that how you gave Arora her job? Did you really know her mother?" I asked, his own smile faltered.

"Of course I knew her mother, and her mother doesn't know what she did to get this job." His hand tightened around my knee.

"Just like no one else will know what will happen between us…if you don't let them know." He leaned forward his lips close to mine.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." I whispered, a gentle purr. He laughed.

"Oh honey, I'll give you the best time of your life."

I reached into my purse, pulling out a tube of lipstick. Using my thumb I popped the top off.

"Doubtful…" I brought my hand up at an arc, the blade cut through his throat and the bones of his hand like butter. I flashed him a smile, while giggling.

"What do you say…`Sweetie' do I have the job?" The man gagged, looking at his two missing fingers. Beautiful blood coursed down his throat.

"Now…" I stood, placing my foot to his chest I pushed him down onto the floor.

"I have a stage to take over." Placing the hidden blade back into my purse, I looked at the gagging man.

"I told you it wouldn't have been a good idea." The smile felt more natural this time. I turned to leave, the young girl named Arora stood at the door. Her bright eyes stared at me as her mouth opened, my eyes went dead as my smile fell.

"I know what he had done to you. Go back home to your mother." I walked to her, looking directly into her eyes.

"And if you speak of this to anyone, I'll find you and kill you myself. Don't make me do it. I will."

The girl looked from me to the man on the ground.

"He deserved it, and you deserve better Arora. Don't ever let a man rule your life. If you have to, get your hands a little dirty." Pushing past her, I went down the long stairs. I heard the door close, and her steps followed behind me.

"Who are you?" The young girl asked.

"You shouldn't ask questions. You're testing my patience. I said leave, go home." I walked by the bar. She followed.

"You look like my mothers missing friend." She pressed. I shook my head.

"You have the wrong girl Arora." I snapped.

"She has a picture of you and a young boy in her room! I knew it was you!" She placed her hand on my shoulder, the moment I turned around I had the blade pressed to her stomach.

"I said go home. Now." I stared into her eyes, she stared back.

"Your son died Faylen. He killed himself." She placed her hand around my wrist. I stared at her.

"You don't know me. If you did, you would know I had no son." I snatched my hand back, and went to the stage.

"And if I were you, I'd leave while you still have a chance. This is about to be one bloody horror show." A sudden fog came over my head, I felt a second of dizziness.

"And tell Myu to stop looking for me."

I stopped, that thought came from nowhere…that deep emptiness was there once again. And I felt my shoulders sag, and my mind grew empty. I looked at the girl who looked back at me. Her eyes were wide and she stepped away from me.

"You better get out of here as fast as you can." My voice dropped to that beautiful purr that I had. I smiled. She was running away from me. I went to the stage, the music died down the D.J stopped playing. All eyes were on me, I gave my smile picking up the microphone from its stand. The young girl was pushing her way out of the crowd. I felt that smile start to stretch at the edges of my face. As I spoke the words flowed through my lips in that deep throaty purr.

"Kill each other, and make it a beautiful, bloody horror show."

…

I was walking side by side with Sadie, she was covered head to toe with blood and I ash. She kept looking at me, and I looked at her.

"Do you feel my touch, when I touch you?" She asked me, when I looked at her I gave a shrug.

"I guess so." I replied.

Her fingers ran over my arm, and I could feel it. I could feel her touch…but nothing else. No emotions that led with it. I sighed softly. She was the only thing I could trust in this hellhole. Her golden brown eye looked at me, and I looked down at her.

"Would you feel me kiss you?" She asked. I pushed away from her.

"Look Sadie, I'm grateful that you were there when I woke up, you're a beautiful woman…but there's something else I need to do. I'm not sure what it is…but I have this feeling, that I'm here for another reason." I pulled away from her.

"Please stay." She grabbed my arm. Her eye swelled up with tears.

"Please…" She whimpered. My shoulders sagged and I sighed.

"What would I get if I do?" I asked, she pulled herself into me again. Burying her face into my chest, she took a deep shuddering breath in.

"I know who you are." She whispered, my body tightened.

"What?" I pulled her away by the shoulders. She looked up at me.

"I know who you are." She replied. Her eye looked down at her feet.

"I was supposed to be looking after you, making sure you don't get too close to the Queen. It's just…the rage within your eyes, I don't like it. It doesn't suit you." She fiddled with her fingers for a moment.

"It…it doesn't suit your face." She replied. I felt a moment of pity for her.

"You have no emotions but rage and that deep hatred…I can see it, every time to look at Zalgo. I don't know what his plan was for you two…but it's there-"

"Sadie!" Zalgo called from the back, she turned to look over her shoulder. She gave me another look before sighing.

"Listen, I'll tell you more later. I promise I will…just right now, there's other things that need to be settled." She turned on her heel and ran. I scratched the back of my head confused.

 _What the fuck is going on?_ I sighed. At least I could leave the castle walls. To stroll around whenever I wanted, when he was tired of sorting the souls…the pattern, what I've taken note of was when the Queen came back. She was covered, head to toe in blood. And she was, just as I thought, as beautiful with blood covering her pale skin. Her eyes were empty as she looked at me, I bowed at the waist as she passed me and into the kings waiting arms. He hugged her so tight I thought he was going to break her in half. He kissed her, and she kissed him back…

 _That anger I felt was so real, I thought I was going to drown in it. The water risen to my mouth and the current threatened to take me under. I still somehow held my head above it…_ Sadie's eye looked at me. Clarity struck me.

 _The girl…the girl held me above the waves. She was my life preserver._ I looked over my shoulder, watching her run back to the castle, barefoot and her blood stained white dress flowed behind her. There was something she wanted to speak to me about…

 _And you have to admit, she's beautiful just like the Queen._ I crossed my arms feeling the gun in my hand. It was still there, he never took it back from me. Still I had no _desire_ to go after him, not yet any way. There was something buzzing at the base of my skull, a vibrating door waiting for me to open it. But for what reason? What was waiting for me behind that door?

I walked along the path, listening to the swishing of trees. The courtyard was quiet this time of night, it was nice. There was no screaming of people, or demons. The ocean was beautiful too, there was a perfect little seat to sit down and watch the water. Magnolia trees sitting on the sand, the logical part of my brain was telling me that it wasn't supposed to be there. But it was anyway. I followed the path down to the beach; I wanted to be alone for a while before Zalgo called me back too. I had a few hours left to myself, and I wanted to use it.

Red hair, the same color as mine flowed in the wind carrying the scent of blood and death. She was sitting there letting the wind carry her hair behind her. She looked as if she was somewhere else, as if this wasn't her rightful place, she looked as if she should be in the movies. She was sitting there, the water crashing against her ankles, she had blood covering her entire being. Still, she looked peaceful.

 _Always remember, you stay away from the king and queen unless addressed._ Sadie's warning stayed in my head, as I turned to leave I heard her purr.

"You can sit with me if you wish."

I stopped, that buzzing at the base of my skull made me shudder. It was _her_ , she was the reason behind the buzzing in my head. I wanted to know who she was, and why she was here.

 _Maybe she remembers her story._ I walked to her, my shoes splashing in the water. When I looked at her, her eyes had no shine to them, they were empty as she stared out at the murky water. The blood that covered her skin made her look ethereal. Her hands laid in her lap, and the long dress laid in the water. She took a deep breath in and slowly let it out.

"What's your name?" She looked directly at me, patting to the empty spot next to her. I sat down, and she looked back out at sea. She smelt like honeysuckle and lavender, my brows knitted together. It was another thing that stood out to me. It…it…

"I don't have one. They just call me newbie." I replied. She gave me a look, a motherly look.

"You don't even have a name? God. What did my husband do to you?" Her voice sounded so sweet…it threw me off.

She was the perfect creature, the wolf in sheep's clothing. She could blend it, be another face in the crowd and no one would bat an eye at her. I blinked before looking back at the water. I raised my shoulders up and shrugged.

"I'm not sure honestly. I don't understand what happened."

The queen turned the conversation around on me; she asked me what I was going to ask her, surprising me. Showing me that she had the upper hand.

"What's your story?" She asked.

I looked at her and again shaking my head slowly.

"I don't have one…" I looked down at my hands.

 _I wish I could remember what my name was…I wish I could remember how I got here so this damned buzzing in my skull would go the hell away. It's driving me crazy._ I took a deep breath in and looked at her again, she was making me feel slightly uncomfortable.

"How long have you known the king?" I asked, she rose her shoulders up in a shrug.

"He tells me that he's kept watch over me for years." She moved her feet, she too was barefoot. I couldn't help but notice, most the women around here loved going barefoot…

 _Why? Is there something about it that makes them feel comfortable?_ I leaned back, finally relaxing. I kept the gun on my lap. She took note.

"Is that your weapon of choice?" She asked, I nodded.

"It feels comfortable. I feel like I can trust it more then anyone else." I let out a light breath.

"The king's expecting you back at any moment my queen. You shouldn't disappoint. I've learned the hard way, he hates tardiness." A sinking feeling came over my stomach, I had hopped he wouldn't lay a hand on her. That made my skin prickle.

"He won't lay a hand on me. I feel like he knows better." She had a legit smile on her face, for the first time since I've woken back up.

Within the uncomfortableness…there was a sense of…something. Familiarly? I wasn't quite sure, and I couldn't place my finger on it. Still, I managed to relax my muscles around her. She stayed silent for a moment longer.

"What's your weapon of choice?" I asked her.

"My looks, my voice, and my charisma. I can make anyone do anything I want them too. By a look, and how I speak to them." She sighed softly.

"Sometimes though I like to get my hands dirty and slice their throats. When I do that it feels like a cool bucket of water flowing over my aching skin. I constantly feel like I'm on fire with how much rage and anger I have inside me. And I hate it…I loathe it…" Faylen made a fist, her knuckles turned white.

"Then…there are the dreams I have. I can hear a child screaming…" She closed her green eyes.

"I can hear him scream out for me, screaming for his mother…" Her voice cracked the sudden emotions surprised her. She shook her head.

"Then I wake up, I'm next to the king…and I realize I'm safe. He brings me in close and the nightmare is forgotten…there are times, the nightmare feels so real. Like-"

"Like a fog, or a door that you can see…you just can't open. When you try, your head starts to buzz." I spoke up. She looked directly at me, her eyes flashed uncertainty.

"Yes…" She nodded lightly.

"Something like that…" She shrugged.

"But then, when I exterminate the vermin I feel better. Like I said, a bucket of cool water flowing over a fire. It's a temporary relief but it's something." She sighed.

"Is that why you like coming here?" I asked her. She nodded.

"It's peaceful, my mind is constant chaos. When I'm here…I'm myself. I can think for myself…" She looked at me and offered a motherly smile.

"Sadie has a thing for you. Don't break her heart." She made a light giggle.

"Or I'll kill you. She's special to me." She started to stand.

"You're right. I should get back to my husband before he freaks out. He does that sometimes…" She crossed her arms, leaning lightly on her right side.

"And I'm not sure why." She scoffs.

I looked at her arms and wrists, they were covered in little white lines. Her bandages around her wrists were saturated with blood. I wanted to ask, but she was already gone. Just like that, she disappeared as if she, herself was the wind. I only blinked and poof. I leaned back against the seat and stared out at the rolling waves. There was something comfortable about this place. What it was, I wasn't so sure…but with Faylen around, the buzzing became worse…yet she calmed it as well. As if she too understood the pain…

 _Pain…it wasn't physical pain, it was emotional. Whenever I try to think about it, it sends me spiraling further down the rabbit hole. Making me question everything I do, why I'm here…how I got here. The moment I open my mouth to ask someone, they look away. Everyone shy's away from me. Is it because I'm new? Is it because of how I look?_ I touched the eyepatch.

 _I feel like there's pieces of me that are missing. And some that are still falling away from me, that I can't grasp…like I'm losing my mind every second I'm here…there are times where I can't even breathe. Sleep is non-existent. There are no hunger pains…my body doesn't even crave water…_ Removing my hand, I look back to the sky above my head.

 _What am I? Why do I even try to fight against him? Every time I try, he looks at me and I'm back to a machine._ The deep hatred flooded my chest, a sudden choking sensation filled my throat.

 _I can't help but feel like I've lost everything, but I just can't fucking remember what I've lost…_ I closed my eyes, seeing Faylen there.

 _Seeing her the way she is…there's something so familiar about her, I just can't put my finger on it. No matter how hard I try…she just doesn't belong here…_ a sigh fell from my lips. I just wanted the puzzle pieces to be placed back together. There was something inside Faylen that just felt…felt like…

 _Home…_

…

My legs were shaking as I went into the apartment, mom was still at work and my stomach heaved. There was so much blood...

 _So…So…much blood…and that woman…_

I placed my hand to my arm, a random glass bottle struck my upper arm cutting into it. It wasn't bad. But it was enough to be bothersome. Removing my hand I looked at it again. It was a deep scratch. Something that a gauze could cover.

 _But mom, she'd ask questions…_

I took a deep breath walking passed the living room and into the hallway. I went right to mom's bedroom, the sound of my heels were silenced by the carpet. I looked at the hallway.

 _It was this very spot Uncle Calen stopped, gave me a hug before…before he went on a killing spree before killing himself. I was so young at the time…what happened? What made him do it…?_

I went into his room, Myu hadn't changed a thing. It was the same as it always had been. She had been off working again…leaving me alone in the home again. I had grown used to it.

 _After everything that's happened to her family, I'm not surprised she wouldn't want to be around me. I'm not much either…I remind her of Stu…I look like him._ I sighed.

"I'm alone it's no…" I stopped, looking around the room. There was a hint of something sweet lingering in the air, and…something roasted. It smelt like cotton candy and roasted…

"Peanuts?" I stepped into his room, looking around trying to figure out where the smell was coming from. It was hard to pin point, I went to his bed. Myu made it, and made sure it was nice and fresh…as if Uncle Calen would've been coming home every night.

"Which he's not." I dropped down to my knees, following the scent.

Underneath the bed laid a black and white Laughing-Jack-in-The-Box. I lay down on my side and reached, my fingertips touched it but I was just too short. Scoffing I sat back up, I saw his hockey stick. Taking that I used it to bring the box to me. It was old, covered in dust and cracked on the lid. I tossed the stick to the side and looked it over.

"Poor thing. It's all dusty…" I ran my finger over the crack. It was deep.

"Hm…I should have some wood glue in my room." I took the box underneath my arm, and left Uncle Calen's room.

The box had a lingering scent of cotton candy, it was sweet and reminded me of the carnival that Uncle Calen and Myu took me to. I walked down the hall and opened my door. Kicking my heels off, I sat the box down on my bed. I went to my crafting drawer, sighing as I dug through it.

"God damn it, I knew I had some…where is it…?" I grumbled. I reached all the way in the back, my fingers touched the elusive tube. I let out a light victory laugh.

"Gotcha."

I turned around; the box was sitting up the entrance to the lid looking right at me. I blinked a few times tilting my head lightly.

"Allllright…" I sat down on the bed, putting the box on my lap. I opened the tube and squirted out a little bit of the glue. Using my finger I ran it over the crack.

"God, I wonder how long you've been under there…you're so dusty." I felt myself smile. The box was old, dusty with a crack. Overall it had a beautiful look to it.

 _If I can figure out a way to fix this crack I can sand it down and repaint it. Maybe some pinks, blues and purples? Make it for one of the kids at the center. Obviously Uncle Calen isn't using it anymore…_ I ran the glue down through the crack again. A sudden movement to the left caught my eye; I lifted my head and looked over. My door was cracked open and the hallway was covered in shadows. Placing the box to the side I wiped my hand on my uniform dress.

 _Not like I'm going to be wearing it anymore…that woman…she looked just like Uncle Calen's mom…and her name…she had the same name too…didn't she? Faylen?_ Opening my door I peeked out.

"Mom, are you home early?" I called. No answer.

"Of course not, because no one's home." I huffed.

Closing the door I turned back around, the box was facing me again. Placing my hands on my hips I shook my head.

 _It's nothing. I'm just tired._

Sighing I went to my bed, touching the handle. It was a little rusted and hard to move, but I wound it up and watched it go. The song sounded off…mellow, it just wasn't right…

"What is this thing?" I whispered. The silence that filled the room was damning. A moment or two went by.

"Isn't the top supposed to pop?" I asked.

I wound it up again, and still the silence dragged on. The apartment was quiet and I was alone. Nothing unusual there…but…the shadows were creeping in, suffocating me. All I wanted was just to take a shower, clean this blood off me and go to bed…to forget everything that's happened. I sighed.

 _Damn thing's just broken…_ I put the Jack in the box beside my bed.

"I'll try to figure out how to fix you in the morning. Right now I'm just too damn tired, to even try…" Getting up I got myself fresh new clothes and a warm towel.

The same shadow passed the threshold again; I dropped the clothes and snatched the door open. The silence and shadows moved, there was no one there. Yet hands started to wrap around the back of my neck, telling me someone was.

 _I locked the door…I know I did…what…what the hell is going on?_ I took a sharp breath in, closing my door I locked it. I slid down to a sitting position, pulling my knees to my chest. My heart rammed within my ribcage. I couldn't breathe. The shadows within my room moved and danced.

 _I want my mom…I want my mom…_ I breathed in and out…closing my eyes.

 _My mind is breaking that's all…from everything that went on today. That's it…it's nothing else._

Fingers wrapped over my head, gently stroking my hair. I took in a sharp breath, and a sob escaped instead. I whimpered, whoever it was, was in my room. I shuddered.

"What do you want?" It came out as a whimper.

Only silence and the hand that was stroking my hair; lifting my head I opened my mouth to scream. What faced me was a tall monochromatic clown staring me down with white eyes, a pointed nose and sharp teeth. His clothes were stripped, black and white his smile was wide and his eyes bounced from side to side. My mouth dropped open and I opened my mouth to scream.

"No one will hear you scream lollipop." He chuckled, he cackled.

He laughed.

"W-what are you?" I whimpered, the clown tilted his head and busted a gut laughing.

"The good old laughing jack in the box that's what; I'm here to end your suffering." He cackled again. His eyes rolled around in his skull, my own heart slammed in my ribcage.

"Look I've had enough for one night, first a woman who's been missing for years comes around slaughters everyone in the night club and now you?" I reached out and shoved him with as much force as I could.

"Leave me the fuck alone!" I screeched. The clown looked at me, tilting his head.

"How did you find me child?" He asked, my heart skipped.

"You were under Uncle Calen's bed. He's dead." The clown's face changed the moment I said those words. He dropped the murder act and stared at me.

"Calen…is…dead?" The words came out as a whisper. I nodded.

"Yeah you freaky fuck. He's been dead the last ten years." I started crawling back to the door, reaching up for the handle. As I pulled it down, I realized it was locked.

 _F…Fuck…_ I swallowed hard. The clown took a few steps back and sat down on the bed. He stared at me for a moment longer.

"Are you Arora?" He asked, and I nodded.

"I haven't seen you, since you were a little girl. You're how old now?" He asked me. I swallowed back my fear.

"I just turned seventeen. I lie to get my way…I say I'm nineteen…that's what people always tell me that I look like." He gave me another look before chuckling lightly.

"You're making no sense with your words. Could you try speaking proper English at least?" He asked me. My body trembled in terror.

"I lie about my age, I'm seventeen but I tell everyone I'm nineteen. Is that why you're here? To scare me?" I took a deep breath in to settle the shakes.

"Did mom hire you to scare me? How'd you know my Uncle Calen?" I asked again. The clown looked at me and offered a sad smile.

"I knew his mom and him. His mom has been gone for a long time. I haven't heard anything from Calen for so long I thought he forgot about me…it turns out, he's just dead." He stopped speaking for a moment to laugh.

"How did he die?" He asked, I slowly let the handle go to look at the clown.

"He…he went on a killing spree, then shot himself in the face." I relaxed against the door, keeping my knees to my chest.

"Were…were you Calen's dad or something?" I asked, when he looked at me I saw the sadness deep within his eyes.

"I was supposed to keep him safe. I promised his mom. When she was taken away from us, he fought me every single day till he turned eighteen. Try and find her, try and find her…and I tell him every day I can't. Someone has her…and he's…he's so much more powerful than me. I'd die if I tried to get her back. And I made that promise to her, I would keep him safe…and I failed." He sighed lowering his head. He looked…defeated.

"So…you're telling me that someone has Uncle Calen's mom…and no one has tried to get her back from him?" I asked, and he nodded.

"It's because…he's not a normal human being."

I barked a laugh.

"After what I've seen today, I'm not in the least bit surprised." He lifted his head up at that one.

"What do you mean Arora?" He asked.

"The woman that's been missing? She came into our nightclub. Like I said before, and forced everyone to kill herself. Faylen. That's her name right?" I asked, his eyes lit up at the sound of her name. He was on his feet and I was on mine reaching for the door.

"Where did you see her? What did she look like? You said she killed everyone in the nightclub? What…that's like a hundred? Hundred fifty people?" He was getting excited.

"S…She had on a maroon dress, her hair was down and it touched her hips, her eyes were the strangest colored green and they were empty. Like...they had no shine to them whatsoever, and she had a smile that lit up the entire room…she had freckles across her face. She had a locket around her neck…" His hands wrapped around my arms and pulled me close to him. He smelt of decay and cotton candy. My stomach lurched forward, making me feel sick to my stomach.

"That's her! Oh my god that's Faylen…but he's changed her…he…"

"Arora I'm home!"

We both turned to look at the door.

"MOM! HELP THERE'S A CLOWN HERE TRYING TO KILL ME!" I shouted as loud as I could. Her footsteps echoed and stopped at my door, she used her own key to unlock it.

"Oh come on, what did I tell you about lying-"

Jack's face stopped as he looked at Myu and I looked at them both. My mom had aged, she had gray hair and wrinkles caressing her skin. She looked at the clown and he looked at her.

"Myu…" His voice dropped, and he let me go. She stepped in and smiled, her arms wrapping around him in a big hug.

"I thought I'd never see you again Jack…I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry about Calen. I looked all over the room but I couldn't find the box." I watched her squeeze him, and he squeezed back. I took a step back and sat on my bed, confused as all fuck of the events of today.

"She's alive Myu, Arora saw her today. And…she told me about Calen…why did he do it…?" He asked her, Myu looked up at him tears within her eyes. I had never seen my mom cry, not sense I graduated.

"He did it to save her…obviously if she saw Faylen and not Calen something went wrong." Myu stepped back from his arms, and I looked between them, confused as hell.

"What are you two talking about?" I asked, mom shot me a look.

"I thought I told you to quit working at that place. I didn't like the owner he was scum." My mom snapped at me. For a moment I sat there dumbfounded.

"Mom…she was going to kill me…but she didn't. She looked at me and told me to tell you, to stop looking for her. There's no need." I dropped my eyes to the ground.

"I'm not going back there, she killed the boss…and everyone else there. Just by telling them to kill each other…there…there was so much blood." My throat tightened up, and I felt myself sob. Mom was by me in a second, her arms wrapped around me.

"Oh god sweetie I'm so sorry!" She held me close to her chest, and I cried. The clown was standing in the middle of the room, swaying back and forth.

"He did all that…to save his mother…" Jack brought his hands up to his head.

"Oh god…oh god…!" He looked at me and mom.

"He has them both! He fucking has them both! He played me!" Jack bellowed. The tears fell from his face, his chest rising and falling as he breathed hard.

"I…I can't believe he did this!" He screamed. Looking at mom he walked forward.

"How long has it been Myu? Since Calen has been gone."

I opened my mouth.

"Ten years…" I whispered. He looked at me and placed his hand on top of my head.

"Thank you Arora…" He looked back at mom.

"I'm sorry, for scaring her." He backed up.

"I have unfinished business to attend to."

…

I laid out in the bath, a glass of wine touching my lips. Zalgo was laid out on the bed nude. He was silent. My groin between my legs ached from our love making. Every time we make love, I'm completely pleased and satisfied. I couldn't have asked for a better lover…

 _He's hiding things from me. But what is he hiding? Another lover?_ A spark of jealousy came from my middle.

"Zalgo, my love?" I shouted, I heard the bed move as he was getting up. He walked into the bathroom, leaning against the wall, his smile widened.

"Yes my dear?"

The love within his eyes surprised me.

 _No…not another woman._

I leaned back into the bubbles, the scalding water rose up and over my breasts. He went to the side of the tub and stepped in. He settled down in front of me, his eyes roaming over my body.

"Have I ever told you, that you're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on?" He tilted his head slightly and I gave a light smile. Sipping at my wine again, I couldn't help but smile.

"Every day, and I love to hear it." I gave a smile, running my foot up over his leg. My toes touching his abs, he took my foot into his hands and gently massaged my arch.

"Why don't you stay home tomorrow? Spend the day with me. Give our new executioner a break. He needs one. Apparently he doesn't feel anything; Smiley said-"

"Why did you take his name?" I asked him. Zalgo gave me a look of surprise.

"Whom?" He asked.

"The newbie, why did you take his name?" I breathed out. Zalgo shrugged.

"Like I told you my love, the change is different for everyone. What may have been painless for you, and you still remember your name. Obviously was different for him, he lost everything. He's a shell. Nothing more." He gave me that winning smile I loved. It's just…this time it didn't win me over.

"Zalgo my love, you're hiding something from me. I know you are. I can tell." Sitting up I placed the wine glass on the side of the bathtub, waiting for an explanation. He only looked at me.

"I don't know what to tell you my love, I haven't hid anything from you I promise."

I chuckled.

"You lie." I snapped. He once again was stopped.

"Faylen…no I'm not I swear." He continued rubbing my foot

I leaned back sighing.

 _This is getting nowhere with him…_ I allowed him to touch me a little more.

"Please my love, stay home tomorrow. Don't go killing…" He dropped my foot back into the tub, he pushed himself up and began climbing on top of me.

"If you stay home…I'll make it worth your wild…" He chuckled, nipping at my ear. I couldn't help but smile and giggle. His hot breath against my neck made goose bumps rise against my skin…just like killing, he gave me that relief from the burning anger I had deep inside of me. His hand caressed my face, and he looked at me, directly into my eyes and kissed me.

My heart pitter pattered, my breathing labored and I felt myself melt against him. There was nothing I wanted more then to stay happily with him. But…I broke the kiss for a moment and he looked down at me.

"Is there something wrong my love?" He asked.

"Is there another?" I asked, he had a smile spreading across his lips.

"Of course not, anyone could ever replace you. Ever…" He kissed my lips again, my arms wrapped around his neck.

"If there was…" I whispered against his lips.

"I'd have to break her neck, and then castrate you." I bit his bottom lip and purred.

"I refuse to share you." I breathed out, pushing him back against the tub. The glass fell over onto the floor as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He was hard against me and I moaned in pleasure. His hands were at my sides, running up to my breasts. His eyes filled with lust, he lifted his hips and he pushed into me. He filled me out and made me tilt my head back in pleasure. It felt so good to have that cool relief rushing over my body. I couldn't have felt it with anyone else.

 _Could I…?_

My eyes closed as I rocked against him. It felt too good not to believe.

 _I want to believe it._

I breathed harder, the burning within my groin grew as my pleasure heightened. He was hitting spots he had never hit before. My heart rammed within my ribcage, his hands held my breasts. I leaned forward my hands touched his chest as I rode him harder. His own face contorted in pleasure.

 _That boy…the new executioner…there's something odd about him._

I screamed.

 _I need to find out._


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter fifteen:

The Dark

I laid in the bed, my legs covered Zalgo's. My brain kept firing too fast for me to catch them. Rolling over, I watched the moon rise in the night sky. I couldn't help the question flowing through my brain. My fingers played with the locket around my neck, his soft snoring filled the bedroom; the soft burning ache between my legs kept me grounded reminding me what I was…and what I was meant for…yet within his eyes I saw myself in what I was. His lover, and the person he loved. I looked over to him, his eyes were closed his lashes touched his cheeks. The horns upon his head did little to deter me from him. My body shivered, cool air touched my skin. I watched his chest rise and fall as he slept deeply. I took a deep breath in and sighed softly. When he was near, the need for homicide dissipated; rolling to my side I pulled myself close to him. I wanted to feel his body heat. He opened his eyes to look at me just for a moment, there was a soft sleepiness to them that made me smile. He lifted his arm and wrapped it around me. His eyes closed and once more he drifted off into slumber, he didn't snore, and his breathing never changed. I laid my head against his shoulder, listening to the beating of his heart.

The windows in our bedroom surrounded us, the whole room became covered in darkness with touches of light from the moon. Still, as I looked up at the midnight sky I couldn't see a single star. A sudden sadness filled me, and I couldn't understand why.

 _Because this isn't where you belong. Deep inside you know it._

My brows knitted together in confusion. Why did I think that?

 _Even though I miss the light, I'm not afraid the dark. Zalgo was a risk I was willing to take._

Where was this coming from?

 _It's a mistake and there was too much at stake! You knew this, and yet you took the leap. See where it landed you? Laying here, naked in his bed like he owns you. Why? Why did you do this to yourself Faylen?_

My left temple throbbed, I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep. I wanted to bask in the rhythm of his heart and sleep as deep as he could. I wrapped my arm around him and squeezed my body against his. His skin reacted, his heart picked up. I closed my eyes, feeling the tears burning behind my eyes.

 _Do you even want to be found Faylen?_

I sucked in a sharp breath, the voices were screaming, and it was making my head hurt, and heart ache. Why would they be screaming at me now? Of all times…

I opened my eyes looking at the sky, there wasn't a single star. There was nothing but the large purple moon and broken trees reaching to the top. His fingers rubbed my arm, but still sleep eluded me. There was no possible way for me to sleep with the thoughts and voices screaming at me. I pulled myself away from him as slowly, and easily as I could. He only moved slightly, just to turn over on his side and let out a soft sigh. The moment I myself tossed my legs over the edge of the bed, the tips of my toes touching the carpeted floor. Tears tumbled down my cheeks, the deep hollowness within my chest filled with a sorrow I had never felt before. A loneliness I believed to have forgotten…the pain resurfaced…and it was there, fresher than ever before. I took in a slow shuddering breath, I got to my feet.

 _You're fighting for a love, you don't truly believe in…and your heart is fighting against your head. You didn't want to fall, but you're falling into a hole so deep you wouldn't be able to get back out of. How does that make you feel? Truly feel? The darkness inside you, is it real? Or was it put there?_ I closed my eyes, shaking my head hard. It was lies. All lies…

 _And what about the newbie? He doesn't even know his name, yet when you gazed into his eyes there was something there, something you've seen before. The deep pits of hatred, loneliness…and hurt. The anger that resided inside him was real and raw. It will be his undoing and you know it…and he knows it too…the boy has a door inside him, just like you do. You both hold the key to opening it, but the fear of pain is too much. Isn't it?_

I grit my teeth.

 _Shut up! I'm going for a walk…_

I took my silk robe that laid on the floor and wrapped myself in it. The fabric touched my skin, just like Zalgo had done, tightness wrapped around my throat as I looked at him once again. He had power, real and raw something that a lot of people would fear…but I didn't. I didn't fear him. I feared no man, or creature alike.

 _Fear…the emotion that was ripped clean away from me. Something, I haven't felt in so long…yet…_ I took a deep breath in, and walked to our door. It was unlocked, and I stepped out into the silent hall. Silence and solitude. The two things I had craved the most, and wanted. Closing out door as silently as possible I waited for a moment, thinking he would jump out of bed and tell me I was being ridiculous…

A moment passed, and I was still standing there, and he was still sleeping in our bed.

 _Do you even know who you are?_

I turned away from the room and looked to the staircase. I could just as easily walk out and disappear. No one would ever find me again…no one would even know where to look.

 _Don't!_ The thought screamed in the back of my head. My heart jumped in my chest, the emotion I was lacked jumped at me, barked…I took in a sharp breath, anxiety gripped my heart. I leaned against the stone wall, the coolness touched my blazing skin. Throbbing temples brought me back, sweat glistened my face. Still my heart pounded deep within my ribcage. The anxiety attack lasted for a moment or two longer before I could take a deeper breath in to calm myself.

 _God…I can't think about leaving without an attack like that…_ Letting the air out of my lungs slowly, my skin became engulfed in the flaming heat of anger. If I was away from him for long periods of time, that's what happens. I become angry, and filled with hatred…wanting the death of anything and everything that comes near me. One wrong move, that person and or thing would be struck down where they stood. Looking down at the palms of my hands.

 _Do I still even bleed?_

The bandages were replaced with beautiful bangles, hiding the hideous scars that lined my wrists…hiding the moment I had attempted to kill myself. At least that was what I was told. That I had tried killing myself and Zalgo saved me.

"If that was true…" I whispered.

"Why are you out here, this late at night?" A voice filtered over to me. When I lifted my head up, I saw him. With those dead green eyes, he held a plate of food, and the girl Sadie was next to him. Her face had a light pink tint to it. The first color I had ever seen on her pale white skin. The anger coursed through my veins and, yet I leaned up from the wall, straightened my back. It was my first duty, as queen to reign The Pit without questions.

"Because I couldn't sleep. I wanted to take a walk." I replied, the young man nodded to me. Sadie looked at me with a questioning eye. I only gave her a side glance before offering a sweet smile.

"Are you having fun with your new boyfriend dear?" I asked, her face flamed red and she looked away from me. The new boy just looked at her, his eyes just as dead as mine.

 _I wonder if that was a normal thing. To have dead eyes like this…_ The boy just scoffed before looking back at me. He cracked a light grin.

"I didn't know you had a sense of humor." He replied, I tilted my head slightly before giving him another smile.

"I don't. That died with the old me." I sat upright, keeping the robe tightly around me. His eyes never wondered over me, he stayed looking directly at my face. There was no want, no need, or desire within them…but the smallest spark when he looked at my necklace.

"Where did you get that?" He asked nodding to it. I touched the cool smooth metal for a moment.

"The King gave it to me when I got here." I replied, again he looked it over. Handing the plate of food to Sadie, he stepped up to me. She let out a light gasp.

"No, you can't approach the queen!" She sunk back into herself for a moment. I opened my mouth to speak.

"It's alright Sadie, I promise. He can approach me." I squared my shoulders and he reached out, his fingers running over the locket. He clicked the little hatch and the door swung open. His eyes looked at it, and just as I thought there were no emotions crossing his face. He didn't recognize the picture inside of it. Nor did I. The faces were blurred. No matter how hard I looked at it, or tried to concentrate…it just blurred. All the faces looked as if they were wiped clean. Slowly he shook his head.

"I don't recognize anyone, it's just a blur." He looked at me.

"I'm sorry ma'am. I was curious as to see what was inside of it." He closed it, gave a light bow at his waist and looked back to Sadie who also nodded. His eyes remained at my neck.

"Are you alright ma'am? You seem to be sweating a bit." He gave a tilt to his head. His red hair cased his face.

"Your eyes seem to be out of focus." He was assessing me. Seeing if there was anything off about me. I just shook my head.

"No. There's nothing wrong with me No Name." I replied crossing my arms. His eyes shifted.

"Lies." He whispered, I looked at him once more. His face contorted slightly.

"I can sense when someone is lying. It's why he made me who I am, with the job I have." He crossed his arms, I saw the bulk of him. He was a large man…and it made me wary of him…the anger. Red.

Red crossed my vision.

"Get out of my sight now. You're making me sick to my stomach." I looked away from him. Hatred pulsed at my head.

"Ma'am are you alright? You look pale." Sadie spoke up, I rose my hand.

"I'm going for a stroll. I need a break from the castle. Don't wake my husband. Let me do this myself." I began to walk away, his hand captured my wrist.

I felt something strike my core, and Sadie openly gasped in surprise. I looked directly into his dead eyes, there was that same spark I saw before. Pure hatred radiated from him, not of me…but of someone else. Underneath that outer mask deep inside I saw the monster raging underneath his skin. My blood ran frigid. Much colder then what Zalgo could make and my body became lax. He too seemed to relax.

"I've seen you somewhere before." He whispered, I only shook my head. My hair fells over my shoulders.

"That's impossible. I don't know you, and you don't know me from Adam!" I attempted to pull my wrist back, I had felt no fear of him, but I wanted to get away from him at the same time. He shook his head again.

"There's something familiar about you…" He narrowed his eyes at me again and I tried pulling away. The questions I wanted say failed to pass my lips and the want and need to speak to him faltered. I just wanted to get away from him and Sadie's peering eye. I just wanted to go to the ocean and breathe. That's all I wanted…

"No…you don't know me No Name." His grip grew tighter, the light flickered within his eyes and I watched as they became flinty.

"I have a name, I just can't remember it…but I remember your face. It appears to me in nightmares…the screaming, and the fog. I've seen your eyes somewhere before…there are things about you that come out of the darkness. Why I don't know…but I'll find out. One way or another." He dropped my wrist, turned to look at Sadie whose eye was wide.

"You're lucky Zalgo wasn't out here, he would've cut your contract and had you executed." Sadie whispered, I just gave her a look and sighed.

"I would've stopped him…" The words came out before I had a chance to stop it. Both looked at me, and I pulled my wrist away, he allowed it. When I looked at him, there was a flash within his eyes and his face relaxed.

"I know you would've…" He straightened his shoulders out.

"I know you've told me that you didn't have a story. But we all do…" He looked away from me.

"I'm fighting to remember mine, my brain just wouldn't allow me to open that door. No matter how hard I try." He looked to Sadie.

"Come on, let's go back to Smiley before he thinks we're doing something inappropriate." He looked at me one last time.

"And you, you should question everything and anything." He turned his back to me, before going up the flight of stairs. I stayed where I was for a moment longer.

 _What the hell just happened?_ I allowed myself to breathe properly.

 _So much for a peaceful walk…_ I touched my wrist were No Name held me…there were so many things I wanted to ask of him, I just couldn't open my mouth to speak. I…I…

 _I was terrified._ I went to the stair case and descended.

The castle was silent this time of night…it was the best time to be left alone with your thoughts…

…

"Are you crazy?!" Sadie stood in front of me, her one eye wide and filled with fright.

"What if she goes to the king and tells him what you did?! You laid your hands on the queen!" She spoke in a harsh whisper, I looked down at her and shrugged.

"She won't." I replied. Sadie gave me another look.

"How are you so sure?" She pushed, I shrugged again.

"I just do." The moment she looked at me, I knew she wouldn't say a word. Looking at her, was just like gazing into a mirror, I saw myself deep within her and she saw herself in me. Her eyes were just as dead as mine, and the hatred and anger went just as far. She felt the burning sensation throughout her body just as I did mine. We were the same in that regard.

"Do you two know each other…?" Sadie looked away from me, and I looked back at her. The locket around Faylen's neck…through the blur I could almost make out the same eyes I see in my sleep every night. Her voice I hear. It's why sleep eludes me.

Along with the feeling of loneliness that came with it. There were somethings the door just couldn't keep out. That was one of them. I laid my eye back on Sadie.

"You wanted to meet me, at this ungodly hour to speak to me about her. Now speak." I crossed my arms, the girl fell into herself. Her eye looked away from me, her lips pursed. She put the plate of food to the side before she took a deep breath in and let it out.

"Well…" She rocked on her heels, her eye looked to the side. I walked to her, putting my hand around her throat, I lifted her to where we were eye to eye.

"Tell me now. You know why I'm here, and you know who I am. So, tell me!" I gave a light shake; her eye went wide as she gasped. Her hands reached out to wrap around my wrist, her mouth opened. The fear I saw within her brown eye sent a shiver of pleasure through my spine. The fear on this girl's face gave me more incentive to crush her windpipe. Her broken nails scratched at my skin, she was nodding.

"Alright, alright…" She gasped.

"You have a name." She gagged.

"It's Calen. Your name is Calen!" She nearly screeched, her face turned a cherry red. I tilted my head and dropped her. There was no feeling within the name, I felt like it had no sound. The words bounced around my skull and I just stared at her gagging and coughing on the floor. Her eye watered as she laid out on the floor. She heaved. However, I didn't feel like she was lying to me…she wouldn't lie. She looked up at me, the tears that fell from her eye; the hurt that filled it…I felt nothing. I just tilted my head slightly.

"What else is there?" I asked. She started shaking her head hand over her throat.

"Too much to tell." She coughed.

I looked her over, crossing my arms for a moment waiting. She let out a sigh.

"There's so much more going on than what I can tell you…" She got to a sitting position, a bruise forming around her throat.

"I really do wish I could tell you everything. You won't believe most of it Calen…" She looked down, the feeling of sadness wafted from her, I felt her sincerity. I knew she wasn't lying to me I could tell.

 _At least I know my name._ Holding my hand out to her, she took it.

"You didn't have to choke me, I was going to tell you anyway." I pulled, and she got to her feet.

"I don't know this. I've learned not to trust anyone around here-"

A few feet away a door slammed open, and we turned to look. Smiley was standing there, his arms crossed, his face deep in a scowl, his red eyes blazing. He stared directly at Sadie. I saw the fear enter her face, a deep feeling entered my chest and I stood in front of her. I could hear a small gasp escape her lips. Smiley was walking down the hall to us, his smile was a frown and he stared directly at me. He was furious.

"You two are late. _Very_ late. What have you two been doing?" He looked between me and her. His eyes lingered on her much longer then I had liked. I gave a half assed shrug.

"We were speaking to the Queen." That brought his gaze back to me, he dropped his arms to his sides and stared at me.

"You're telling me, that the queen is out of her room at almost three in the morning?" He asked me, and I nodded.

"And that she snuck out just because she wanted too?" I nodded again. He kept staring at me, grinding his sharp teeth together.

"Why are you lying to me?" He pushed. Sadie peeked around my side.

"He's not lying Sir. The Queen couldn't sleep so she left to go on a small walk." She replied. His eyes snapped to her, his face became slack. I watched a thousand emotions run through his face. Many weren't good.

"Do you know where she went?" He asked, we both shook our heads.

"She wouldn't tell peasants like us were she would go." I piped up. A defensive flash crossed is eyes and he walked by us.

"Don't speak of her like that. She's not like the king. I promise." He descended the stairs, taking two at a time.

"Oh, I know she's not." I whispered.

Sadie gave me another look before wrapping her arms around me, burying her face into my lower back. She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. I could feel the warmth of her tears seeping into my suit jacket. Her grip was deathly tight, but it was okay…because I could feel the pain within her. She longed to have someone just like her. She wanted to be known, to be seen…and I was the only one who had done just that. I took her hands and held them, gently I rubbed her skin with mine. I could feel it…deep within her soul. She had no one…no friends or anything…not since…since high school. I felt her burning need for revenge…it matched mine. I wanted revenge…but for what? What did I want revenge for? Deep inside I could feel the flicker of a flame, and a simple flick of a wrist could bring it to an inferno. And the queen did that. I wanted to take my revenge for her…but why? What had happened to her, to us that made me want to do that? I kept rubbing Sadie's hand and I could hear the gentle sobs of her crying. Normally it would annoy me, tonight however…something was different. Something inside me changed, the hollow feeling I had laying on my chest changed to a sadness I've never felt before. A depression that lingered longer then I had liked…Sadie didn't bring it on…it was the sound of my name upon her lips. _Calen._ That was it, it was a key that started to unhinge the door that had been locked within my brain. The fog was there, it was growing thicker…I couldn't stop it, nor the screaming that I could hear. The gunshots were growing, and yet I still stroked her hand, and listened to her crying. It was all I could do, no one was there to comfort me…why should they? I was a nobody. I had no reason for being there…I don't think.

 _Do I? What was my purpose for coming here?_

Frustration filled me. And I sighed gently. It wasn't from her sobbing, as she constantly asked, and I would just tell her no. No, she was fine. Go ahead, cry it out. I was there for her. Yet my heart yearned to cry too…yet the tears refused to fill my eye and fall. I was cold. Stone cold…empty and numb. But at least I wasn't the _newbie_ or _no name._ I finally knew the name I was missing for so long. Though it felt strange at first, I knew _who_ I was. I just didn't know _why_ I was there.

 _I know why, I just can't remember…_

…

Cool water washed over my ankles, I sat in the same seat as I always do. I watched the rain clouds go above my head. I wanted them, and he gave them to me. He always gives me what I want, yet it still isn't enough to fill what I was missing. The heat on my skin was there, stronger than ever before…I wanted to go hunting, but I couldn't. He would allow me to go hunting when he deemed it necessary. Afraid that I might run away.

 _Why would I run, when I'm apparently happier here?_ I scowled for a moment.

 _Am I happy?_ I leaned back, listening to the roaring waves. The sound relaxed me and brought me away from my inner mind. Each time I was alone, it allowed me to think and sometimes thinking was worse than the actual action of me harming someone.

 _Even if I loved it. It eased the burning pain I feel. Yes, being near my husband was the best solution, it makes me never want to leave…but the hunger. God the fucking hunger of murder…it drives me insane after a while…_ I watched sea foam coat the cement bench. All I needed was the silence and the sound of the ocean to calm my anxiety.

 _He calls me his perfect monster, but my emotions have gone unchecked for so long. How could he call me perfect when my emotions are completely wrecked?_ _Aren't they supposed to have none or very little? Why do I have so many conflicting ones?_ Small raindrops fell on my face, taking me back…taking me…back…where?

There were memories that I wanted to remember but I couldn't…just like why looking at No Name makes me feel like I was seeing into a mirror. Looking at him…reminded me of someone, someone from so long ago. I sighed rubbing my face, I didn't want to go back but the burning pain was cutting into my relaxation and meditation. Not to mention all the thinking was causing my anxiety to start flaring. I wanted nothing more than to lie down and-

"Faylen?" I turned at the sound of my name. I pulled the robe closed, my nude body was being kissed by the gentle rain. I stood, ready to defend myself if needed. The shadows moved, and I waited patiently. There was no other sound but the ocean and my heavy breathing. Three people called me by my first name.

 _Zalgo, Smiley, and Sadie. No one else…that I know of…_ I lifted my chin and squared my shoulders.

 _Anyone who wants to hurt me can try, I'll put up one hell of a fight._

The shadows moved once again, I saw dead eyes, a long-pointed nose, black hair, stripped clothing with feathers at his shoulders, claws for fingers, and sharpened teeth. Like every other creature around here. His hair stopped at the middle of his neck, he had a slender build…like a runner, suspenders held his pants up and his face had a pointed chin. His eyes were cataract, yet he could see me perfectly. He knew me. But I didn't know him.

"Faylen…?" He called again, I nodded slowly.

"And who are you?" I asked. He stepped forward again, he had a clear look of surprise on his face with a touch of pain. He looked… _hurt_ almost.

 _I can't imagine why. I don't know him._

"It's me. Jack?" He took another step forward, while I took a step back. Again, he looked hurt. Like I hurt him. I only shook my head lightly.

"I'm sorry, I don't know you." I held the robe close to my body, I felt slightly uncomfortable in his presence. His eyes watered slightly he started reaching out, but he stopped. His arm falling to his side.

"You look beautiful…not like you didn't look beautiful as a human…you just look…stunning." He looked at me again, and I felt pity for him. Still, it raised questions.

"You knew me as a human?" I asked. Then I scoffed.

"That can't be right. That's against the rules." I crossed my arms, another wave came up and splashed my ankles. The man named Jack shook his head.

"It is…but…" When I was able to see him more clearly, I saw his cheeks were sunken as well. He didn't look… _healthy_ like a lot of the other creatures that roamed the castle grounds. I kept my distance for the moment…just in case he was going to lay a hand on me. Still his eyes roamed my body and looked me over.

"How has he treated you?" He asked. I gave a shrug.

"The king? Just fine actually. He gives me everything I want." I looked out to the water, feeling goosebumps rise against my skin. He took another few steps to me. The moment his fingers touched my skin, I felt an electric jolt shoot through my stomach. A wall of emotions slammed against my head, I turned to look at him. For a second I watched his eyes fade to a soft blue. The moment I regained my thoughts I reached out and shoved at his chest as hard as I could.

"I don't fucking know you…what the hell do you want from me?!" I snapped. The pain came back just as fast as before. He started reaching out again.

"Don't touch me!" My voice raised to a shrill cry. He was shaking his head.

"Listen Faylen, calm down please! You'll wake everything up, and I'll be caught-" I cut him off.

"Good! You tried touching me! No one touches me!" I felt my heart shudder, skip, and roll against my ribcage.

 _This thing just tried touching me! What the fuck!?_ I took a deep breath in, I was about to scream till something wrapped around my mouth. It was a black and white ribbon. His eyes grew serious, his mouth tightened the clowns' lips were drawn back and I saw the sharp teeth.

"Listen to me!" He snapped.

My breathing was rapid and hard, I could hardly keep my heart calm. He stepped up to me, he smelt of cotton candy and death the smell of the both made my head spin.

"Your son is here, Calen. Where the hell is he?" He snapped. I looked at him as if he had lost his mind.

 _I don't have a kid, I can't get pregnant…what the fuck is he talking about?_ My thoughts were shooting rapidly. I only shook my head. His eyes darkened again.

"Please tell me you remember Calen…please tell me he didn't take that away from you too…" His voice faltered, real crystal tears fell from his eyes. And I felt…felt pain for him. I hurt, for the clown. The hole within my chest heaved. Something wasn't right.

"There it is, there's the small spark I wanted to see. I hated seeing your eyes so dead." He was face to face with me, and yet…yet I felt true terror fill me. There was something deep within his eyes that scent my radar shooting off.

 _Oh god…who is this guy?!_ I blinked twice.

"You had a son. You named him Calen Isaac Snow. After Zalgo kidnapped you, Calen went on the hunt to find you." He looked over his shoulder then back to me.

"Calen was nine when you were kidnapped. He searched and searched and searched for you…for nine long years and I couldn't do anything because I was afraid. I promised you, I swore to you I would protect him, and I failed…he killed himself to come save you. Calen-"

"Let her go Jack."

My eyes looked over his shoulder, Smiley and a very pissed off husband walked side by side. I saw his neon eyes through the dark. His human skin had been shed, and I was face to face with the devil he was. His skin was black, and his mouths were red and gaping. His head floated above his shoulders, he had no neck, and had multiple arms as well. He radiated power, and he looked pissed. I could not just see it, I felt it to my core. I looked at him, begging him with my eyes to help me. I pleaded. I shivered in the very spot I stood. Jack looked back at me, slowly the ribbons unwound from my face. He stood straight.

"I see you managed to come back. Looking for your little pet I guess?" Zalgo asked. The love died from his voice, and he only looked at me. Smiley walked passed and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. He pushed me away from the ocean and back to Zalgo's side.

"Get her back inside Smiley. I'll deal with Jack accordingly." He looked back to me.

"Wait." He raised a hand. Smiley stopped, and I looked at him. Zalgo floated over to me, black miasma surrounded him. His clawed hand reached out and touched my chin, he wasn't gentle like he normally would've been. His hand was cold, and rough. He forced me to look up at him. When I did, he searched my eyes.

"Do you remember anything Faylen?" He snapped. His voice, once was handsome had changed to deep and crackling. I shook my head no as fast as I could.

"Are you lying to me little song bird?" He pushed. Again, I shook my head no. His fingers traveled to my throat and held me still. His hand was tight, I gasped.

 _He's never done something like this before…what's wrong with him?_ His hand grew so tight I felt the blood stop flowing. Within his red eyes I saw my lips turn blue.

"Let her go Zalgo! She doesn't remember me or Calen!" The man named Jack screamed. Zalgo's grip had frown so tight I felt my airways be cut off.

"She better not, or I'll end everything here and now. Love only goes so far. If I find out you even remotely have any emotions for anyone else other than me…" I reached out taking his wrist in my hand.

"Let me go. Now Zalgo." I snapped, it was hard enough to breath it was even harder to speak. My voice came out in a raspy gasp. Zalgo started to chuckle.

"I own you. You're mine. Not anyone else's. I give you everything the world has to offer. A crown, a title, an ocean a whole world, and yet…you dare start having emotions for another?!" He growled. I started shaking my head again.

"N…no!" I gasped out. Zalgo stared into my face before letting me go.

"Fine." He dropped me. I fell back into Smiley's arms. I gasped for the fresh air entering my lungs. I looked at him, and felt terrified. Never had he done something like this before. At that moment, I watched the clown attack him. The ribbons he had wrapped around me were shooting out at him, they looked ten times sharper then when he had attacked me. Zalgo, was not impressed. He easily held up his other arm and took the brunt of the attack. He turned around to look at Jack, he scowled.

"You seriously think, you weak pathetic thing could attack me?" He walked forward to him. My heart stopped for a moment. I was worried, not for Zalgo…but the clown.

 _Why…? Why am I worried?_ I watched as he approached the clown.

"Don't you dare touch her like that again!" Jack screeched, he went for another attack.

Zalgo caught him by the throat and brought him to his face, I could just barely hear him speak.

"I'm going to throw you in the dungeon and have my executioner have his way with you. I'm going to make sure to tell him, nice and slow…make it painful. I want him to feel every bit of pain, that his dear Faylen felt, as she was being changed." Zalgo started to laugh as Jack squirmed in his grasp.

"You can't hurt that which is god laughing Jack. You can't do a damn thing to me." He turned to look at me.

"Smiley, take her inside. Make sure she gets washed up and back in bed. I want to make sure she doesn't run off again…or I might have to clip her wings." He had a sick grin on his face, that made my skin crawl. I leaned more into Doctor Smiley and he held me close to him, away from Zalgo. His eyes were wide and bouncing. The clown looked at me, he had the look of terror on his face…yet the clown had the most homicidal glint in his eye that I've ever seen.

"You lay another hand on her, and I'll fucking kill you!" Jack began to squirm, and kick. Snapping his jaws. He looked like a feral beast.

"Now, now…that's not how I made you Laughing Jack. You're supposed to be happy, laughing…giving out candy." His eyes shifted to the clown in his hand. Smiley started pulling me away from the scene playing out before me. He kept pulling me, and pulling me while I stared at the clown fighting against Zalgo.

 _I've never seen him like that before…what the hell is going on…?_ My chest heaved, I took a sharp breath in, spots flared in my vision. I could only whisper soft words.

"I'm about to pass out…"

…

I laid with Sadie in my arms, our naked bodies linked together. She was asleep on my chest, her breath leaving her nose and tickling my chest. I had my arm wrapped around her, my finger running through her soft blonde hair. Her small breasts laid against my skin, I still didn't feel anything. I tried hard, so very hard. She exposed her heart to me, and told me everything that I wanted and more. Physically I felt her touch, her kisses and her. Emotionally I was empty. I still felt attached to this woman more so then before. I had to protect her at whatever cost. I wasn't going to fail her, like I failed that haunting woman in my dreams. Dreams that I refuse to have this night. I wouldn't let sleep come near me. Not with this feeling deep within my gut. I still couldn't believe I allowed myself to fall this deep into her. Allowing myself to bed her. I couldn't help it. I wanted to feel something other than nothing. Physically I felt pleasure, mentally I felt it too. I just…couldn't feel _love_ for her. I wanted too. I cared for her and that's how far it went. I ran my fingers over her pale skin, it was soft and felt like satin. I couldn't believe the sad story she had…those people pouring that paint all over her, embarrassing her enough to make her commit suicide.

 _Poor girl._

I was still able to feel pity. I pitied her and her story, that's as far as it went. I needed to feel more. I wrapped both arms around her and held her close. She sighed in content and continued to slumber. I always wondered how a ghost could sleep. I looked down at her closed eye. She truly was a plain jane…at the same time, she was beautiful all the same. She was so naïve and innocent. It made me hate the world even more, how could they push such a sweet girl so far as to kill herself? I kissed the top of her head, I could smell the off scent of blood at the same time something floral. It was so soft I almost missed it. And underneath all of that, I smelt us and what we had done. My room was simple with a single bed, dresser, and bathroom. Nothing special, I didn't want to decorate it, and I didn't want anything else. It was devoid of anything personal. Just how I am.

"Calen…" She whispered in her sleep.

The sound of my name made that familiar lurch in my chest. I looked down at her, she grasped at my chest and let out a soft sigh. Her dreams must be just as bad as mine were. She whimpered, and cried…at times she softly said the name Amber. I just gently hold her and rock her back to her deep slumber. There wasn't much else I could do other than be there for her. For a moment I closed my eyes and felt myself drift. Just like anything else, sleep began to welcome me into its humble arms. And for once, I didn't mind walking into it. I wanted it, I wanted to see what the dreams would bring. I fought it long and hard, my body was tired though I couldn't feel it, I knew it wanted rest. The day was filled with executions I had no intention of doing. My arms began to fall to my sides as I fell into the deep slumber.

…

" _I'm just going to see how long you can hang here little boy. If you place your feet down on that stool, it'll slip out from underneath you and you'll fall, when you fall that necklace I put around your neck? It'll tighten up and kill you." The bad man laughed in front of my face._

The sound of static.

" _Calen run!" Her voice screamed into the darkness. I reached out for it, I wanted to touch her. Hug her again. I saw those bright green eyes in front of me. She was just barely out of reach._

Static.

 _Boom_

 _Boom_

 _Boom_

 _I pulled the trigger three times, the bad man on top of the crying figure on the ground turned around. He was holding his arm where I shot him. It only grazed him, he looked pissed. He shouted something else and took off. The rain was bad, really bad…I put the gun down on the ground. I went over to the crying figure. Her face was blurred, like someone tried erasing it. She was naked before me, and yet-_

Static.

" _M…u she's alive! I know she is, I found the man who took her! I know what I have to do now." I walked up to her, her face was a blurred mess too. I could see her for shit._

Static

" _I love you Uncle Calen stay safe okay?" I pulled the little child into my arms, I held her tight. Tight enough to try and pull my own broken pieces back together. When she pulled away I gave her a bigger smile._

" _I know mommy's going to be late. I know it's wrong to leave you in the house all by yourself. But you're a big girl. You're almost eight, I believe you can do it Ar…a." I kissed her forehead. While leaving the apartment, everything turned black. As if I had closed my eyes for a long moment…then opened them back up. I was face to face with the young man at the cash register, checking the gun out. It was beautiful._

Static. Popping. Screaming.

 _Running, running faster, harder…a singing voice so beautiful, I had to follow…out back of a crappy bar…_

Head thumping.

" _Calen!"_ _Screaming my name…more screaming._

Pop.

" _Help me!"_

…

I shot up, Sadie was asleep beside me. My skin was slick with sweat, I still could see her green eyes and that bright red hair of hers. My temples throbbed as the rest of the nightmare began to slowly drift off. My heart rolled in my chest and my breathing labored. It took a minute or two for me to blink away the residual's memories. The door was creaking open, and I could hear them. I could hear two voices…a man and a woman, both filled with love and joy…both saying my name. One was her. The woman I sought out.

I stood from my bed, and began to put on my boxers and jeans.

 _I need to find Faylen._

As I started zipping up my jeans Sadie rolled over, she looked at me with her soft brown eye and gave me a light smile. She patted the side of the bed I was on, after a moment of her seeing me stand her smile faded for a moment.

"Where are you going Calen?" She asked, I gave her a look. Her eyes wondered over my body, I sat down next to her and kissed her forehead.

"I have this undying rage inside me Sadie. I must do something about it, before it drives me up a wall." I gently placed my hand on the top of her head. Her eye sparkled with admiration to me.

"I know you're scared that I might go and never come back. But I promise, I'll come back for you." She sat up, the blanket falling off her body. She wrapped her arms around me and held me tightly. She closed her eye.

"Please don't do anything stupid, he'll kill you." She whispered into my ear. I closed my eye as I held her. Both arms wrapped around her small body, I kept her close to me. The words were forming on my tongue and wanting to pass through my lips.

"Sadie!" The voice screamed from the hallway. Her head snapped up as she looked at the door, then back to me. She offered me a sad soft smile, I captured her face into my hands and pulled her into me. I placed my lips against hers, my heart stilled for a moment as I tasted her lips. She tasted as sweet as a strawberry.

"Sadie, where the hell are you?!" He screamed again.

I kept her into the kiss for a little longer, I just wanted to feel a little something else. I pulled back, her breath puffed out against my lips.

"I swear Sadie, I'm not leaving without you." I opened my eye and she looked at me. Again, she smiled.

"I'm nothing without you." I caressed her cheek, her eye widened as tears surfaced.

"I love you." I said them, they tumbled out of my mouth and she had the biggest smile I ever seen. I wanted to smile too, but that was something I was uncappable of doing. I wanted too…I just couldn't.

"I love you too Calen. I promise I'll help you out any way I can." She looked to the door for a moment, then back to me.

"The Queen…Calen…she's your mother." She took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"Her mind had been wiped. She can't remember anything. She's just like us, she'll kill if he commands it. She's his little pet." She got close to my ear to whisper.

"She uses her body and voice as a weapon. She has charisma like crazy. Faylen is the perfect monster he had always wanted. She sacrificed herself to save you. She did all of this, to make sure you wouldn't get harmed by him. Now that you're here, he wiped you too. It's why you can't remember anything. He took anything that might have been comprising to him, and made sure you were just here for his personal gain…Zalgo is a god. You try to fuck him over, he'll know. To get to your mother is asking for a death sentence. The other night, when you touched her…I saw it in your face. You recognized her, and she you. There's a bond between you two that will not be broken. You need to convince her of who she used to be. Try to bring her memories back. I'm sure you'll have the mother you were looking for. I swear I'll do whatever I can." She pulled away slowly, I felt no lie within her body. She was telling me nothing but the truth.

"I need to go before he gets more pissed off then what he is." She gave me a smile, a peck on the lips and a wave as she got dressed.

"I hope what I told you helped you Calen. I hate feeling that hatred inside you…that…deep loneliness. I knew what you came here for the moment I saw you…and I'm sorry for what he's done to you…" She sighed gently before leaving the room. The door closed with a soft click. I sat there, staring at my hands.

 _What she said made so much sense. It must be real, Faylen is my mother. There's nothing else to it. Why else would I try to get here? I came here to find her and bring her home…didn't I? I'm just one man, how the hell am I going to get her out and back to the real world? Is that even possible?_

…

I sat on the bed tapping my foot, my throat was sore, and it was hard for me to talk. Still Doctor Smiley looked my throat over, and into my mouth. He made a noise with his mouth, he called Sadie more than three times and she still took her time coming to the bedroom. He wanted to make sure I wouldn't leave the room.

 _As if…not with Zalgo as pissed off as he is._

I crossed my arms, and Doctor Smiley made a snide remark.

"I've dealt with him pissed, but not like this. Why did you leave your room Faylen? Do you know how dangerous it is out there? Even with you turned like this, you're his most prized creation. Do you have any idea how long it's going to take him to calm down? You're lucky he didn't start singing. Everything and anything would come after you!" A light lilt came to his voice, I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You have a…certain accent…" I turned to face him. He looked at me, his eyes flashed with a challenge.

"Oh?" He replied. I gave a smile.

"You sounded like you were from London. _Old_ London." I replied. He lifted his face and snarled lightly.

"You're very wrong." He snapped.

My gut twisted, and I scoffed.

"You're lying to me Doctor Smiley…or…should I say, Jack the Ripper?" I watched his face pale drastically, he looked away from me. He crossed his arms and scoffed again.

"I know your story, I'm not stupid. You're cranky because he hasn't let you out to prowl for a while. Not since…" I stopped for a moment before taking a deep breath in.

"Before Calen got here." He looked at me again, this time he dropped his act.

"How'd you figure?" He asked. I gave a light shrug.

"I'm not stupid. I put the pieces of the puzzle together. You've dropped quite a few hints to me too. And the way you look at women who are scantily dressed. Sadie being one of them. You have quite the eye on her. And not in the good way either. You hate her, you want to slit her throat all over again." I stood.

"I'm one of the few you refuse to kill…" I stepped to him, dropping my voice. His eyes lowered as he watched me.

"Because I have complete power over you. I control you, with the sound of my voice…with the power of suggestion…don't I?" I purred. Slowly Doctor Smiley nodded.

My heart was racing fast. I was scared shitless.

"Tell me about the clown that was speaking to me." I ordered. Doctor Smiley started to shake his head.

"Come on you big bully, tell me." I walked to him, running my fingers over his chest and down. I looked directly into his eyes. I watched his pupils dilate.

 _Perfect._

"Tell me Doctor Smiley. Tell me about the clown. How do I know him? How does he know me?" I purred. The good ol doctor considered my eyes and melted into a puddle at my feet.

"He's your lover. Has been since you were a teenager. Zalgo took you away from him. He forced Jack to make a deal. You or the child. He saved the child because he swore to you that he would protect Calen, whom is the new boy. He's the new executioner. A new butler to wash the shit from Zalgo's drawers. He's only here because he killed other people to get to you…you forced him to eat a bullet." He was shaking, I forced him to concentrate on my eyes.

"Tell me more Smiley. Now." I reached his groin, I wrapped my fingers around him and squeezed. He let out a gasp.

"C…Calen is your son. The new guy? Yeah. He…he was here to save you. You were Zalgo's most prized monster. He created you for the sheer beauty and anger you had towards mankind. The thing Zalgo wasn't expecting was Calen coming here to save you. So, he made sure he rid him of his memories. I gave him a surgery that fixed him. He was always different since he came here, his eyes were as dead as yours. Looking at him was like looking at your twin." He began to sweat.

"There's something else you're not telling me." I pushed. He trembled slightly.

"Zalgo wants you all to himself. He'll kill Calen and Jack if he has too." I took a step back, letting him go. He let out a sharp breath as he leaned back against the wall. I stared at him, clenching my fists.

"Take me to the dungeon. Now. I want to see this clown." I snapped. Doctor Smiley raised his hand and shook his head.

"Oh hell no. I'm not getting butchered over some broad." He began to breathe heavier.

"You told me, when I first got here. That you and Sadie were the only two I could trust. So, I'm doing that. I trust in your word. And I trust in you taking me to him. Since he's here, I'm the queen I deserve to speak to the prisoner." Again, I got a head shake.

"And I've learned never to look you in the eye again." He replied. I crossed my arms.

"It was the only way to get you to answer me straight. You were lying to me. I could tell." He looked up at me, and laughed.

"How'd you know that? Telepathy?" He snapped. I shook my head.

"I just knew. Call it intuition." I replied. After a moment or two of silence, a soft knock came to the door.

"About damn time the girl gets here." He sat upright and opened the door. I watched Sadie walk in, her eye looking down at the ground, her soft blonde hair covered her black eye. She kept her hands in front of her. She was another one who knew everything that was going on. Another one who didn't tell me the truth right away. Another monster under Zalgo's rule…an innocent one. I gave her a look over before sitting down on my bed.

"Sadie?" My voice was still hoarse, but soft. She slowly looked back up to me.

"Tell me something, and I want you to be honest with my dear. Is Calen my son?" I asked, her eye looked away from me to Smiley. He was shaking his head. She took a deep breath in and sat up right for the first time in a long time.

"Yes, ma'am he is. He's been looking for you for so long. When he found you, you had no idea who he was. I watched over him for the last ten years ma'am. I watched and watched…I'm a stalker, it's my job." Her face held determination to get her story out.

"He wanted to find you so bad, he went on a killing spree and then killed himself. It's why he's missing an eye. Like me." She pulled her hair to the side for me to see. I again nodded.

"Sadie that's enough!" Smiley snapped. She stared at him.

"No! She deserves to know!" She snapped back. And I nodded.

"I agree. I do deserve to know. I can't sleep at night because of the nightmares. It'll be nice to know what they were trying to tell me." I looked back to Sadie and nodded.

"Tell me more." I urged.

"Zalgo forced us to keep our mouths shut, I know you've been hearing this a lot. But you're his perfect creature. He wanted your voice at first. Then, he saw how beautiful you were, he wanted more of you. Then…the darkness inside of you was so strong that he ate it. He took every memory from you, except him and the budding emotions you had for him." She shook her head, as if feeling sick to her stomach.

"It's wrong. You loved Jack." She looked at me directly in the eyes and stepped up to me.

"You don't have to use it on me. I'll tell you the truth without you forcing me." She knelt before me, taking my hands into her own. I held them. They were soft and gentle.

"Calen is your son. You were attacked by a man named Stu, you were forced into the hospital where you were at your weakest. You tasted death enough for Zalgo to become even more interested, he snagged you while he had the chance. While Jack was off fighting for Calen…Calen was almost killed by a noose. You had a very good, dear friend named Myu. Her husband Stu killed her entire family and staff. She was pregnant with Arora Faylen. Your goddaughter. You met her at the nightclub where she worked. She was being sexually assaulted by her boss. You told her to leave before you made everyone kill themselves. Myu has grown very old…but she's still a strong woman. She hasn't moved on from you and she continue searching. You have Arora one message, to a woman you didn't even remember. You said; stop searching. And she didn't. She refused. When Arora told Jack what she saw, he came here to seek you out. When he did that, he got caught. Zalgo is very, very pissed…he's in his true form. Which means, Jack will be heavily guarded by other monsters, or by him." She squeezed my hands. My head was pounding hard enough for me to close my eyes. She wasn't lying about anything at all, I could feel it deep within my stomach. Opening my eyes, I looked at Sadie.

"Will I ever remember my past?" I asked. Slowly she nodded.

"It will come back in bits and pieces. And sometimes not at all. I chose not to remember mine. I rather not. Smiley over there knows his, he just lies about it all the time. Jack knows his…" She sighed.

"The way I look at it, were all pawns in Zalgo's game. He's the devil that controls our lives. If he finds out I told you any of this, he'll kill me officially. The same thing with Smiley, you…he might wipe your memory all over again. And Calen…" I felt her palms become clammy.

"Calen he'll dispose of as he sees fits. The same thing with Jack." She shook her head slowly.

"I know it's not fair. And if you remember any of your past, I'm sorry for how I treated you in the beginning. That's not how I wanted to be. I wanted to get closer to you, so I had to work side by side with Zalgo. I knew there was something about you that struck out…you weren't supposed to be here. You just didn't _belong._ He took something that wasn't his." She bit her bottom lip, I watched the tear rise in her eye.

"And I feel for you and Calen both. He ripped you two away from each other. Something that cannot be forgiven. I was working behind the scenes, trying to get you two back together." She looked over her shoulder.

"He's just down the hall. Please let me go get him. You two need to actually talk to each other." She was about to stand, and I held onto her hands tighter than before. She looked back at me, slowly I shook my head.

"No. It's not a good idea." I whispered, my voice hoarse. Her eye went dead.

"What do you mean, 'not a good idea'?" She asked. I gave her a sad look.

"I haven't seen him since he was a child. I hardly know him anymore." I whispered.

The door within my head was creaking open, the pain was flooding back. Memories of little nine-year-old Calen came with it. My head felt as if it was cracking open, like a baseball bat swung and struck me on the side of the head. It was almost unbearable. I wanted to cry. My heart felt so heavy that it too felt on the verge of shattering all over again. I felt hollow for so long, these memories made the emotions overwhelming.

"I can't believe he took these away from me…" Memories flashed before my eyes, making me feel sick.

"Please, let me go get him." She begged. I looked at her, I saw the want, the need to help. I took a deep breath in and nodded. She let my hands go before she looked at Smiley and stuck her tongue out. He snapped his jaws at her.

"Child." He spat.

"Stop it!" I snapped at him, he nearly broke his neck looking at me. I felt like I was teetering on the verge of unconsciousness. I kept holding onto the silk bedsheets, my chest was caving in and I was having a hard time breathing. The anger was still there, the hatred…the only thing different was unbearable sadness that kept teetering onto depression.

 _How could I allow him to take away the memories of my son? My only son? The reason I had tried killing myself…the only reason I allowed him to change me, was so he would leave him be. The only reason I had ever become the creature I am._ I took a sharp breath in; the tears were finally there. It felt so good to have them falling over my cheeks. To feel the relief in crying. I leaned forward and sobbed, Smiley stood there, unsure of what to do. I wrapped my arms around myself, I was falling into my shell. The walls were closing in, and the flashing memories of everything that had happened with Calen and I…the only thing that had refused to budge was the fog that had been Jack.

 _Where was he in my life? Why can't I remember him, this makes no sense! Remember my son, but not him?!_ I took a deep, shuddering breath in and another sob escaped. I looked at Smiley, I stared a hole through him.

"Why?! Why the fuck did he pick me?!" I screeched, the screech came out so painful I could taste blood. Smiley dropped his frown, becoming emotionless. He tilted his head slightly.

"He loved the darkness inside you. He loved the potential you had to become the perfect murderer. And you have. You had replaced me. I was his favorite, then he found you." He gave a half shrug.

"Personally, I didn't care. It allowed me to have more freedom to kill. Which I had thoroughly enjoyed may I add." He crossed his arms again.

"Your darkness is what fueled him, and the fact you weren't afraid of the darkness…made him _desire_ you." He looked away from me.

I stared at him.

"So, he took me away from my _child._ My own flesh and blood, just because he wanted me." I let it hang in the air, and he just nodded.

"We're monsters. What do you expect?"

I touched the locket, pushing down on the mechanism it popped open. I saw the bright green eyes and red hair of a little nine-year-old boy. It was Calen. My son.

The soft knock came, and he opened the door. The moment I laid my eyes on him, I saw him. I saw Calen. My heart nearly burst from my chest, yet my fear kept me grounded. When he looked at me, I saw the death within his eye…till he saw the tears upon my face. We gazed at each other for a moment longer. Sadie closed the door. I closed the locket.

"C…Calen?" I whispered, he nodded slowly.

I got to my feet, I didn't walk to him. I ran. He opened his arms and I went flying. He was so much taller than me by a foot. He was bulky and had strength, he was able to wrap me in his arms without harming me. The cry that came from my mouth was unexpected.

"I did so much to protect you, but you still come after me." I choked out. He still held me, burying his face on the top of my head. He said nothing.

"I tried so hard to be the perfect mother, but I was doing nothing but harming you. I'm so, so sorry baby." I sniffled, I tried breathing but another sob racked my chest.

"I've missed you so god damn much…you have no fucking idea Calen. I've done so much shit to keep you safe." Another wracking sob. He just held me, stroking my back.

"Mom…" He whispered. The words came out of his mouth, making me cry even harder.

"Oh, my baby…" I squeezed him harder.

"Mommy I'm so sorry…I did horrible things to get here." He sounded just like the little nine-year-old boy I had left behind. I wanted nothing more than to leave and go home…

 _But where is home? Where will we go?_

He held me tighter than before, as if he was trying to put all the broken pieces back together. The memories were still too hazy for me to try and put them into one. The only thing I knew for a fact, was that I had my son in my arms.

"Calen…oh god Calen…" I finally took a deeper breath in. My tears stained through his shirt. Gently he pulled me away, to look down at my face.

"We have to get to Jack, Calen. He's in the dungeon. We have too." I placed my hands on his chest, I saw life come back into his eye. Realization crept into my heart.

"Oh god…I made you do that…" I touched the eyepatch. Finger running over the light cloth.

"Calen…I'm so sorry baby…" I whispered, slowly he shook his head. His hair gently touching my fingers.

"You've gotten so big…my baby boy…you grew into your muscles…" My bottom lip trembled, and Calen finally smiled a real smile.

"Yeah, football will do that to you."

 _He played football? Oh my god…I've missed out so much on his life…_

I only watched him for a moment longer before Sadie broke us up.

"Look, we've got to get going. You need to wash your face up ma'am before he gets back. I promise I'll help any way I can. Just remember something." She gently started pushing Calen out the door.

"He cannot know, you remember anything. If he decides that you need…another brain wash. He will give you one that might leave you with _nothing._ You'll become a zombie." She looked at Calen then back to me.

"I love you Calen. I'm so sorry for being such a horrid mother…" I whispered, he only gave me a side grin. His eyes twinkled.

"I love you mom, I always thought you were the best." He chuckled before leaving the room. I sat down on the bed. Looking up at the late-night sky. There wasn't a single star…and still I wasn't afraid of the dark.

"We're all players in a game I refuse to lose." I whispered to the dark sky.

 _I won't live in a life you that made me choose. The decision was never mine in the end._


End file.
